A/N Hello my lovelies!! It's been ages and RL happens * rolls eyes at self *.
So here's what's going on, I've been nominated for two awards:
A Sparkle Award for Best Original Plot www(dot)thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com
A Razzle Dazzle Award for Best Romance www(dot)razzledazzleawards(dot)webs(dot)com
GO VOTE!! I would love it:)
MissAlex and I also started a new fic called EVERY OCTOBER! Check my profile for the link. We are so excited about it and the Prologue is now posted so please go read it and give us some feedback. The first chapter should be posted on Saturday. The chapter is short so it won't take you long to read it.
MissAlex is my bestie and I LUV HER! She made this whole chapter so pretty even when she was so busy. I really appreciate all you do for me A! * tears*
Previouly in Treading Water....
I finally saw Bella as I opened the door. She wasn't in line anymore, but off to the side, talking on the phone instead.
My phone.
She looked like she was crying, but I wasn't sure. Something was off, I knew that much. I never felt so compelled to hold her and give her my strength. It was a need that I couldn't control. It was instinctive.
Protective.
Territorial.
My eyes never left Bella as I replied to the Park Ranger. "I know, I am lucky. Thanks. Sometimes you don't know what you've got until you've lost it. I'm just lucky that she's with me now and I have a chance to make things right."
With those words, I knew I was fucked.
Chapter 15- Truce
Bella
I crossed my arms around my waist, trying to keep the thrilling smell of cologne and mint from Edwards jacket as close to me as possible. His smell encompassed me and I felt safe. Peaceful. Bringing the collar up to my nose, I inhaled deeply. It was intoxicating and I couldn't ignore what I was feeling.
In the truck, I felt conflicted. But now, with Edward's jacket blanketing my body, my assorted emotions overwhelmed me. I was instantly transported back to high school football games...cuddling together...so many wonderful memories. I remembered feeling safe wrapped under his arm as we walked through the hiking trails behind his parents house. It was the same scent that snaked into my lungs as we made out in his car every evening when he dropped me off before Charlie flipped on the flood light outside, his subtle way of telling me to call it a night.
The warm, exciting, complete feelings I had now were the same as they were back then. It was what I'd been chasing since we'd been apart, and hadn't found - until now. I didn't want to let go. I wondered for so long what it would feel like to be with Edward again. Although my blissful emotions were compounded with feelings of guilt and apprehension, I wanted to keep him within my heart forever. I wanted to consume him. But at the same time, the Edward I was with now was not the Edward that I once 'd changed. I'd changed. Too much had happened between us and in the separate lives we'd led since our break-up.
However, the mystery surrounding this new Edward captivated me. There were glimpses of the same tenderness that I remembered but now he had a tough exterior - a shield - one that I could relate to all too well. But even though I tried to convince myself that too much time had passed, a part of me was still hopeful. I took another deep breath of the leather and realized that I could never get enough of him. He was a drug, one of the most addictive kinds.
Remembering where I was, I dropped the collar and zipped up the front of the jacket, watching Edward walk away from me toward the Ranger next to the metal detectors. They exchanged words briefly and then the two of them disappeared into the security office close to the entrance. When Edward was no longer in my view, I breathed a sigh of relief. My heart had been in my throat for the last twenty minutes and now I had the opportunity to calm my nerves.
I swayed slightly from side to side, holding our place in the line. I didn't know how long it would take for Edward to turn over his gun. How could I have been so stupid as to think that he wouldn't have it on him? I knew that Edward had a gun, as did my father, but I was shocked that he brought it with him. My dad never wore it unless he was working. This was a side of Edward so foreign to me, yet, he made me feel safe. I trusted him and knew he was here for the right reasons.
It was surprising how little I had thought of Jake today. He was secondary to Edward when I was in his presence. It wasn't like Jake deserved to occupy all of my thoughts after what I'd learned, but at the same time, it was hypocritical for me to look down on him, punishing him for something that I had done myself. Not to the same degree, but enough to create mistrust in our relationship.
I glanced down at the ring on my left hand. It held so much significance but deep down it felt contrived, tainted, and it weighed me down. At first I thought that talking to Jake would be make me feel better. He was good at fixing things. But as I reflected on that, I realized I was just kidding myself. This was not a machine that needed to be fixing. Hearts were not as easy to mend.
