AN: Thanks Leo Hime San, Cbarkins, Kris89 (I will go back and edit the smell of her hair, I have a wig shine that smells faintly grape-y, so may insert that instead), and Candice (hope your nephew is okay) for the intel. Any further suggestions anyone has are more than welcome. I am woefully ignorant and freely admit it. Writing is always viewed through the lens of one's own upbringing and experience. What mine always taught, was that pretty much anyone was just like me, no matter how 'different'. We all have two eyes, two ears, two arms and legs, as a general rule of thumb, and so that's how I write. But, that is not always accurate when writing characters of different ethnic or financial backgrounds, etc. There is only so much guessing that one can do, and while the internet and friends (if you have any who do) who come from the background you're writing about can give you. No matter how much you put yourself in someone else's shoes, you will never truly understand everything they have seen, heard, thought or experienced. You can't, but you can try. And trying is a step towards remembering that in the end, there's actually only one race: homo sapiens sapiens. That's you, me and everyone else walking around. In anthropology, Dr. Volweiler always said he got mad when he saw questionnaires that had "what race" are you on them, because what they're really asking is what ethnic group you belong to. Not what group of human you are. Homo erectus was a different race from you and I, but still human, homo astrolopithicus, while human is also of a different race.
Mika is simply a woman, and Raizo is simply a man. Each have backgrounds that are similar in some ways to ours, and different in others. There's a more subtle nuance that's much less obvious than Raizo's when it comes to Mika to my way of thinking. Raizo was brought up in a very specific way, with little change, and we can basically see that and understand it quite clearly, in fact he's not even really 'Asian' as how he grew up isn't accurate to the main part of the culture, making him non-ethnic at all except for physical demarcations. Mika grew up in the States, which has so many more issues with varying views and classes and education levels without having to toss in the fact that she's a WoC. Frankly this makes her so ultimately intreguing and difficult at some moments to write as she is both just like you and I, and for some of us entirely different. Not Other, but different. Just like the guy up the street who's dad's a pastor, and the girl in school who's got an engineer for a mom, or the kid across the street who's dad's a carpenter or mechanic. So, hoping that if anything in Mika's character comes off incorrectly, either because she's had a cop for a parent (none of my friends had police parents, just lots of military ones), because this isn't about a single piece of Mika's life, but the whole of it.
In the end, the cynical part of me wonders if any of us ever know another person, and how they feel, and if we ever realize how ignorant we truly are. Ignorant of ourselves, our impact on others and the world, and ignorant about each individual in our world. A self-professed hypocrite I may be, but I'm honest about it, and honest that I'm not all-knowing, all-understanding, no matter how much I wish I was. I wish I understood everything and everyone, then maybe, I'd understand myself. Funny, I hadn't meant for any of that to actually come out, and it's rather philosophical/political/anthropological/societal, but this story kinda brings it out in me. I read somewhere about how someone was happy to see an American made film for the general viewer that had a sexualized Asian male. They said "It's always been Asian guys kicking ass, but not getting any." While progress has been made in cinema and television, heck even books, so long as it's an issue that we have to think about, to work so hard on, we haven't come as far as we hopefully shall in the future. When it becomes a non-issue what religious, socio-economic or ethnic group a character comes from, that we don't have to say "Wow, cute Asian guy getting really cute WoC," or "Wow cute Venezuelan guy getting really cute German chick" etc, when we don't have to think 'wow' at all and simply accept the character as an individual, then we'll have gotten somewhere. When I saw Ninja Assassin, I didn't think any of that – I only thought "Oh dear god, he's delish, and she's just so beautiful. I wanna see'em make it! Bet if they had babies they'd be so painfully cute and beautiful in one...." Which is what I think about the Suspian fandom, "Bet if Prince Caspian and Queen Susan were to get between the sheets, they'd make some super cute babies!"
Unfortunately for some it is a surprise, and for others it's a point of pride. Or fortunately, whatever. We all need to be shaken up a little bit, to remind us of our place in this world as people. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we don't know everything, that we don't understand everything, and that no matter what we do understand and know, that there's always more beneath it. There's always another layer.
