A/N: Thanks for the awesome reviews and for just you know reading the damn thing.
To keep everyone up to speed. Edward is in Chicago to take Bella home per Charlie's insistence. Charlie lied to Bella, telling her Emmett is going with her on her "road trip." Alice is in on it, having mentioned talking to Charlie last chapter, and being sneaky, she might be talking to Jasper too, if you didn't figure that out yet. Edward still has no idea that Bella doesn't know he's coming.
This chapter is starting with a dream flashback the day of Edward's parents' funeral.
I also had to split it into two chapters so expect the next chapter soon. It was getting pretty lengthy so just to justify.
Annabella Laurie is the bomb beta and a half. Cheers!
Chapter 8-Meet and Greet
Bella
Edward was the only one left at the gravesite when I drove up. I didn't dare speak to him before at the funeral, knowing that he wasn't willing to entertain me as Jasper warned earlier. He was slumped over the freshly milled earth as if sleeping. He looked peaceful in his somewhat slumber, but I knew him better. He was festering and it made my heart ache to know that I helped lead him to this place. This was never my intentions and he had to know the truth. I walked gingerly to him, trying not to make a sound. Not wanting to startle him, I bent down and knelt by his side.
"Edward?" I whispered, lightly putting my hand on his shoulder.
He jerked his shoulder away with such force his fist punched the ground in front of him. He let out a soft whimper and I looked down at the indentation his fist made in the ground. I still couldn't see his face, but his breathing started to pick up and I detected he was growing agitated at my presence.
"Get away from me you whore!" He growled, never turning to face me. He played with the dirt in front of him and as best as I could see, he was spelling our names in the soft dirt. I bit back a tear at his allegation.
I inched closer until my knees almost touched his back, but being careful not to actually touch him. I was afraid for my own sanity that any kind of feeling would protrude from my touch sending him over the deep end, which I was trying to avoid.
"I'm sorry." Letting my head fall, my tears ran down my cheeks. Droplets formed little mud puddles on the ground in front of my knees. Making any apology was going to be difficult and having him believe the truth was going to be even harder.
"I said get away from me."
His head hung low and he shuddered, crying quietly as he scooted away from me. I felt the space that he created between us with my hand; I thought for a second that there was a slight warmth to the ground, like there was something else here, next to us. I needed to get closer to him. He needed to know the truth. I brought my hands back to the ground and walked them to his back again. Still not touching, but I was aching too.
"Please don't push me away; it's not what you think. Nothing happened with Jake." I breathed, wiping my chin free of wetness.
"Bella, I don't want to hear it right now. Don't make this about you," he gritted through his teeth. I couldn't see his face, but his tone told me everything. "Just leave now before…" He let himself pause as he turned his head to the side towards me; his hair looked matted to his head from sweat.
I reached out to him and pushed the hair off the side of his forehead. Edward flinched at my touch, but I didn't take my hand away. Relieved for a millisecond, I brushed his head again with the back of my hand, consoling him and even if it was just the back of my hand, it felt like my whole body was in the movement. He swayed his head with each caress I passed over his cheek and back to his temple. My hand looked like water swaying in time with his hair. I could have sworn I smelled the sea air. I sucked it in to try to remember this exact moment, but I got lost in thought of what I was going to say. Edward did this to me, he made my train of thought distort with every little thing he did. Exhaling the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in, I made the littlest of sounds and it brought Edward back down. He yanked at my wrist and pulled my arm, making me fall forward onto his back. I was fully pressed against his back with my arm wrapped around his side. He startled me with the sudden movement, causing my breathing to pick up.
"Ed-ward?" Still shaken by his sudden action, my voice cracked and he pulled my arm around his shoulder in an awkward hug. He held me in a loose embrace as he rocked back and forth. I reached my other arm around to hug his other shoulder, but no sooner was I hugging him then he was pushing my arm away and he stood up, leaving me on the ground, still in the dirt of the grave.
He started babbling incoherently, pacing back and forth, raking his hand through his hair making mini mohawks in their wake. I heard phrases like, "Can't trust you," and "You caused this." He never looked at me and never took his eyes off his feet. He was mumbling and making funny faces, which reminded me of bad pictures that Charlie took over the years. The man never knew how to smile when you said 'cheese.' I didn't have a decent picture of him and Edward was in no frame of mind to smile so making a joke was not a good idea. I just wanted to comfort him and let him know that I was here if he wanted me or not.
Back and forth he paced, shuffling his feet in the wet grass. I memorized the marshy sounds as he walked. The wet soles of his worn dress shoes started to cake with mud and I felt my dress start to soak through. I moved to get up and he stopped moving, holding out his hand to assist me as an automatic gesture. He frowned in annoyance of himself, but didn't drop his hand. Admiring his strong hand, I took it and pulled myself up. It made me happy that he would take it upon himself to still be a gentleman, but I knew that wouldn't last long.
