A/N Thanks to my sweetie beta, Annabella Laurie and thanks for reading and reviewing!!
S
Meyer owns all
Chapter 7- Three's Company
Bella
This was it; the last box and I would be done with packing and could finally relax. I shuffled through the drawer of my chest, separating what to keep and what to toss. All I really kept in here was my pictures and small mementos of the past years. It was really just all junk, but some of this junk was priceless to me.
I rifled through all the concert and movie stubs that Jake and I had accumulated over the years. I didn't know why I kept this stuff; I really wasn't that sentimental over spare pieces of paper and I liked my pictures better. Of course, I never took time to put any of them in frames or photo albums; I guess I just threw them in this drawer, thinking one day I would actually do something with them. Alice always made fun of me, saying I took more pictures then a tourist but never had anything to show for it. She was so wrong in my eyes. My pictures were my sanctuary, my little piece of heaven that I could keep close by if I lost my way. I would look at them and certain pictures would remind me who I was and what decisions I made. They felt like my little security blanket or windows into my soul. That sounds so pretentious and I might puke from all the self discovery I was doing, but when I looked at this drawer, it actually contained my whole life. So pretension, it was easily dealt with.
Photography should of have been my profession. Really, this drawer was stuffed to the gills with shots from road trips to Memphis, Cubs games, and the time Alice and I stood in line to see Oprah- just to name a few…
I was definitely keeping all the pictures.
They were mostly of Jake, Alice, and I doing everything and anything Chicago had to offer.
Taking a stack, I started transferring them into the small box at my feet. I tossed the ticket stubs; Jake wouldn't mind if I did, I think. I never really thought to ask him if that stuff mattered to him. You would think after so many years together I would know. I just saved them out of habit.
There was my fake plastic ring Jake got out of one of those quarter machines. I might have only agreed to marry Jake on New Years, but it wasn't the first time he asked me. He was pretending, but looking back, his intentions were quite clear, even if I didn't want to see then. I think Jake knew he wanted to be with me from the moment he saw me. He would never admit it then because of Edward. I foolishly was an open book to Jake in the beginning of our friendship. I told him everything about Edward and my intentions to be with Edward again, but it didn't deter Jake at all when he decided to pursue me.
I put the plastic ring in the box. I would keep it.
Mostly, everything in here was good memories that made me smile.
I was almost to the bottom of the drawer and I could tell the pictures were getting older and the junk was less sentimental. I wasn't shocked that I would find pictures of Edward. I knew they were there lying in the bottom, on purpose. Sitting there, smiling right at me was Edward, wearing a white tee shirt and black jeans. He looked a little sloppy and his hair was everywhere, but his eyes shone bright green against the lush background of the forest near my house. Edward had his arm wrapped around my waist and I was wearing dark denim trouser jeans with a blue and white striped boat neck top. I looked like a sailor, but just lacked the funny white hat while Edward looked the epitome slacker cool. But it didn't matter; we didn't have a care in the world that day Charlie took the picture of us. It was the day we left for our trip to San Francisco. One of the best trips of my life. With his arm wrapped around me, I remember feeling so secure and warm. It was the best feeling in the world. Never had I been happier then on that day. Everything about this picture spelled freedom to me. Breathing it in one more last time, I put the picture down.
I sighed.
Going through each picture one by one, there seemed to be a theme to them all. Edward was touching me in one form or another. No matter what picture it was. His hand or arm was around my shoulder or touching my back. How could I never notice this before? But when I looked back at it, I was also clinging to him. I went back into the box I already stored the 'Jake' stack of pictures and went over them with a fine toothed comb. In most pictures, Jake was by my side, but no contact, or if there was contact, it was something stupid like giving me bunny ears or throwing an arm around my neck. It didn't seem like I was trying to be connected to him at all in these, unless you included the forced posed pictures with our arms intertwined. What did all that mean anyway? Only that Jake and my relationship was completely different then Edward's and I. I didn't have to read more into it if I didn't want to. It would only bring on more regret and the meaningless heartache I'm sure would accompany it.
"Stop it Bella." I seethed at myself.
His face was beautiful. Edward looked more like a man in these pictures than I remembered. At the time, Edward was just the boy next door for me. He was my best friend, but that all changed on our trip to San Francisco. I changed during that trip too. It was our first time. So it's no wonder that after that trip I saw him as a man who I now lusted for, not just the boy next door. It was like overnight he grew strong and protecting. It scared me too. I was afraid I would lose the boy that loved me for me. After that trip, it helped make my decision to go away to school easier and harder. Renée got inside my head at the right time. I should have never listened to her.
