AN: Hey, y'know when y'live with your mom n'stuff, usually your mom's the one who's all "Hey, clean the place," or starts doing things like cooking, the laundry, or stuff like that. Cuz, y'know, that's what moms do. Supposedly. At least that's what they show on TV, and what most people I know mom's do.
Mine? No.
So, I got back from Spain like... Wednesday, and do you know what I've been doing? Cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Steaming the tile floors, the walls, pressure washing the driveway and back porch, cleaning her car and my car, and the garage? Oh god, that one's gonna take awhile.... And doing dishes, so many dishes. Normal people don't own three full sets of plates with seatings for eight, plus silverware out the yinyang. We're not yuppies, we're not even quote 'true' middle class or anything. Okay so mom's a professor and has a consulting business (which is how I make a living, being her personal bitch/slave, and doing all the writing for her and research yaddayadda, if she actually hired someone to do it, she'd hafta pay them upwards of twenty-five thousand a year, I get less than ten... but hey it's a job,) and she's finally purchased a house. A house she doesn't take care of.
I was gone for three freakin' months. I get back and NOTHING has been done. No laundry, no dishes, nothing. Nothing at all. How anyone can live like that is appalling. I walked into the house, exhausted from twenty three hours of flying and sitting in airports, and I get hit with a wall of 'oh dear god,' basically. I will openly admit to being a slob, I even have been known to occasionally have a cup of half filled coffee that sits/hides somewhere for several weeks and grows some new coffee. So if I'm grossed out, trust me it's really bad. Far too much information I'm sure, but this is both cathartic bitching and explanation for why I haven't posted anything at all.
Not only that but over Xmas my aunt and uncle came to visit, and tore up my nice, girly and pristine rooms. Have I mentioned that mom owns a herd of dauchshounds? Yeah, four of the little fuckers. So come up with a scary picture, multiply it by two, and you have what I'm battling currently. Personally, I was so depressed by entering the house that I just wanted to cry. I was so tired, and I just didn't have energy to deal with anything. And yet I settled down and started cleaning. And mom has the balls to say to me "Oh it's not that bad, I'll get it later". Not that bad? Fuck! I'd like to know what she thought was bad? My end of the house, when I left, was supposed to be my sacred, untouchable, unruinable space. But my aunt and uncle saw to ruining it. Everything was rearranged, the dogs were let back in my area, etc. I love my mother, but I sure don't like her sometimes. I'm grateful to her for all her help and tolerance, but at the same time there's instances where I'd like nothing more than to put her in a spacepod and shoot it into the sun. Along with the rest of my family. And y'know what else? She gets after me for smelling like a smoker. She has no fuckin' right, not when I walk into a house that's a fuckin' health hazard! There are reasons why I don't have a personal life I think, and a big one is the fact that I can't ever bring anyone to my place, for shame, and also to prevent mom bitching at me for having guests. No matter how often I clean, I always feel like it's an uphill battle, and it's never appreciated. And being pierced, tattooed, hair colored, and degreeless means that me getting a job that isn't manual labor isn't easy, no matter how skilled I am, so I hafta stay and take this crap. And so I smoke, and I have a drink every now and then, and still she gets after me. While eating big macs and chicken nuggets, turning down good veggies etc when I cook, complaining about the smell of vinegar when I clean (I can't use bleach, and besides vinegar has the same exact effect without being damaging to the environment, or my sinuses), and forgetting to take her blood pressure medications. Sorry for the massively personal rant, but I had no one else to really tell, and ya'll work as a captive audience. But I wonder, is it actually fair for her to get after me for smoking four to ten cigarettes a day, and having two drinks on Fridays, while she doesn't take care of herself or her home? Blahness. Okay, rant done.
Basically, between cleaning and packing my room in Spain, and all those errands, the travel time from Spain to here, and then cleaning here – I haven't had any time to myself, or time to write. So I'm still stuck on chapter 18, while since I'm posting 11, that means I SHOULD be on chapter 22. Cuz that's how I roll n'all that. So, I'm posting 11, cuz it's been so long, but I warn ya, that it may be a couple days before I post 12, cuz tomorrow I'm driving to Longview which is 6hrs from here, to pick up a friend who's in need, and then driving back to here (San Antonio), which is another 6hrs. So I'll be fairly wrecked this week too, and have a house guest to boot. For all ya'lls patience, n'all that, thanks, and for reading my rant too. Needed to get that crap offa my chest.
XXX
Wake Up 11
XXX
Raizo watched as Mika drove off in the car that Euro-pol had given her as a replacement for the old one. In the trunk one of his suitcases rested, filled to the brim with far more than he personally felt was warranted. Then again, eyes sliding to Mika's apartment building, Raizo wasn't going to let her return to that place anytime soon, if ever.