I patted my shirt down and brushed any debris from my backside. He stood looking at me, waiting for me to speak, but I had no idea what to say. So, I just said the first thing that came to mind.
"Alice came with me." I folded my arms around my waist trying to keep warm. "We flew up together two days ago. She wanted to be here for you… and for me." I said hesitantly.
"I saw her." He stated plainly and matter-of-factly, still staring me down. His eyes darted to mine, and then to my lips, then back to my eyes again. He looked like he wanted to say something when he parted his own lips, but he snapped them shut quickly before he let a word pass through.
As soon as he registered what I had said, his beautiful green eyes turned to a nasty glare. "For you?" he spit out at me in a sarcastic tone. The anger started to brim over and he narrowed his eyes more and more by the second. I said the wrong thing when I had no right to say anything at all. I should have kept my mouth shut and just stood there like an idiot, letting him break the silence.
He let his chest puff out like a brute going into a fight. He huffed and blew out his steamy breath, thinking exactly what he needed to say; it read all over his face. I knew his face and I knew I was not ready to hear what he had to say.
"What do you mean for you?" He spat turning his back to me while grabbing a fistful of hair in each hand. "Your parents aren't dead." He choked back a breath, "You didn't find out that your father is a drunk driver… and kills innocent people-not just people, but mothers- mothers who have no choice, but to leave their sons as orphans!"
He let go of his hair and I stared at him with tears dripping down my face. I knew this was the first time he talked about his parents to anyone. Jasper told me earlier that he shut down after Charlie picked him up from the airport. The only words he spoke were that of a kid named Seth, who was in the accident. Jasper didn't elaborate and I didn't push. It wasn't my place anymore.
I wiped my face with my dress and he looked at me with such hate I could feel the heat radiate off his body. I shouldn't be crying like this in front of him. It was egging him on to continue his tirade into me, but I couldn't help feel that I deserved it a little, even though I knew I meant no harm. This was not my fault, nor Jake's fault, nor Edward's father's fault. This was something else entirely and I haven't figured out what it was and why we all deserved it.
Edward looked away and back to me, seemingly thinking before he spoke, "You didn't have your ex girlfriend's father come and break the news to you!" He stepped closer so I could feel his breath in my face as he sneered at me from the top of his nose. "You didn't see your whore of a girlfriend cheat on you right after she told you how much she missed you and fucking loved you!" He finished glaring at me with as much condemnation he could fathom.
I retreated a step back so the air in between us wasn't so thick. I let the tears well as the lump in my throat felt like a boulder choking me and any words I wanted to squeeze out.
With a smug grin he chided, "Alice wanted to be here for you? For you?" He said in disapproval while looking up at the sky with a pointed look. "Be sure to tell Alice that I say Isabella Swan will survive. She moves on ...quickly." With one last puff of the chest, he backed down, squatting in a sitting position while staring at his hands.
"Now fucking leave," he whispered, not making eye contact.
"Edward, I-" I paused trying to find anything worthy of his approval.
"I said, fucking leave Bella!" He snorted once more. By his face, he was holding back more anger than he was letting out so I had to make my case fast. He kept to studying his hands while I still stood not moving five feet away from him.
Coming up with nothing to say because how can you rebound from something as profound as what he just said, I froze in place, seeing if he would move first. It was our game of chicken and we were both winning. We must have stood still for over ten minutes, looking everywhere but at each other, willing the other person to make some sort of attempt at reconciliation. I was fearing the first move because I knew Edward would never believe anything I had to say. He already cast his judgment the moment his parents died and Edward didn't move probably because he was just too damn tired to do anything anymore. Jasper said he hadn't slept. He was waiting for me to 'fucking leave' but I knew I couldn't, not just yet.
I went to my knees and let my lower half fold into a sitting position so I was eye to eye with him, still five feet away. Have you ever heard that you can make a dog-or a child, I forget which- respect you if you stayed at their level? Maybe if I did the same thing it would help. At this point, I would've tried anything. Plus, I was tired from standing all day, my feet hurt from walking and my head was spinning from the congestion building from all the crying.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth, ever. You made your mind up." I closed the distance between us by inching forward on my knees. "But, I- didn't kill them." Reaching up, I touched a finger to his chin, his body shivered as mine did too.
"It was an accident Edward, the worst kind and I will never know what you're going through. Please don't leave me like this." His hard facade seemed to be breaking, his shoulders slumped slightly and his face softened. I never knew when the right time to bring up Jake would be, but this was as good of a time as ever. With his state, I didn't know if I would be seeing Edward again and it sent a chill down my spine that he wasn't going to be in my life anymore. I cursed Renee over and over in my head. She didn't even show up for the funeral and Elizabeth, Edward's mother was seemingly her best friend.
