Enjoy!

I knew I should go after her. I was so mad, oh, I was mad, but I wasn't stupid. Behind all my rage, I knew, deep down, that this was all very, very wrong, and I should go after her before she gets any farther than my porch step.

But I let her go, and it took me about an hour after to fully feel the deep, painful regret at what I'd just done. I put my head in my hands and tore my fingers through my hair, as if making chunks of hair come out of my head would magically solve everything. Go after her, dumbass. My brain told me. Ugh. I was so stupid. Of course.

But…how would I find her?

I had no idea where she would go.

I had no idea where she hung out when she was sad.

I had no idea anything about her.

I closed my eyes tight, the pain of the worry of the fear that something had happened to her washing over me. I felt helpless; like I would if I were watching Bella cut herself and could do nothing about it.

Like Bella would if I cut myself and she could do nothing about it.

Like I did.

Damn, I was an idiot.

I took the bag of razors I bought and threw them out, feeling shameful about the whole thing. If Bella feels that horrible about herself, then confronting her like that was not the way to do it. I should've talked to her and let her know I cared and was there for her. Instead I freaked her out. She looked terrified. And then she was just angry. The way she yelled at me swam inside my brain and burned me.

I had to find her.

But how? Bella could be well on her way to Port Angeles right now.

I went into her room, looking around for anything that might give me a clue as to where she would go. But I was wasting my time; the only items Bella had were the thing I'd bought for her. It never occurred to me that she had an apartment that she needed to take care of. She could've had a job, a life, and I just whisked her away from all of that. The self-hate was growing now, and I considered it best that I just left Bella alone so she could get back to her life.

But her kiss…that had to mean something, right? In college I'd taken a psychology class, and we'd learned that people who were depressed simply didn't have the capacity to love. Everything was overcome by the shadow of sadness that was depression, and nothing mattered.

I sat on her bed, sighing. I was going in circles in my head, and none of this was getting Bella any closer to safety. I resolved to get out of her life only after I found her and made sure she was safe and wasn't wandering off.

I looked out the window. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky a golden color. The sun shone through the window, and something shone off of it, into my eyes. I squinted at the brightness and got up, walking closer to inspect what it was. I gasped. A cell phone.

Bingo.

Picking it up, I inspected it, crinkling my nose. It was beaten up, probably getting banged up due to its clumsy owner. It was a small, cheap, pay-as-you-go phone. Oh, that wouldn't do at all. I know I promised to stay out of her life, but before that I at least needed to buy her a phone.

I powered it on; the background was the generic default that the phone had come with. Didn't she have pictures? Even though I felt like I was intruding, my curiosity got the best of me, and I went to her pictures. None. She didn't have any pictures of her family? I know my phone was littered with pictures of Alice and my other brother Emmet, and their spouses Jasper and Rosalie. It was a little strange, but I figured she didn't care much for pictures and went on with what I was going to do.

I went to the contacts and scrolled to the D's. Huh, that was strange, no "Dad". I scrolled to the F's. No "Father" either. Lastly, I scrolled to the M's. No "Mom" or "Mother". Why wouldn't her parents be in her contacts? Maybe they didn't have phones. It took a lot of convincing for Mom and Dad to get phones, they were stuck in the past. Sometimes it seemed like they were from another century.

Going with Plan B, I simply tried the first contacts on the list. "Angela".

She answered on the second ring, "Bella?" Her voice was soft, yet surprised. Had I made a mistake calling her?

"Uhm, no.." I said, awkwardly "My name is Edward, Bella's…" I hesitated, "…friend. S-she kind of, ran off…and I'm worried about her. Do you know where she hangs out, or where she might go?"

There was a pause on the phone, and I thought she'd hung up, until I heard her voice again, this time wary, and uncertain "Erm…the only place I know she might hang out is the park in back of the elementary school…" She said. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least the was something?

"Thank you," I whispered, balancing the phone between my shoulder and cheek while I slid on my jacket and got my keys.

"No trouble…" Angela trailed off, and I suspected she wanted to say something else. I paused before hanging up, allowing her to say whatever she was going to. "Is Bella doing okay…?"

I was taken aback by the question, but realized that she was just a concerned friend "Yes..s-she's…allright…" I sputtered, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh! Well, ever since the incident, she hasn't been the same-" She trailed off again, and I blinked.

