Chapter No. 5
"Two Ranmas? Also, Ryoga vs. Shampoo!"

Life with Ranma brought a whole new dimension of excitement to Akane's life. She wasn't in love with him (Oh, certainly not!) but she was amazed at how quickly she got used to having him around. So wacky was his curse that the hapless martial artist seemed to attract further wackiness wherever he went. For the most part, he and Akane ignored the fact that they were 'engaged'. Genma habitually made rash promises, so the two expected the whole thing to blow over anyway. They became friends. It had been a while since Ranma had anyone his own age to talk to, and Akane was a lot friendlier to Ranma than she would have been a while ago. That did not mean to say that they did not have their differences, and it was a common sight in Nerima in those days to see Akane chasing Ranma with a mallet in hand because he had called her a tomboy or had insulted her cooking. Sometimes, they refused to talk to each other for days on end.

It was during one of these uncivil periods that Ranma was walking the streets alone after school. He was hungry but knew better than to go back to Akane's house when she was in one of her moods. As he was penniless, he was considering turning into a girl and charming some young gentleman into buying lunch for him (which suggested something of Nabiki's nature must have rubbed off on him).

Ranma never got to carry out his plan, for as he was crossing the road, who should he bump into but Shampoo! He instantly paled.

You might have been wondering what history Shampoo and Ranma had to have such a difficult relationship. When Ranma first turned into a girl, she stumbled across the Chinese Amazon tribe and fought Shampoo for some victuals. Ranma won, so now Shampoo wanted to kill him (er… her). Still doesn't make sense? Well, that's Chinese Amazons for you.

There was one thing which Ranma had forgotten about Shampoo. She had tracked him down, yes, but she had only ever seen his female form. Her feelings towards bumping into male Ranma were far removed from murderous.

"Shampoo sorry!" the Chinese girl gasped, testing out her recently learnt knowledge of the Japanese language. "You hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," Rama gulped. He began to edge away. Slowly was the key.

"You is sure?" Shampoo drew closer. "You is…?" She searched her mind, trying to recall the word for 'pale'.

Ranma swallowed nervously. No doubt to him it must have seemed as if Shampoo was trying to remember his name and when she did he would be sorry. It seemed like one of those times when a swift tactical retreat was necessary. He broke into a run.

"Hold!"

Ranma slowly turned his head around. Shampoo had latched onto his arm and there was an expression on her face which he had never seen before. It wasn't full of the hate and scorn he was used to dealing with. It was…

Slowly, in a sensual sort of manner, Shampoo closed her eyes and pushed her lips forward.

Ranma took the opportunity to run for the hills.

When Shampoo realised that she was only kissing air, she opened her eyes and stared blankly into the distance. She must have been too forward. A sense of disappointment overwhelmed her and she didn't notice the people who were staring at her odd behaviour and out-of-place clothing.

Then she heard a familiar voice. "Ah! There you are!" Shampoo turned around and saw Ryoga running towards her. She remembered that she had been waiting for him to finish in the toilets for about an hour now. He must have gotten lost inside the toilet cubicle again.

She sighed. "Stupid Ryoga."

"Hey!" Ryoga shouted indignantly. "I heard that!"

Shampoo sighed again.

"What's up with you?" Ryoga asked. Over the past few weeks, he and Shampoo had developed some kind of grudging companionship, though they never really got along. They were forced to cooperate because one had what the other lacked. Shampoo was an excellent tracker and didn't get lost easily, while Ryoga could help her get around Japan and could teach her Japanese. He couldn't really open up to her because he still felt raw from his experience with Akane, and Shampoo thought him too dumb to function.

However, she did respond to his question. "Shampoo," she explained, "meet pretty boy." Then she muttered something in Chinese.

Ryoga, who was definitely uninterested in Shampoo's love life, merely said, "I think it's time we got to Furinkan High. That's where Ranma is, right?" He had to speak slowly so Shampoo could understand.

Only once did Ranma looked over his shoulder to see whether Shampoo was pursuing him or not, and that was when he stopped. He fell to his knees, panting and shaking all over. Shampoo was the one person he couldn't handle. She had been about to give his male form the Kiss of Death and then he wouldn't be safe wherever he went. The fact that she had chased him all the way from China was testament to that. Ranma had no idea what he was going to say to Akane when she found out.

