Chapter 8:
The call came early in the day, and after a short but profound conversation, Sookie felt certain in the next week, she would die.
Quietly, she contemplated this on a walk through the graveyard across the way, morning dew still clinging to the grass, winking like carelessly dropped diamonds in the morning sunlight.
Once, what seemed like a lifetime ago now, she'd told Eric she would have rather died, than accept a bond to him.
At the time, she'd meant it, whole heartedly.
Death always hovered a very real possibility in her consciousness, but never before had it seemed so very inevitable.
So absolutely certain, on the wings of her next assignment.
Yes, she'd been on sabbatical, but recent events led to exception.
For all practical purposes, her C.O. asked her to commit suicide, and they both knew it.
Yet, there was nothing either of them could do. Hands were tied, and fates were signed.
Duty loomed on the horizon.
Sookie knelt before her grandmother's grave, the dew soaking into the knees of her jeans, hands folded in her lap. "Well Gran, this life's been quite a ride," she said softly. Sookie lifted her face to a breeze flowing across the field, taking a moment to listen to the songbirds, before continuing, "Ever since you died, I have stewed in my own rage at the world. For years I've been boiling alive, and didn't even know it. I'm tired, Gran. My soul is tired of blood and gore and hate and killing. But now…"
She thought of Eric, the full circle they'd traveled. She'd held him at arm's length so adamantly, but slowly, very slowly, her resolve was bending. Somehow, he'd slipped under her skin without the vampire slayer quite knowing when.
"Now, for the first time in ages, I might actually have something worth living for. But it doesn't look like that sort of happiness is in the cards for me. I can't back out from this one. Too many people are counting on me. Innocent people."
She sighed heavily, some weight upon her heart releasing with it, replaced by the dull ache of acceptance.
"I don't want to be a hero anymore," she whispered honestly. "For once, I just want someone else to handle it. I want to sit back, and not have to be the one who bleeds. But it's just not an option."
Sookie sat in the stillness of the morning for more than an hour, and slowly a steady calm anchored itself within her core. This was the life she'd chosen, and she'd had a good run. But now, she'd reached her endgame.
Playing it out was all that remained.
The vampire hunter pushed to her feet, patting Gran's stone lightly. "I'll be seeing you soon, I hope. I love you."
Slowly, she walked back to the house, savoring the sunlight upon her skin, the sounds of the wind in the leaves, and the earthy smells surrounding her ancestral home.
In a moment of absolute clarity, Sookie realized she could live out the rest of her life here in simplicity and happiness, were she not so very doomed.
Her time ran thin, and she decided she would take this last day to live exactly as she wanted, without interference or impositions from the outside world.
Tomorrow, she would head for Mississippi.
Tomorrow, the shit could hit the fan.
But today was a beautiful day, and she decided to claim it for her own.
III
In the afternoon, she took a long hot bath, and soaked for two hours, reading one of her favorite mystery novels. A warrior's ablutions, she realized ironically, and emerged feeling strangely at peace.
She listened to her favorite albums of Iron and Wine, Hayes Carll, and Allison Krauss.
She cooked herself an excellent steak, and ate it slowly with a glass of her favorite wine, savoring the flavors upon her tongue, and followed the meal with her favorite dark chocolate. The rich bitter-sweetness slid across her tongue, and she mused it tasted a little bit like life itself.
III
Eric approached the front porch, finding Sookie clad in an old white nightgown, a simple yet sweet garment that stirred in the wind as she stood from her seat to greet him. His heart lurched as he recognized it, the very gown she'd worn that fateful first night he'd slipped through her window with the intention of making her his own.
Immediately, he could see the change in her. A certain calm surrounded the vampire slayer, a puzzling tranquility. His heart began to pound in his chest; something was wrong, though he couldn't quite place his finger upon it yet.
"Hi," she said softly, standing a step above him, and still needing to tilt her head to look at him.
His heart broke a little for the small yet warm smile she paid him, and he couldn't say precisely why.
She'd called during the day, requesting his company that night. For the first time, requested, invited, instead of demanded, ordered. Intrigued, of course he'd showed.
Her small hand raised to lightly trace the line of his jaw, cupping his cheek with a tenderness that confused as much as it titillated.
"Sookie-"
She silenced him with a gentle kiss, drawing a small, almost strangled sound from deep in Eric's throat. "Tonight, let's play a game," she sighed against his ear, her body settling into his embrace that night with a familiar grace, as though she knew his fondest dreams, and sought to act upon them. "Let's pretend I just went on a long long trip, but you always knew I would be back eventually. Let's pretend my Gran died a natural and peaceful death, and my brother did not fuck over our lives with his selfish blunders."
Eric pulled back to scrutinize her, sharp blue eyes narrowed as he tried to decipher this change in her. Something was missing from her eyes. Still, they glinted with strength, but he realized her stare no longer tensed with rage, eyes no longer slit like a rattlesnake's, ready to do battle with the world. He'd never realized how very tense she'd been until now, seeing her hold herself with such a sense of peace.
An instinctive tingle of foreboding curled at the base of his spine.
"I do not want fantasy," he declared honestly, his hand covering the entire side of her face with a gentle touch. "I want to occupy a real space in your life, Sookie. I want to put everything behind us, but it would be unwise to pretend it never happened."
"Maybe," she ceded.
Far too easy.
"Something is amiss. I can sense it. Tell me, what's going on."
The vampire slayer paid him a tragic smile, but shook her head, clasping his hands in hers. "No, not now."
"Yes. Now." His voice came barely above a whisper, though he resisted the urge to shake her in his frustration with her stubbornness, even as he knew it would do no good.
"Mr. Northman, won't you come upstairs with me?" she asked, backpedaling a step, pulling upon his hand.
