I am sorry I couldn't post this yesterday as promised but I had trouble with my laptop! I hope you forgive me! ;) here's the new chapter for you! enjoy!!!

CHAPTER 3 – I'm here

Carlisle's POV

I drove towards the small house on the outskirts of town and parked in the garage. I had hardly turned the key in the ignition when Edward stormed into the garage, obviously angry. "You knew!" he spat at me. I slowly got out of the car and looked at him. I was confused. Knew what? I asked in my mind. Edward growled lowly. "The baby! Esme's son!" I swallowed. So he had found out about the baby, just like me and that meant Esme also knew… How is she? Is Esme… Edward snarled. "How do you think she is? She found out her son died days ago!" I lowered my gaze, feeling stupid for asking this and also sad. "How could you damn her to this life, when you knew?" Edward asked again, his voice full of hatred. "I didn't know." I defended myself. "I found out this night, during my shift. Do you think I would have sent you getting her things if I had known?" I asked bluntly. Edward took a deep breath and after some moments nodded. "Right, sorry… I think, I'm going hunting…" he said before her squeezed past me out the garage door.

I stood there in the garage, frozen. Then something reached my ears. Soft sounds, sounds that hurt me like no weapon could. Soft whimpers and sobs. Esme! I quickly threw my coat and my bag on a chair in the kitchen and rushed upstairs to her room.

I knocked carefully on the door. "Esme?" I asked lowly. No response. "Esme, please, let me in… I… please… let me talk to you… let me… I don't know, just… let me in…" I begged, standing in front of her door. There was no response, only shaking breaths and sobs coming from inside the room. To hear Esme in so much pain and not being able to do anything was tearing my heart apart. I grabbed the handle hard and tried to calm myself, thinking of something to say to comfort Esme while I longed to hold her in my arms and never let go.

Suddenly a cracking sound echoed through the house – the lock had broken in my grip.

Esme's POV

I heard a loud cracking coming from the door and a moment later the door swung open. Suddenly a memory shot through my mind. It was dark, there was someone else… Someone big and bulky, someone who frightened me. A terrible fear was nagging inside me. I instantly crawled in the far corner and tried to curl up in a small ball to shield myself though I didn't know why I did it. It was like an instinct. Alerts were going off in my head, telling me not to move, don't look up and do nothing provocative. I was sure, if my heart could, it would be beating furiously out of fear.

Carlisle's POV

I slowly pushed the door open and instantly saw how Esme crawled in the furthest corner away from me. Her whole body was tensed and it was easy to see she was afraid. I moved slowly and held my palms outstretched to her. "Esme, it's me, I won't hurt you…" I told her gently. She remained in the far corner of the bed but slowly looked up at me through her lashes. "It's alright…" I soothed her again. After a few moments Esme finally relaxed a little bit. "I'm sorry I scared you." I told her, not moving closer to her though I desperately wanted to. Esme only nodded and clutched the blanket tightly to her body. "I am deeply sorry for what happened to your son, I didn't know that…" I said lowly, sitting down on the wooden floor. Esme looked up. "You knew?" she croaked out and sobbed again. "I found out tonight, at the hospital, by accident…" I explained. Esme broke down in sobs and curled up in a ball on the bed. I looked at her and longed to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I didn't want to scare her. Still, I moved closer to her and wanted to touch her shoulder, but Esme flinched away. I watched in agony how her body shook in tearless sobs. I wished I could do or say something, but I didn't know what. I felt helpless, not knowing how to handle such a situation. "Esme…" I spoke softly. She buried her head in the pillow but actually spoke. "He was so tiny… so perfect…" Her voice was hoarse and interrupted by sobs the whole time. My heart was overflowing with grief and sorrow. "He was my angel… I loved him so much… when he got sick… I felt like I failed… at everything…" she whispered broken. "No…" I said. "No, Esme, you never failed… especially not your son… you loved him… you cared for him… he was very sick… it wasn't your fault…" I said. Esme looked up at me through her eyelashes, her eyes, though scarlet like every newborn's, looked extremely sad and pained. "Could you have saved him?" she asked. I sighed and shook my head, not looking at her. "No… I can't change small kids, it is against the rules… and his pneumonia was too bad… his body couldn't fight the infection…" Esme sobbed again. "See? I couldn't even care for my own son! I let him get a lung infection! I should have kept him warmer, in a better flat… I didn't even had money to pay for a doctor… or medicine…" I reached out to place my hand next to Esme's, offering the only form of comfort I could without scaring her it seemed. At first she flinched away, trying to avoid my contact, but then she realised I wasn't going to do more than placing my hand beside her. I wondered what got her so scared… Newborns were easily too scare but this wasn't normal newborn behaviour… Esme was much too afraid…