Strange, I honestly didn't mean to go on this tangent, but for those who read it, thanks. All I had meant to do was take two characters that I thought should have some air time and give them exactly that. All I had needed was a little bit of description, because I simply didn't know something. And that re-opened a whole can of worms and various deep thoughts.... But, like the commonly attributed to Freud quote "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar", sometimes a story, is just that. A story.
For everyone who answered my questions, please accept my humble thanks. I had a very unpleasant experience on YahooAnswers the last day or so while I had the same question up, and got static from so many different people, that I wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and cry. It was horrible to think that others would take a question intended for accurate portrayal, that I know makes me sound ignorant (because I am), as something offensive. It's understandable because there are many rude ignorant people in the world who ruin it for those who want to know pretty much anything. Heck, I had a similar response when asking about the care of a tattoo, over half of what I got was troll responses and static. Weird, sometimes I wonder if the internet has any couretsy left, and then everything gets fixed again by normal people reminding me that nope, there's normal people out here and not just those trolling for power.
So, with that, I hope you enjoy this chapte that I'm posting early. And that for you, it's not simply a story, but also something that makes you feel anything at all. Disgust, happy, silly, wiggly, or just a bit of anger – so long as feeling is evoked I am happy. And if this for some reason causes deeper thought, and possible analysis of the world and how media tells us it is, then cool beans.
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Wake Up Call 8
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Carefully unlocking the patio window Raizo entered Mika's apartment. There was no movement, but there was the soft sound of her breathing. Good, she was asleep and not quaking in fear, putting undue stress on her body. Making a cursory check of the rooms before entering the bedroom, Raizo saw signs of the furniture having been rearranged. The desk had been taken apart, and stacked off to the side, sandwiched between the wall and the sofa which had originally sat in the center of the living room. Everything had been moved to the sides, easing the cluttered feeling. Eyebrows bouncing up in surprise, Raizo wondered why Mika had done this. It was like she had made space for him to stretch, to exercise, further evidence of his welcome.
There were also signs that pointed to Mika having gone shopping as well, the fridge was stocked as were the cupboards, most of the items within leaned heavily towards Asian. Making a face, did Mika think all he ate were similar to the stuff like what was staring at him with a cute little white blob on it's packaging declaring it as 'genuine kimchi'? Or enough buns, dumplings, wrappers, and nappa cabbage to choke a horse? At least there was tea, sitting in a black canister next to a white electric kettle that had that fresh, new plastic reek hanging heavily on it still. Before he could let himself have any of what was on offer, Raizo checked on Mika finally.
Atop her blankets, a line of pillows had been laid out from the top of the bed to the bottom, and Mika was wrapped around them like they were a person. Jerking when he realized what she was wearing, Raizo stopped at the threshold. A pair of his shorts which were too big for her tangled around her waist, and the shirt he had been wearing the day before had wormed it's way half up her chest, exposing the underside of a breast. Her ever present blanket was wadded up under a leg, the bottoms of her feet were startlingly pale compared to the rest of her. Entranced, Raizo approached slowly not noticing the faint smell in the air until he was almost over top of Mika.
Giving a cautious sniff he identified it.
Brandy. Wrenching his gaze away from Mika's prone form, he saw on the nightstand beside her lamp, the bottle of antibiotics, steroids and painkillers. A shot glass and a half empty bottle of brandy sat beside the orange medicine bottles.
Alarmed, Raizo shook Mika, "Wake up, Mika, wake up."
"Mph, five more minutes," not opening her eyes, Mika burrowed her face into the nearest pillow.
"Mika," a hard edge creeping into his voice, "Mika wake up now."
"Whut? Raizo, what is it?" bolting upright. "Is something wrong?"
Grabbing the deep brown bottle, shaking it accusingly, "What do you think you were doing?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I had a drink," rubbing sleep from her eyes.
"Alcohol cancels out antibiotics, Mika," locking his jaw, leaning down so they were nose to nose, his disgust palpable, "it makes a dangerous mix with opiates. Your body is already weak, and you thought it was a good idea to drink with all that is already going on?"
