Chapter 20

[Markus PoV]

Silence blanketed the room.

Everyone seemed lost in thoughts, as they contemplated this new information.

I took this moment to take in these people that I came to care for.

Jasper was the first that my eye gravitated too. Silent, stoic Jasper. A man of few words, who didn't let his emotions dictate his actions, but who was still able to not seem uncaring. The fact that he had that outburst earlier only showed just how much he really cared and it warmed my still heart.

It surprised me honestly how well we got along from the start.

It hadn't taken me long to realize that he was different from the others. The scars already pointed at that, but that wasn't all. The way he observed my every move at the beginning, his positioning in different situations, the way he held himself and his every movement. All of that screamed at me that he was a fighter. No, not just a fighter… he was a warrior.

He was at all times ready for violence.

Just like me.

Being the direct person I am, I had asked him about that and he had explained his past experiences to me. He had fought in the same war that I had ended, for longer than I was even alive. He had killed probably at least as many vampires as me, but he had done it without my superior physical prowess.

With only pure skill in combat and mastery over his pathokinesis did he survive and thrive in almost constant carnage against opponents that were physically superior to him. And apparently he never lost a fight. Not even once.

It sounded ridiculous, but I believed him.

If there was anyone who could have done that, then it had to be the man, who I viewed as a warrior worthy of respect. And a man who I would gladly call my brother.

Alice came next, as she was still half buried into his side. Energetic, lovable and caring Alice.

She had been one of the two most welcoming family members, from the beginning. Always eager to talk to me and never missing an opportunity to hug me from the weirdest angles. She had also been one of the most welcoming towards Leah, when I first brought her over.

I had been very hesitant to allow this much physical contact, at first. On one side due to our respective Mates and secondly due to me being not used to that much attention and physical contact… at all.

My worry about our Mates had been laid to rest almost immediately.

Jasper had not been bothered in the slightest and Leah had taken a liking to Alice almost immediately and had been happy about how much my new "sister" liked to show her love for her new "brother".

I was certain that there had been more going on at the time.

Hmm… maybe something connected to the time when the women sent me to the North Pole to get them a few ice bear pelts and some other obscure things for some new pieces of clothing…

Or the time they sent me to Brazil… or Russia…

All of those places and tasks that took me several hours to run to and get their requested items…

I shook my head at that. It was probably nothing.

My eye wandered towards Emmett and Rosalie next.

Rose was biting at her lower lip in a rare show of distress and even Emmett looked serious for once.

Those two had been surprisingly ok with my continued presence and even my inclusion into the family. I had been sure that Emmett would have been at least slightly hostile, after I literally ripped his arms off, in my insane state, but he had surprised me.

I had quickly learned that it took more than some physical harm to sour Emmett Cullen's opinion of me, or even his mood for that matter. He had been joking about my almost successful attempt at killing them all, right after the incident after all.

I came to know that Emmett was a simple man, who liked to enjoy his life.

That didn't mean he was stupid though. Not at all.

He was smarter than most people gave him credit for, I observed. He simply embraced his role as the big goof in the family and did his best to keep everyone's mood light and happy.

He was protecting their happiness just as much as he would protect them physically and that made me respect him.

Rosalie was another story entirely.

Where Emmett was simple, she was probably one of the most complex people I had ever met. I had not been able to figure her out fully, to this day actually.

On the outside, her demeanor was as cold and unwelcoming as her face was beautiful. But then there were times when she would seem like the most caring person you could meet. At the same time, you couldn't be sure if it was genuine or not, most of the time. And let's not forget her temper, that seemed to be on a hair trigger at all times.

Rosalie Cullen was a very complicated and confusing person.

That made it all the more astonishing to me, how well Leah, who I could read like a book, and Rosalie had clicked with each other.

In the end I had given up on deciphering the enigma that was Rosalie and simply decided to hold onto the facts.

Rose was part of my new family and therefore also under my protection.

She was good friends with my Mate.

And she cared for me and I, in return, for her.

