AN: I am well aware this is mushy right now, very well aware of it. But I think a little mushy is good, after all Mika and Raizo's friendship hasn't really moved along to the 'couple' stage, even though there's a good foundation for it. Plus, Mika being in delicate health means she can't work. Not being able to work means no researching. No researching means no Raizo haring off to kill things. For the time being at least.

Also, side note, the silky blanket mentioned in the story, yes I have one. And yes I sleep with it every night. I also have a Guaca-mole. It's a squeaky toy that is a mole, and when I was little I realized that the word 'guacamole' has 'mole' in it, it would tickle me pink every time I thought about that wordplay. Still does to this day. So that is what I named him. Yes, I sleep with him too. And a gabillion pillows. I think Mika, being the excitable type would probably like having some sort of security things that she's had most of her life, and while very girly, and almost silly, it seems fitting to my way of thinking, and so I'm letting her borrow that tendency of mine. Generally I don't write much of myself into the girls other than a potty mouth, the male characters usually resemble me more closely in attitude. So hopefully to ya'll that'll make sense. Also, while I don't think Mika is a silly character, or all that shallow, that is how she could come off at first, because unless she has a puzzle in front of her to work on, her intelligence tends to go from one subject to another seeking stimulation. It doesn't mean she's flighty, which will hopefully become clearer as I develop my version of her more fully. Mika shouldn't be simply a soft thing that keeps Raizo happy by being pretty, soft, and available, but also by being intelligent and fiercely protective of him. C'mon, she knew full well what rushing into that building could mean. Or running down to where he was locked up. Rather than fleeing on her own, seeking to only save her own skin in the here and now, she went in to save him too.

In all likelihood Raizo would have died those two times if she hadn't done anything, and probably when he was tied up to that stake, which again, Mika ran to cut him lose, even though she had promised/been told to stay inside the vehicle. So, she's actually stronger than at first blush. Trusting, naive, and a little ditzy, but also relentless in her own way. She deserves just as much development as Raizo. Besides, do you think Raizo would be interested in someone who was always weak? Who wasn't willful? The whole 'weakness' and 'pain' and 'suffering' thing was drilled into Raizo so hard, that no matter how much he may want to get away from it, there's no way he could ever do so fully, so a truly weak woman would hold little long term appeal for him. Nor would it make him repeatedly put himself on the line and drive him to fear for the other person. Keiko was strong, she was willful, and she was protective. Those are things that Raizo needs, things he admires. So, Mika being pushy and demanding, almost petulant sometimes when she wants things her way makes sense to me, so long as she isn't like that all the time. She's not some spoilt princess, and out in the 'normal' world, she's rather kickass. She just can't kick ass physically. Doesn't make her weak, just means she has her differences from Raizo.

Viva la diferonce! (And I probably spelled that wrong, I know some Spanish, and some German and too much English. And absolutely no French. Except for 'merde' and things that have to do with food. C'mon, everyone knows 'shit' in most languages...)

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Wake Up 5

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Mika's heart was breaking for Raizo as he dozed peacefully. No one had ever done this for him, not ever. His body language was as clear as cut glass, things he said and didn't say. No one had kissed him, no one had held him, no one had loved him, and if her hunch was right, no one had ever had sex with him. Honestly, Mika would've thought he had at least had some sort of encounters, even if they contained no affectionate touches. Some woman with half a brain probably would dig her way into his pants, he was just that attractive, but that didn't seem to be the case. The fact that he had trembled, barely noticeable but it had been there, spoke of how scared he had been of any such intimate contact. All Mika wanted to do was hang onto Raizo now, bundle him up in her blankets and keep him safe and warm and stuff him full of cookies and milk. To never let him out in the cold emotionally ever again.

No wonder he was so shut down.

Toying with a strand of his hair, shiny as it was, it was a little coarse because each hair was so thick, Mika ignored the rumbling in her tummy. She was afraid to move, was afraid to risk waking Raizo from what looked to be something he desperately needed. Somewhere along the line, Mika's view of Raizo had changed. Rather than thinking of him as a safety net and shield, Mika was thinking of how to be his safety. Of course she couldn't kick butt, couldn't do anything to keep him from physical harm, but she could do other things. Like ignore the gurgle from her belly and tuck her baby blanket over the both of them more securely.