"Nothing happened with Jake." He winced when I said his name and removed his chin from my finger. I spared myself of looking into his eyes because I wasn't prepared for what I would see if he chose not to believe me, so I started to explain more.
"I never kis-" I stopped myself when I heard him growl softly and looked up to see Edward's eyes harden and peer over my shoulder. His body stiffened and he stood up leaving me still kneeling on the wet grass. I looked over my shoulder ready to kill anyone who was interrupting us.
"What the fuck is he doing here?" Edward breathed fire with his words and I turned around to look at whom he was glaring at.
Back about fifteen yards stood a tall teddy bear who was going to get shot because I was going to get my father's shot gun and kill him myself.
Jake.
I looked back at Edward just as angry as he was, but he didn't see my anger, all he saw was betrayal. He looked like he just ate the worst tasting food and was chewing on his cheek in disgust.
"You brought your boyfriend here?" He leered at me, grabbing my arm, pulling me up from the ground. "Who do you think you are?" His grip was tight and he twisted his wrist, which in turn made me cry out at the dull pain.
"Edward stop, you're hurting me." I begged, but he didn't loosen his hold. He just looked back and forth at my eyes in utter disbelief that I had the gull to let Jake come with me, which I didn't. I was just as surprised as Edward was that Jake was here in the cemetery.
"How dare you disrespect my parents!" Edward pulled at my arm walking me towards Jake.
At the sight of Edward forceful hold, Jake already made his way to where we were. I stared at Jake and shook Edward's hold of my arm free. Jake looked concerned and was reaching for my arm to inspect it, but I moved away so he wouldn't touch me. I was not in the mood for Jake's games and he was in so much trouble for being so foolish and self-centered for showing up here.
"Jake, why are you here?" I breathed holding myself again around the waist, keeping myself warm and together, I didn't know which anymore.
"Bella your cold, here take my jacket." He slid off his jacket, completely ignoring my question.
"She's not cold. She's a heartless bitch!" Edward spoke and started to move back towards the graves. I closed my eyes at the insult, but I didn't say a word to refuse it.
I was ready to have it.
Dish it out all you want Edward, I can take it. Nothing is going to hurt me more now.
"She's all yours now douche, take her. I already fucked her, she's no more use to me. Have fun with her used stretch out pussy!" He let the words fly without trepidation. He gave Jake a 'bow' and lowered his head mocking him.
My mouth dropped open, as I stood there stunned. With that statement, I knew I couldn't take it even though I tried to convince myself that nothing he could say to me would hurt anymore than losing his parents. My heart broke more than I ever thought it could and I could see Edward eying my reaction. He pushed his brows together in what seems to be regret, but kept his mouth shut.
Jake on the other hand looked livid. As Edward turned his back, Jake took three rather large steps in Edward's direction and grabbed the back of his shirt, spinning him around to Edward's shock.
"You fucking dick!" Jake pushed Edward to the ground. Edward landed hard on his ass and fell back. You could hear the loud thud of Edward's hands instinctively protect him from falling, but in that same instance, I heard a distinct crack and could only imagine Edward might have broken his wrist. I could only guess what was going to happen next. Jake stood tall and planted himself in front of me, guarding me. I felt like he owned me or I was his property and he was there to defend it. I peeked around Jake's arm to see if Edward was all right. He rubbed his wrist with his left hand letting me know that the crack I heard was indeed his wrist breaking. I immediately felt sick to my stomach that Jake hurt Edward over me.
"You shouldn't have done that douche!" Edward was back on his feet in a second flat, running forward, he rammed into Jake's midsection with all his strength, pushing him to the ground. I was still behind Jake when I felt the force of them barreling into me. My body was raked to the side as they tried to avoid me. They both landed with a loud thud as Jake's wind was knocked out of him. He was so big compared to Edward, but Edward was fast and caught Jake off guard.
They started to roll together on the wet ground, getting dirt smudges on their clothes. They each took turns pinning and fighting each other off. Edward grunted and Jake was breathing hard from his nose. They sounded like animals and looked it too. Never in my life had I ever had men fight over me or defend my honor. This wasn't really the right place for such chivalry, but it touched me that Jake thought so much as to get hurt than to see me hurt. Still, this was idiotic and childish. Jake really shouldn't be here-this was about Edward and myself. I heard the sound of fist to skin and I looked back again to see Edward making contact with the side of Jake's face. Jake let out a gurgled sound but recovered easily taking advantage of Edward's broken wrist. Jake took hold of Edward's shoulder and turned him around so that Edward was lying on his side and Jake pinned him down with half his body, ready to return the favor but Edward used his good hand to prop himself up.
I couldn't take it anymore.
"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" I yelled to the deaf crowd. "JAKE GET OFF HIM!"