Edward looked as happy in these pictures as did I. It really hurt to try and remember how he was before things changed for us. He distanced himself from me for so long, I was starting to forget what made me love him so much. News Years seemed like complete uninhibited lust at the beginning, but something much more afterwards. It was more intense then ever with us. I couldn't control myself or think straight, and Edward knew it too. Maybe he took advantage, I don't know. All I knew was that he came to me and it took every ounce of strength I had left to resist him and to tell him I didn't love him.
Putting my hand on my forehead, I felt like I was getting warm just thinking about that night with Edward. Maybe it was just pure animal lust that made me go to him that night. Lust makes you do things without thinking. I'm just glad we didn't make love outside the bar. I would really hate myself more if we did that, but I might not be engaged to Jake if we did do it.
But we didn't and I am.
I shouldn't dwell on the past too much, but I knew I would when I got to this drawer. That's why I saved it for last when I knew Jake wasn't going to be around. I might give myself away that I wanted to remember Edward more then I should, but that wasn't my focus now. Jake wanted me to set a date and I need to really think about it.
I still have my reservations about rushing into marriage. We've only been engaged for a couple of months and have plenty of time to iron out all the kinks. So definitely, when I get back home, I would start to think more about setting a date with Jake. Right now, I just wanted to get this stuff packed away and be done with it. But looking at these pictures just made me think of Edward and everything that happened between us.
I made a promise to myself the night Jake proposed that Edward was going to stay in the past. I had to stick to my promise.
I went over and picked up the trash can, setting it on the floor next to the box I was already filling. Every picture that had Edward in it, I pitched. Every little thing I kept that Edward gave me, I pitched.
I pitched the picture of us from prom.
I pitched the leather cuff I had that matched the one I gave him for his birthday.
I pitched the stupid Haight/Ashby bumper sticker I bought from our trip to San Francisco.
I pitched it all.
I let the now filled trash can sit next to the dresser as I closed the box with 'Jake' things and put it aside, ready for the moving van.
Now there was no sign that Edward has been in my life. I can go back home and breathe easier knowing that I let the past go. Erasing him from my life was a lot easier then I thought it would be. I mean they are only pictures, right? I could have a fire tomorrow and they would all be gone anyway.
Needing to get on with my day, I picked up the box on my way to the living room.
On my way out the door, I stopped and kicked the trash can, whispering, "Thanks for the memories."
How's that for closure? I wiped my hands of the whole thing.
***
"Alice!" I screamed as I walked into our now cramped apartment.
Looking around with my mouth gaped open, I had to double check to see if I was in the right place. I went back to the door and looked at our number. 1A was nailed up in nice brass symbols right underneath the knocker. Good, I got the right place, but by the looks of things Alice has been busy. Very busy.
Narrowing my eyes in anger, I scanned the room wishing that Alice would have just listened to me for once in her life. This morning I left to do a couple of errands and now I return to find my personal space invaded by streamers and balloons hanging off the ceiling. She must have worked like an animal because I wasn't gone that long. I picked up the moving van and bought some necessitates for the trip like food for the ride and maps.
I put my hand in my hair and ran my fingers through the knots, trying not to get more aggravated as I looked around.
Our furniture no longer formed the nice cozy L shape around the TV; it was now pressed against the adjoining walls, leaving an open space in the middle for god only knows what. I'm hoping she's not thinking of dancing.
Lord, help me if Alice wants me to dance tonight.
How many people were coming anyway? I'm sure Jake, Alice, Ben, Angela, and I didn't need all that space for our party, which only confirms in my mind that this 'party' was going to be of epic proportions. This was so 'Alice like,' but I was hoping for small and quaint, not shoulder-to-shoulder-loud-drunken-please-kill-me-now-debauchery that I'm sure was on plate for tonight.
In the kitchen, the table was set up with plates, utensils, and the most awful hot pink napkins. Looking around, I realized that hot pink seemed to be a running theme in the whole apartment.
The tablecloth-hot pink, the balloons and streamers-hot pink, cups, plates, the cake, all were bright-ass-Alice-is-so-not-my-best-friend-anymore-hot-pink!
Does she even know me? Haven't I lived with Alice for the last five years? I was convinced this was her form of medieval torture, forcing me to fit into every stereotype of the college student. Even though I had graduated, she wasn't about to let me leave without one last college experience that I so dreaded from the first day I started.
I didn't bother with the long graduation ceremony this time around. I convinced my professors that I needed to take my masters in an accelerated program in order to get back to Charlie faster. They understood and designed a special program to fit my needs. I worked like a dog for the past year with my only goal in mind, to get home for Charlie. Celebrating my achievement didn't seem like the right thing to do at this moment and walking at graduation wasn't my top priority. I was done with school and done with Chicago. The swan song was ending and this party wasn't a graduation party, but a simple get together that I only agreed to, knowing I would never step foot in Chicago again. So when Alice cheerfully orchestrated this brilliant affair, I was apprehensive but went along knowing it would make her happy and damn her for promising me margaritas!
