Hello everyone. How's life? Good, I hope!
I am going to be so sad when I'm done writing these, so hopefully the new shows will provide me with some good writing material. Seriously, writing these Eli POV's have taken over my life. Hah. So, I hope you're enjoying them, good people! I know I am. =)
Without further delay: Better off Alone- Part 2; first half. Enjoy! :
In my entire life I had never been awake before my alarm sounded, but now I found myself awake five minutes prior to the time set on my alarm. Sitting up in bed I looked around my room, dazed. I was amazed that I didn't have to fight with myself to get up and out of bed. For the first time in a year I was excited to go to school. It didn't take a psychologist to figure out why: I wanted to see Clare.
I was still in awe that so much had changed so drastically in the little amount of time that it did. I mean, of course I wasn't in love with Clare, and I certainly wasn't stupid enough to think that this made me a cured man, but it was obviously a step in the right direction. Being friends with Clare had already made me happier- happier than I had felt in a year, and that had to count for something. So, I got ready for school with a much brighter outlook on being up this early than normal.
Apparently, my change in behavior was noticeable, because my mom eyed me funny as I breezed into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Eli," she said cautiously, looking at me as if I were a time bomb set to explode any minute.
'This could be fun,' I thought to myself. Out loud, I said, "Good morning, mom," and shot her the kind of smile that she hadn't seen light up my face in a long time. It worked; she was speechless, and stared at me with a flabbergasted look plastered on, her mouth hanging open just slightly.
"You seem to be in a…good mood," she remarked hesitantly.
"I am," I replied, matter-of-factly. My mom just nodded, still eyeing me tentatively as I packed my lunch. Before leaving I walked up to my mom and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Bye," I said, waving as I walked out of the house.
The last view I saw before I shut the front door behind me was a tiny, surprised smile on my mom's face. It felt good to make her happy; give her hope that I wouldn't be mourning Julia forever.
When I got to school I headed straight for my locker knowing I would find Clare at her own. Coincidentally our lockers were right next to each other. I reached our lockers just as she was closing hers and about to head to class. I yelled out to her, not wanting her to leave. "Missed you last night- was Twilight on TV?" I joked.
I was certainly not prepared for the response I got. "She thinks she's protecting me by lying," Clare started, the words flowing swiftly, "but she's just making it worse." Clare said this rant while still walking away from me. I caught up with her a grabbed her arm to get her attention. She spun to face me as soon as I touched her. The look on her face was heart breaking- she was just so worried.
I really wanted to understand, and to help, Clare, but I would need some clarification first. "Stop," I told her gently, "Rewind, and play."
Clare took a deep breath. "According to my mom," she began, "everything is fine between her and my dad, but anyone can see that it's not."
Parent drama was always a sticky situation. My parents were, amazingly, still happy and in love, so I had no personal experience, but I knew lots of kids that had to deal with that kind of thing. Parents fighting generally leads to one thing: "Do you think they're getting divorced?" I asked her.
Clare started freaking out even more, and I felt really bad for bringing it up. "Divorced!" She asked frantically, "My parents would never get divorced. My mom's just sad because my dad's always in a bad mood." It was probably a bad time to notice it, but Clare looked especially lovely. Her bangs were falling over her worried, ice-blue eyes. I wanted to reach over and brush them out of her face. 'Focus, Eli, Clare needs your advice,' I reprimanded myself. I wasn't usually this distracted; Clare did weird things to me.
"Well, have you told them how you feel?" I asked her, trying to help her work things out. Talking usually helped in any situation; that is if the other party is willing to listen.
"I've been trying," she admitted glumly, "but they don't wanna talk." No wonder Clare had been so stressed lately.
It felt nice to know that Clare trusted me enough to tell me all this. Two days ago we weren't even friends, but now I was happy that we were. I would have to thank Ms. Dawes later or throwing us together as English partners. 'English…,' I thought to myself, a stroke of brilliance hitting me. "You could write about how you're feeling in that letter for English class, kill two birds with one stone!" I offered her. It seemed like a helpful outlet for Clare's feelings.
She considered it for a moment, the gleam in her eye growing brighter as she warmed to the idea. "That's actually a really good idea," Clare asserted, smiling. I smiled back, knowing I was responsible for momentarily wiping the worry off her face. Clare had a gorgeous smile. Gosh, I was turning into such a sap.
