Chapter VIII
Summary: this time Sakura's got serious questions that keep bothering her mind. Determined, she goes to Itachi to search for answers. His reaction can be anything, yet Sakura won't give up.
A/n: a very tough chapter for me. Each time I got to read it my heart shed tears, each time I read these lines about Itachi I cry and barely can help it. I love his character almost like a real person and what Kishimoto's done to him is much worse than what Itachi's done to Sasuke. Translating forthcoming chapters gets harder, every sentence involving Itachi provokes bursts of emotions so difficult to control.
Once again be warned, the fic had been written long before Kishimoto revealed the tru reasons for the massacre, so there're differences between the author's plot and The real manga.
Enjoy. I wonder if you're going to weep at it. If so or not so, do leave a review, please.
This time Sasuke had another reason to return late, he had to look into the monthly report, permanent headache of any high-rank worker of Konoha. Hokage surely suffered the most, others felt only a little bit less pressure though.
None the less Sakura was only glad to realise it – she was walking to Itachi's place right at the moment, deep in thought. She stopped close to a small department store and tilted her head gazing at the shop window. 'Should buy something,' she mused as she came in and looked at the counter. 'It must be that I've drunk all his tea supplies. He seems to be fond of jasmine type'.
She bought some tea and a box of – she smirked to herself – sweets. When with him, Sakura, to her own surprise, started to notice tiny details about Itachi, the details indiscernible to a stranger's eye. Small features making of a perfect shinobi a human. Who would have thought, for instance, that the heartless Uchiha Itachi had a sweet tooth! And after this all ordinary things – a ring, his steps, clicking of the lock, dark passage, familiar chair in the brightly lit kitchen – have become an important part of her life.
Tonight, though, she had a definite aim, a question to ask him.
- Itachi?
- Yes
- Do you love your brother?
Stillness. Birds' chirrup outside and distant noise of the street.
- I do
- And your family? Do you love your parents, your friends?
Silence again.
- Why do you ask?
Sakura shook her head,
- Because I don't get it, - she looked up at him, the usual tranquility on his face. – You killed them. Killed those dear to you, your clan, your blood and left no one but your brother, a little boy. Why? What forced you? You say you love him, is this how you love him then?
She didn't note it how her voice quavered with raised tones and she was now standing. Right in front of her reminiscences rushed – Sasuke who says he lives for revenge, Sasuke who lives Konoha, a huge abandoned mansion, photographs in albums, Sasuke's happy face as he embraces his brother… All this was crated by a single person who is now telling her he loves his younger sibling!
- That's true
- What? – she stared at Itachi, not believing his words.
He gave a slight sigh, and a forgotten cup pf tea in his hands anew.
- I hate to offend you yet I'm afraid it has no business with you, you won't understand
- You mean… What do you mean it is none of my business?! Sasuke is my husband! I should know, I've got to know! You're telling me I won't understand, explain it then! Please, - she cut it off almost shyly and sat down in her chair.
He dropped no sound as though pondering upon Sakura's plea and with a deep breath, after arriving to a final decision, the man went on,
- U see… Do you know what it is like to be unique? Not just different in something but be totally unlike the rest? Doubtfully. And that's what I mean – Sasuke and I were that, the only unique brothers of the clan. The Uchihas' geniuses. To be frank, he has always been behind owing to his age and underdeveloped abilities but this forced him to catch up with me even more, to overrun, defeat me. As we were different from others we could reach highest peaks, though there was one hindrance. Everyplace limits surrounded us, boundaries as obstacles to take next step, sometimes they are large walls to overjump, sometimes – a disgusting rotten marsh sucking us in underground. You understand this?