Edward reared his head in my direction and I caught his pained expression, but I also distracted him and left him wide open for a face full of Jake beat down. Jake flipped Edward on his back and grabbed his collar as he drew his fist back. My only reaction was probably the stupidest thing to do at the time, but I was working on adrenaline and had no brain matter to speak of; I lunged at Jake, putting myself in aim of Jake's massive fist. Without having time to stop himself, Jake let his fist go and it shot down hitting my jaw as I landed on top of Edward. The sound of fist into face wasn't exactly how it sounds in movies. It was more of a gentle thump sound, but it certainly didn't feel gentle. For a minute there, I saw stars; having never been punched before, I guess it could be expected, but I was still shocking that it actually happened, given I was trying to break up their machismo fight to begin with.
I reached to my face and felt my already swollen jaw, shaking my head to make the stars disappear. Jake hit hard and I looked at him in disbelief that he really did hit me. Then I realized that I had fallen on top of Edward's chest as he was still laid out on his back. He looked up at me and brought his hand to my injured jaw, barely touching it.
In his eyes, I could read concern and debate, but with his touch, I felt the burn on my skin from what force was still between us. Moving my fingers to his chest, I felt his heartbeat quicken. I caught my breath while Edward brushed his fingers against my neck.
"Does it hurt?" was all he asked with sincerity. He surprised me with his gentleness.
"Yes," I muttered, trying to keep my jaw from much motion.
Fury and rage were probably the kindest words to describe the look in Edward's eyes as it registered to him that I wasn't okay. I in fact took a punch meant for him. I would have willingly took much worse if it meant that I could mend his broken heart and bring his parents back, but after all of this he still cared, still cared for my well being. It made me retch to think that again I was the cause of all his pain and torture, but at the moment, he seemed to care more that I was the one who was hurt and pushed himself to the back burner, if only for a minute. Before my eyes, he turned dark and cold, his lips pursed while he fisted the grass to the side of his leg.
He then gripped my waist to move me off him, but I didn't budge, fearing to break our contact for what time I had of it. Jake realizing what he had done, sprang to his feet, and started blurting apology after apology while trying to help me stand. I refused his hand and sat still on the ground.
"Oh my god, Bella! I'm so sorry! Please let me help you." He knelt down, reached for me, and I let him touch my cheek, hoping he could feel the throb where his fist made contact. There was no way I was letting his gesture soothe me as I shot daggers-no wait, bullets-at him with my eyes. I felt his fingers turn my head to inspect any more damage and I quickly dispelled them by shaking his grip off my face. It was then I noticed that Edward was still on the ground beneath me. Jake's simple touch to my face seemed to send Edward over the edge and he shrugged me off him as I fell to the side.
"I can't believe you hit her, you fucking shithead!"
Edward was up on his feet leaving me on the ground, again. Edward charged at Jake like a freight train. Jake's eyes flew wide open as Edward stole his hand back and let it fly into Jake's nose. Jake fell two steps back and reached to his face feeling for blood, which now started to pour down his upper lip. Edward pushed on and stepped up to Jake again.
"Don't ever fucking touch her again!" He screamed, panting unable to control himself. I knew if I didn't stop this, something worse was going to happen.
Before Jake could rebound back, I pushed myself up, getting in between them, this time making sure no fists were flying. I held my back to Jake and used my hands to hold Edward's chest at arm's length. I could feel his accelerated heartbeat and I looked up at his face; his eyes were trained on Jake, but he quickly looked to me. Any hint of concern he had early was all but gone, replaced with resentment as he crinkled his nose at my hands on his chest, finally remembering that he was angry with me.
"This is neither the time nor the place to do this, gentlemen," I said politely, but with a forceful tone, trying to calm them down and waving my hand to remind them where we were.
Edward flared his nostrils. Jake stood ramrod straight behind me pressing his chest to my back. It took everything I had to keep them apart. I was in the middle of this bizarre love triangle that really wasn't a love triangle. Jake and I never did anything, but Edward got enough impression he needed now since Jake showed up out the blue. If I thought that Jake had a little crush on me before, I definitely knew it now. Little crushes don't show up to boyfriend's dead parents' graves. That sounded all kinds of morbid, but by Jakes actions, he was showing me he cared more than just a little. He was so callus and I wanted to know why he chose this location to confront Edward and I.
Edward started to back down. I felt it through my hands on his chest. His breathing was slowly getting steadier and he looked like he was trying to calm himself down. It seemed so fast that his anger dissolved, but I was ready to have a calm Edward to talk peacefully to me.
"Bella, he shouldn't disrespect you like that…" Jake managed to get out before Edward cut him off.
"Take your fucking boyfriend and get the hell out of here." He stepped back still glaring at Jake trying to end the argument.
This wasn't how I wanted this to go. I hadn't had my time to let him know what really happened and it made me panic. He wasn't going to let me fix this, fix us. I could see it in his face. He was surrendering to it, to the pain.