Then, Clare unexpectedly stepped forward and threw her arms around my neck in a hug. I paused for a moment, shocked, and then let my hands slide around her waist. "Thanks, Eli," she said in my ear, her breath tickling my neck. "You're the best," she exclaimed, pulling away and starting down the hall. I stood there watching her go; I could still feel where Clare's arms had been locked around my neck a few seconds earlier.
"Move, Bat Boy," some student said, angry that I was standing in the middle of the hall. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"Original," I shot back sarcastically at the kid, smirking at him before heading off the class. Not everyone could be as sweet as Clare- that much was evident.
The rest of the morning passed by, uneventful. In English, Clare barely paid attention to the sub we had, scribbling furiously on scrap pieces of paper. I figured she was writing a draft of the letter, and I smiled to myself, glad that I helped her.
Then at lunch Clare ran up to me. "Want to eat together?" she asked hopefully.
"Well, I mean, if I don't get any better offers…" I joked with her. "Of course I would enjoy eating lunch with you." Clare smiled and led me over to an empty table.
"I really wanted to thank you again," Clare said as we sat down across from each other, much more serene than she was this morning. "I've been working on that letter all morning, and it's really taken a load off my chest. Getting all that out of my mind and on to paper was really cathartic and I have you to thank for it." She met my gaze before blushing, and looking away.
"You do seem less stressed," I noted, "and no thanks necessary. I'm just pleased I could help." I watched her blush deeper and unpack her lunch. "If you ever want to talk," I offered her, "I'll listen."
"I've noticed that," Clare said, chuckling. "I don't know why it is, but you're the only one I feel comfortable talking about my parents to. Which is weird, right? I mean, we barely know each other, but you're the only one listening; asking me how I feel. Ali is too caught up in her own life to notice, my mom insists on lying to me, and my dad is never home. It's amazing you know? Like you were put in my life at exactly the right time- God just knew I needed a friend like you."
I almost did a spit take. I knew the girl was religious, I had gathered as much from listening around, not to mention the purity ring and the cross necklace were dead giveaways, but what she just said was comical. As if there was some higher being up there assigning us friends as life went on- yeah right. "Erm, right," I coughed to mask my amusement.
"You know the listening thing is a two way street," Clare said, eyeing me suspiciously. "So, tell me something about you."
A million things came to mind. All those things, however, probably would have scared Clare off, and the religion thing aside, scaring her away was the last thing I wanted to do. So, I sifted through the faucets of my life that made me, well, me. I decided that, since she had brought it up, I might as well be honest about the whole religion thing. "For one thing," I started gently, "I'm an atheist."
Clare just nodded, taking it in stride. "Yeah, you didn't really seem religious," Clare said, laughing at the thought of me being a religious person. "I respect that, though," Clare said honestly, "as long as you can respect my beliefs." She shot one of her soul-warming smiles at me, and I melted a little. She was just such a sweet, caring girl, and nothing at all like Julia. It was just so weird, but I realized that I liked Clare better.
"I do," I told her truthfully, staring right into her eyes. "Respect you, that is," I clarified. She just started back, nodding slightly. As she did so, a strand of her hair fell over her eyes. I tentatively, and very slowly, reached across the table to push it aside. I heard Clare's breathing hitch as I tucked it behind her ear. I smiled to myself- after a year off the field, apparently I still had some game.
Just then the bell rang. I looked away from Clare, confused; time seemed to fly by whenever I spent it with Clare. We stood up, said our goodbyes, and walked to our different classes. The rest of the day I couldn't really focus in class; I had better things to think about.
I kept up my distracted behavior all through the evening, barely noticing anything. I couldn't even tell you what I ate for dinner that night; I was just so caught up in the simple bliss of not being miserable all the time.
Just as I was about to crawl into bed to get some decent rest, my cell phone rang. I glanced at the caller I.D. - Clare.
"Miss Edwards, I am shocked that a good girl like yourself would be up so late on a school night," I feigned surprise.
"Eli," Clare started, "It's only eleven 'o' clock."
I could almost see how her eyes would narrow at me. "You can read clocks too? You must be wonder woman!"
"I can, and will, hang up," Clare threatened.
"Sorry," I said, I really hadn't meant to upset her. "I'm just in a really good mood. What do you need?" I asked, not sure why she had called in the first place.
"It's done," Clare said excitedly, "and I have proofread it. Twice. I think it's finally just right."
