A/N : graphic sex, don't like don't read (it won't always be this way so better take it as it passes ;P)
xXxx
It's not like I made myself a list
Of new and different ways to murder your heart
I'm just a painting that's still wet,
If you touch me I'll be smeared
You'll be stained
Stained for the rest of your life
So turn around, walk away
Before you confuse the way we abuse each other
If you're not afraid of getting hurt
Then I'm not afraid of how much I hurt you
I'm well aware I'm a danger to myself
Are you aware I'm a danger to others?
There's a crack in my soul
You thought was a smile
~M. Manson, Leave a Scar~
-x-
A wet gust of air goes through my body. I shiver and sneeze. It is sure enough that I have gotten a cold by spending so much time in this far too humid cell on this soggy earth ground.
Damn it, I thought that if I didn't finish this year alive, it would at least be by losing life in battle, not by catching pneumonia in the Malfoy household. I hit my head against the mucky wall…1….2…3.
Am I ever going to get out of here?
I'd like to just go mental and don't feel despair anymore. 1…2…3
I used to enjoy having moments to myself before, to think about life, my future, anything. Here I am quite alone, but the time I have to think is useless. It just drives me crazy.
And again…1…2…3. I want to go numb from the pain. It's better than feeling nothing.
"Well, well, Granger."
I slowly look up to see my captor hovering over me, arms crossed, heavy-lidded eyes half-closed in concentration.
"Is this really how you use up your time? If you feel like turning the hate back on yourself, might as well go all the way, take this piece of broken glass and slice it through your delicate maiden skin. That's how I did it when I was in Azkaban. Cut to get through." She smirks.
"Oh, are you bringing back up your old cherished memories, Lestrange, or do you just want someone to feel sorry for you?" I ask in a mock-interested voice.
Lestrange shrugs and her smirk widens. She is calm, too calm, I don't like it.
"I am just giving a free piece of advice to you, coming from someone experienced, you know?"
"You can bloody well keep your recommendations for yourself…"
"I don't understand you, girl. You cry for the whole week like a child in arms because you feel lonely – she accentuates the word with a fake sob – and when I graciously come to visit you, you do everything to put me off."
"That's because I much prefer no company at all then yours." I say assertively. She doesn't seem to want to pick up my insult.
"And how do you know anything about my feelings? – I continue- Have you been watching my every movement? Shouldn't you be actually doing something useful for your cause?"
"I… We are doing plenty. You wouldn't actually believe the progress we made if you saw it with your own eyes. You've been away from the world for a little over two weeks, right Granger? Well in that time, enough has changed in our favour that you wouldn't even recognize the way of life you're used too." Her eyes glint madly with her dogmatic flame.
"I know why you're saying 'we'. It's because you have actually done nothing. You can't be seen anywhere in the daylight because everyone knows the viper you are. You're stuck here and you just spend your days waiting for the epiphany you know, deep down, will never come. You're pathetic."
She grips her wand tighter, so tight it appears like she's bending it. I can feel she wants to punish me for my impertinence, but something holds her back. I have no idea what; I certainly did enough to prompt this kind of reaction from her. I'm dumbfounded.
She suddenly slides her wand back into her pocket and stalks near me instead. She grabs the front of my soiled dress and single-handedly, with imposing force, pushes me up against the wall. Before I get the time to catch my spirits, her mouth is at my neck biting softly into the fragile flesh. She feverishly tweaks one of my nipples over the smooth fabric of my dress. I gasp, a mix from pleasure and pain. Her dark eyes shoot up to meet mine, and suddenly she draws back, ashamed or bewildered, I don't know. Even in her most passionate state, she's controlled, and just now, she was completely abandoned. She is visibly stunned to detect this new trait in herself.
Her hands fall on the sides of her body, she looks at the floor, seemingly in interrogation. She then shakes her head and notices I am watching her closely. She looks suddenly embarrassed that I witnessed her odd behaviour. I feel strangely bad for her and I attempt to dismiss the malaise her attitude created.