The next two people that my eye wandered to, were much less hard to understand.

Carlisle and Esme were the pillars of this family.

Carlisle was the leader of this family, but he wasn't like how most people would define a person in his position. He was by far the most soft spoken and calm man I had ever met. He never used his position to order anyone around.

Instead he always made sure to give everyone a chance to state their opinion and made sure to take them into account then there was a decision to be made. He cared more about supporting us and making sure that we are all well, than trying to make us subservient to him.

That was also the main reason why I was fine with him taking the lead in most situations.

Carlisle and I were very different, when it came to our approach to certain things. To make it more understandable. I was someone that wouldn't hesitate to commit the most gruesome acts of violence, at the slightest excuse. And sometimes even without that.

The rage and hatred that I carried with me for 70 years now, was always just under the civil surface I showed at most times and it needed only a tiny nudge, like for example a threat to my loved ones, either perceived or real, and it would break through and destroy anyone and anything foolish enough to awaken it.

Carlisle was different.

He was a person with a deep dislike for violence. He would always seek ways that didn't involve bloodshed, but that didn't make him weak. Carlisle was, as I said before, not just the leader of this coven. He was the Father of this family as well.

And he would do anything to protect this family.

Even go against his own ideals.

That had been demonstrated already, then he threw himself at me with the intent to kill, during my insanity driven attack against his family.

I could respect someone that could hold onto his principles.

But that paled in face of the respect I had for someone that would sacrifice these very same principles for what was truly important.

Family.

Carlisle Cullen truly had my deepest respect.

Just like his wife.

Esme Cullen, "the Mother" as I had called her in my head at the beginning was exactly that.

The Mother and biggest pillar of this weird family.

If there was ever someone worthy of being called "The Definition of a Mother", besides my own late mother, then it was her.

She was the most caring, warm and loving vampire I had ever met.

I was honestly still baffled sometimes, how it was possible for a vampire like her to exist.

Every word, every touch, every look, every gesture of hers seemed able to make one feel loved, appreciated and simply warm. I was almost certain that it had to be some kind of Gift.

I had only ever felt like that, with one other person…

My own Mother.

It had been hard to accept at the beginning, but that was how it was.

Esme reminded me of my late Mother.

But to my own surprise, that didn't come with the expected pain. Instead she helped remind me of all the happy times I had with my Mother.

The games we played. The songs she would sing to me. The bedtime stories she would read to me. The meals she would cook. Her soft voice. Her gentle embrace. Her loving smile…

I had come to the realization that I hadn't thought of my mother in any other capacity, than to fuel my rage and hatred, for a long long time.

Esme showed me that, simply by being herself, and it was one of the many things I would be forever grateful for.

While Carlisle had taken on the task to heal my body, Esme had been knowingly or unknowingly healing my soul.

A soft smile began to lightly stretch my lips, as I drifted in my thoughts, when I felt a familiar hot hand squeeze my own.

I turned towards the last and most important person in the room.

Leah Clearwater, my Mate, the first ever female Quileute Werewolf and the most beautiful woman on this whole entire world, was currently holding my hand in a tight grip and looking up into my single eye with clear worry.

I brought her hand to my face and placed a few soft kisses on her knuckles. That managed to get a quiet chuckle out of her and brought a smile back on her face.

I was once again thankful that I didn't need to breathe, due to her smile being literally breathtaking in how much it amplified her overwhelming beauty.

There wasn't a single day, when I didn't question the universe, how it was possible for me to be this lucky and meet this goddess on earth.

There was not even the slightest doubt in my mind that I didn't deserve her.

She was perfect. Beautiful, loving and strong.

While I wasn't.

I was an ugly monster that just barely managed to hide under the mask of a man.

I was broken. In body and soul.

Death was on my heels and insanity was always just one step away.

My only redeeming quality was my will.

My will allowed me to move my broken and dying body. My will made it possible to hold back the creeping insanity.

My unbreakable, sheer WILL, that had kept me alive all these years.