God, what happened to me? The old Bella would have kicked Jake's ass to the curb and not collected so much emotional baggage. The problem was that for so long I tried to please others and neglected myself. My frustrations bubbled to the surface and so had Jake's and this was now the bed we had made for each other. One was not better than the other. We were both to blame and I didn't know what the next step was for us. I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts. I just needed to not think for a while. Clear my head.
And breathe.
Slowly, I inhaled, bringing in the crisp air around me.
I waited, willing the butterflies produced in my stomach from my thoughts of Edward to disappear.
I exhaled.
Still there.
Well, fluttering didn't always mean love. Right? Jake was my love and I didn't have butterflies in my stomach when I was around him.
But deep down, I had a hard time believing that.
I was tense, so in an effort to relax, I unclenched my fists and shook them out, hoping that the rest of my body would unwind.
A cool wind danced around me and I jammed my hands into the pockets of Edward's jacket. I pulled out a package of gum and smiled. Edward always carried gum with him when we were together. I supposed some things never changed. Placing the packet back in his pocket, I remembered that my own pocket held something of his.
His cell phone.
I stuck it in there when I finished talking to Charlie earlier, with the intention to return it to him. I'd just simply forgotten. Removing it from my pocket, I ran my thumb over the scuffed exterior. The phone had definitely seen better days. He must have had it a long time. I flipped it open, and immediately chastised myself for being so nosy. I had no right to snoop around and I had no right to be mad about what I saw in his phone earlier. Edward moved on. It was bound to happen and I didn't exactly keep myself chaste since our breakup. I was with Jake the entire time.
But still, I felt ill. What was Jessica to Edward? I shut my eyes, thinking back to the photo I saw of them together. The photo that Edward had since deleted.
Jessica Stanley.
Jessica Stanley.
J e s s i c a S t a n l e y.
No matter how many times I said her name in my head, I couldn't figure out what Edward saw in her.
Jessica "the bane of my existence" Stanley.
Jessica "Back Stabber" Stanley.
Jessica Stanley.
The more time I spent repeating her name, the angrier I became. Why did he have to pick her out of all people? And was he in love with her?
Jessica Stanley, the girl who used to be my best friend. Our best friend.
I had told him, "If it was any other person in the world..."
But I didn't get to finish my sentence because my dad called. What I wanted to say was, "If it was any other person in the world besides Jessica, I wouldn't care. I would be happy that you found someone to love."
Now, I really didn't know if I wanted to say any of it. Because the truth was that it didn't matter who Edward ended up with. No one would feel right to me.
If it was any other person...
I thought back to my last exchange with my former friend.
"I'm sorry, Jessica," I begged her to understand. "We never meant to hurt you. If I knew how you would take this, then we would have handled things differently. But I can't help it. I'm in love with Edward. I always have been."
"Please, Jess. Please understand." Edward reached for her shoulder but she quickly jerked away.
"No!" she cried, pacing the small room. "This isn't fair. Bella, I told you how I felt about him and you never said a word!"
"I didn't want to hurt you," I explained. "Edward and I didn't plan to fall in love, it just happened."
"Well, you should have thought about how this would make me feel since you knew of my feelings for him prior to all of this," she spat, looking back and forth between Edward and I. "We've been best friends our whole lives and this is what you do to me? This is how you throw it away?" She walked towards the door
"No, Jess, please stay so we can talk about this, " Edward pleaded, blocking her way,
She stopped and narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him. "You lied to me," she hissed. "The both of you lied. What kind of friends are you?"
"We didn't mean to keep this from you," Edward explained. "Look, our senior year is approaching and..."
"Yes, it is, and it's better for me to make a clean break now rather than later. Just please, don't try, okay. I can't handle it." Jessica glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. "Bella, you hurt me the most because you knew. I'll never forgive you for that. I hate you."
I shuddered and sat down on the edge of the bed, defeated. The power of her words crippled me. Tears stung my eyes as I held my head in my hands. I couldn't say anything that would convince her that I didn't mean for things to turn out this way. She was right. I should have told her the truth right from the very beginning, She deserved that.
She turned back to Edward. "I will always love you," she whispered.
Opening the door, Jess took one last look at me, her eyes flashing with anger. "Stay away from me from now on."