"Is it safe to assume that you are talking about your letter?" I asked her.
She laughed. "Yes," the way she said it made me feel like 'duh' could have easily been substituted. "Will you read it tomorrow morning?" She asked hopefully.
"Anything you want, partner."
"Thank you," she chirped. "See you in English." I agreed, and hung up, lying back in my bed. When I closed my eyes I wasn't plagued with images of Julia- all I saw were a pair of warm, ice- blue eyes staring back at me. I smiled, and drifted off to sleep.
XXX
The next morning, Clare was nowhere to be found until English. I was sitting at my desk, and she marched right up to me, and handed me her letter. I read through it, and when I was finished, I perched on top of my desk so I could face Clare, who was sitting in her seat. "Wow," I asserted. "How did it feel to write this?" I asked, amazed that the same girl who wrote about gun control being good could come up with something this amazing.
"Good," Clare assured me, "really good. It was everything I wanted to say."
Just then, Ms. Dawes stormed in, and I slipped into my seat. Because there was a sub yesterday, Dawes hadn't yet reprimanded Clare and I for skipping the other day, but we both knew it was coming. Sure enough, that was the first thing Dawes touched on, "Miss Edwards, Mr. Goldsworthy, it's nice of you to join us today. Actually, I'm excited to hear your excuses for skipping last class. Let me guess! Violent food poisoning?" I rolled my eyes a bit. Ms. Dawes definitely had a taste for the dramatic sometimes.
"Actually," Clare told her sheepishly, "We were both working on our assignments."
"Original," Ms. Dawes said, clearly skeptical, "but it's not going to save you from detention." Bummer. Especially for Clare. Although, to be fair, it's not like I forced her to ditch school. I was just the jerk who suggested it in the first place. "Now," Dawes continued, "I want to hear those assignments. Miss Edwards, why don't you go first?"
"Me?" Clare asked timidly. I thought she was over the embarrassment of writing, or reading, something personal. I mean, she did shout in front of tons of strangers, so this should be a piece of cake.
"Yeah," Ms. Dawes told her confidently, "come on. Let's see if the assignment has helped with your writers block." I smiled- It sure had.
Clare walked to the front of the room, and fidgeted with her outfit nervously before looking at me. I gave her a small nod of encouragement, and she started to read. "'We need to talk' is a line that every kid dreads," Clare started, "but you know what's worse- waiting for it. Every minute of every hour of every day. Because I know it's coming- the reason you're fighting all the time. And I know I won't like the answer, but whatever you tell me can't be worse than the waiting. So, please, don't make me wait any longer…" She started to lose it; caught up in the raw emotion she had put into the letter. I was proud of her though, but I wasn't the one who mattered. Her mom needed to hear the letter, and I thought of one way I could arrange for that to happen…
"I'm sorry," Clare said to the class, taking a few deep breaths, "there's more."
Ms. Dawes cut her off. "That's alright. It's a good start. What say you, Eli?"
I didn't have to think very long about what I had to say, "I think it deserves a larger audience," I told Ms. Dawes, a devilish smile on my face, "like at the student showcase."
Ms. Dawes was immediately on board. "That's and excellent idea," she said barely above a whisper, "Clare?"
Clare looked sick to her stomach. 'Whoops,' I thought to myself. Oh, well, too late to take it back now. And Dawes seemed to adore the idea. "Well, it's kind of personal," Clare said looking right at me, and not Dawes. I raised my eyebrows, flashing Clare my devilish smile as well. That was kind of the point, now wasn't it?
Dawes was thinking the same thing. "But all great art is personal," she assured Clare, "and this is head and shoulders above your last work. I am signing you up after class!"
Clare came charging back to her desk; she was not happy. "My mom's going to be at the showcase," Clare whispered angrily at me before sitting down in her seat.
I turned in my seat to look Clare in the eye. "Which means she'll be forced to listen to you," I pointed out to her. I was only trying to help her out. "Isn't this what you wanted?" But the look on her face clearly showed Clare didn't know what she wanted right now.
Well, whether Clare wanted to do it or not, I had gotten her into it, which meant that I would be there to support her no matter what. I mean, what are friends for anyway?
Sorry this update took so long, my friends. I had a hectic past couple days, and was only able to write a little bit here and there. I hope you found this worth the wait, though. The last part of Better off Alone- Part 2 shall be up soon. Thanks again for reading. =)