"I only had a little," sounding like it was perfectly reasonable.
Sputtering, "Half a bottle of brandy is 'only a little'? Mika, Mika, you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do this to your body. It's poison. It's, it's grotesque!"
Raizo hadn't smelled the vile spirit on Mika before, not when he met her, but half a bottle in a few hours spoke of serious illness. Storming into her bathroom, Raizo jerked the top off, and upended the contents into the toilet. Mika clearly had a problem, and Raizo, who had taken it upon himself to guard her, apparently now had to guard Mika from herself as well as from outside threats.
"Hey!" Mika wrapped a hand around his arm, jerking it, making the brandy splash all over, "What do you think you're doing? I've had that bottle almost two years!"
Snarling, "Doing for you what you can't do for yourself!"
The last of the brandy was in the toilet bowl, and Raizo pushed the button viciously, flushing it away. Where one bottle was, there must be more Rraizo was sure of it. Tearing through the house, he yanked drawers and doors open wide, searching, sniffing for the tell-tale stench. In the last place he looked, the most obvious, there were six bottles of liquors, mostly flavored schnapps. All of it was poison, and all of it would go.
"Raizo, calm down, Jesus," Mika jumped away when a book was thrown over his shoulder as being in his way. "I only had two shots! It helped me fall asleep when I was -"
Turning on her, "Is there more Mika?"
Shaking her head, "No. That's what I've got in my liquor cabinet. Hey, dammit! That's my good stuff!" Mika snatched one of the bottles from him, holding it to her breast, "I like variety Raizo, I don't drink every day."
Nostrils flared, Raizo didn't believe her, he couldn't, "You have a problem."
Allowing her to keep the single bottle for the time being, he gathered the other offending pieces of glass up and took them to the kitchen. Each cap was unscrewed, almost torn off, necks snapping from the strength in his hands, and Raizo fought a gag at the way the vapors emanated from the drain as he dumped the contents.
"God Raizo, I was scared, I couldn't sleep, stop it will you?" Mika set her prize down, and reached out to touch him, but Raizo flinched back, ignoring her until his task was finished.
"This will not happen again Mika," hissing. Raizo was mad, he was so angry the corners of his vision were blurred. To think Mika would risk herself like this of all ways when he bled so much to keep her whole, "You will not put this in your body."
Eyes widened, face flushed, "Goddammit Raizo! You left, I didn't know when you would be back, I moved everything around for you, I made space for you, and I kept myself as busy as I could until you may come back. But you were gone for hours and I realized I didn't even know if you would be back. So I had a drink. Four ounces of brandy is barely anything, the first day of my period is when I drink usually Raizo. I have three, maybe four over the course of that day. All of those bottles are six months to a year old. You're overreacting, and you're being such a bastard!"
Like a bucket of freezing cold water, the word slammed into Raizo. Everything locked down, shoved into the back of his mind. Raizo straightened up, forcing his spine to resemble nothing so much as a steel bar.
"Go back to bed Mika," tone going monotonous, "now." Picking up the final bottle, Raizo dumped it out, "You will sleep, I will guard you, but I will not spend time in this place with you right now."
She must have sensed how far she had pushed him, for she stilled, stared at him, then did as he ordered, spinning on a foot then stomping to the bedroom. Leaving by way of the patio once more, Raizo climbed the wall carefully, finding few, but enough, toe and footholds to carry him to the roof. He only had a single floor to go past Mika's, easy climbing. Sitting down, Raizo had forgot how much words could hurt, how much that word in particular thrown at him in such a way could hurt. Pain wasn't just the body's weakness, but the mind's too. Below, Raizo could clearly hear Mika cursing, could hear her heart beating too fast, and then he could hear her throw herself onto the bed and cry.
All this over alcohol. Poison. It ruined everything it touched. Swallowing Raizo knew Mika hadn't meant it, it had been the alcohol talking. Alcohol was one of the worst, most abused toxins, it made women who were supposed to be mothers awful, it made men who were fathers beat and abandon their families. This was what Raizo had seen, some of it he had experienced. With firsthand knowledge Raizo knew, without a doubt that he had done the right thing to keep Mika safe.
