Chapter seven – Night Lights

Another day brought another night. Tawna watched out the window as the sun slowly began its decent. At nightfall, the nightlife would begin again. The popularity of Pinstripe's bar was increasing every passing night. Tawna even spied a few humans who had once been under Cortex's employment taking their fill of the pleasures Cortex City had to offer.

Tawna had wondered for a while whether or not Pinstripe worked directly for Cortex. However, it soon became clear to her that Pinstripe worked for no one but himself. He cared for himself alone, and how much money he was cashing in off her. In the early years, Pinstripe had even opened a brothel to bring in enough to build his club. It was at that time that Tawna really began to understand what she had accepted. Although those days were over, Tawna could still remember being tossed about from man to man, taking on many shifts just to keep Pinstripe happy. She remembered she'd still thought she loved him then. She smiled, but the smile was empty. What a fool she'd been.

Tawna let her gaze settle on her mirror as she studied her features. She brushed her fingertips beneath her chin. What was she thinking? She was still a fool. How could she continue to work for Pinstripe, live with him, when she hated him so much? She sighed. She supposed she hated her life even more. Despite how much she hated what she did, she remained too frightened to defy her former lover. She was disgusted with herself. Even after all he'd done, she still felt her knees quiver at the sound of his voice. Every day she felt more and more unbearably pathetic.

Knowing these thoughts were chasing her away from a solace she so desperately needed, Tawna stood and leaned against the window. She gazed for the millionth time at the majestic jungle of N. Sanity Island that rested just across the sea. She remembered with a heavy heart that once upon a time she had watched the jungle from her prison in Cortex Castle. The only thought that kept her hope alive was that Crash was coming for her. She offered the weakest smile and dried her tears. She made this decision on her own. Crash would not be coming to save her this time.

A sudden slam caused Tawna to spin about. Veronica stood in the doorway, wearing next to nothing. Her sleek white fur was combed to perfection, and her hair glimmered against her shoulders. Tawna angled her brows in irritation.

"Forget to knock?"

"Can you quit being a hag for a second and tell me if this looks good?"

Veronica spun about in a lacy bra and matching panty set. It revealed far too much, but Veronica liked it that way. Tawna frowned and flipped her hand dismissively.

"Sure. I know you don't believe in the phrase, 'hard to get'."

Veronica smiled. "Well, the harder girls miss out now, don't they?"

Tawna was growing increasingly disgusted, so she changed the subject. "And what are you wearing those for anyway? We wear matching costumes in the first number."

"Oh, of course." Veronica said with a shrug. "This isn't for the show. I remember Pinstripe saying he liked black and lacy, so I figured this little number would do it."

Tawna's anger was peaked, but she didn't betray it. "Then what gives you the nerve to come in here and ask me?"

"Well, Pinstripe's done you more than any girl in the club. So I figured you probably wore something that captured his interest. God knows it's not your personality."

Tawna growled. "Would you get out?"

"Tonight's the night girl. If I were you, I'd pick up a bloke after the show so I wouldn't spend the night alone. After Pinstripe takes a look at me tonight, he's going to forget all about you." Veronica smiled and blew Tawna a kiss. "Later."

Tawna waited until the door had closed before taking up her hairbrush and throwing it as hard as she could at her closet. It disappeared in an organized pile of short skirts and heels. Tawna's anger raged silently while she fought to overcome it. Each confrontation with Veronica grew harder to handle as time wore on. Tawna took a deep breath before sitting down at her vanity and gazing into the mirror. She swiftly applied a cobalt shadow to her eyelids, and darkened and curled her lashes. She feathered her cheeks with blush and then coloured her lips with the reddest lipstick she owned. When her face was finished, she found her costume and slipped into it. It was a more complicated design than she was used to wearing, but she was flexible enough to reach the string up on the back of her costume. Just as she slipped on her nylons she could hear a sharp rap at her door.

"Five minutes, sweetheart."

Tawna didn't respond. She picked out her heels and sat on the bed as she slid the leather past her knee and laced up both boots with a practiced hand. When she was completely finished, she let herself collapse against the bed, not at all afraid of messing up her hair. With tresses so curly, it was difficult to ruin without conscious deliberation. For the next few moments until the show began, Tawna simply lay there staring up at the ceiling.

Someday I'm going to meet someone who will love me for who I am. Someone who wouldn't hurt me…wouldn't leave me. I have to believe that such a person out there is meant for me. I have to believe I will find happiness someday.

Tawna was startled out of her thoughts as the final call was announced at her door. She stood up and made for the door. She would find happiness one day, but not today.

The lights always made the stage so hot and musty. Although Tawna preferred group dances to solos, she hated the ridiculously close proximity to the other dancers. They all seemed to rejoice in the life they led, as though they had been created for it. And perhaps they were. Pinstripe did have friends in high places. Backstage, Tawna pushed through the crowd of twelve girls to get to her place. Pinstripe's voice echoed over the loudspeaker as he welcomed everyone to the Moulin Cortex.

Tawna finally took her place, and waited impatiently for the curtain to rise. It was a stream of predictable pieces before the curtain opened. Pinstripe introduced the girls, his voice was drowned out by a roaring applause, the music began, and then finally the velvet parted. Tawna felt the beat vibrate the boards beneath her feet. She stepped forward with enthusiastic, accentuated steps until she stood directly at the foot of the stage. The whoops and cheers made the skin at her neck prickle in revulsion, but she didn't let it interfere with her performance. She lifted a hand into the air, waiting for the cue. The lights dropped and dimmed, and Tawna began to sing.

"Can you tell me, ohhh…

Can you tell me what you're waiting for?

It's easy…so easy

To show me how much you want me"

As the words flowed from her mouth she danced about the stage, flanked by six girls. The others were in the background, moving to the music in the most seductive way that can be choreographed. Veronica danced at Tawna's side, constantly stepping in front of her. Tawna ignored her attempts to embarrass her, and continued singing.

"Come closer, darling

Let me feel your tender skin

Do I love you? Not really…

But, oh, how I love that body so!"

Now the chorus came in. Tawna twirled and strutted back toward the rear of the stage while the other girls soaked up the applause. As she prepared herself for her next spot, she began to feel an abrupt feeling of nausea. Her head began to spin, the lights seemed to grow brighter, unbearably so, and the noise around her began to blend together in an incoherent drone.

"Shake it to the right, shake it to the left

Show me what you want

A little of this? Or a little of that?

Give it to me baby!"

Tawna pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to banish the consuming feeling. She stumbled, and reached for a dance pole to steady herself. Tears began to stream from her eyes. She could see Pinstripe yelling something from backstage, but the words didn't reach her. She could see Veronica too, making the most of the time she had at centre stage.

Shake to the right, shake it to the left

Is this what you want from me?

A little of this? A little of that?

'Cause that's what I want from you!

It was Tawna's cue, but she could not bear to move. Her head hurt so badly. The performers paused for a moment, confused that Tawna wasn't making a move, but the hesitation didn't last. Veronica hardly skipped a beat as she took Tawna's place, putting a fair amount more sensual movements in her adaptation. Now the room began to spin, and Tawna tried to get offstage. But it was too late. The room offered one final twirl before she fainted to the floor.