And with that, she was gone.
As I held Edward's phone in my hand, I concentrated on blocking that painful memory. That was one of the worst days of my life, and it was only the beginning of the tension between Jessica and I. Biting my lower lip, I tried to refocus my thoughts. A fresh trail of tears fell along my cheeks, down onto Edward's jacket. I had to think of happier things or else I would look a total mess when he returned.
Kittens.
Bunnies.
Christmas.
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffled back the sob that was threatening to escape. Then I thought about something that gave me a flicker of hope. Edward took the picture off his phone. Was he ashamed that I now knew about him having a sexual relationship with Jessica? Or did he feel guilty that I found out and wished he'd never been with her?
Argh! I was so frustrated! And to make matters more complicated, I held Edward's hand. Charlie told me to hold his hand and I did. What was wrong with me?!
I was supposed to be torturing him with sexual innuendos, trucker hats and ass shakes. Charlie innocently asked me to do that but now I realized that he wasn't so innocent. Charlie knew exactly what he was doing.
I knew I was in trouble the second Edward and I locked hands and I felt the familiar trail of goosebumps crawl up my arm. It had been five years since I last held his hand but it felt like only yesterday. I reveled in the feeling that spread throughout my body and it was the first time today that I felt content. It felt so natural. So right.
When Edward casually ran his thumb across my knuckles and glanced down at our physical connection, I wondered if he felt what I did. In that instant, I forgot why I was mad at him and pretended like it was just like old times. No Jake, No Jessica. Just us.
But I had to touch him in order to calm him down. That's what I told myself when thoughts of Jake and Jessica flooded my mind and I didn't let go of Edward's hand. Charlie explained it all to me on the phone just before we joined the line. Talking to Charlie was tough. I wanted to scream at him and tell him to stop meddling in my love life, but all of my anger melted away when I heard his weak voice on the other end of the line. I walked towards my Veronica and leaned against her for, not only physical, but emotional support as well. My fingers shook and my tears threatened to fall.
"Hey Bells, " Charlie had said wearily.
I closed my eyes, forcing myself not to say anything I'd regret later. "How are you?" I sighed. "Emmett told Edward that you weren't eating today. Are you unwell? Have you called the doctor? Did you adjust your meds without telling us again?" I fired question after question, my concern for his health my top priority.
"Bella, slow down. I just felt nauseous this morning so when Emmett was here I didn't eat much. I told him not to rat me out so now I'm going to have to kick his ass, " he chuckled into the phone. "I didn't want to worry you. I'm feeling fine now, honestly. Please, it's all right."
"But-"
"Don't worry, okay?"
"Okay, I won't worry now," I agreed. "But you won't be able to shut me up so quickly once I get home."
"Oh, believe me, I know." He coughed loudly and my heart fell as I blinked back my tears at how frail he sounded. "You're like your mother in that way."
"I'm nothing like her Charlie," I said through gritted teeth.
My father ignored my tone. "Dad, Bells. Please call me dad. I need that."
I choked and bit my lower lip. It was hard to call him dad after Renee left. I blamed him for a lot of things, when I now knew that I shouldn't have. But at the time, I had so many questions that both my parents wouldn't answer.
"I'm sorry, dad." I replied as I pulled at my pony tail.
There was an awkward silence between us so I felt that it was time to confront him. "Dad," I sighed. "What were you thinking?"
He didn't say anything.
"Dad?"
"About what?"
"Dad! You know exactly what!"
"Okay, okay. Well, look, you can't blame me, can you? I'm an old man, set in my ways. I just want to see my little girl happy again. You can't fault me for that."
"But dad, this wasn't the way to go about things. I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself. I don't need you forcing Edward on me. He and I were over a long time ago and we've both moved on. We're...happier now..."
There was silence on the other end. He didn't believe me, just as much as I didn't believe myself.
"Anyway, my issue is that you lied to me. Tricked me. I'm so mad at you right now!"
"I'm sorry for lying to you, sweetheart. I felt that I didn't have any other options. Plus, I truly didn't want you traveling alone. I trust Edward the most so I sent him."
"But I don't trust Edward. Not anymore. How could you make such a decision for me without asking me how I felt about it?" I paused. "Edward and I...we have a very complicated history, you know that."