Very slowly Esme reached for my hand and grabbed it. A jolt of electricity ran through my body as our skins touched. We both flinched away. My breathing hitched, but I put my hand back next to Esme's hand. It hadn't been a bad feeling, more like warming my body up from the inside.

Esme took my hand again and this time she held on to it. The current was again running through my body, it left a tingling sensation inside me. Esme's body still shook with sobs and unshed tears but she was calmer, I thought. "It wasn't your fault, Esme. Never think that… You did everything you could… it is not your fault, please don't blame yourself." I whispered. She stayed silent.

"I did. Maybe you're right and his illness wasn't my fault, but because of me he never got a funeral… he got hastily buried in some burrow… no name, no one to remember him." I shook my head and started to rub circles on the back of Esme's hand with my thumb. "No. He wasn't buried… His body is still in the morgue… I arranged for it to remain there, when I found out today. He will get a proper funeral, I promise you that…" I said lowly. Esme nodded. "Thank you…" she said, looking into my eyes. I gently squeezed her hand.

The room was silent except for Esme's sobs now and then, but she had calmed down a lot. I really hoped my touch was helping her. My thumb was still rubbing circles over the back of her hand. Suddenly Esme spoke again. "Carl… Carly… I named him after you…" she whispered. I looked up. My throat was suddenly dry and I was sure my heart was almost starting to beat again. She had named her son after me? My mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to say… I had never felt like that before. I was deeply touched by Esme's words. She had remembered me all those years… she named her son after me… "Thank you…" I whispered hoarsely.

Esme's POV

I smiled lightly as I heard Carlisle mumble a "thank you." I could tell he was moved, hearing I thought of him when I named my son.

The silenced outstretched but it wasn't uncomfortable. My sobs slowly subsided. Carlisle was still rubbing circles on the back of my hand and I felt myself calming down. After a while Carlisle finally spoke again. "Do you want to go hunting?" he asked me. I shook my head. Hunting was the last thing on my mind right now, though the thought of it made my throat burn. But I simply couldn't hunt right now.

"Well, maybe you would like a complete tour of the house, I'm sure Edward hadn't showed you…" Carlisle suggested after a minute of thinking. I couldn't help but smile a little. He was so sweet, trying to cheer me up and get my mind on other things. "He hasn't…" I answered, though he didn't really have a chance to, I added in my head.

Carlisle gave me a small smile and offered me his hands. "Come on, then." He said. I slowly sat up and placed the baby blanket on the bed. Somehow I felt like a piece of me was missing when I didn't hold it any longer. I sighed lowly. Carlisle gave my hand a comforting squeeze and I smiled lightly. He was so caring.

I stood up and followed Carlisle out of my room. We stood in the hallway on the second floor and Carlisle led me towards a room on the left side but before we reached it I saw something on the opposite wall. A huge, very old wooden cross was hanging there. Its dark wood was a sharp contrast to the white wall. I stopped amazed. I hadn't expected this. And I wondered how it hadn't caught my eye before. I stared at it, trying to figure out what a cross like that did in this house. "Where…" I tried to ask, but Carlisle interrupted me. "It belonged to my father, he carved it himself. It hung in the church." I looked at Carlisle. "It is magnificent." I said. Carlisle nodded. "Thanks, it's the only thing I still have…" he mumbled. He probably hadn't meant for me to hear that. I suddenly felt sad for him. At least I still had some reminders of my past. Some personal things. He hadn't. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. Carlisle looked at me, his eyes shining with affection.