"Edward please!" Not above groveling, I stormed after him, leaving Jake behind. "I need to explain to you..."
Edward turned suddenly into my approach and brought his index finger to my mouth, silencing me.
"I can't hear anymore, Bella." He closed his eyes. "Please," he whispered letting his finger slowly slip from my lips. My mouth felt cold without his touch and it seeped into my heart that this was the last time he would touch my lips.
"Edward…" I whispered. He just shook his head 'no' while looking me in the eyes.
He was calm now and eerily reserved after what had just happened between the three of us. It was almost like he gave up and was done with the fight. I felt tired myself, but I still wasn't done. I had to get this off my chest; I had to make this right. He had to know. Jake had the same idea.
Jake spoke loudly behind us, "I came here to explain to you Edward, that Bella…"
"Shut up Jake, you're not helping. This is not your fight." I yelled back to him. I turned back to Edward.
He quickly beat me before I opened my mouth, "Bella, if you love me at all anymore, you will leave me. I don't have the energy to stay away from you but I have too. I'm not in my right mind so..." He stopped and looked at me, bringing his hand to my temple brushing the hair from my forehead, "I will say hurtful things… please." He was pleading with me to spare me or him, I didn't know which, but I was naive.
"Edward, please don't do this…" I reached up to cup his cheek, but that was too much for him to handle. He swiped my hand away and stepped back to his parents' grave. The softness of his voice was quickly replaced with irritation that I wasn't listening to his warnings.
"Get the fuck away from me, Bella! You don't know what's going through my mind right now! Spare yourself, just fucking go!" He sat back down in the same position I first saw him in when I approached him at what seemed hours ago. He knelt his body down on the dirt, bringing his knees to his chest.
Just above a whisper he said, "I can't love you anymore."
He turned back to look at the ground and I felt my cheeks start to burn. Never realizing that I had been crying the whole time, I now felt my dress across my chest wet with tears. My jaw still ached and I brought my hand to it, rubbing away the pain. I thought that any words now would be in vain but I couldn't move from my spot only feet away from Edward. I was the cause of all this pain and now he could never love me again? What did that mean? And why was this happening? I was numb and afraid. Jake's arms started to slowly engulf me as I started to shake, my legs beginning to feel like goo as he tried to coax me to walk away. Instantly my vision started to blur with tears and I let my legs fall underneath me. Jake quickly picked me up, supporting me with is weight.
"Bella, he needs his space. This is too much for him. Let's go back to Charlie's and I'll explain… myself." He nodded apologetically.
Through my quiet tears, I turned and looked once more at Edward, broken and crumpled up on his parents' grave. Bringing his hands to his hair again, I heard him mumble as if he were talking to them, his parents. I just couldn't make out the words. He was alone. The guilt was placed on me. Jake's arms felt comforting and I shrunk into his side as he cradled his arm around my waist. At that moment, I felt like everything that Edward had called me was true. I laid my head against Jake's chest, giving up the fight and letting Edward go as he requested. It was all I could do for him now.
I let the tears and sobs take over.
"Bella, I'm sorry I… Bells?"
"Bells," I heard Jake say as I was lifted from my groggy state of mind.
I felt my body shake and I could have sworn it felt like an earthquake. I didn't open my eyes, instead just turned my head into the pillow, wishing the day wouldn't start yet and wishing my pounding headache would just disappear. Wishing I would stop having the recurring funeral dream again.
"Bells babe, wake up." Jake's soft deep voice coated the room.
"Mmm, ughhhh." Was the only sounds I could say at this early hour and I felt a little hung-over. Damn you Alice and your margarita machine! I shook my fist in the air with my eyes closed cursing my best friend on finding my weakness and taking advantage.
"Hey, don't hit me. I'm just an innocent bystander." Jake chuckled as I peeled one eye open and saw him lying next to me on my mattress laid out on the floor. I rolled over to my side and nuzzled my face into his chest. That's when I noticed that my face was wet and my eyes felt swollen, knowing then that my dream bled out into reality and I'm sure Jake witnessed it. Again. Stupid recurring funeral dreams! Choosing to ignore how my face probably looked to him, I casually used the sheet to wipe away the trader tearstains.
"What time is it?" I wondered aloud as I wrapped my arm around his waist, hoping he didn't catch that I used my sheet as a giant Kleenex.
"It's 7 in the am, time to get up and get you going." He smiled, but his eyes didn't match his tone. He looked sad as I was too. Being separated from Jake was going to be hard, but it was only for a month I reminded myself.
"We have to get the rest of your things in the truck before I need to leave for work and I'm sure that you and Alice don't want to lug this mattress by yourselves." He said while patting the bed beneath us.
