Three

~Aderyn~

The more I thought about the whole situation, the more unhappy I became. I pictured Brynn in my head. My best friend; my handsome best friend who always told me everything, who treated me like...

How did he treat me?

Like one of the boys? No. He respected me far too much.

Like a sister? No, definitely not that.

Like...

Like a princess. Like everyone else treated me.

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if our friendship had been nothing but his civic duty to the crown- so to speak.

I hated him.

I hated his long, swirling black hair and his dark black eyes. I hated his crooked smile and straight teeth. I hated his laugh and his ability to make me smile when nothing else could.

I hated that he was leaving. I hated that he had kept secrets; a partial lie.

And worst of all I hated myself for ever believing after all these years that he was anything more than a loyal servant to the crown—to me.

I awoke early the next morning and paced back and forth at the foot of my bed, a war of it's own waging in my thoughts.

Should I go outside and watch his final moments as a squire like he was expecting me to?

Or should I stand firm in my stubbornness and refuse to speak to him again until he begged and grovelled for forgiveness?

The latter choice was all-too tempting although I knew him far too well to expect that.

But no, I was weak.

I dressed quickly, wasting too much time battling with myself, and ran down to the training grounds where he was already running laps on horseback. The same boy from the morning before stood there watching him.

"He fell," the boy said. "You missed it."

"Damn," I muttered and turned and headed into the stables to see my own horse, Caesar.

He was a magnificent animal; powerful and beautiful. I had trained him myself since he was just a small colt and we had grown up together.

I stroked his velvet-soft nose and fed him a handful of oats.

"Boy!" I called as I saw the boy walk by with a bucket of water in his hands. He stopped and turned to me.

"My lady?" he called back.

"When you are finished, saddle up my horse, if you'll be so kind. I wish to take him out," I said and the boy nodded.

"Right away," he said and hurried away with the bucket.

Within a matter of minutes Caesar and I bolted through the stables, the wind blowing his mane and my hair back, sending it whipping in whatever direction the wind cared to blow.

I was aware of no one and no thing as we thundered across the meadow and down a few miles to the river where I stopped to allow Caesar to drink and enjoy the fresh and wet grass.

I climbed down from the saddle and took a seat on a fallen tree trunk which had now reduced to a shabby log. Keeping my concentration on peeling the damp bark from the body of the log, I pushed all my cares aside and closed myself away from the world only occasionally coming back into focus to make sure Caesar had not wandered off.

But of course I should have known that I would not be left alone to myself for too long. Addy and her new owner came into view a few seconds after I heard faint hoof-prints approaching me.

Ignoring the both of them, I pulled off my boots, hiked up my dress and waded into the cool, running water of the shallow river.

"You haven't taken Caesar out in a while," he called and I hated myself for loving the sound of his voice.

"I wanted to get out," I answered, still walking further out into the water in the opposite direction.

"Yes, I can see that," he laughed, not taking the hint that I wanted to be completely alone; especially from him. I continued to wade out into the waters until the water line reached just a few inches below my knees. "Careful," he called out to me. "Any second now you're about to drop a few more inches. And the current picks up quite a bit."

I ignored him and took a few more steps, feeling with my toes for any sudden drops. I heard him demount his horse and then it grew quiet. I turned around and he was taking off his shoes to come out and join me.

"Water's freezing," he commented, wincing as he took the first step into the icy water. He was right but in my attempt to escape him I scarcely noticed. "Are you okay?"

I smiled to myself a bit. God, he was slow. I shrugged and smiled sweetly at him.

"Why would I not be?"

"Well, I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. You seem...upset," he took small steps towards me, still quite a few yards away. Across the other side of the river a bush trembled and a small family of rabbits emerged, their noses twitching as they sniffed the air around them for food.

"What reason could I possibly have to be upset?" There went my tone, completely giving me away.

"We-ell... you didn't seem to happy about what I told you yesterday," he ventured and my eyes widened in annoyance. How could he torture me like this, even unconsciously? I wanted to throw a rock at him.

"Why would I be upset with you for doing your duty? You've wanted to be a knight since we were kids and now you're finally getting your wish. I don't see how that's something that I would be upset about."

"I didn't mean that. I mean... I'm going to be gone for a while..." he pushed me to speak further and I turned to him suddenly, my eyes blazing.

"What?" he asked once he saw my furious expression. He didn't take another step, but just stood rooted in place.

"What is it with everyone? Why does everyone think that when you leave I'm going to be like some lost child? I don't need you to survive!" I kicked water at him and he stared at me incredulously before laughing aloud and taking another step towards me.

"Is that what this is about?" Splashing around, he quickly closed the distance between us. "Aderyn, I don't think that at all. In fact, I think it'll do you some good with me being gone."

My heart stopped in my chest. He wanted me to-?

"Well, that's great! Because you're leaving in a matter of days and then you'll get your wish. Complete and utter freedom from me," I was trembling not from the cold water but from my anger and resentment.

I stomped through the water back towards my horse, too angry to even tell him the real reason behind my mood.

"You know that's not what I meant," he sighed, resigning. "I don't want to leave you but... you know I'll be coming back soon."

With my back to him I continued walking, spitting through my teeth a hint of the real bitterness in my heart. "Is that what you told Elizabeth too?"

Everything froze except for me. The wind even seemed to stop blowing through the trees and even the babbling and bubbling of the river seemed to quiet, eager to hear what Brynn's response would be.

Part of me wanted him to run up to me and grab me and cry, begging for forgiveness all the while trying to persuade me that it was all a wicked lie. But the other half of me was still angry and wanted nothing more than to just be left alone by everyone and everything for once in my life.

And out of those two choices, the one I got left me saddened. Because he didn't come after me. He didn't even say a word. And the last thing I saw before riding away was him standing, frozen like a statue, knee deep in the water, staring after me with his mouth propped open.

After that I was gone.