"Come on now, I'll show you my study." He said and opened the door on the other side of the hallway. "After you…" Carlisle said smiling. I lowered my head and stepped into his study. Carlisle was a real gentleman and I somehow felt intimidated by it. Like I wasn't used to it.

Carlisle's study looked like you imagined a library or the office of a professor. The walls were lined with bookshelves that held everything from medical textbooks to novels and books about other various topics like history, architecture, languages to just name a few. In the middle was a huge wooden desk on which various papers were spread out. I smiled. The desk looked a little messy. Carlisle had stepped behind me and watched me with a smile on his face. I turned around. The wall that wasn't covered by bookshelves held various paintings that seemed to be chosen randomly without an order. They were all from different artists, in different styles and there seemed to be no other connection visible. At least not to me.

"That's a Solimena!" I exclaimed astonished and stepped towards the large oil painting. Carlisle chuckled lightly. "It is. You are interested in arts?" he asked lowly. I turned around. "Yes. I used to draw a lot…" I told him as some more memories flashed before my eyes.

I saw myself reading in the candlelight in my room while everyone else was asleep… I sneaked into the library of my father and took his books away… I was drawing in the backyard…

"I remember… You were always surprising me… interested in art, reading Shakespeare…" he said softly. "Where did you get that from?" I asked Carlisle, again examining the Solimena. It looked like a scene from Greek mythology or something. There were four figures standing on a balcony. I looked a little closer at them and suddenly gasped. "That's you!" I said stunned and turned again to Carlisle. He smiled. "Yes, it is from my time in Italy. These pictures show my life…" he said slowly. "Solimena liked to use Aro, Caius and Marcus as models. He drew them like gods and this is the picture Aro gave to me when I left…" I told her. Esme smiled. "It is beautiful, really."

Esme turned away from the paintings and looked at the books in the shelves. "You have quite the collection…" she said, looking at me. "You are free to borrow any book you want." I told her. Esme nodded. "Thank you." She whispered as her slender fingers traced the spines of my books.

"Shall I show you the other rooms?" I asked her after a few minutes. "You can come back later to look for something to read…" Esme nodded. "Yes." she said. "Where does this door lead to?" she said and pointed to the door on the fight side of my room. "Well, that's my room. Come on…" I opened the door and Esme shyly went into my room.

Esme's POV

I entered Carlisle's room a little shy, feeling uncomfortable to intrude his privacy, but he didn't mind obviously. The room was not as big as the study, but more comfortable. The walls were a creamy white and the furniture was dark which made a nice contrast. There was a comfortable looking couch but no bed. "No bed?" I asked. Carlisle shook his head. "As I told you, we don't sleep, so I don't need a bed." He replied. I nodded. "Why is there a bed in my room then?" I asked. Carlisle grinned a little sheepishly. "Well, your room was our guest bedroom and the bed is part of the charade…" he explained. I nodded. After a few moments we again left Carlisle's room and he opened the door for me to go into the hall. "Over there, that's Edward's room…" I told Esme and pointed towards the left. Esme nodded. "Well, I think we won't go into Edward's room. I'm sure he will show you himself and it is also quite messy in there…" I said. Esme grinned. "Eh, yes, you already know the bathroom… so should we go downstairs?" Carlisle asked me. I nodded and followed him downstairs back into the living room.

On the couch the remnants of my hasty flight to my room were still visible. My clothes still lay on the couch, the box with my other things next to them, the two books of Shakespeare on top of it all.

Carlisle's POV

I looked towards the couch where Esme's things lay and spotted to old and battered copies of Shakespeare that looked quite familiar. I stepped closer and took one of the books. "You still have them…" I said astonished. I'd never thought I'd see these books again. I gave them to Esme as a present when I released her from the hospital. To know she treasured them all those years made me smile and feeling an unfamiliar tugging at my heart. "Yes… I liked to read them whenever I could…" she said. I nodded happily.

An awkward silence outstretched between me and Esme. I didn't know what to say to her, so I just looked to the ground, occasionally glancing at her. After a few moments Esme finally spoke. "Eh… I better get these things into my room…" she said and started picking up the box. "No, let me…" I quickly said and reached for her hand. Esme flinched and backed away from me, looking terribly frightened…

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