A/n: my favorite chapter. Translated during a boring period at the Uni. A very gentle and light chapter, hope you'll feel it too
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Chapter XIII
Chapter Thirteen Summary: let's get into little Sasuke's head for the time being and see the world around through his eyes
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you.
(Chris Isaac)
Not a cloud in the endless blue sky, light breeze seems calm and quiet, and in the heat of the July's sun, Itachi's hair feels soft and smells of grass and warm tree. Five-year-old Sasuke buries his nose in the locks, breathing in hungrily, clutching the thick tresses in those small fists, he is absolutely incredibly happy. They repose at the pond's little bridge while the cool of the water, arising, saves them from sizzling temperature. Itachi is absorbed in a book which he'd brought earlier, Sasuke clinging onto him from behind, sighing noisily into his ear and dishevels his black hair, not knowing what to do and, frankly speaking, not that he is in a search for an occupation. Nii-san san had brought him with the sole warning - that he won't disturb him, and the boy is all out to keep the promise. The youngest Uchiha bends forward over the other's shoulder squeezing the summer yukata's collar. He wants to resemble nii-san in everything, he must read clever and serious literature and he gives it a try. The text, though, appears too difficult, Sasuke's lips moving soundlessly unable to read small kanji's with no pictures at all. Disappointed, he gets angry but suddenly Itachi's hand lifts to stroke his wild hair, Sasuke closes his eyes in pleasure, chuckling gaily, irritation vanishes as if it wasn't there a minute ago so that he holds firmer onto the yukata before leaning in closer to his brother's cheek, leaving a moist kiss right on it. Itachi keeps reading yet his hand is no longer on Sasuke's head, the younger pulls back gazing at the sibling, he is all smiles and glowing with a feeling of happiness and love.
"Nii-san," he calls pulling at the collar.
The addressed turns around - Sasuke's arms wrapping around his neck, pink lips crushing into the corner of his mouth. The younger knows that kissing a relative is not right yet he does not find it bad. Kaa-san and tou-san, however, do it often for they love each other a lot, and Sasuke loves his brother a lot too. Itachi views him with slight curiosity, and then proceeds with reading. Sasuke feels amazingly light and free, nii-san holds no grudge against him so he finds no fault in kissing. A merry smile spreads across Sasuke's face as he presses cheek to cheek to his elder.
And he wakes up afterwards...
***
The dream has been chasing him since the day the Uchihas were murdered. The memory of the massacre proved much more terrible than anther of his permanent nightmares about the dead bodies of his parents in a pool of blood at the killer's feet, about the strangling fear making it impossible to breathe or move. That dream about a distant summer afternoon at the pond has become his most horrible one because, first, it reminded him of the former life without hatred, life to be never brought back. Second, after Sasuke became an adult these reminiscences grew scarier, deeper and he would wake up in fever while the loathsome name flew off his lips, he would lay in bed, sleep ignoring him, head stuck in a pillow in an attempt to evade drastic sticky images as well as suppress shiver rushing through his body, lips burning, burning, burning... When it dawned at last he got up with yet another reason for hating his brother.
***
The world of little Sasuke used to be filled with many frightening or unreachable things. He would shudder at thunderclaps or run away from big dogs, and to get a box of cookies from the top shelf turned quite a challenge. He never asked for parents' help, nevertheless. His father, severe as he was, would have thought him a cry baby and to mother, although kind and gentle, he would have seemed a naive child. As well as Sasuke knew himself, there has always been one person he could appeal to and confess, his brother being that one. He trusted him. He felt like embracing and hiding behind him. Sasuke knew for sure nii-san could do anything.
As grown-ups kaa-san and tou-san were tall and strong whereas Itachi looked like a deity to the youngest Uchiha, ever-so distant, beautiful, nearly almighty. Mom and Dad were just humans unable to fight thunder or lightning.
On those rainy nights he would hurry to Itachi's room, get under the cover and cuddle up close to him fully certain he would be totally safe there. The storm was no problem when nii-san was near. Above the storm. Over the storm.
Above. Over. Although too small to be able to form complex notions, these words have always had much to do with his brother. At times, looking at Itachi, Sasuke would suddenly feel cold and lonely as the mysterious sixth sense told him acutely that nii-san was not there with them and had never been. And then Itachi would call his name and Sasuke, forgetful, shone up like a tiny sun. He could always feel his brother's mood, subconsciously. Aware of his sadness, groundless, unexpected, sensed the icy grey around his dear brother, so he would hug him and refuse to let go. Father furrowed his eyebrows; mother cried while Sasuke saw no love on their part, no one seemed to love Itachi. No doubt, tou-san was proud of his son, praising him, showing off his achievements before others, yet the soggy stubborn sensation would never leave the youngest Uchiha. Besides this, tou-san looked fearful to Sasuke for that strictness of his, he was never really interested in him, and Sasuke usually wanted to hide behind nii-san's back. The apple of Mikoto's eye, for her he was a baby to foster and care about.
As for friends, apart from those in the clan, Sasuke actually had none. A cute and agile boy, he acted shyly, antisocial with mates. He did not need friends being content with having nii-san, and the latter - Sasuke was positive in it - returned this feeling.