She was thirty-three but what she had told Raizo was the truth, just because something couldn't actually physically protect you, didn't mean that the feeling of safety was any less real or necessary. Sighing softly, Mika remembered her father. He had been the one to tell her that there was no such thing as a girl too big for her baby blanket or bed time stories or hugs from daddy. Officer Coretti had been a tall rail of a man who had laughed often and worked hard to keep others safe. Mika got his build, and her mother's smarts, but somewhere between Martha Coretti and Abrahm Coretti Mika got her personality. Knowing that she was no good at being a cop, too many issues with authority and a general fear of guns, Mika went into school looking for other ways of protecting and serving. It gave her a sense of fulfillment, and a way to be closer to her father, whom she wished was still able to give her a hug.

Whispering, "Never too old for hugs from daddy." Plopping an awkward kiss atop Raizo's head, "And never too old for snuggling up and feeling safe under blankies."

In repose Raizo looked so young, so vulnerable. How could anyone do anything to hurt him? The very thought was like the idea of dropping baby bunnies into a blender while they were still alive and hitting 'puree'. Raizo certainly wasn't some sexy, older, powerful, worldly man – not like Maslow. There was a time when Ryan had made her stomach flutter, nothing had happened of course, but that hadn't made Mika blind to his appeal. No, Raizo wasn't anything like Maslow. For Mika, Maslow had only been an idea, a thrill of titillation. By comparison Raizo appealed to the protective urges Mika had, and her own need for protection. To feel like there was a big, strong man around who would check under her bed, in her closets and keep all the nasty monsters in there from coming out to get her in the night. And to feel like she was serving and protecting someone who needed it so desperately.

That wasn't everything, but it was enough for a foundation for Mika to be curious. To want to know more, to understand more, to do more. Raizo was annoyingly attractive, and she didn't even like Asian guys, too many horror stories from her Taiwanese dorm mate – what would her mama say? 'Asian men don't like strong women', 'be prepared to clean a lot and feel shame if you don't give birth to tons of boys' or even 'oh dear, that's going to be a small penis'. As open minded as her mom was, she was still a little in the dark about other cultures, even a little racist at times despite having married a half-black, half-Italian. Even if that was almost exactly what Mai had described her brothers like, and the guys her parents wanted her to marry. Smiling at the silliness of that, Mika wished she was better at placing the Asian ethnic groups, but she was a fact finder, not an ethnologist. Which didn't mean she wasn't going to try and shuffle through the built in database that was her brain.

Raizo seemed too big to be from most of the Asian groups found in China, maybe Korean, they got pretty big nowadays. Running the tip of a finger over the fringe of eyelashes that touched the tops of Raizo's cheeks, or maybe he was Japanese. Definitely not Vietnamese, that much Mika could be sure of. Utterly wrong build in the torso, facial structure, and coloring on top of all that. Making it a game, Mika studied Raizo, allowing her thoughts to wander from one topic to another. Maybe she should buy him a teddy bear, or give him her baby blanket to keep him company so he would know what it was like to have something snuggly when bad dreams came?

Giggling suddenly at a random image – of Raizo hugging a giant, very pink, Hello Kitty.

"What is it?" sounding entirely too awake for someone who had been as limp as a bowl of jell-o for nearly an hour before.

Giving his shoulders a quick squeeze, "Funny thought."

Raizo looked almost high he was so relaxed, like he had eaten a pound of space cake, "Ah," droopy lids, the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes gone.

"How old are you?" scratching lightly with her nails at the stubble on his chin, which caused Raizo's neck to stretch, like a cat and his throat vibrated.

"What does that have to do with anything?" eyes closing.

"Curiosity," immensely pleased by his languid reactions. The amount of barriers just a little snuggling could break down was amazing, "If I tell you how old I am -"

"You're thirty-three, birth date is the sixth of October, 1976 at approximately two o'four am in Chicago, Illinois. Parents, Martha and Abrahm Coretti," reciting easily, shocking Mika, "Graduated with top honors from Georgetown University, 2001."

Mouth hanging open, "How, how did you... know all that?"

Raizo rolled away, stretching, "It's in your file."

"What file?" sitting up, frowning down at him.

"Euro-pol," mirroring her actions, "I even know your credit score. You should lay off buying things on eBay."

"That's not fair," huffing, Mika crossed her arms, "who knows when I may need a mechanical fly swatter?"

"You should learn to travel light Mika," leaning over the bed, Raizo snagged his jeans, shucking his borrowed shorts, treating her to a view of his posterior. Which was distracting Mika from her irritation, "You don't need those things at all, they only weigh you down."

Rubbing the tender yet itchy area around her stitches, "But I like having things. I haven't ever had to worry about mobility."

Denim slithered over muscular thighs, hiding the bare, scarred skin, "You do now." Zipper making a 'zinnrrrch' sound as it was pulled up, "Pack a bag today, bare essentials. Some clothes, cash, a backup hard drive and your passport."