"Yes, I do."
"Then why?"
"Bella, throughout my life I've had many dreams. Some I've turned into reality, others I have not. I dreamed of being a cop, I wanted to get married and have a family," he stopped.
"We all have dreams, dad."
"Yes, we do, and if there's one thing I can thank Renee for, it's promoting independence in you and giving you the encouragement to fulfill your dreams. You dreamed of something better, more than I could give you, and you achieved it. But although Renee's approach was correct regarding some things, she was mistaken about a lot of other things. She went about her teachings in the wrong way. She had no right to scare you into leaving Forks - or Edward for that matter."
My lip quivered and I no longer desired to hold anything back. I slumped to the ground and propped myself against Veronica's tire. My father had never been so truthful in his feelings before. He was a quiet and stoic man. Our father-daughter discussions had never amounted to anything beyond, "did you take out the trash?"
"I'm sorry, dad," I squeaked. "I just don't know what you want from me."
"When I look at Edward, honey, I see myself. I see it all. The dream, the want, the desire - all of it. It's like I'm looking into a mirror and it's all right there. You two are young. You still have time to set things right." He cleared his throat.
"Are you al-"
"Yes, I'm fine." he assured me. "What I am saying is that both you and Edward weren't dealt a fair hand. You were forced apart. Even though your mother and I aren't together, I still had my dream. I followed my heart, married the girl I was in love with, and had the most beautiful daughter I ever could have dreamed of. Bella, I'm dying, but even after everything that happened between me and your mother, I'm dying a happy man because I have you."
I heard my father concealing his muffled cries and his breakdown caused my brick wall to crumble. My father never cried and hearing him so broken, completely destroyed me.
He cleared his throat again, regaining his composure. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm just laying my feelings out on the table and you can do with this information as you wish. All I want before I go is to have the two of you together under my roof, safe. And if something more blossoms between the two of you, then great. If not, then at least I know I tried."
I knew then that my father had the best intentions. He brought Edward and I together but what became of that was up to us, not him. The best thing for us to do on this trip would be to settle our differences and move on. Even if we wanted something more, how would it ever work? Once we returned to Forks, Edward and I would probably go back to our usual routine of avoidance.
I exhaled deeply."I understand what you had to do, dad. I just don't know if Edward and I can overcome our past. So much has happened with us and all the wounds still have salt in them. They never even had a chance to close."
"Well, maybe that says something. Maybe after all of these years, since the both of you have yet to achieve closure, it's not over. Bells, you do what makes you feel comfortable. Just do me a favor," he chuckled. "Try and enjoy the trip."
"So far the trip has been...different," I laughed. If he only knew the half of it. But I wasn't about to tell him about Jake or that I almost killed Edward and I on the highway because of my stubbornness.
"That, I believe." Even though I couldn't see him, I could tell that Charlie was smiling. "I can just imagine what your reaction was when you opened the door to find Edward on the other side. I was expecting a phone from you early this morning, to be honest."
I sighed. "Well, unfortunately my phone is no longer with me. Jake dropped it in the sink and didn't tell me. So I have to use Edward's phone until I can get a replacement, which hopefully will be tomorrow."
"So that's what happened. Funny, Jake didn't mention that."
I sat up straight. "You talked to Jake?"
"I tried calling your phone several times because I wanted to make sure that everything was underway and that you and Edward were on your way home. But you didn't answer so I called Alice."
"What did she say?" I asked.
"She didn't answer her phone, so I called Jake to see if he heard from you."
I stood up and paced back and forth in the parking lot.
My father talked to Jake. Nervousness reverberated throughout my body. "Uh, you did?" I stammered.
"He told me to call Edward's phone if I wanted to reach you. Then he hung up."
I knew that if Jake hung up on my father then he was definitely mad.
"Shit," I muttered under my breath.
"I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have called him."
"Oh no, dad. It's not your fault. Something is going on between Jake and I. I'll tell you about it when I get home." I glanced at Edward, who was looking up at the Arch. "Edward's waiting for me. Honestly, I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around today so I should get back to him and practice being nicer."
"Where are you anyway?"
"We stopped in St. Louis on the way to see mom. I wanted to go up in the Arch."
My father laughed so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear.
"What's so funny?"