She knew my weakness all too well. She could just flash an iced top shelf in my direction and I was Play-Doe for her to mold. Alice was a silly girl with big eyes and a spunky attitude; she was also accustomed to getting her way. Whether I liked it or not.
Hot pink is by far my most hated color. I was an earth tone kinda girl. I wore black a lot and never once have I purchased anything remotely in the same color family as hot pink. I even stopped wearing red since New Years because it reminded me too much of the night with Edward. Just peering into my closet, you would never find bright nor racy items. I was simple in nature and liked simple things. My clothes didn't speak to me like Alice said hers did. Hot pink was definitely not in my wardrobe even though I could rifle off the exact 'pink' garments that Alice had. She was a slave to color and it surprised me she even owned anything black or brown. I still liked borrowing clothes from her within reason though, and I wore them proud because she was proud to dress me. I only really wore her simple black or red dresses, but hot pink, not my thing. I didn't like to wear it and definitely not see it strewn all over our apartment.
The room looked like it was painted in Pepto.Maybe if more of our things were not packed away, it wouldn't look so… pink. I mentally pumped myself up.
Alice will not die tonight because I will miss her too much in the morning… But she will pay, oh yes, she will pay… dearly.
She was out to claim and conquer and perhaps even kill me tonight in order for me to have a good time. I'm sure Jake was eating this up too. Or else he was washing his hands of the whole thing. Whatever his involvement was, he was getting it too, just for the lone fact he knew about this party and had no desire to stop it. Sometimes he was just as bad as Alice; they certainly could be partners in crime when they wanted to be, especially when I was the target.
Glancing over on the patio just to the left of the kitchen, sat a rather large keg, cooling itself in a large plastic tub full of ice.
A keg?
Really, a whole keg?
Not a pony keg?
A keg?
It amused me a little because I hated beer. Alice had better keep her end of the bargain and have a tub of margaritas at my ready.
I sighed.
Again I asked myself, how many people are going to show up here? Our place was not that big and I didn't have that many friends. I was starting to think this party wasn't just for me, more likely just an excuse to have a party. Not really what I wanted to do the night before I left. Good thing Emmett was coming early in the morning so I wouldn't have to clean up after this monstrosity.
I put my head in my hands and let out a couple of fake sobs, playing it up in case Alice could hear me. Peaking through my fingers, I turned around again to survey the damage. This apartment was definitely going to be one big hot pink kegger mess with - looking over at the kitchen island - chips and dip. At least she remembered the kind of chips I liked. She won't suffer a painful death, but maybe I can make her beg for mercy and hold her make-up hostage.
"Alice! You better show your pretty face or I'm going to rip all this down!"
Crickets.
I walked to her bedroom door and pushed it open. Her room looked much the same as mine, filled to the brim with boxes. She was moving back to Portland next week. Tonight was bittersweet to us both because it would be the last time we would spend it in the same city. We would be relatively close, but it would be hard when your best friend is so far away. Going back home for me wasn't really a happy occasion. I had so much baggage to deal with, Charlie's health, the wedding date, Edward. I was just thankful that Rose was still in Forks. I had a feeling I was going to need her.
Alice was nowhere to be seen, so I tried the bathroom thinking it was late enough for her to be primping herself for tonight.
No Alice. The hair dryer was even cold.
Checking my room, it all still looked the same as this morning and still no sign of Alice.
Walking back out into the kitchen, feeling hungry all of a sudden I took a chip from the bowl on the island. I almost had the chip in my mouth when the front door flew open and Alice floated in carrying a large bag.
She saw me quickly. "Isabella Marie Swan, you put that chip down!"
Just in spite I chomped down hard on the potato chip trying to make as much crunch as possible.
"Bella, you're not supposed to eat the snacks before the party!" Alice flew to my side and took the bowl from the counter top hiding it under her arm.
With a hand on my hip, I tried to reason with her. "It's just a chip, Alice."
"Bella the party is going to start in an hour, you need to get dressed and make yourself look..." Alice eyed me up and down. "…decent."
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Looking down, I was going to wear what I had on, jeans, a fitted tee, and chucks. I didn't think this was going to be a fancy party.
"I'm comfortable." I shrugged my shoulders.
Scrunching her face Alice placated, "Bella, you look like you have been packing all day."
"I have been packing all day..." Trying to change the subject, I added, "and when did you do all this?" I waved my hand around in the air indicating to the amount of pink in the room. "Alice, why is it so pink?"
"I did it when you left. It's not much really." Smiling at her handy work, "The pink, well that was for my own amusement and a little bit of revenge." She grinned knowingly.