Hailing a passing cab, Raizo told the driver to go in the opposite direction of his apartment. Plans spooled out, and five kilometers later, he switched cabs twice more, stopping at a hotel that asked few questions, and took his bags to the room. It stank of it's last occupants, no amount of bleach on linen could wash out the smell of piss and semen. Grungy gray walls, not exactly the height of luxury, rickety bed, and mildewed grout in the bathroom – it would do for now as a starting point.
Raking a hand through his hair, Raizo questioned his sanity. He could have allowed Mika to stay in her apartment, but then he would only be able to watch from afar. On the pro side of it, there would have been more established back up available than simply himself. But no, Mika had made it clear that she didn't want to be parted from him, and that left Raizo little option but to move her. Sitting on the musty, cracked velor upholstered chair, Raizo hung his head, wrapping his hands around the back of his neck. If he had been smart, he would have told Mika to go to Maslow's home, that way Raizo would have been able to have the two of them in one place. With both acting as bait, Raizo was sure the clans would reveal more of their hand, striking when they could hit two for the price of one. And Raizo would be there of course to cancel out the threats, and extract much needed information.
Ninja were notoriously hard to break, but Raizo has done it before. With proper application of torture anyone would eventually shatter. And Raizo was very good at it when he had to be. No, a part of why Raizo acquiesced to Mika's wish to be close to him, was the fact that he wanted more of those touches. At least, from her. To hear Mika's special heart, or to smell the warm perfume of too many chemicals that for some reason weren't so bad when slathered all over her skin. Hissing, shaking his head, Raizo glowered at the floor as though the threadbare brown carpet offended him mortally. What had he been thinking? It was simply too late to change the course of his actions, Raizo would have to accept it and any attendant consequences.
After he retrieved Mika, he would have her rest, then take her to his apartment. That meant that he had to obtain a vehicle now. Theft brought unwanted attention, but it was generally not as fast as making a large purchase and paying in cash. Plus theft also meant no long waiting as a fake I.D. was scanned, then recorded. It meant another trip, one farther afield than he had already gone, and Raizo hoped Mika had been smart enough to check into whatever hotel she had chosen to leave her car at. She had a long wait ahead of her before he could go to get her.
With that decision made, Raizo left the hotel picking a random direction. Careful to blend with his surroundings, appearing as nothing more than an average twenty-something out for a walk, Raizo spotted a likely car, a late nineties Volvo. Looked like someone's mom's car. Perfect. And the locks were electric, even better. From a hidden inner pocket of his jacket Raizo pulled a master key, a specialized electronic remote that would open any standard car door that didn't have manual locks. With the side benefit of disarming most alarms as well. It had been painfully expensive, and Raizo had already lost several of them in his years outside of the Ozunu, but they were too useful for him to not keep one on hand. Pulling on a pair of thin gloves before touching the door handle, not wanting to leave any fingerprints behind, Raizo pressed the second button while holding the device to the ignition.
With a soft purr the Volvo started. Sliding the gear into reverse, carefully he backed out, while rolling the windows down. Taking a circuitous, indirect route back to Mika's apartment building, Raizo caught the tantalizing smell of Mika when he was halfway back to her place. Good she had left her own windows down, that made this much easier. It was fortuitous in the extreme, but Raizo wouldn't question it as it was helpful.
Deftly weaving through traffic, Raizo scoped out the hotel Mika had picked. Hotel Palace Berlin, was a hulking white mammoth, fully equipped with stores even by all appearances. Avoiding the valet parking, Raizo exited his pilfered car, locking it down. Casually entering the Palace Berlin, he followed Mika's now much stronger perfume. He found her in the restaurant, eating a large meal. Relieved, Raizo traced her scent up to a room and overrode the electronic controls again using the master key. It had proved it's worth time and again in this day and age of computer locks, so much so that Raizo was almost glad that they were so hard to obtain as only a handful of people were savvy enough to make them. Something like this didn't belong in the hands of common thieves or field agents. At least Raizo had easy access to the original designer of the black market device.
Settling in for a wait, he sat on one of the too comfortable chairs.
XXX
More than three hours later Mika was at the door finally. Some sort of herbal dirt and oil and chemicals hung off of her like a coat, indicating that she had availed herself of whatever spa facilities that were on offer. Hopefully she had enjoyed herself, for no such niceties would be available at their next stop.
"You ate well?" watching as she jumped, the smallest flinch.
"Absolutely stuffed, don't think I could eat another bite," Mika stood there, fidgeting. "What took you so long?"
Not answering, "Have you called Maslow?"
Making a face, "No."
"Then do so, tell him where you are, and that this is where you shall be," picking up the receiver and holding it out.
She almost balked, Raizo could see it, but then did as he said with no fuss, "Okay." Rapidly her fingers picked out keys, tapping them down, "Maslow? Yes, I'm calling, just like you asked."