But then he stopped, scratched his head and considered. Had Shampoo really been about to give him the Kiss of Death? He remembered the look on her face before she had leaned forward to kiss him. A hungry look, a lean look, an enamoured look. Just thinking about it made him blush. Crazy as it sounded, Shampoo had looked rather cute. Ranma compared that with thinking the devil was cute. He felt extremely intimidated.

He looked up and realised that he was on the grounds of Furinkan High. That was actually too far from where he had met Shampoo. Cursing, he realised he must have run in circles in his blind panic.

He was about to find somewhere else to go (Akane was starting to seem a lot more attractive when pitted against Shampoo) when the sprinklers turned on and drenched him. Ranma was starting to take his sporadic transformations into a girl rather philosophically now.

He did, however, find it hard to be philosophical about seeing Shampoo storm into view, all cuteness evaporated and Chui in hand. He 'eeped'.

"Ranma! Kill!" Shampoo screeched, lunging forward swiftly. Ranma darted out of the way and quickly looked around for an escape avenue. He was about to jump over the sport shed and slip away over the rooftops when he heard a stranger's yell:

"No, Shampoo! That's the wrong person!"

Ranma blinked. He hadn't noticed earlier that Shampoo had arrived with someone else but now he took stock of the stranger. It was a boy around his own age, a good deal stouter and burlier than he was. There was something oddly familiar about his face, Ranma reflected. Perhaps it was someone he had met briefly on a training trip but he couldn't quite remember…

The boy was shouting. "Shampoo, that's a girl! How could she be Ranma?"

"What you mean?" Shampoo stopped and retorted. "Ranma woman!"

Ranma vaguely wondered whether this distraction ought to be a good opportunity for escape. He continued to stare.

"Do you mean to say," the boy seemed to be seething in rage, "that all this time you've been tracking down the wrong person for me?"

"Is Ryoga's problem," Shampoo answered smartingly.

Ryoga… Where had Ranma heard that name before? Ah, yes, that person Akane constantly talked about! His old rival!

Ryoga, meanwhile, still failed to recognise who Ranma was. (Not surprisingly, since Ranma acquired breasts since their last meeting.) He was wrapped up in his first real argument with Shampoo. He had up till now just went along with what she said, thinking her to be right, and now that he figured she was wrong, he felt angry enough to hit something.

As it turned out, Ryoga was not the one who resorted to violence first. Shampoo, who had now had quite enough of Ryoga's stupidity to encumber her, leaned forward and punched him in the stomach. Once he got over being winded, he forgot all about her being a girl and retaliated. Shampoo blocked his first strike by crossing her Chui in front of her. Ryoga growled and drew his umbrella. What followed was a bit like a fencing match, what with the two lunging at each other and parrying each other's strikes. Shampoo had two weapons and was faster than Ryoga, meaning she got a lot of blows in before he did. But none of them seemed to faze him. And with just one hefty blow he was able to disarm Shampoo of both of her weapons.

She suddenly stopped and went very white. She may have felt close to painful injury but she didn't attempt to block herself from her opponent at all. In any case, Ryoga would not have struck her because he was afraid that through his immense strength he would cause her serious injury. He didn't dislike Shampoo that much. But he was considering giving her an earful until Ranma called out his name.

"Ryoga!"

Ryoga turned and stared at the red-haired pigtailed girl Ranma. "How do you know my name?" he gasped. He was certain he had never seen the girl in his life.

"Never mind that," Ranma said quickly. "Do you realise what you've done?"

"Huh? Whaddya mean?"

"Look." Ranma pointed at the still immobile Shampoo. "Do you know what happens when an outsider beats a Chinese Amazon in combat? They swear to track you down and kill you! That's why Shampoo's chasing me!"

"So you mean…" Ryoga went very white himself.

At that moment Shampoo began moving. She slowly shook her head and blinked. Then she stared at Ryoga for a very long and sickening moment. Her eyes told him that she thought of him as lower than worms. But for some reason, she could not keep up the strong, prideful Amazon glare. She looked back down at her feet.

"Nihao," she said in a small voice, "husband."