"Revenge?" I questioned, trying to grab the chip bowl from her hands. Alice tugged her arm, bowl in hand, away giving me the evil eye while letting a couple of chips fall to the ground.
"For moping around here all week! I swear Bella; it's not the end of the world to be going home. Maybe when you get back, things will work themselves out for the better," she ended vaguely.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
Acting dumb, but very in the know as to what she was getting at, I continued. "Enlighten me." I tilted me head waiting.
Alice sighed. "You're gonna have to face it sooner or later. I mean he lives in the same town as you. Isn't Forks like population 12 or something?"
"Alice," I breathed switching my stance from foot to foot, getting very uncomfortable.
"What? Why can't we talk about this? You have been shut tighter then a Fort Knox since Delany's. You don't even talk to me about it. I know you Bella, you're freaking out, but you're putting up a wall and it's only going to hurt you and Jake."
"This has nothing to do with him." I replied quickly almost cutting her off.
"Bullshit!" She countered crossing her arms.
"Shut up!" I half shouted
"Do you think I wouldn't know why you accepted Jake's proposal on the same night Edward came here? I love Jake, Bella, I really do, but you know it's not right. I know it's not right. The only person who doesn't know it is Jake."
Turning my back, I didn't want her to see the admission on my face. I know I have been convincing myself for a long time, but this wasn't the same. I loved Jake and really did want the best for us. If marrying him was the best, then I would. I could live with myself later.
"I don't love him, Alice." I didn't know if I meant Jake or Edward when I said that. It just flew out of my mouth before I could think of a reason to the thought.
"I know." She turned me back around, looking deep into my eyes, "You need to tell him regardless."
Call it a friend thing or telepathy, but I knew Alice wasn't going to say whom I should tell and her tone strongly impressed that I needed to make that decision soon. She didn't know that as of this morning I placed closure signs all over the place. I placed them on my heart and my mind and even in the wastebasket, but throwing away pictures wasn't complete closure until I actually made a stand and let Edward go.
"Why does this have to be so hard?" My eyes started to sting and I knew tears would come if I didn't compose myself enough to will them away.
"It's life, my dear." She replied rolling her eyes while she stood next to me rubbing my back.
"Love and loss go hand and hand. If you want to have the love you had again, you might have to lose something you hold too precious." I hated when she was being cryptic. I really wanted her to come out and tell what to do, but that wouldn't be Alice. That would be Edward; he had that bad habit of word vomit. She was letting me figure myself out, helping me in her own way.
"I don't know where to start first." I felt tired all of a sudden and wanted to lie down. I just realized that this day was going to last forever.
"Well, maybe when you get home, you and Edward can patch things up, for Charlie." She took a step back and popped another chip in her mouth. Chewing with her mouth open, she wiggled her eyebrows and grinned.
Leaning on the island, I took the chip bowl away from her, taking a bite. "We will never patch things up Alice. There is too much… history to get over. I will be cordial for Charlie's sake but I doubt we can go back to being any kind of friends." I needed to work on my closure better.
"You never know Bella, people change." She took the bowl back and set it down. "Where's Jake anyway? I thought he was going to be here early to help."
"He had to work late, but he's going to be here around eight with Leah."
Leah and Jake were in the same internship program and became fast friends over the past year. Jake insisted that she was just a friend, but I felt at times when she was over at the apartment she looked at him a little too long and a little too hard. She studied him and his movements, like someone who had a crush or unrequited love. Jake seemed oblivious but I noticed. A girl notices those kinds of things when it comes to her man. Leah and I did have some things in common. She was from and used to live on the Indian reservation outside of Forks, but I never knew her growing up.
"I hate Leah, she's such a bitch." Alice complained, taking a chip and popping it in her mouth. "I really don't understand why Jake puts up with her… or you for that matter." She laughed.
Gently pushing Alice, "Hey now! Don't lump me into that category. Leah's okay. I mean, at least she's not going to be around much longer." Leah was staying here in Chicago after the internship was done. She still had another year to go before graduation.
"But then she's moving back to Forks, so you're going to be your own episode of Three's Company. Are you going to be Janet or Chrissy?" She tapped her chin teasing.
"Shut up! I'm so not Chrissy and I'm way hotter then Janet!"
"Mrs. Rooper then?" Alice retorted much to my chagrin. "Wait, you're more like Joey."
"Joey?"
"Yes, Dawson's Creek. You loved Dawson your whole life, always sneaking into his bedroom, but have a love-hate relationship with Pacey, where you fought all the time but had incredible attraction, you can't resist him. You're torn, but we all know how the final turns out."
"Are you trying to compare that to Jake, Leah, and I because I don't think that's working. That's more like Jake, Edward and I. Which makes Jake the Dawson and Edward the Pacey and I don't see how that's like my life, which is now confusing me. Because if you are involved, then what are you in this equation, Jen?" I can't believe Alice was comparing my life to a TV show. I put my hand on my hip and continued. "Didn't she die at the end?"