He regained his composure."You're going to take Edward up the Arch? Good luck, sweetie."
"Good luck? Why good luck?"
"Edward is afraid of heights," he explained.
My mouth dropped open. "Since when?"
"I didn't tell you because his cuts were superficial and he didn't even stay at the hospital for very long-"
"Dad! Hospital? What?! What happened?" I was astonished that no one told me about this.
"Honey, it was just a small accident. He made a full and quick recovery. It just didn't leave him with a favorable impression of heights, that's all."
I scoffed. "Dad!"
"Okay, okay. Just don't tell Edward I said anything. He went cliff diving down on First Beach with Emmett and Jasper. He took a tumble over the edge, bounced off a few rocks on the way down and landed in the water. He took a week off work but that was it. It wasn't that big of a deal."
I was livid! "No big deal?!"
"Bella, it's fine-"
"No, it's not fine! I can't believe you didn't tell me until now! And that's only because I forced it out of you."
"Bella, what would you have done if I did?" my father asked.
I stopped flailing my arms and dropped them by my sides. He had a point. What would I have done? Technically, it would've been more Jessica's concern more than mine.
The thought made me ill.
"I guess I would have called him to make sure he was all right."
"And what would that have done for Edward?"
"I guess...nothing..."
"It would have made you feel better that you were checking up on him, but a simple phone call was not what Edward needed. " He paused. "So this little trip up the Arch might be small potatoes to you, but to Edward, he's falling off that cliff again. There's only one difference this time..."
This time I'll be there to make sure he doesn't fall, I added silently to myself.
My father didn't finish his sentence. He knew I already had for him.
I pursed my lips. "I see what you mean. Crap, I wouldn't have asked him to go up there if I'd known about his accident."
"Did you ever think that because he's letting you take him up there, he actually wants to go? After all, this trip is all about confronting the past, isn't it? And setting things right?"
Dammit, my father was right – again.
"You're sure it's a good idea?" I asked.
"Honey, you get his ass up that contraption if it's the last thing you do. He might need a little hand holding, but I'm sure he will be fine."
Hand holding...Hmm...
I toyed with the idea. As long as I remained strictly professional about the whole thing, it was perfectly acceptable. I could do it.
"Okay,I better get back to him before he thinks I left him." I winced at my loaded words.
"Not a problem," My father coughed and his voice sounded weaker. I shouldn't have kept him on the phone so long. He needed his rest. "I love you, honey."
"Love you, dad." I hung up, feeling guilt-ridden. My father was sick, Edward went through a life-changing event, and I was completely powerless.
After wiping away the traces of my tears, I made my way over to Edward. One look into his dazzling green eyes told me that this hand holding thing might not be as easy as I originally thought. I prepared myself for the fact that I probably wouldn't want to let go once I touched him.
He looked so helpless as he gazed at the Arch and without any reservations, I placed my hand in his. This time, he wouldn't be alone.
And that brought me to where I was right now - waiting in the line for Edward to return.
I sighed as I glanced down at Edward's phone in my hand. He was still in the security office and my recollection of my conversation with my father had left me upset. Now I had to contend with the fact that no matter how I felt, Edward was with Jessica and I had to accept that.
What I needed to do was force my father's ridiculous ideas out of my head and focus on reconnecting with Jake and obtaining closure from Edward. I needed to speak with both of them so we could sort everything out.
As for Jake - I had the right to his truth about Leah, he had a right to hear the truth about what I did on New Years, and if we still wanted each other after all of that, then we'd go from there.
The chirping of Edward's phone snapped me out of my thoughts. Without hesitation, I flipped it open and saw that there was new text message from Jessica. Even though I knew it was wrong, I pressed the OK button and read the message that flashed on the screen.
I miss you. Bed is cold w/out you. Come home to me. Love, me.
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut and I realized that my desire over mending my friendship with Edward was in vain. He had Jessica now. He didn't need me in any way. The old burn of jealously and sadness seared through my veins.
She finally got him.
She won.
They were in love.
He would never be with her unless he loved her.
My face was wet and I desperately needed a tissue. I wasn't sure how long I'd been crying but I noticed that I had lost our place in line. It was much longer than earlier and I realized that going up the Arch was no longer an option.