"Nope, not a pretty picture. But can't we sleep for a while longer?" I buried my face farther into his chest, inhaling every breath of him I could take before ripping myself out of bed.
"You had the dream again?" he asked concerned. I nodded. "You talked in your sleep too." Jake moved away and sat up on the bed leaving me lying on the mattress, avoiding eye contact. He hated that I still thought of that day. Jake liked to think that he brought me out of the funk that I was in after Edward left me. He did too, but when he actually witnessed that it still affected me it bothered him.
"Oh." I knew right away that he heard most of what I dreamt; it wouldn't be the first time, but this happening today of all days made Jake feel insecure enough to push me away. The bed felt lonely and I hated that my mind continued to punish me with old dug up memories, but damn it, I couldn't help what I dreamt at night. No one can, no matter how hard you try.
Jake stood and crossed the room to his clothes on the floor. It was then that I realized he was naked and I blushed at the site of his naked backside. It still made me feel the butterflies when he was so bold to show me his body. I was more modest and Jake had no qualms about parading himself. In fact, I think he liked to show off his physique. Never really minding it, I liked to muse at him too. He was a specimen to be seen, his body was nearly perfect with above average muscles and a russet complexion, but as I mused his form some more, I followed his Adonis-like body to his face and my own face fell. He was worried or pained, they both were apparent to me at that moment. I watched him slip his boxers up and grab for his t-shirt lying at the foot of the bed. I chanced a look down at myself, noticing for the first time I was naked, but not remembering how or when or what I did before I got into bed last night. I remembered up to the point when Alice brought home the limes and I started making my signature drink with Grand Marnier. After that, phew... nothing.
I gathered enough courage to ask, "Did we… umm… did we have sex last night?" I asked timidly, embarrassed that I blacked out. I never did that and it was disorientating that I let myself get that way.
Not turning to look at me as he put on his jeans he answered, "We tried, but you were really canned. So… it's okay. I let you fall asleep. Plus, you kept on saying something about 'Three's Company' and that you weren't the Joey, so I knew your head was really out to lunch."
I looked to the ceiling and said a silent prayer that, that was all I said and nothing more. Jake didn't need to know that Alice and I were talking about him and Edward last night.
"I must have had a lot then, huh?" I sat back against the wall watching his every move, cursing myself for wasting our last night.
"Do me a favor and keep your top shelf margarita fetish to yourself around Emmett. You know how you get sometimes." How I got? Was that a warning or something?
"What does that supposed to mean?" I asked getting a little edgy with my headache. I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the pounding.
"You sound like you don't trust me." I crossed my arms defensively.
Jake paused, "I trust you. I don't' know Emmett, so he's the one I don't trust. So that's why I'm asking. I can't be there to look out for you and I really don't like it."
I couldn't help but laugh to myself but I kept it in so I wouldn't make Jake feel anymore need to chastise me, "Emmett would never touch me Jake, he's like a brother, so kinda incestuous." Jake wasn't having it and kept his stern face up.
"Just don't drink, okay." He finished and held up his hand before I could say anything else, silencing me from getting into a huge argument. I let it go. I didn't want to fight before I left and I was crabby as it is.
Jake was finished dressing and sat down on the bed, putting on his socks and shoes. I scooted up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind as I let my mouth nibble at his neck. Having cleared the animosity in the air, I wanted to show Jake that I was sorry I got too drunk to enjoy our last night together, I hummed into his ear and saw the goose bumps form on his arm.
Jake stopped tying his shoe and let his arms fall to his sides, not giving back any of the tenderness I was giving him. He was angry with me, and the 'no drinking' warning was serious to him but I couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't trust even though he said otherwise.
"I can't help my unconsciousness," I whispered as he sighed loudly into the air. I let my hands work their way down to his lap. He knew what I meant, I was referring to my dream which got him heated to begin with. He was using the 'no drinking' rule as a shield to what really was bothering him but he surprised me when he didn't remove my hands from his crotch. I heard him grunt as I place more pressure.
"I'm sorry, please forgive me." I breathed into his ear while gently taking his earlobe into my mouth and sucking it. His head bowed at my touch and I felt him press his back into my chest, making my nipples harden in response.
He moaned when I bit and pulled at his lobe at the same time I took my other hand and lowered it to his waist, lifting his shirt, all the while peppering his neck with small kisses. I felt his hand lift up to mine and gently, he placed each palm over both of my hands as I rubbed his stomach and his erection. The anticipation was making me grow excited and my own stomach started to tingle. I knew that my nipples weren't betraying my need for skin-to-skin contact. Jake and I were going to be separated for a month and we've never been away from each other for that long before. Reading my mind, he let my hands go and lifted his shirt above his head, throwing it to the ground. I brought back my hands to his lap and carefully massaged the tension that was present before.
"Mmm, Bells that feels good…" He breathed as he let his hand dance with mine over his hard erection.