Alice closed her eyes.
"Okay, so that was a bad analogy. Your life can't be compared to one of the best teen psycho babble dramas of all time. Your life is one big love triangle. All I'm saying is three's a crowd; take it how you want."
"I know that Jake and Leah are friends so it's okay with me. No love triangle to worry about." I replied plainly.
"I hope she knows that." Alice said curtly as we both reached in to the chip bowl again.
"Just don't be Mr. Furley." Alice joked and looked down at our now empty chip bowl. "I can't believe I ate all of that!" she shrieked, rubbing her stomach. "I feel me getting fatter! What is wrong with you, why didn't you stop me?"
I smirked, using her own words, "For my own amusement and a little bit of revenge." I plucked another chip and savored every bit as it melted in my mouth.
"See if you get my present I just bought you then!" Alice picked up the package I forgotten she brought in with her and waved it in front of my face, drawing me to curiosity.
She knew I couldn't resist knowing what it was, but I would still be mad she bought me anything at all.
"Present?" I asked with a raise of my brow.
"I got you a little something I knew would come in handy tonight." She giggled handing me the large bag.
I opened it up and took out the cardboard box with no markings.
"What is it?"
"Open it!" Alice started rocking back and forth in excitement.
I broke the tape holding together the cardboard folds. It was just like a scene out of Pulp Fiction, when anyone opened the brief case and a brilliant light shown on their face. This gift was definitely my bright light, especially for tonight.
I pulled the large appliance from the box; with all its glory and wonder, the thing seemed to call to me in the most seductive voice.
Bella… oh Bella… You know you want me. Plug me in and turn me on
"Alice you didn't?" I was shocked. She spent some cool cash on me and I didn't get her anything.
"I did and you will like it and not bitch." Scolding me, knowing how much I hated when she spent money on me, which was often.
I let the box drop to the floor, revealing my new Margaritaville DM1000 Frozen Concoction Maker. Home of the best margaritas around. Now the party didn't seem so bad after all, I could rightfully booze myself into a heavy stupor with this thing.
"I think I love you Alice!" I hugged the thing with a goofy grin spreading across my face.
"I hope you remember that tomorrow," she replied sadly. I was too enamored with my new gift that I let whatever she meant slide.
"Hey, I'm just psyched to see Emmett. It's been forever and I can't believe he volunteered to come with me. Charlie must be paying him or something." I joked, thinking back to when I last saw Emmett. It was one of my trips back to take care of Charlie and he and Rose came by to visit.
"Um, yeah… Emmett. I remember him. Can't wait to see him to!" Alice gave a weak grin.
"Now stop gushing about your new shiny toy and get ready." Alice whizzed past and headed to my room. "I know since you packed a lot of your things away, you can wear one of my dresses!" She exclaimed. "You can wear the red one I just bought."
A dress. Ugh! And a red one too.
"Alice you know I don't wear red anymore."
"Well sugar, if you want some closure, your wearing red." Smacking my butt as she walked behind me, "Now get in the bathroom, I have a lot of work to do."
I groaned.
Time to commence beauty torture.
***
Edward
I couldn't see her from where I was parked, but I knew she was in the swarm of bodies smashed in their little apartment. Alice and Bella lived on the first floor and had a nice size patio attached, allowing people to enjoy the night air. They were also doing keg stands. I never really understood the practice. If you just drink enough, you get just as drunk just as quick. No need to risk bodily harm balancing yourself over a fucking keg. This made me not miss that fact I didn't go the whole college route, but seeing all these people my same age, I couldn't help but feel 20 years older than they. I had no care in the world tonight to bother them, just to watch. I was a little envious; they were able to be as free as they wanted, not thinking about the future or anything in particular, just getting completely shit faced.
I had nothing else to do tonight other than drive around in the butt ass ugly rental I got from the airport. Whoever thought to make cars teal, needed to have their head checked. But I couldn't be picky, the car was serving its purpose tonight and right now it was sitting my happy ass down the street from Bella and Alice's place. Making it more comfortable to stalk the premises without being noticed. No one would know Edward Mason would drive this piece of shit. I had better taste then that. This car was the perfect disguise for my late night shenanigans.
Going to a hotel tonight was out of the question. I knew I wasn't going sleep; so I thought earlier, might as well see where the teal beast takes me. It drove me straight here with only one stop to get some food. I was so fucking predictable. I hadn't even called Jess yet to let her know I had landed safe. Would she even answer the phone? I wanted to find out, but every time I looked at my phone, I either chickened out or made up an excuse not to call.
Ahh, it's late.
She's probably in bed.
She could be working.