"May I… may I take a shower please?" My voice has lost its aggressiveness and I try to show humility, to please her.
"Yes…" She answers quietly, her eyes almost thankful for my change of subject.
"Follow me." She motions towards the stone stairs.
I gather the sides of my dress around me and follow in her footsteps. The destination is the same as the week before: the no-window, cleared of objects bathroom I used the other day. She leaves me alone as soon as we get to the door; she seems in a hurry to go away. Half an hour later, I hear a knock on the door. I quickly step out of the water, pull on the drain and wrap a towel around me before saying: "Come in." I quickly fix my wet hair as much as I can before waiting for the door to turn on its hinges.
Bellatrix wears a deep v-cut velvet and lace black dress, a corset hugs her waist and goes down from bellow her breasts to cover her abdomen. Her ringlets of dark hair are untamed and wild, as ever, and her smirk is tinted plum. I instantly see that she is back to herself again, it makes me smile, almost.
"Had a nice bath? Of course it would take more than one to wash the filthy wench you are but…"
I cut her off. "I'm almost relieved to see you're back to normal."
"So you do like me in some way, I understand."
Our conversation is almost a friendly banter. I wouldn't have believed it if I had been told merely a week ago that I would be able to feel at least vaguely comfortable in the presence of the deranged (maybe not so much) Bellatrix Lestrange, but now we seem almost at ease with each other, in a weird, undeclared sort of way.
"I think it's only that you scare me much less when you're your usual, moody self."
She wants to look offended but she doesn't quite manage to. She's smiling through her grimace.
"I think you're becoming a little too snug with me, little girl. I'll have to drill some discipline into you."
I smile. Somehow the thought doesn't seem so awful now that she quit her habitude of crucioing me.
"Yes, maybe I need it." I wink at her. I'm becoming a totally different person than I was with her before, I'm not sure how to explain it, but somehow, someway, she has touched my heart.
"Would you like to go for a walk outside?" The proposal is so nice and innocent that it looks out of place, coming from her mouth.
My eyes widen in surprise, but also delight.
"Really? I would appreciate it so much. I terribly miss the daylight."
She nods and gives me a fresh pair of jeans, a tank-top and a jacket. She has the courtesy to turn her back to me while I get dressed.
"Very well. Come." She says softly. She takes my arm but not as harshly as she had done other times, it's firm but painless.
We walk down the main corridor and turn left. A door beside the staircase shows a path leading to the garden. We walk on the green grass and I breathe in deeply. It feels so good being outdoors. I had not realised how much I had missed the large expanses of forest and the wildlife I had been surrounded with when I was with my two friends. Smelling the fresh air had become second nature to me and it feels like I have come home again. The autumnal wind is cool, without being unpleasant.
Bellatrix has let go of my arm and I am amazed at her trust in me. It's true I don't have a wand and my chances of escaping, even here, are slim, but knowing how she usually is, it represents a lot.
We stroll until we arrive at the far side of the field, and can touch the leaves of the large tidy hedge. Wind catches in my curls and Bellatrix pulls a strand of chestnut hair behind my ear. We walk back, taking the long turn around the whole grounds, and arrive near to the brick wall on the left side of the mansion.
Our gazes lock and it's as if we both know we want the same thing. I come nearer, she does too, and to my own surprise, I am the one who makes the first step. I put a hand around her neck and kiss her, tentatively at first, then with assurance. She moans (it's the first time I hear such a sweet sound coming from her) and nibbles on my bottom lip.
She is the best kisser I ever came across. I don't have that much experience, but for having snogged at least two other people in my life, I can compare, and she's undoubtedly the best. Her hands trail down my back and on my sides, halting at my hips and squeezing them. One of her hand travels down my bun possessively. I keep my hands safely on the frame of her shoulders, not sure if she feels like being groped.