He didn't need me to hold his hand and make him feel safe. He had Jessica.
My heart fell. I wouldn't be able to hold his hand, touch or kiss him again.
Wait! Kiss him? That should've been the farthest thing from my mind.
A vivid memory flashed in my head making my skin tingle and my body pulsate - Edward kissing me passionately outside the bar on New Years. I remembered how his hands felt as they caressed my body, the softness of his lips against my neck...my overwhelming desire to make him mine again and this time keep him forever.
Mine.
Shaking my head, I wiped my cheeks and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the images to go away. But I could still feel the memory of his hands all over me and how his muscles flexed under my touch.
I thought back to Jessica's text message and my chest seized up.
He was hers now. Not mine.
"I'm so stupid..." I muttered.
I rubbed my temples, trying to alleviate the pounding inside my head. I was going to go crazy if I didn't stop agonizing over things I couldn't change. All these ups and downs today were making me sick. I didn't feel like myself anymore. Old wounds resurfaced, new wounds developed, leaving me feeling raw and painful, and I was the only one who could heal me. The problem was I didn't know what to do.
Don't let this happen. You don't want him. You're only thinking you do because you know he's with Jessica.
I told myself anything I could to make the pain go away. The phone mocked me as it rested in my clammy hand. I needed to talk to someone and hear a voice of reason. Someone unbiased and willing to looked at both sides.
I dialed the first number that came into my head.
Hey, this is Jasper, and I obviously can't come to the phone...
"Fuck me!" I muttered as I disconnected the call.
Jasper was always a good listener.
Who else could I call?
I exhaled deeply and dialed the next number even though I knew I would regret it. But desperate times...
Hello, this is Renee Swan. I can't come to the phone right now...
I cried even harder. I must have looked absolutely mad, standing amongst a crowd, clutching a phone to my ear, and sobbing like a baby. For once in my life, I just wanted my mom.
The voicemail beeped.
I sniffled and wiped my nose with the sleeve of Edward's coat. "Hi...mom?" I cleared my throat. "I know that I'm seeing you tomorrow when we come by to visit but I really needed to hear your voice right now. I had a really rough day and I d-don't just know w-what to think anymore." My voice broke and I glanced over at the security office, where Edward stood next to the Ranger, watching me.
Suddenly, I felt bolder than ever before. "Jake cheated on me, mom," I stated into the phone. It felt good to say it out loud - all of my sadness, betrayal, confusion - I couldn't keep it bottled up inside anymore. "I...ahh..." The tears spilled down my face. "I'm sorry, I'll tell you more tomorrow. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I'm in St. Louis with Edward," I sighed. "It's a long story...anyway, I'll call you tomorrow when we get close."
I ended the call and hung my head down, trying to get my crying under control. I didn't look up when I saw a pair of boots nudge my shoes delicatly. I didnt't even hear him walk up.
"Hey," Edward whispered as I put my face in my hands. A jot of electricity blazed through my veins from his close proximity and my heart skipped a beat.
I didn't look up. I didn't want him to see me like this.
I felt his hand grip my wrists. He tried to pull them down and I moaned in protest.
"Bella, what happened? Please, tell me what's wrong," he begged. His concern weakened me and I allowed my hands to fall. Keeping my head down, I studied my shoes. I still wasn't strong enough to look him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry," I sniffled as I played with the hem of Edward's leather coat as it hung down my body.
"Look at me."
I shook my head.
"Please, I need you to look at me," Edward whispered.
I kept my eyes to the ground. "I'm fine, really."
Edward placed his hands on either side of my face and his skin felt warm as he stroked my cheeks. Lifting my head up slowly, I finally looked into his eyes. His touch ignited me. I never thought I would experience this ever again. As I studied his sincere, concerned expression, I wondered once again if he felt the same thing I did.
Edward pressed his lips together and his hands twitched slightly. He opened his mouth to speak but then shut it promptly. His thumbs rubbed the apples of my cheeks and he looked down at my lips as his fingertips grazed my neck.
Heat radiated from his body as it pressed against mine, penetrating my soul and warming my heart. I hadn't noticed that my hands that were once down at my sides, were now wrapped around his waist.
"Why are you crying?" he asked softly. I didn't trust myself to speak. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Tell me. Let me help you."