Maybe we can have some phone sex. Keep the mantra going, Eddie…That one sucked.
I'll call her in the morning after I stalk Bella all night...I winced at myself; I'm so sick in the head.
"Yep Edward, still a prick." I moaned, hitting myself in the forehead.
I must have 'fucked-dumb-ass-shithead' stamped on my forehead, I felt like I did.
There was no sense in me being here. I rubbed my forehead in ill hopes of wiping the imaginary stamp off. My hand felt wet and I realized I was sweating. Rolling down the windows, I could hear the loud music and chatter coming from the apartment. I have been a cop long enough to know how far to stay back to go unnoticed, but tonight I was a little closer, too close for comfort. I just wanted to see her once before I left. I wanted to see the Bella that was carefree and happy just one more time before I fucked it up tomorrow with my piss poor attitude and condescending accusations.
I caught a bit of red.
The fabric swished around an ominous person standing by the front window. I strained my neck higher to see more clearly. The red came back maneuvering around a couple on the patio. It was the same red of the last time I saw her.
The red peaked in in and out between the keg stands and people milling about the patio.
It was Bella, I knew it.
There was a very large jock type of guy blocking my view of the red.
I needed the red.
Then as my silent prayers were answered the jock moved and a beam of moon light shown brightly down on the red, on Bella.
The air started to escape my lungs. I couldn't take my eyes away, never getting enough of the red.
She looked radiant and she seemed to glide from one place to another. Her motion seemed endless, like she was dancing or swaying to music. She looked demure and small compared to the rowdiness of the other people on the patio. I smelled the air trying to see if her scent could travel this far.
She threw her head back and laughed at someone. Just watching her laugh was intoxicating. I was getting lost and wishing I was parked a little bit closer.
Bella suddenly turned towards my direction, a full body turn, not just a head turn, full on looking at my teal beast kind of a turn.
Shit! I crouched down as far as I could in my seat, not daring to move an inch.
I waited.
My hands started to itch.
My mouth went dry.
My head started to ache. The fucking headache.
If this is the kind of reaction I was going to have just looking at Bella from a distance, then what the hell was I going to do tomorrow?
I chanced to look back up and she was gone inside.
I was fucked. I popped two aspirin I had on the dash and drank it down with the last of my coffee.
I breathed and closed my eyes gripping the steering wheel for dear life.
Really, I should go now and get a room, try to get some sleep, clear my head and mentally pump myself up for this. Obviously, I underestimated how strong I would be.
"Damn it Mason! Keep on track and don't lose focus. Just remember why you have to do this," I whispered to myself through gritted teeth.
Mantra. Mantra. Mantra.
Jess. Jess. Jess.
Mantra. Mantra. Mantra.
Repeat.
"Get it done and get your closure." I had my eyes shut tight chanting 'Jess' under my breath.
"Jess…Jess…Jess…"
Mantra.
"Bella…Fuck!" Even with my poor ass mantra, Bella was still there. I pinched my eyes shut tighter, getting Jess's face in my mind. My hands were hurting now from holding the steering wheel so tight.
"Why am I not surprised to see you here." I heard a small giggle outside my window.
Jumping out of my skin, I looked over to my left, out the passenger side and was met with the most angelic looking face I knew. She was dressed in a pink wrap dress, matching her rose cheeks perfectly. She hasn't changed a bit. It also pissed me off that I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear or see her approach.
Not good for a cop. I had to work on that.
Of course, if I had to get caught stalking my ex outside her apartment it would be by Alice. She was most fittingly the one to give me the most trouble. Well, trouble without getting my ass kicked by a rather large douchebag I'm sure was pawing Bella inside.
I hated the image in my head of the douche with my girl.
Wait, what did I just say in my internal dialogue? My girl?
Groaning, I pressed my lips back together.
Collecting myself and narrowing my eyes at her, I shrugged and turned my attention back to the party.
Alice put her elbows on the window frame and leaned in. "So, what kind of stake-out is this? I don't see any doughnuts or coffee. Where is the pile of cigarette butts?" She let out one of her annoyingly angelic bell-like giggles. "Aren't those stables of every cop?" Her head tilted to the side waiting for my comeback.
I huffed, "That's cliché." I stopped and looked more closely at her.
Her smile faded and she looked pensive. "I already drank my coffee," I replied, giving her a small half grin and trying not to be an asshole as I turned my coffee cup I had by my leg upside down, showing her my liquid upper was all gone.
Her smile returned. "Can I join you?" Alice chirped.
"It's open." I replied dead panned.
Alice opened the door. "Nice ride, Mason," she said lowering into the passenger seat and closing the door behind her. "I didn't know they made cars this color anymore. I'm no guy, but this looks like a chick car to me." Laughing, she looked around at my trash on the floor a little disgusted.