"...So, you pick a sufficiently swanky place?"
"Oh yeah," head bobbing as she stared up at him, "I'm at the Hotel Palace Berlin. The restaurant serves some decent food. Even went to the spa, got a massage and my hair done."
"...How long will you be there?"
Delicately, measuring, Mika tip-toed around the truth, "I'm booked for a week."
Raizo found it interesting that Mika didn't simply lie, most people usually did. In fact whenever she did so, her body language changed, shifting to obviously extreme discomfort. Was it possible that lying hurt Mika? That was curious indeed. Even skirting the facts appeared to bother her. Very strange, in Raizo's experience most people simply told untruths whenever it suited them, and when they did tell the truth, it was usually twisted to meet their needs. Mika was good enough at being vague, but beyond that she came off as angry and hurt when she spit a falsehood out. For that, Raizo hoped that Maslow didn't notice, or that if he did, he would chalk it up to Mika being upset.
"...Wonderful. Call me tomorrow, check in, and we'll do lunch."
"Ryan, I'm alright, honest," twisting the phone cord around a finger, Raizo did what he had earlier upon her wordless request, but this time on his own, and took her hand in his. The action caused Mika to relax, the muscles of her face easing, "Just a little jumpy. You don't have to do that."
"...Of course I do Mika, so, let's say around two I'll pick you up?"
"That, that sounds good Ryan," more tip-toeing. It was rather admirable.
"...Alright then, you get some rest."
"Bye."
Mika's heart was going quicker than Raizo felt was wise, so he sought to sooth her some, "Very good Mika."
"What now?" wide brown eyes holding his, expectant worry heavy in them.
"Now I will take your things to my car, it is a beige Volvo, and you will go for a walk around the block to digest your dinner. I will pick you up in the vehicle."
"And then?" trepidation radiating outwards in ripples.
Clearly Mika needed more than to just hold his hand, so Raizo tugged her close, "And then we go to the place I have chosen for tonight." Forestalling further questions, "After that we will pass by my building. And after that, we run."
There, he had said it.
Flabbergasted, Mika's jaw dropped, and she pushed away from him enough to see him,"We, we run?"
"We run," nodding the affirmative, not willing to give much more away. "Leave your cell phone here. You won't be needing it."
"Raizo, what about the clans, we can't just up and leave and -" shivering.
Wrapping his arms around her, pressing her head into his chest like she had done to him so many times, "I will take care of it."
"Please tell me you have a plan," her fingers were like clamps where they dug into his sides.
"Of course," giving her a firm squeeze.
But would his plan work? It had to.
The fingers on the back of his neck clued Raizo in to what Mika was going to do. Licking his lips expectantly, Raizo waited, frozen in place. Somehow the strange kissing thing had gone from uncomfortable, slightly repugnant and scary, to something he was willing to allow. Mika could do just about anything she wanted to him, and Raizo would let her. No matter the discomfort, even fear or pain that Mika could cause with these touches, Raizo knew he deserved the bad parts, and not the good. He had proof in his arms, trembling, the anxiety and the torment that rolled off of Mika and how he, her supposed protector, was smashing the last shreds of her normal life when there were other options. So, he deserved it, deserved the sickening flop in his stomach that came, while he waited with nervous anticipation.
Except - it didn't come.
Opening eyes Raizo hadn't noticed he'd closed to Mika examining him. Still the nape of his neck was being caressed, exactly the way it had been when Mika had kissed him before, fingers partially twisted in his hair, moving, rubbing his scalp. Like a new, alien torture Mika continued, that was quickly coupled with the tracing of his cheekbones, brows and nose.
She sniffled, but was otherwise free of tears, "I'm sorry Raizo, I know this makes you uncomfortable, forgive me? But, but may I....?"
Holding her gaze, Raizo leaned down, feeling like a deer stuck in the high beams of an oncoming semi-truck. He had done this on his own before, it wasn't so bad, yet it really was uncomfortable. A riot of information would assault Raizo, foreign stimulation overwhelming his highly developed senses in a flood. Glad that Mika met him half-way, Raizo couldn't do more than that, he couldn't nod, he couldn't say yes, he could only dip his face closer to hers.
Just before her mouth came to his, "You don't have to Raizo."
Raizo felt he did though, because Mika needed it because touch, so much touch, comforted her. It didn't comfort him, it hurt Raizo, made his skin too hot, made it ache until he wanted to grab his flesh and remove it like it were simply just a set of clothes. Yet Raizo craved it. Pushing himself to go the last distance, Raizo kissed Mika, bracing for when Mika would pull his tongue into her mouth. When she made no move to do so, Raizo did it for her, licking at the seam of her lips, which parted willingly with a small sigh that came from her nose. Heart pounding, Raizo clamped down on it, struggling to regulate the pulse while going further. She had licked his tongue before, a move he mimicked with some worry, until Mika did the same.