Jake turned his head and brought his lips to meet mine as our mouths crashed together. I let my tongue trace his lips. His kiss was desperate, almost urgent, and I felt it with every movement and every caress of his tongue. I moaned as Jake raised his hand to the back of my head and directed more of his kiss into my mouth. I wanted to make this right for him. Last night was supposed to be our night and I ruined it by being selfish and letting the better part of my emotions rule my drinking.
I was so completely lost in desire, I hadn't noticed the incessant knocking outside my door, but it fully broke into my consciousness when I heard Alice start to shout.
"Hey guys, are you awake?"
"Ugh!" Jake bellowed.
"Just don't say anything, maybe she will go away." I whispered into his mouth.
More knocking.
"She won't give up, will she?" Jake asked eying the door.
"Bella, come one open the door. I have a surprise for you!" She chimed from the hallway.
We still didn't answer, hoping she would take the hint and come back later. However, Alice being Alice, we weren't so lucky and she didn't just go away.
She knocked on the door louder this time while turning the door handle. I removed my hand from Jake's pants quickly forgetting that I was groping him and fell back on the bed not wanting Alice to see what we were doing. Jake looked amused.
"I locked the door last night." He smiled and turned to crawl on the bed after me. I laughed back quietly so Alice wouldn't hear and pulled his arms to me letting him collapse on top of me.
But we weren't getting rid of Alice that easy.
"You know, I hear you in there." We clearly heard her stomp her foot and Jake and I started to crack up silently, still not wanting Alice to hear us. "Alright you two, if you're locking me out, I'm coming in!" She yelled from the other side of the door.
I quickly looked at Jake and he back at me, not knowing if Alice was serious or not.
"She wouldn't try to come in here would she?" Jake asked. I rolled him off me and grabbed more sheets to cover myself. I quickly saw one of Jake's t-shirts on the floor and threw it over my head as I reached for my underwear I saw under my pillow.
"Don't put it past her." I pushed Jake up with my foot. "Button your pants."
True to fashion, a jiggle came from the doorknob and Alice was turning the handle, letting herself in. She saw Jake at the end of the bed, bending over trying frantically to button his fly before she got a look. Alice strutted into my bedroom carrying a large tray, sitting it down on the edge of the bed next to me, she gave Jake a mean look and I took mental note to ask her about that later.
"So… whatcha guys doing?" She chirped looking at me.
Jake scooted over as Alice planted herself next to me, "Getting cockblocked." He mumbled.
"Sorry Jake, but I'm sure you're going to get your rocks off yourself, later" Alice said with a smug grin.
I wanted to punch the Cheshire grin right off her face, but she did come bearing gifts so I let it slide for now. She took one plate filled with a stack of golden pancakes and handed them to me. She then took her own plate full of cakes and proceeded to idly chat about random things we were going to do this morning. The only plate left on the tray was filled with the most burnt stack of pancakes I ever seen. I presumed that was Jake's plate.
Jake glared at the remaining plate and scowled, "Are those mine?"
"Sorry, the phone rang and I forgot to flip them and I used all the batter." Alice just shrugged like it was nothing in the world, taking a bite off her plate. I gave Alice a look.
Lifting up a pancake and checking the other side. "You forgot to flip both sides of the pancake?" Jake said in disbelief as he took his plate loading it with maple syrup trying to mask the taste.
"Here, you can have some of mine." I offered and heaped two cakes onto his plate. I saw Alice roll her eyes, but I didn't say anything. She was acting funny this morning. Usually, she would have made something else for Jake, or at least brought him some cereal.
We finished up breakfast and Alice left so I could change and get ready to load my things into the moving truck. Jake was right, Alice and I would have looked really silly trying to lug my king size mattress out by ourselves, he pretty much lifted it like a feather and threw it into the back of the truck.
Jake had to leave soon after and I took him outside to say my goodbyes. I left Alice on the couch, fidgeting. She seemed excited, almost jumpy.
"I will call you when we stop and when I get to my mom's house," I confirmed to him. Almost forgetting that Emmett and I were stopping at Rene's house in Denver, I had to call her and remind her myself.
He pulled me into his arms and hugged me, burying his face in my hair.
"I'm missing you already, Bells. I wish it wasn't so long until I see you. It's gonna be rough. Who will I talk to and hang out with? How am I going to eat, your making me make my own meals." He chuckled, "I might wither away." He placed his chin to rest on top of my head and I hugged his chest tighter.
"You will survive. I made you all those frozen meals so eat those and you have Leah to hang out with until you're done with work." I looked up at him and his eyes look hard or even cold. I felt him grasp me tighter.
"Yeah, sure but it's not the same." He said looking away.
I reached up and kissed his chin playfully, "I love you Jake."