I was a little grossed out myself. I'm never this messy and I felt a entirely new kinship to Emmett all of a sudden. He would probably say taking my neck into his arm, "Edward, us trash heaps run in small circles."
"It's the only thing they had left, okay." It's only been five minutes and she was already making fun of me. Clearing some of the trash to the side, I could see Alice relax.
"Sorry, I'm sure it drives nice," she replied quickly, detecting my frustration.
"Just peachy." I crossed my arms and side ways glanced at Alice who was now staring at me. Hard.
"What?" Feeling completely insecure, I rubbed the back of my neck.
Not moving with her smile frozen on her face, "Nothing."
Still looking at me, I saw her hands fidget in her lap.
"What!?!" I barked.
"I just like that you're here, that's all" She said quietly, looking at the party. Bella was still gone now but some random guy was sucking on a girl's face pushed up against the side of the building.
Feeling a little uncomfortable about watching the porn show with Alice, "You throw a nice party." I joked pointing to the couple, deliberating whether or not to think too hard into what Alice just said. I changed the subject.
"I would ask you to come in but …" She paused, letting her hand wave in the air.
I finished her sentence. "We know how that would turn out."
"Yeah." She confirmed, giving me a wink.
"Why aren't you in there anyways?" I asked remembering how much Alice loved parties.
She held up a bag that I hadn't noticed her holding before. "I forgot the limes." Rolling her eyes, "Bella has to have limes. She says its part of her signature drink. And honestly, if one measly bag of limes would make her happy tonight then I would travel to Florida to pick them myself… or wherever limes come from."
I couldn't help but chuckle, remembering how much Bella loved her margaritas, but I also laughed in annoyance at myself for giving Alice the pleasure of seeing me not sulking for a brief moment.
I was hoping she wouldn't catch it, but she did. "Edward, I'm glad it's you here, doing this."
"It's not entirely my choice. Charlie laid it on thick."
"Charlie has his reasons don't you think? He called last week and I talked to him for a while. He sounds well."
"Charlie's reasons might not be the best reasons, Alice. He knew I couldn't say 'no.' He's using me, Alice." I crossed my arms. "And when I left him, he was feeling better." I looked away from her, out my window.
"But you could have said no, Edward. You have choices too. What are your choices anyway?"
I didn't say anything.
"You didn't stay away. I knew you would be here. Remember, I had a feeling." She tapped her finger to her temple. She needn't have reminded me.
"Call it a hunch I have about you two." She winked again. How can someone so tiny be so fucking annoying! But yet I couldn't stay mad at her. I really wanted to though. She had this weird thing of just knowing people too well. And she was figuring me out too well.
"Please Alice, don't get into that now. Bella made it clear she didn't want me anymore and I remembered why I didn't want her." I spat growing more unnerved by the second.
"I know you don't blame her anymore, Edward. You would have never shown up here on New Years if you did. This trip can be...beneficial to you both." Raising her eyebrow, she continued, "Just trying to do a girl a favor."
That sounded familiar. Too familiar. It sounded just like what Jasper said to be before I left.
This conversation is ending, time to deflect.
"No, I'm doing this for Charlie. Anyway, I'm seeing someone now." I couldn't look Alice in the eye when I said that. She would see it all over my face that something was up and I was going to lie my ass off.
"Oh, I didn't know." She sounded unaffected by my statement, which surprised me. I thought she would question it.
"How would you? It's kinda new anyway." I said matter-of-factly.
I sighed and let the air out slow. The party seemed to be dying down; people were leaving and getting into their cars, the couple sucking face had gone, and I hadn't seen any more keg stands for a while now. Inside the front window, I saw Bella hugging a girl while she rubbed her back. The douche stood next to her, smiling down at the two girls. I narrowed my eyes just for the quick glance I got of Jake. No matter what that douche did in life, he would never make it on my good side; I wouldn't allow it. He could cure every type of cancer and I would never give a shit. I would only care enough if it meant it could cure Charlie, but since that was never going to happen, I'd just stick to hating the fucker for eternity.
"Edward, just make me a promise." She turned and looked me square in the face. "Play it cool with her the way back. She is going through a lot of shit and she doesn't need any more, especially from you… And indulge her a little bit." Alice finished, poking me in the chest looking back out to the street.
"Indulge her?" I questioned, but I was stopped when I saw Alice's face. She looked horrified. I followed her gaze down the street almost a block away. I knew it was Jake and the girl Bella was hugging from earlier in the window. The two were very close, talking, almost too close for a man supposedly engaged to someone else, to be talking to. It was all in the body language and even from this distance, I could see that something was going on with them. But when the chick lifted her hand to his cheek, it confirmed it.
Alice started to huff and breathed, "I knew it," under her breath, but loud enough for me to hear.