The night was cool, and would have afforded better shadows for him to hide in if the builders hadn't believe so strongly in so many lights, there were barely enough for Raizo to use. As it was, Raizo had to wedge himself between two cylindrical vents where he could maintain a good view of the building and the surrounding street-alley mixture. It also positioned Raizo in such a way that two floors directly under him lay Mika. Raizo didn't bother trying to tell himself that this wasn't intentional. Eventually the curses and tears stopped, it didn't take long, over and done with in no more than ten minutes. Most of what Mika had said had to do with what a jerk he was, something Raizo could agree with if he ever felt like voicing his opinion, the rest of it was about how he was a stubborn asshole. Also, something Raizo could agree with. While not necessarily intentionally cruel, Raizo was viewed as that and far worse by society.
Attuning himself to his surroundings, Raizo felt thought slip away, giving him some respite. If anyone came for Mika tonight, and there was no guarantee they would, and none that they wouldn't, Raizo would be ready. Picking out the delicate cadence of Mika's heart from the many in the building, Raizo let that banish the last of his hurt at her hurled words. She hadn't meant them he hoped, prayed that it had only been the brandy speaking for her.
"Oh fuck it, whatever, can't sleep, may as well take care of this," then a drawer opened. A sudden low buzzing filled Mika's bedroom, causing Raizo to frown in uncertainty. What was she doing? She made a tiny gasp after a bottle was squeezed, the sound quiet but noticeable, "Dammit that's cold."
Slipping from his perch, Raizo stared down at the bedroom window, it's drawn curtains not leaking any light. Then she moaned, and more wet sounds were issued. Wondering what sort of trouble Mika was getting into now, Raizo climbed back down, dropping the last few feet and landing in a crouch. Laying a hand on the window, Raizo hesitated before entering, glad he hadn't locked it earlier – he didn't want to risk alerting Mika to his presence, unless he had to stop her from doing something dangerous.
Slinking forward, Raizo picked out from the darkness Mika's form on the bed, and his boxers were gone from Mika, but she still wore his shirt. Rather she was laying on the bed, legs splayed open, with a hand between them. Mouth going lax as soon as he realized what Mika was doing Raizo began to withdraw, until she muttered his name. Halting his flight, eyes locked on the space between his feet, crouched by the door, shoulder pressed to the door frame, morbid curiosity keeping him in place. Another moan, this one longer and throatier drew Raizo's gaze up, her second hand joining the first now. Something was being moved in and out of the hidden space between her thighs, the buzzing sound coming from it, and Mika was pushing it in and out faster.
Familiar with only how his own body worked, Raizo had only a very basic concept of 'woman' and it had not occurred to him that Mika may have the same needs in this regard that he did. With a quiet, last moan distorted version of his name on her lips, Mika ceased her self-touching, pulling something away from herself and yawning loudly. The thing was shoved to one side of the bed, and Mika tugged his shirt down her hips and wiggled under her covers, nestling close to the body-shaped pile of pillows. Quickly she was sound asleep, releasing Raizo from his paralysis. Licking his lips, Raizo crept closer, not exactly sure of what he was doing. Why had she said his name while she did that?
His irritation and anger had evaporated into the night, forgotten when presented with this strange puzzle. Able now to clearly make out what the device was she had been utilizing, Raizo started at it, perplexed. The nubs that jutted off of it made it look like a bizarre version of what was between his own legs, but it was the sticky musk on it that made it shimmer that befuddled Raizo even more. Stopping his hand before touching the object was an act of willpower, and with a determined set to his jaw Raizo went to the living room rather than go back outside. For no discernible reason Raizo couldn't bring himself to leave the confines of the apartment and the intense smell of Mika mingling with the faint one of himself on the shirt she wore. He wouldn't mention this to Mika, but he would stick closer. Raizo simply couldn't help it.
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ANP2: I promise from now on to return to a more normal length of notes, rather than the hugemongous one at the begining of this one. I know they're unweildy and probably annoying alot of the time, so I appologize. To everyone who'se reviewed so far, thanks so much, ya'll make my day.