She gave a slow nod forgetting his blindness,
- Yes, yes I do
- The Uchihas… they were this marsh. Living in false pride, bragging about greatness they were leading dull lives, in emptiness, daily routine serving meaningless foolish purposes. A gathering of weak hopeful losers who had set themselves in a cage of imaginary exceptionality. 'The Great Uchihas' choking with their false rules those who could have attained more, so when I got Mangekyou Sharingan I got rid of the useless thus breaking the chains keeping us from pursuing of perfection, I tore each futile bond. I did break the limit shattering the cage and therefore opened a free way ahead, I tried, I proved my power. You are asking why I has spared Sasuke. Isn't it obvious? He appeared the soul of all the gifts the Uchiha blood could provide. Although small, weak, crippled by the damned slash called 'the clan' he still was my brother, my sibling. I've done my best to set him on the right track yet I had failed to explain it to him in the way I'm speaking to you for Sasuke is too vehement and hot-tempered. While I was led by the mind, hatred was his guardian. Defeating me was his goal, once satisfied, he would turn into a worthy rival and tower up high above all barriers. Do you follow me? We used to be each other's limits, the last step to the peak and eternal reminder of going further. Two genial Uchihas, one of us was to fall whilst the other would gain freedom. I happened to be the former
Sakura listened to him unable to recover, Itachi's speech even, assured as if clarifying indisputable truth and what was most horrifying was that it was real truth to him. 'He's insane', the kunoichi thought in fear as she clenched livid fingers into the chair. 'He believes in what he's saying! God, how can it be possible? Killing parents as a means of testing abilities, ruining brother's life!'
Scare, strangling fright before Itachi that seemed to have ended a week ago was back, her heart rapidly pounded under the breastbone.
Then hatred awakened.
Reminiscences of pain, longing, tears she shed, Sasuke's beaten body on the day he first met his elder, his obsession, his indifference…
His madness.
- You… - she rose from the seat, voice boiling with rage. – It was you who maimed him, and sick ideas of yours made him reject friendship, love, support, it was you who near got him to give Orochimaru his body, it was you, you…
Fists tight, eyes watery, however she didn't care as long as anger overflowed her causing to choke while she shouted those words that have been seeking release,
- You've made him mad having created a semblance of your own, a psycho obsessed with power. 'Too vehement', that's what you said, huh?! You killed the family, all his relatives and poisoned with hate. You… you… I loathe you!
The chiseled features wouldn't stir a bit – only a light raise of his head as he caught the sound of her voice,
- I'd told you, you wouldn't understand, - he enounced softly
Looking into these blind, partly covered by his hair, eyes, Sakura burst letting out a stifled sob, then she sat down and closed her face with her hands. She couldn't despise him, a slayer, a madman, a genius, a person who's ruined her husband's life, she simply couldn't do it for the part he played in Sasuke's life… seemed too strange.
She was unable to figure it out, that very part.
They lapsed into silence for some time, each with his own thoughts.
- He should've killed you, - the girl whispered, phrase addressed to no one
The fact that it was said aloud dawned upon her too late.
Itachi kept quiet, his face focused and altogether… sorrowful? Her stupor broke in next to no time – she hoped to catch the sudden change and thoroughly examined his expression.
- I've made a mistake, - the man remarked calmly, not to the other, however, to himself. – Foolish little brother… So dependent upon attachments… So many emotions
He sank into a reverie afterwards.
- You love him, - in the same serene manner uttered Sakura. – Not as a limit – as a brother though, even if this love is weird.
Itachi stirred, and responded nothing.
Twilight crawled behind the window.
- Itachi? - lift of his head. - Shall I cut your hair? Fringe's too long, it hides your eyes
Was it just she or did he smile?
- No but thank you none the less
- As you please
Hush.
- I've got to go
- As you wish
Dimness of the hall, clicking of the door lock, the smoky-blue sky with appearing stars.
- Goodbye
- Goodbye… - she turned around walking away only to stop at the last moment, and her hand touched his. – Itachi, I'm glad he didn't kill you
The girl releases his hand, steps down the stairs and runs along the side street. Warm night wind, ever-so tenderly, caresses her cheeks.