The world outside of Mika clutched tightly to his body, of her hot, wet mouth under his, faded away. A cold sweat beaded all over Raizo, the only warmth was where Mika touched him. More than just his heart and temperature were affected, but Raizo's flesh as well stirred, creating a tightness in his belly and groin. Parting with a rough groan, Raizo pressed his forehead to Mika's, panting. He had gone farther than he should, and now was paying the price, rebellious body telling him what to do, along with Mika's nuzzling of his face with hers. Buckling far too willingly under the demand his body was giving him, Raizo returned to Mika's mouth, plundering it with force. It was Mika who broke away next, murmuring his name while her lips went to the corner of his jaw sucking a line down the tendons of his neck.
Struggling for air, Raizo hissed when Mika bit his earlobe then licked it. Hot, he was too hot, and then he was cold while the cycle started all over again. Palms itching, Raizo allowed them to wander over Mika's back and hips, which soothed the sensation, but would start up as soon as he stopped stroking her. Whimpering, Raizo needed nothing more than to lay down, to roll around, to do something of which he wasn't sure. So long as Mika remained in his arms while he did whatever it was that would stop the blasted heat and shakes. Locking Mika tight to him one hand on her rump the other flat between her shoulder-blades, Raizo lifted her from the floor only thinking to not let go any time soon. Racked with fiery spasms, Raizo bit his tongue, tucking his face into Mika's neck while her legs scrambled to go around his waist. Shock and surprise brought Raizo to his knees figuratively and physically, catching himself at the last moment in the fall one handed, still supporting Mika.
Blood filled his mouth, then dribbled down his chin, but the taste of copper was distant. That soft, moist, hot part of Mika was tight against the hardness in his jeans. Mika was wrapped around him, hanging from his shoulders and hips, head tipped back eyes closed, her chest heaving. Several times she began to arch against him, rubbing scintillating insanity against his crotch, but would stop almost as soon as she started. Forgetting about the blood, Raizo dipped to kiss Mika's throat, followed quickly by her mouth, crazily hoping she would continue and rub him with her body.
Jerking in his embrace, "Raizo?" Mika yanked his head from her, pulling him back far enough to look at him, "Oh god you're bleeding Raizo."
Swallowing the blood, wiping his chin, "It's nothing."
"This," pushing him so that he rocked back on his heels, sitting in his lap, then gathering a drop of blood from his lips, "is not 'nothing'. Let me see," tugging on his chin.
Obeying, Raizo was shocked by the way he had acted. And the fact that Mika accepted it. Welcomed it even, wanted it.
"Stick that tongue out mister, let me get a look," wiggling his head side to the side, using his chin. Doing as ordered, Mika cursed, a habit that Raizo thought strange for an educated, genteel woman, but was just part of how she was, "Fuck, Raizo, you bit almost clear through your tongue."
Allowing the muscle to return to where it belonged, "It is nothing Mika."
She frowned, then kissed the corner of his mouth, "It hurts me when you hurt Raizo."
"It does not hurt," it didn't, not really, it was an easy pain to disregard as non-existent, "So you do not have to hurt."
She made a little growly noise, raised herself up on her knees, so that his face was level with her chest, pulling him to her, "Stop being so stupidly male." A sharp jab of one of her long fingers poking him on the top of his shoulder, "And I'll stop being so stupidly girly. But," rubbing his cheek over the cloth covered breast, listening to the soothing beat, enveloped in Mika's warmth, "you always make me feel so safe when you touch me Raizo. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't ask you for it so much. It's too hard on you."
"You're human Mika," something peaked was poking through Mika's shirt, through the layer of the contraption that held her small breasts in place, where his cheek lay.
"Mph, and so are you, it would make life a little easier if you could realize that," the statement held no heat, and she was stroking him again, that soft way that made Raizo forget that there was a world outside of this space. "Or at least if not easier, then maybe it would make your life a little happier."
Make his life happy? Raizo hadn't ever thought of that. Life was not a happy thing, not in his world. In Mika's, yes, happiness was there for some, mostly the ignorant or the kindly naive, not for most. Such a strange concept, 'happiness', Raizo knew the definition, understood the idea behind it, but had never experienced it. At least, not beyond the sound of Mika's heartbeat, the feel of her skin so pliant under his face. It was far more than Raizo ever thought to be given, so he would take it, and any strife it could bring. He was no fool, he knew Mika was smart enough to eventually figure out that he was being selfish, that he was a murderer, that she shouldn't bestow such gentleness upon him. Until that time, he would accept, and when Mika came to her senses, he would stand silent guard from whatever distance he could manage until his life was forfeit.
Carefully helping Mika get to her feet, "It is time Mika. We must go."