I shook my head and dropped my hands. I needed time to clear my head. I couldn't think about Edward this way.
"Um, I just was leaving a message for Renee and...something got in my eye." I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand. "It, uh, really hurt, but it's gone now." I removed my hand and blinked rapidly.
Edward looked amused "You're a shit liar."
"I'm not lying." I bit my lower lip, which I always did, of course, when I was lying. Edward knew that too.
Running his hand through his hair, he flashed me his crooked grin. "Yes, you are.
I huffed, turning my back to him so he couldn't read my expression anymore. "You just know me sooooo well."
"Some things never change."
"Don't remind me."
"So....I'll ask again. What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it," I replied. I folded my arms across my chest, "Can we either get back in line or leave?"
"Not until you tell me what's wrong," Edward argued. He stepped closer behind me and swept my ponytail forward over my shoulder. I felt his warm breath on my neck as he placed both hands on my shoulders and squeezed. Before I could control my actions, I instinctively leaned back into him. His chest rumbled with a slow groan and the vibrations made me dizzy. I let my head fall back against his torso and I closed my eyes.
"Bella?" he whispered into my ear. His husky tone made my knees weak.
"Shh, don't talk."
I didn't want to ruin anything, for at this moment, everything was absolutely perfect.
He chuckled, sliding his hands down my arms. "You're avoiding."
"Well, you're distracting me."
"Is it Jake?"
My eyes shot open and my body went rigid. Lifting my head off his chest, I stood up straight.
So much for not ruining the moment...
I turned around and Edward's expression looked unapologetic.
It made me furious.
"No, it's not," I hissed. "Why would you think it's about Jake?"
"Because of what he did and-"
"What are you talking about?"
He grimaced and quickly corrected himself. "I just mean that what he did was wrong. No one should disrespect you like that."
I had no words. Edward knew about Jake? I cursed Alice.
"First of all, Jake is none of your business and secondly, you're the last person who should talk about respect. As I recall, you didn't do show me much respect in the past. So please, save your sentiments for someone else. I'm sure you already have another person in mind."
"Oh, really?" Edward challenged as he stepped towards me. "And what do you know about that?"
"I know that your bed is cold right now," I hissed, shoving his cell phone into his hand. "Here, you have a message."
With that, I stormed towards the parking lot, hearing Edward cursing under his breath behind me.
I only made it a few feet when I felt his hand on my forearm.
"It's not what you think." He breathed into my hair as I stopped in my tracks.
I kept my back to him. "She loves you," I closed my eyes, hating those words spill out of my mouth.
"She might."
"She does," I insisted."She always has, Edward."
I turned around, meeting his sullen expression. He simply nodded. "She's a lot different than you remember."
"That's great for you." I forced a smile.
I wanted to ask him if he loved her too, but right now, I didn't think I could hear his confirmation without it tearing me apart from the inside out.
Edward's shoulders hung impossibily low,"I don't want to fight anymore, Bella," he sighed. "If you don't want to talk to me about Jake then that's fine. I'm not going to push you. It's obvious that it's a touchy subject. But that means we're also not going to talk about...her."
I was relieved that he didn't say her name. The only name I wanted to spill from those tantalizing lips of his was mine.
God! Stop it Bella!
"Okay," I agreed. I was just glad that I didn't have to elaborate about Jake, even though Edward seemed to know more than I originally thought.
He ran his hand through his hair. "The thing is, Bella, I'm tired of trying to stay away from you. Our lives are too intertwined for that. I also don't have the strength or desire to remain mad at you anymore."
"I'm tired too," I admitted as I wrapped my arms around my waist.
"Let's just be friends again."
Could I do that? Just be friends with Edward?
"All right, friends." I extended my hand to him and he accepted.
"Friends," he agreed. Reluctantly, I let go of his hand. My skin tingled in the wake of his touch but I forced myself to ignore the sensation.
Clapping his hands together, "Now, here's the deal. Let's go up in the Arch and then we'll go get something to eat." He rubbed his stomach. "I'm starving."
I rolled my eyes. "I did offer you food."
Edward grinned. "No, as I recall, you offered me junk."
"It's still food."
"Junk food," he argued, his smile never faltering.
I narrowed my eyes playfully. "I thought we were finally calling a truce here?"