I may not deserve her.

I may not be worthy of her…

But I would do anything in my considerable power to prove myself worthy of her, someday.

If not for her, then for myself.

That was my will.

"Soooo, to summarize that big speech just now: Markus is transforming into some type of Non-Vampire and he has approximately a fifty fifty chance to survive the process. Am I right so far?"

We all looked towards Emmett, when he suddenly spoke up. I felt my amusement rise. I had an idea where this was going, after looking at his growing grin, when Carlisle nodded his head yes.

"Then why the long faces? Just a few months ago we thought he would be dead for sure! Now there is a chance at least and to be honest I wouldn't even call it just a chance. We all know how stubborn this guy can be! Even if there was only a one percent chance, he would probably still beat the odds, through thickheadedness alone! I am honestly more worried what his new form will look like. Do you think he will look like some kind of animal? What if his new form was that… of a CAT!"

At the last part he let out a mock gasp and pointed at me, while looking between Leah and me in exaggerated shock.

At that point I couldn't hold it any longer. First chuckles and then uncontrollable laughter began shaking my frame. I could see Leah trying to glare at Emmett and me, but her own giggles made that task seemingly impossible.

Emmett's own roaring laughter joined my own, almost drowning out the chuckles and laughter from the rest of the family.

It took me a while to get myself under control. If I were human I would have probably needed a handkerchief for the copious amount of tears of laughter I would have shed. Like this however, I simply moved back up to my previous position, after sliding from the couch in my laughing fit.

"Yeah, I doubt that the changes will be that, hehe, fundamental, Emmett. But you are right about the rest," I spoke up after everyone quieted down once more.

"Now we know for sure that there is a chance. And just as you put it so elegantly; I will simply 'beat the odds, through thickheadedness alone'."

I finished with a wide smile.

"Yeah, yeah that's fine, but just imagine it for a second. What would happen, if you really turn into some kind of cat. Would Leah then…"

"EHEM!"

Emmett was saved from digging his grave even deeper by Leah loudly clearing her throat and Rosalie pulling on his ear. Their combined glares made him raise his hands in surrender. His expression showed that even he didn't dare say anything more.

I felt sorry for him, but not enough to come to his rescue. I wouldn't want to risk pulling their ire onto me.

I chose life, thank you very much.

Before the situation escalated any further, Carlisle decided to save his son.

"As interesting as speculating further about Markus' future appearance would be, I think we should get back on topic now. There is a second and arguably more immediately pressing point we need to discuss."

At Carlisle's words Leah and Rosalie lifted their gaze from Emmett, which caused him to slump down in relief.

I caught Leah's eyes and gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled and turned to the rest once more, to explain our new alliance to them.

While she did that, I pulled her even closer into my side and let her scent and the pure sound of her voice lul my mind into a trancelike state of relaxation…

…

[Victoria PoV:]

Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run…

"Victoria? Are you ok?"

DEATH AWAITS Run Run Run…

"Victoria?"

I shot up from my sitting position and looked around frantically. The fear that filled me for almost 3 months now almost overwhelmed me, before my hectic mind managed to identify the person standing near me.

"Riley… Yes… Everything is fine. Did you need something?"

I was unable to keep the trembling fully out of my voice and he didn't miss that.

"Victoria, what is going on? What has you so frightened? Don't lie to me. You haven't been yourself for months now!"

He was right.

I was frightened.

I was more terrified than ever before in my life.

And the worst part?

I didn't even know why exactly!

It had started sometime in march. I had wanted to attempt once more to get to the human girl. The thought of her blood filling my stomach. The thought of the all consuming pain that would haunt the bastard that took my dear James from me. It had widened my smile and fastened my steps.

Until I had been out of Seattle.

The moment I had stepped out of the city my Gift, my immaculate sense of self-preservation, had flared up stronger than ever before.

The fear… the sheer TERROR, had made my legs give out from under me.

Whatever had triggered my Gift… whoever it was… wherever it was…

My Gift had screamed one thing for certain.