"I love you too, babe." He let go of my waist and planted a chaste kiss on my forehead.
"Call me please… and no margaritas." I feigned disgust as I lightly punched him in the stomach.
"All right, all right, no margaritas." I crossed my heart as I watched him walk to his car. He stopped before he got in and blew me a kiss. I smiled and mouthed 'I love you' back at him. He then got in and drove away. I let one lonely tear run down my cheek before I headed inside to sit and wait for Emmett with Alice.
Alice was still sitting on the couch playing with her cell phone. I sat down next to her and slapped her knee.
"So what's up with you? Are you mad at Jake or something? You were acting strange with him this morning. And you completely ruined morning sex for me." She bit her lip, but said nothing. I looked at her more closely. "What's wrong?" I asked, getting antsy for her to talk to me.
"I need to tell you something before he gets here." Alice began as she took my hands into her lap. "This hasn't been easy keeping this from you, but I had to do it for your own good and I don't want you to kill me when you find out." She finished, waiting for me as ask her to continue. She defiantly peaked my curiosity because now I had a bad feeling in my chest that I wasn't going to like was she was going to say.
"I was talking to Jasper this morning and he told me I shouldn't throw you under the bus and I should have told you last week but Charlie made me promise…" She started to ramble.
"What? Jasper, when do you talk to Jasper? This is my Jasper right, from Forks? And Charlie? Did he call here and I missed it?" How many people in the world are named Jasper that the both of us would know? And why was Alice talking to my dad behind my back? This was so confusing.
"Um, I talk to Jasper. A lot."
"How much is a lot?" I asked completely weirded out now that she has been hiding this from me.
Alice started to play with the hem of her shirt, "Well, a lot like, almost everyday for the last four and half years." She closed her eyes tight, waiting.
"Four and a half years!" I yelled.
Alice went to nod her head yes when we heard three loud knocks on the front door. I stood casting my eyes at the door, but not leaving Alice's side just yet.
"There's Emmett." Great timing! I would of left him out there for five more minutes but that would be rude.
"This conversation is not over! I can't believe you just telling me this now." I expected her to just agree with me but Alice's reaction surprised me because she looked at the door and back to me her eyes wide with expectation
Alice stood up with me and gently pushed me forward. "Let's get this over with."
"Huh?"
"We'll talk in a minute once you open the door. Trust me."
Alice let out a nervous laugh and followed close behind me to the door. I turned to look at her warily, but she seemed panicked or ashen, like all the color had washed right out of her face. I've only seen her like this once and it was when Bonnie Belle discontinued her favorite flavor of lip-gloss. I thought the world was going to end that day.
"Breath Alice, you look sick. Take a deep breath or something," I told her.
"You better breathe too then," she said back in what seemed like a warning. I humored her and we both took a long exaggerated breath together. It made me feel better, but Alice still looked like she was about to pass out. I smiled back at her as I reached for the handle to the door.
Quickly grabbing my hand before I turned the knob Alice looked at me. "Bella, it's not Emmett. There, not throwing you under the bus."She chimed mostly to herself. I was about to question her, but she used her hand and started to turn the knob. "Just remember I love you, okay." She whispered as we both stepped to the side and pulled the door open.
The cool air of the morning blew in and cooled my warm skin and the sun beat down on us, forcing me to squint. I felt it tingle my upper lip as I focused on the figure on my stoop. From the pit of my stomach I knew what Alice meant when she opened the door with me. This figured outlined by the sun from behind him was definitely not Emmett. He was smaller and his shape was different. He was also quiet, maybe looming. I was speechless myself as I was slowing taking in this figure. I felt Alice next to me push my arm slightly with her own making me blink as I remembered I was just staring at him. The figure moved out of the direct path of the sun to our left and I focused more on what I was looking at.
He was perfection, he was honey, and he was my pain wrapped up into one. He was cookies and milk, a top shelf margarita, my desire and my end.
He was just standing there, quiet. I gasped but didn't make a sound.
I couldn't move, he wouldn't let me. His hold was already on me and I felt it the moment I stepped out of the door. I suddenly felt completely thrown under the bus, not just thrown but dragged for miles on a gravel road by my hair.
He shouldn't be here.
A mad rush of warmth and craziness swept over me and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and land on the concrete in front of me when I started to realize who this was.
He was only in my dreams not on my doorstep. This has to be a figment of my imagination. This was no different from my dream this morning. He was not real, he couldn't be. I blinked again and shook my head. I inhaled the air just to test if it smelled like him.
It did.
This was my Edward, and he was here in front of me.
A/N
Sorry I had to end it there, ducks for cover, I did say they would meet just not how much. That comes next chapter. Like I said, this chapter got to be really long and it had to be done.
Reviews are better then Edward showing up on your door, even if it's shirtless Edward from New Moon. Hot Damn!! That made my week:)