"Am I going somewhere?"

"No," Raizo bent down, grabbing his shirt which was to the good for Mika's sanity, "but you don't have the skills to break into a mall and steal clothes whenever you have to, and avoid being caught or recorded - which is one of the only ways to avoid a paper trail. If you have to leave in a hurry I may not be there to do for you, that which you cannot do for yourself."

Mika knew Raizo didn't mean to come off insulting or disrespectful, but it felt that way. Unsure of how to voice her feelings without sounding angry, Mika remained seated on the bed, picking at the tag, faded, illegible, but still intact, that hung from her baby blanket. If it had been anyone else, Mika would have snapped that she wasn't helpless. Remembering the way a sword had come towards her as she backed up against a wall, then a flying dagger attached to a chain whipping around it, yanking the deadly sword away, she had to amend that thought anyway. She was helpless sometimes, completely and utterly helpless. That was an unwanted sensation. Mika had worked hard to get where she was, to have an education, to have a good job, to have a car, live in Europe, have a nice apartment. In the real world, Mika wasn't helpless.

Raizo dipped down, head cocked, "You coming Mika? You should eat. Gather your strength." He hooked a finger in the top of her shorts, "You lost much weight in the hospital. You'll need to regain it for your health."

That was too much, "Raizo, I know you don't know much about people, let alone women, but let me clue you in on something." Waving her hand at her body, then his, "Women never like how much they weigh. They don't like any comments on their weight, ever. Unless it's to tell them they look good. I carried the 'affectionate', and I use that term lightly with heavy sarcasm, nickname of 'Stick' and 'Scrawny Britches' most of my life."

"Well you are thin," shrugging like it was nothing. "It is how you are built. But, you still need to put some weight on, now you are thinner than your build dictates."

Forging ahead, "And there's some girls who are built chunky, and you wouldn't go up to one and say 'you need to lose weight' would you?"

Shaking his head, "No, I would not go up to them at all. I don't go up to people unless I have a purpose for it."

"Raizo," temper slipping, "no comments on my weight. Or if I look bad. I don't want to know. Ever. Unless I ask you. Or if I have a bird sticking out of my hair, I'd like to know that, but not whether you think it looks good or bad. Unless it's good. No comments on girls appearances unless it's good comments."

"Fine," expression unreadable, "if there is a bird in your hair I will tell you, but I would hope you would be aware of its presence without me having to say so."

Raizo left the bedroom, and Mika flopped backwards on the bed. Did she and Raizo just have a fight? And he hadn't answered her question either. Moaning, Mika rolled over, pressing her face into a pillow, some days just weren't worth it. An unpleasant thought intruded, and Mika jumped up from the bed, her heart thundering suddenly, panic set in in seconds, and her left side began to hurt.

"Raizo? Raizo, please, tell me you didn't leave?" pressing a hand to her chest when the pain started while making her way out into the living areas. "Shit."

"What do you think you are doing Mika?" Raizo swiftly came from the kitchen, taking hold of her elbows to support her. "Your heart, it's beating too fast, calm down, you will hurt yourself."

"Ow, how do I make it stop?" the adrenaline coupled with her elevated blood pressure from irritation, mixed with fear, and now with pain, forcing her heart to go faster and faster, blood pounding in her veins, making them strain against the shunts and stitches that held them together.

Strong arms swung her up and carried her to the sofa, laying her down, "Mika, open your eyes, stop squeezing them closed." Obeying Raizo's command, "Now, think of something calming."

"That's easy for you to say," gasping as her chest tightened, Mika whimpered.

"Mika, you must relax your muscles, you must think of calm things," urgently Raizo directed her.

Shaking her head, "Can't. Can't...."

Watching as Raizo looked around, he seemed to come to some sort of decision, and then he was kissing her. Instantly the fear dropped away, replaced by pure sensation. The kiss was somewhat clumsy, but it worked, helping to break the cycle of stress-fear-pain-fear-more pain that her body had jumped headfirst into. Parting her lips, Mika instinctively deepened it as her world narrowed down to the feeling of full lips coasting over hers, pressing and moving. Moaning Mika sucked Raizo's surprisingly thick tongue into her mouth, and he flinched before moving closer. She knew when she pushed him too far by swirling her own wet muscle around his, because Raizo jerked away, eyes wide with surprise. But at least her heart had slowed down – utterly weird, because under normal circumstances she would be all aflutter at a kiss, instead she had relaxed.

"Rest now," veritably leaping from the couch, "I will make some tea, that will help. Then you must eat so that you can take your medicines."