"I guess we all have our secrets, don't we," I said in the air, not really directing it at Alice
Even though I knew Bella was unfaithful on New Years to Jake, it still pissed me off to find out he was unfaithful to her. It was a double standard, but the instant protector I used to be was starting to emerge out of hiding from the hole I buried it in a long time ago.
We continued to watch for a couple more minutes. Alice and I both sat silent watching the movie play out in front of us. Little did they know, they had the worst audience in the world catching their show. They just stood close, talking and holding each other. The douche seemed to fidget and look around. Most likely checking if the coast was clear.
Just then, the girl pulled at his neck leaning him down to her face. He grabbed at her arms, but didn't push her away. I looked back to the apartment window and saw Bella still chatting it up with random people. I looked at Alice and she was fiddling with her cell phone.
"I need to send a text to Ja......my mom." She eyed me, hiding her screen of her phone.
When I turned back, the two had let go of each other. Jake was making his way back inside while the girl got into her car. He was stalking the pavement hard looking upset. I watched him head to the door and through the window, I saw him go up to Bella and hug her from around the back.
That douche! He had the nerve. Alice needed to get back in there and be with Bella, even if Bella had no idea what had just happened.
"Maybe you should get back inside." I told Alice. She seemed to agree as she went for the handle of the door.
"Sure, I'm being a bad hostess as it is." Alice got out of the car and quietly closed the door, trying not to make our presence known.
"Do you know that girl with him?" I asked leaning into the passenger seat to see Alice.
"Her name is Leah. It's funny; she's from around your neck of the woods." Alice leaned on the door frame again whispering.
"She's from Forks?" I asked.
"Or somewhere outside, I don't know. I try not to pay attention to her. I never really liked her and now I'm sure not to like her." Alice leaned in closer, "Well, gotta get my girl her limes. And Edward, you didn't promise me yet."
I forced my answer.
"I promise Alice, I will be good. It seems like I'm making everyone that promise."
"Thanks." She stopped and reached out her hand, touching the top of my head. "For your own health, I think if you come after nine tomorrow, you will miss Jake." Alice patted my head and the door as she slid her body out of the window frame.
I thought I heard her faintly sing as she strolled down the sidewalk, "Come and knock at our door, we have been waiting for you…"
Was that the Three's Company theme song? Nah.
Alice glided back into the apartment with ease and I saw all three of them through the window. Jake said something and turned his back. Alice made a face behind his back, looking out the window at me. I laughed at our inside joke; Bella smile, hugged Alice and took the limes, exiting from my view. Jake went with her and Alice gave me a faint wave at her side.
I smiled. Alice seemed to still have my back.
Jake was a stupid mother fucker! How could you throw someone like Bella Swan under the bus like that?
Who am I kidding? I did the same exact thing to her… and us. I had no room to talk. Moreover, fighting with myself in my head wasn't going to get me anywhere.
My own words resounded over and over in my head.
"I guess we all have our secrets."
Karma can be a bitch, and I had a feeling karma was going to pay a visit to Bella and I on this trip.
I flipped open my phone and dialed.
"Hello." Jess answered.
"Hey."
"It's late, are you okay?" She yawned and I heard her sheets rustle over the phone.
"Sorry, you were sleeping. I'll call you tomorrow." I said apologetically.
"I didn't expect you to call." Jess was already counting me out.
Christ, I felt more alone then ever.
"I didn't know if you would pick up, but I'm sorry I didn't call when I landed. I'm an ass."
Jess laughed lightly. "Yes you are, but a cute one." She at least knew how to make me feel better for the moment.
"I'm going to go get some sleep. I just wanted to hear your voice." Because I already forgot what it sounded like.
"All right." Jess sighed, "Edward, don't forget okay."
"I have the picture." I smiled into the phone while looking over at Bella's apartment.
"You have more then the picture at home." She reminded me.
"I'll call you from the road, okay?"
"I'll be here," Jess said quietly before clicking off the phone, again, not saying goodbye. She was really bad at goodbyes.
I closed my phone and opened it back up to see the picture of Jess and I again. There in my hand was the fresh, almost sexed face of Jess and myself. It looked sweet and anyone who didn't know us would have thought of us as the most in love. For some reason, I didn't want Bella to see this by any means on the way back.
I don't know why, but I didn't want her to know about Jess…
A/N Hey everyone!! All I will say is that they will meet next chapter!!!! YAY!!! Finally, right?
I wanted to share another well written fic by my friend MsNaomi05, Reservations. It's Emmett goodness at it's best and it made me see Emmett in a *a hem* new light.
Thanks to Decordova for giving me all kinds of insight to my chapter, Go read her fic, Under the Tuscan Sun.
Reviews are better then a top shelf margarita!