She leans into me and whispers into my ear. "Do you want me to do the things I told you the other night?" She is smiling. The question is not that direct but it brings a blush to my cheeks. I feel grateful that she is asking for my agreement, for once. "Maybe some of them, yes."
"Which ones?" She breathes hotly into my ear, sending shivers of anticipation running up and down my spine. Her full breasts are pushing into my own smaller ones. "Tell me… exactly…exactly what you want me to do to you." Her black eyes are shining with warmth and arousal. I feel like I am drowning in them when I look for too long.
"Touch me…" I say in a still timid, low voice.
"Wheeeere?" Her voice is inviting and sultry, it's the definition of eroticism.
"Hmmm. Here." I manage to say even though my brain lacks more and more in sense the more I listen to her. I take hold of her hand and bring it near the apex of my thighs. She groans in excitement. And kisses me, her tongue is intoxicating and I feel I could die if she let go. She presses her palm into me, over my jeans, and I need to support myself by holding her neck.
I bend my head back as she sucks on my pulse point. The pressure of her hand into me is making me quiver and heat up. I roll my hips instinctively, needing more. She pushes her index finger into my mouth while she unbuttons my jacket with her other hand. I suck on the finger greedily. She likes the submission she is getting from me and moans again.
"Good girl." She says into my ear and sucks on my earlobe. "Aaah." I moan when she discovers this new erogenous zone. She is sliding the jacket down my arms and it falls on the ground without a sound. She puts her hands on my buttocks again and plays with them. She is driving me mad from lust. "Please." I mutter, my mind hazy. "Please, Bella."
She seems to approve of the nickname as she squeezes one of my breasts over my tank-top.
"Please… what?" She is so beautiful when she makes me beg like that, and I can't help but liking the feeling of need she is raising in me. "Please fuck me."
"Wanton slut. I love when you say that word." She trails her fingers on the side of my face and over my mouth. "Say it again."
"Please, Bella, fuck me."
"Mmm, as you wish." Time for dirty talk has passed when she quickly rolls down my jeans and throws them away. Fresh air hits my burning thighs. The contrast of temperature turns me on even more. I breathe in the exotic prune scent of my lover's hair as she pulls my tank-top over my head.
"I can see skin -she says- it's much better." She drops kisses on my ribs, it's a tickling and arousing sensation, and licks my belly button. She is skilled, very skilled. Her head lifts up to face my nipples and she engulfs one into her mouth, sucking on it avidly. She licks her way to the other and teases it with her tongue. The want overcomes my entire body and I don't think I will last very long if she doesn't cut the foreplay.
Luckily she had the same inspiration and while I press myself tightly against the cold brick wall, loving the feeling on my aflame back, she dips two fingers inside the edge of my panties. She slowly grazes over my swollen folds and that's how I actually discover how wet I am. Her fingers are covered in my love liquids and she smears them over my lips. "Taste yourself."
I do so and she cleans the fingers in her own mouth afterwards. She positions herself at my entrance, spreads my lips softly and finally pushes inside. The sensation in my core surpasses the feelings of elation in my brain. I mouth an "O" sound as Bella starts moving inside me. It is the best thing I've ever felt. There is no pain as she gradually makes place for a third finger and slides in and out at a steady, fast rhythm.
My voice is a blur of moans that she covers by deeply kissing me. As she penetrates my mouth with her tongue and my center with her fingers, I feel complete. It's when she brings her thumb down on my bud that I finally climax, releasing all my juices. She keeps stroking me until I come down from the high, and finally withdraws. That's when I collapse on the ground in a heap. My vision is unstable and my whole body glows.
It takes a few more minutes before I can breathe normally again. Bella kisses the top of my hair and rests her head close to mine. "You're crying." She says worriedly as she wipes a single tear off my cheek. "Happy tears." I answer, smiling up at her. She kisses my cheek.
"Bella?" I ask, waiting for her attention.
"Yes, Hermione?"
"It was true what you said. This was better than I could ever have imagined."
xXxxx
Virtual Christmas tree shaped cookies for reviewers ;)