DEATH!

DEATH AND DOOM AWAIT!

I felt my body tremble once more at the memory. Riley placed his arm around my shoulder in comfort and I forced myself to not let my disgust show and let him.

"Victoria… please let me help you. You know I would do anything for you!"

I ignored his sniveling and concentrated on keeping my sneer from showing. The thought that this pathetic little boy even thought that he had any type of claim to me…

If he wasn't such a convenient tool, I would have killed him long ago.

"...If you are unsure about attacking the Cullens, then we don't have to. We can always abandon the plan and simply run away toge…"

"NO!"

My sudden outburst startled him, but I didn't care about that.

"The plan stays the same. We can't give up. I won't give up! Not now or ever! The Cullens will die! They NEED to die!" I rebuked him.

My anger managed to drown my fear for the moment and I had to use all my willpower to not attack him for his words.

How dare he try to persuade me away from my rightful revenge!?

He was nothing more than a pawn. A pathetic little slave, who was only allowed to live for as long as he was of use. It was bad enough already that I had to feign feeling any kind of affection towards him, but it was necessary. The more loyal he was to me, the bigger were my chances of success in my mission.

I collected myself and hid my feelings behind a strained smile.

"I'm sorry… Riley, I am fine. Believe me. It's just my nerves. You know how important it is for our future to rid ourselves of the Cullens. I told you already. They want me dead and they will chase us to the end of times, to fulfill that desire. Are you telling me you would allow that?"

"NO! Never! You are right, we can't let them live. I won't allow such a threat to your life! We will deal with them. The army is coming along nicely. Not long and we will finally be free."

I didn't need to fake the satisfied grin that came over my lips at his words.

"Did you do as I told you to?"

"Yes, I followed your wishes. I doubled our numbers over the last month and made sure that no one stepped even close to Forks."

"And the clothes?"

"I made sure that all of them know the scent."

"Good. Very good."

My newly bettered mood was quickly soured by his hopeful expression. He was rapidly looking between my eyes and lips.

I steeled myself against the disgust and leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. The contact didn't last longer than half a second, but it still made my stomach churn. I fought to keep the blood down, while hiding my internal struggle.

It seemed redundant after one look at the idiot though. He was simply staring through me, with a dreamy expression on his revolting face.

Once again I fought down any violent impulses and broke him out of his undoubtedly disgusting thoughts.

"Riley, as much as I would love for you to stay, I think you should leave now. Our army needs its leader. We can't allow any incidents. Now more than ever."

He looked at me with longing, before he finally followed my words and stood up.

"Ok… you are right, of course. We are so close. I will make sure that everything works out until then. I will see you later, my love."

"Goodbye, dear."

He finally left after one more long look and I made sure to keep my smile up until he walked out of the apartment. The second he left, my smile transformed into a sneer.

I pulled out some tissues to clean my lips in disgust.

Not long and I would never have to do that again.

Once the girl and the Cullens were dead, Riley's usefulness would be over.

And with that his life also.

It won't be long until we would march onto Forks a-

DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH

RUN RUN RUN

Once again I was gripped by overwhelming terror.

I felt my legs give out from under me.

It was the same as last time. My Gift was screaming at me and I didn't know why!

But wait…

My thoughts were running at lightspeed as I came to one big conclusion.

There was one thing that both instances of terror had in common.

Both times I was thinking of going to Forks.

Whatever my Gift was warning me from, it was in Forks…

White hot anger began bubbling under the fear, slowly overtaking it.

My Gift wanted to keep me from Forks.

Forks, where the killer of my Mate waited. Forks, where I would be able to get my revenge. Forks, where I would finally find some peace.

A new wave of terror rose but I crushed it under my anger and hatred.

NO, I wouldn't run. Not this time. This was my best chance at avenging my Mate and I won't let anything keep me from doing this.

Not even myself.

With my resolve steeled once more, I pushed my fear into the farthest corners of my mind and made my way outside. Time to recruit some more pawns.

No more doubts.