"Wait, incident?" I asked, furrowing a brow as I realized another flaw of our ''relationship''. I knew nothing about her past.

Angela seemed to have been embarrassed by what she'd said, "I-I've said too much already! It's one of those things, erm…Edward. Not my story to tell, something that you should only hear from her." I was about to object, but she cut me off "Tell her to call me, okay? I miss her. I hope you find her, Edward." I told her to wait, but she'd hung up. What incident? I closed my eyes, feeling stupid for getting so hormonal and coming onto her when I knew nothing about her.

That aside, I focused on the task at hand, because I couldn't get to know her if I didn't find her first. I slid into my silver Volvo and drove off, remembering where the playground was from when I went there myself. The car ride dragged on and on, even though I was going a steady 70 miles an hour.

Though I could not forgive myself for what I'd done to Bella, I couldn't take the sight of what I'd seen away. No, it burned my memory with its very presence, and it wouldn't go away, no matter how much I willed it to. And the morning started out so great.

I woke up not just feeling refreshed, but I felt fucking good. Bella had kissed me. And while I didn't really know where things were going to go from here, I still had the memory of her soft lips pressed against mine. She smiled when she was kissing, and it was so adorable. But I couldn't take advantage of her, so I broke it off before anything got too bad. I smiled, running a hand through my copper hair as I remembered the previous night's events.

It was early, I knew that much by the fact that the sun was just barely waking up itself.

Bella stirred, nestling her head into me. I watched her as she slept, and revered in the sight, for it was one of the most amazing sights I'd ever seen. Bella looked almost happy in her sleep, no longer was there the sad fog that misted her expressions, or the frown that was most prominent. No, she looked peaceful. Which meant she wasn't having any nightmares. Good. This was all good.

Her hand twitched, and my eyes subconsciously were drawn to the movement. Her fingers were slender and the creamiest shade of ivory. Her sleeve had been pushed up when she was sleeping, revealing her creamy white skin, which contrasted sharply against the red scars on her…. wait, what?

I unrolled her sleeve a little more, very carefully, to confirm my suspicions. There, in a neat little line, were a row of cuts, some must've been so deep because of the large scars they left, and some were fresh. She'd been cutting herself here, in my home. My eyes closed and I took a deep breath to calm myself, worry and anger washing through me at the same time. I thought I might be sick. And she just…she just pretended like nothing was wrong! My anger was boiling up. I thought Bella was smart, sensible. Sure, she might be depressed, but still, she wouldn't do something that stupid, would she? Apparently I thought too much of her.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes at a red light. I overreacted, and she didn't even know why. I needed to tell her why. Then maybe she might understand. Sweet, sweet Bella.

Please be there Bella, I need you…please…

My car came to an abrupt halt as I reached the elementary school. It was an old-fashioned firebrick building. It was small, but I remembered thinking it was enormous when I was little. I tried to find a way to get to the playground, but the gates were locked. I looked at the ten-foot chain link fence.

Screw fences, I need to find her.

It was too easy to climb up the fence; it was getting down that was tricky. I misjudged the height that I jumped to the concrete ground. It was a little too high and my foot landed in a weird angle. I winced as a sharp pain shot up my leg, but I ignored it, only focusing on the task at hand. Screw my ankle, screw everything and everyone on the whole fucking world! I was growing more frustrated with myself. What if she wasn't there? I had no idea where else she might be. My screw up might have lost her forever.

I paced towards the playground, aggravated at the slight limp I now had, but all of that melted when I saw a familiar brown-haired angel sitting on the creaky, old swing.

Thank you, Angela.

I'm in Vegas, betches.

Hahaha, so yeah, I'm in the city that never sleeps, not sleeping so I can get this chapter out to you. Oh yeah. Feel guilty.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'll have another update up before the 5th, but if I don't, then there won't be one until the end of July. I'll be without internet during that time... *cry*

I'm looking into this whole Beta-ing business. Looks cool, and I'd love to be a Beta, but not until I finish some of my other stories. I've already thought of another multi-chap fic idea, but I forced myself not to write it until I'm done with this story. And we've still got a long way with this story, my friends. :)

Also, check out my other story, Uncurables. If you love a nice, mentally unstable, angsty, hot mess, then that's your story! :)

I don't think I have anything else to say, other than the bathroom in this hotel has a TV and a Phone. I mean...damn.

Reviews reduce Edward's self-loathing, and ankle boo-boos. x)