"You're a teacher and you work under Tsunade and you didn't get inoculated?" Kakashi knelt next to Iruka, holding his hair back and wearing his partner's discarded reindeer antler headband. "For shame, Iruka-sensei."
"I'm telling you, it's food poisoning," the teacher's tired, hoarse voice echoed in the toilet bowl.
"Are you firing from both ends?"
Iruka lifted his heavy head from it's resting place on the toilet seat, "Excuse me?"
"Are you," Kakashi made a bizarrely rude gesture by wiggling the fingers of one hand near his mouth and the fingers of the other hand near his ass, "firing from both ends?"
"What?" He frowned in feverish consternation. "No."
"Then I'm pretty sure it's the flu and not food poisoning."
"It's always on holidays." Iruka punctuated this assessment by dry heaving. He panted through the dizziness and nausea, "Why do I always get the flu on holiday?"
"Let's say it's because your body knows when I'll be around to take care of you. Think everything's come up now?" Iruka nodded while Kakashi kissed his forehead and tied his hair back in a loose bun. "How about a bath to cool you off and some fluids and then I'll tuck you in?"
"Yes, please." Kakashi folded Iruka and lifted him easily. Iruka insisted, "I can get up on my own."
"No, no. It's more fun for me this way. It's like having a great, big, warm doll to do as I please with."
"You're demented," Iruka knotted a fist in his hair but was too exhausted to pull.
Kakashi laughed, "Don't try to pretend you don't enjoy it."
Iruka could find no response. Kakashi had him there.