Eric froze upon hearing the invitation.
The coveted upstairs, the bedroom he'd wanted to share with her all along.
She dangled it before him in distraction, but also, he sensed, a genuine desire.
Dear Odin, she actually wanted him, he realized. It had seemed he would not live to see the day.
The vampire's heart thundered in his chest, a rare thing in general, yet such a frequent occurrence, when Sookie was near. There was a fragility in her voice that alarmed him. She put on a brave face, and Eric knew all too well her bravery to be genuine. But neither was Sookie stupid; she also feared, and he could feel that faint and cold emotion trickling through their bond. He wanted to know of what, but she did not seem inclined to tell him.
She would not tell him, till she was good and ready.
"We will speak of it later," he decreed on a sigh, leaning down to kiss her, the touch of her lips sending a thrill through his every limb. He prickled all over with anticipation coupled with apprehension.
"You'll know, later," she answered enigmatically.
Her words did not bode well, raising an alarm in the Viking's ancient brain, and yet he sensed with wonder that night, she needed him. She needed someone strong to hold on to, and he could not resist nor deny her.
So he allowed her to lead him slowly through the house, stealing languorous kisses as they progressed. Past the kitchen, he made note of the smell of a good meal, the chocolate half eaten, the bottle of wine partly consumed. Though she was not drunk, he could clearly tell, and he did not think the fine alcohol influenced her decision in this in the least. Tempered her ego a bit, perhaps, lowered her inhibitions, but even those, he did not think so.
At the foot of the stairs Eric swept his lady up into his arms, carrying her easily to her bedroom. He remembered the way, and could smell her presence in the small but cozy chamber. Her sanctuary, the place where she slept and dressed and bathed.
The room where she dreamed.
With such care it was almost maddening, Eric's large but gentle hands undressed her, caressed her, lay her down upon the bed. Leaning over her, the vampire paused, pinned by the sight of her clear blue eyes upon him. "There is a weight in your gaze, lover, that many vampires do not acquire for centuries," he observed, tracing the line of her jaw.
"I've had a full life, Eric," she sighed, and there was something in her wording that unsettled him even more. "Now stop fussing, and come make love to me."
It was the invitation he'd been waiting for, for what seemed like an eternity, and he could not refuse.
Once more upon their special island, where the rest of the world could not intrude, they made love for hours, passing the time with pleasure and play and even some laughter. Where the old favorites were re-visited, and even a few new, Sookie found her favorite position that night was pure vanilla missionary, Eric's massive body above hers, engulfing her, enveloping her completely with his strength and love.
She found an echo of the past in their present moment, she desiring to hide behind him from the darkness outside, to use his pale skin and golden beauty as a shield, even if only for a little while. Once, the thought of such weakness on her part would have infuriated her, but that night, she did not see it as such. She just, simply, had earned it, and she indulged unabashedly.
As for the third time that night both lovers neared their climax, Sookie arched her back against Eric, her most intimate muscles contracting around him with a strength that sent him reeling. "Eric," she sighed, winning a brilliant smile from the vampire above her. He would never tire of hearing his name upon her lips, each letter trembling with such a pleasure-laden timbre.
"Sookie, my lover," he answered, shoulders and arms trembling with the effort to hold himself at bay. She was so close, he knew, from the sound of her heart, the tension of her sheath.
She surfaced from his kiss, mind reeling.
"Let me drink from you."
It would make her strong, she told herself. For the battle that awaited her, she could use every little ace up her sleeve.
All excuses, she knew.
At that moment, she craved being one with this man so deeply she could not think around it. It suddenly seemed an urgent thing to her, a matter of great importance in the time she had left.
Her request so surprised him that Eric actually paused in his motion above her, pushing inside her, filling her to the brim.
"Do you mean it?"
He craved such an intimacy with her, but knew better than to suggest it, having learned his lessons well of her temper. He'd come so far that night, he wouldn't risk ruining it all, choosing to bide his time.
The fact that she herself requested it filled him with a heart-stopping hope, and in complete stillness he awaited her answer.
"Yes."
The vampire lost no time, resuming his attentions while nicking his tongue deeply upon a distended fang, kissing her in a way that sent his sweet blood into her mouth, and she drank of him deeply.
Much more passed between them besides blood. Sookie felt a trust in him she'd not known in another being since Gran, and the bond flung wide open between them as she ate at his mouth, her fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his skull. Wave after wave of warm emotion washed over Sookie, and filled with the pure sensation of his love for her, his desire and need and wonder and regrets. She saw stars as they came together.
The couple could move no farther than situating themselves with Sookie laying upon the flat of his chest, his clever fingers stroking long lines up and down her spine, prolonging her shivers of pleasure. There was a space between his pectorals that suited the form of her head just perfectly, and she intended to stay there for a good while longer yet. Sookie toyed with the golden fuzz upon Eric's stomach, overcome by an intense exhaustion that was just as emotional as physical. In the quiet after their love-making, the sorrow came for her, settling in side by side with the love she felt for the vampire.
Finally, she allowed herself this sweet thing, at what was to be her certain end.
She mulled upon the irony, staring out the window, glaring upon the world outside that would intrude upon them. The dawn that would eventually take him away from her, propelling her in the direction of Jackson.
Only Eric's caresses anchored her at this moment, and through the bond her conflicting emotions marched through him. Fear and sadness, love and trust and regret. He fought to understand, but she did not make it easy, refusing to say a word.
A hero's death had perhaps always loomed in her future, but at that sweet moment, Sookie found with surprise that given the choice, she would pick life.
She would pick Eric.
But the die was cast, and the choice lay out of her hands.
In silence she lay upon him, a single tear slipping through her iron control, sliding down her cheek in the dark.