AN: I know I've been doing a horrible job on the updating recently and there is a reason for that. And that is, I am not writing ahead of where I'm typing anymore. It's not on purpose, I would much rather be writing chapter 20 right now but alas, I am only writing chapter 18. Same story goes for "Once upon a midnight dream". And then I just forgot about "Here, at the Other Side".
Anyway, hopefully I won't keep you waiting for more than a week for the next update, but I can't make promises.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lysol (you'll read why later). The reason I don't put a disclaimer on every chapter is because I don't own KH and I never will. It's not going to change, so I feel it only needs to be said once. (Although with any luck I may own the game soon, and play it for the first time, since my brother gave me his PS2).
Chapter 17 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus
I was abruptly woken from my blissful sleep by Axel's thrashing. He'd never, in all my time with him, had a bad dream before. They way he was thrashing around on his stomach, letting small whimpers escape him was frightening me.
I dragged my tired body closer to Axel and placed a comforting hand on his back, gently rubbing. "Shh…Axel, it's just a dream." I whispered running my hand along his spine. His movements decreased but he was still whimpering. Carefully maneuvering myself to avoid aggravating his broken ribs, I began kissing a trail up his back and onto his neck, where something caught my eye.
Pulling my head back I moved Axel's hair. The moonlight shinning through his window lit up a tattoo on the back of his pale neck. ROXAS. I allowed Axel's hair to fall back into place as all his movements and whimpering ceased. His hands were gripping tightly at his pillows and he moaned before painfully rolling himself over, while I silently watched. Once he managed to get himself on his back he opened his eyes and confusion fell across his face, "Roxy?"
"You were having a bad dream, I tried to wake you up." I said.
"Oh," He nodded, "did it work?" Axel asked sleepily. I couldn't suppress a laugh. Damn he was out of it.
"I guess not." I joked at Axel's oblivious question. Apparently he wasn't completely awake yet. "When did you get the tattoo on the back of your neck?" I asked curiously.
"Um…please don't think I'm a lunatic. I got it after I learned your name." Axel said, his voice becoming more awake.
"Why?"
"You gave me something to live for. Before you came I was just going through the motions. I wasn't really living. Then you came, and you made me feel again." Axel explained before I smiled and placed my lips on his.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Roxy."
"What was your dream about?" I asked before pressing our lips together again.
"Xemnas." Axel answered against my lips. I pulled away making him pout, which was absolutely adorable.
"About what he did to you?" I question further.
"No." He said before agonizingly lifting himself up to crash his lips to mine again. For a brief moment I forgot what we were talking about and kissed him back passionately. When I did come back to my senses I pushed his head back to the pillows.
"Then what was it about?" I asked curiously. When I shifted my body around Axel the moonlight showered across his face and I saw tears forming in his eyes. "Axel?" I'd only seen him cry once before and that was when he thought he was losing me.
"I um…" Axel wiped the tears away before they could fall. "It was a bad, bad dream." He paused in thought. I almost thought he wasn't going to continue, but then, "I dreamt that Xemnas had found you and I tried to go save you. I almost got to you, almost, but then the heroin held me back. Xemnas started…he was doing things to you, and I just watched. I did nothing, even though my head was telling me to move, my body was being held back by the weight of the heroin. I couldn't' help you. I let him…" Axel choked back a sob and turned his head away from me. I brought my hand up, gently turning his head to face me. Then I slowly kissed each one of his tears away.
"Never be ashamed to cry, especially in front of me." I said nuzzling my head next to his.
"I'm just not used to it. This is only the second time I've cried since my mom died." Axel revealed.
"Wow, that's…that's ten years. I'm sorry."
"For what?" Axel asked as he let his fingers trace my lips.
"I've made you cry twice in only a few days when you haven't cried in ten years." Roxas explained.
"Roxas, I've wanted to be able to cry for ten years. I should be thanking you. So don't apologize." Axel paused for a moment before continuing, "I love you so much it hurts to see you hurt, or even to think about the possibility of you hurting. And when I think about losing you it feels like I could break into a million little pieces that only you can put back together."
"I know exactly how you feel." I said laying my head down on his shoulder. That was exactly what I felt like when I thought he was cheating on me. He summed it up perfectly. Axel sighed, laced his hand through my hair, and smiled at me.
"So you don't think I'm insane for feeling like this?" Axel asked.
"I would be a hypocrite if I said I did." I responded and then a thought crossed my mind. "Didn't you feel like this with Saix?" Axel's face became saddened.
"I loved Saix, but I'm coming to realize that I love you more. I feel bad for saying that, but loving you feels so right. It feels good. With Saix I felt he sometimes indulged me because of what I'd been through and it was always like he was being careful with me, like I was breakable. And now I'm afraid I'm making that same mistake with you."
"I like how you treat me. You always know the right things to do and say. I need that Axel, I need you."
"I think that was another problem me and Saix had. I needed Saix but he didn't need me. But with us, you and me, I need you just as much as you need me. I think that's' why I love you more. I don't feel like a burden with you."