He held his hands up in surrender. "You're right. I think we are officially calling a truce. Maybe this time we can stick to it," he winked.
"You wanna take a bet on who breaks it first?" I teased, playfully shoving his arm.
"I know it will be you," he chuckled as he took my elbow, guiding me towards the doors. "You're too hot headed. I give you a couple of hours before you start trying to rip me a new one."
"Now, this sounds more like a challenge." I cocked my eyebrows. "What do I get if I win?"
As he contemplated the prize, he rubbed his chin and grazed his tongue along his bottom lip. "Beer is on me tonight." He held up his forefinger as his other hand released my elbow and opened the door. "Only if you make it through the ride up the Arch and dinner without getting angry at me." We completely bypassed the line and I noticed that Edward was leading me towards the ticket window.
"What are we doing? The line is over there." I pointed behind us.
"I made some arrangements before I left the security office," he admitted as we approached the ticket window. He leaned in close, his lips grazing my ear. "I had the Ranger that handled my gun, get us some tickets so we wouldn't have to wait in line."
"You greased him, didn't you?" I giggled.
"Maybe a little." Edward shrugged with a smile. He kept that same dazzling grin plastered on his face as he talked to the ticket agent. I watched as Edward flirted with her unabashedly as though it was second nature to him. She passed him two tickets for the tram and turned to face me.
"Ready?" he winked.
I darted back and forth between him and the woman who provided the tickets. Rolling my eyes, I suppressed a giggle. "Yep."
We walked around the museum to the line by the tram doors. The line was much shorter there so it seemed like our wait would be minimal.
Edward leaned against the wall across from me as I stood by the velvet rope and we waited in comfortable silence. It was the first time I felt comfortable the entire trip. Maybe the promise of this supposed truce/friendship was a good plan.
"So, we have a deal then?" Edward asked.
I shrugged. "Sure, I can't turn down free beer."
Laughing, Edward and I moved up the line. "You're so sure you'll win, huh?" he teased.
"As long as you promise you won't deliberately go out of your way to make me mad so I'll lose."
"I can't make any promises," he quipped. I hit him on the arm, "Fine! Fine! Deal. Just stop with the bodily harm."
"So what if I break first, what do you win?" I asked.
The line advanced towards the tram doors and Edward didn't respond. Instead he turned pale eying the tram doors and he visibly gulped. The tram attendant directed us into what looked like a Jettison pod from the Death Star. It was small, fitting about six people, albeit very uncomfortably.
Edward looked at me before getting in and the fear was etched on his whole face. My stomach dropped and I felt so guilty making him do this. But he got on anyway without protest and warily took his seat.
We huddled close together on the seats as four more people crammed into the tram. I was practically sitting on Edward's lap. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye to see if he was comfortable about our ascent.
He looked tense and the furrow between his eyebrows deepened. The tram jerked, pressing me into him. I felt him stiffen next to me and I moved my hand down my knee next to his hand. Our knees touched together and my fingertips brushed his. He looked at me and I smiled, letting my pinkie finger gently move back and forth against his skin.
The all-familiar tingling sensation erupted up my arm, but this time I knew he felt it too because he linked his pinkie around mine and smiled.
My breath hitched at our innocent touch while he closed his eyes and pressed his lips together.
After a few moments, his eyelids fluttered open. His stare looked dark and serious.
"Bella, if I win, then we talk about...everything."
Shit.
A/N OH these two! Finally, both are resigning to some what of a friendship, wonder if they can keep it up.
I also became aware that my Aussie following is quite large. Thanks to TwyLynzi who let me know that a bunch of folks Down Under are talking Treading Water business on webchats. All I can say is WOW and were do I sign up to talk to:)
I'm also going on vacation and will have my laptop with me. Taking the kid to Disney for the week. Who knows, TW 16 might have E/B doing it on It's a Small World....LOL!!
Recs
Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon. Domward at his finest. I can't say enough and Icy makes me LOL with our tweets. GO READ!
No Place like Home by tellingmelies. Playboy Edward and witty Bella. A must read! SRSLY!
Misconceptions and Fresh Chanes by Jazz2305. Really funny, I really did LOL the whole time.
Next chapter is Edward.
So who do you think if going to lose the bet? Leave me sugar and tell me.
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