"You're definitely not a burden. You're a wonderful gift that I never want to let go of." I said running my finger across his bottom lip. Axel smirked before poking his tongue out and capturing my finger in his mouth. I couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped me before Axel released my finger with a final lick and brought my lips back to his.
Eventually, as we cuddled together in bed, we found ourselves drifting off to seep, once again. My final thought before I fell asleep was, 'I hope he'll be okay.'
oOo
a few hours earlier
I rolled off of Demyx to lie next to him on the kitchen table. His eyes were glazed over and he was still panting heavily. It was fortunate that Axel and Roxas had decided to leave or they would have gotten quite the show. Demyx rolled onto his side, to face me, and smiled, "You're going to need a lot of Lysol to clean this table." He commented with a hint of mischief in his voice.
I shook my head and ruffled his already messed up mullhawk. "Maybe I'll have you scrub it clean. Then I'll have the privilege of watching your ass shake with your vigorous movements."
"Demyx beamed, "Then we'll get to make it messy all over again!"
"And the vicious cycle will repeat itself."
"Well, I won't complain about that." Demyx said, leaning down and capturing my lips. My tongue quickly invaded my lover's mouth. I still woke up everyday utterly surprised and completely grateful that I still had the adorable blond. Eight years and we were still going strong. I could never see myself with someone else. The reason it surprised me was because we were indeed, high school sweethearts. I was Demyx's first boyfriend and he was my second. Somehow we were just meant to be together and we were lucky enough to find each other at a young age, because now we have that many more years to spend together. Demyx gave my bottom lip one last lick before pulling away. "Do you think Axel and Roxas will be okay?"
"Remember when you got mad at me a few years ago because I said I didn't think Axel and Saix were meant to be together. I said there was someone better out there for Axel."
"Yeah."
"I think Roxas is that someone. I'm not saying Axel and Saix didn't love each other, but I don't think they ever could have achieved the level of love that I am sure Axel and Roxas will soon, if they haven't already, experience. And I believe when you're with the one you're meant to be with, everything will be okay. As unproven and unscientific as that is, I truly believe it. How can I not after eight year with you." Demyx smiled that adorable smile I could never get enough of, and I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before continuing. "They have a rough road ahead of them, but I think they'll make it as long as they're together, and as long as they have us to help them on their way."
Demyx nodded his agreement happily before resting his head on my chest. 'I love you so much Zexy, and I'm never gonna stop."
"Me neither Dem I'll love you even after forever."
oOo
I awoke, way too early, to an agonizing pain in my ribcage. I carefully unwrapped myself from Roxas, without waking him, and painfully rolled myself off the bed. Drugs or alcohol would be lovely right now. I sighed and scolded myself for that thought as I shuffled into the bathroom and lightly closed the door.
I stared into the sink, mentally preparing myself, before facing my reflection in the large mirror. Gods, I looked like the wrath of all gods. I had avoided looking in the mirror yesterday, and now I'm grateful I did. I probably wouldn't have been able to handle it yesterday, hell, I didn't know if I could handle it today.
In the mirror I could see that my face was littered with black and blue bruises cause by Xemnas' lackeys. I saw the bites Xemnas left on my neck, the gouges he'd put in my body with his nails, and the bruises from his hands griping too tightly. My body began to involuntarily shake as I remembered how I received each mark marring my pale skin. Then I closed my eyes, willed the horrid images of Xemnas away and focused on the memory of Roxas licking each of my wounds, and cuddling with me for hours in the tub.
With renewed determination I opened my eyes and looked back at my reflection once more. After a few deep breaths there was no more shaking, only Roxas' strength holding me together. With my confidence back in check I brought my wrist up and gently prodded it with one of my fingers. That was too much.
My knees became weak and I crashed to the floor. My hands clutched at my hair tugging hard as I held back my screams. It was happening all over again. Xemnas was ramming himself into me over and over causing the ropes to pull at my wrist and ankles. His nails were digging themselves into my back and stomach; his teeth were buried in my neck. A needle was being shoved into my skin. Everything was happening again, and I tried as hard as I could to hold my screams in.
AN: So this chapter actually has a theme, kind of. The purpose of it was to show that Saix and Axel's relationship was not as perfect as Axel thought. Don't be mistaken, Axel and Saix did love each other but it was more of a first love, type of love. I tried to explain it to the best of my ability.
I know the Zemyx scene was a little corny; maybe, it depends on the reader's opinion, I guess. But I wanted to show how strong Demyx and Zexion's relationship is, even after eight years together. Plus, I got to work in one the names of one of my favorite bands into it. After Forever.
Once again, if you have not read "One Fine Melody" that is the story of how Zemyx got together. I have recently edited it again. I changed a few lines and added one that I somehow skipped the first time I wrote it. Hopefully that scene makes more sense now.
Sorry about the short length of this chapter, and the cliffhanger, since I doubt I'll get Chapter 18 up before next week.
Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts, I appreciate every single one.