Astor holds Harrison at her hip, watching Dexter as he prepares dinner. He feels her eyes on him, but keeps his sight resolutely on the food he's cooking. Astor then marches to his side and he knows she'll ask or tell him something that will leave him on edge.
"Dexter?"
He looks down at her, turning the stove off, "Yes."
She tilts her head to the side, "Do you still love Mom?"
Dexter stills (he hadn't been expecting that), "Astor..."
His eyes shift down to his wedding ring, a reminder of the man he could have been without his Dark Passenger, how as long as he had someone who believed that there was good in him, he could too.
He'd hidden the truth from Rita, but she had always believed that he would eventually overcome whatever darkness resided within him.
And he had loved her for the unwavering faith he didn't think he deserved but nevertheless treasured.
His eyes flutter shut, before he takes a deep breath, "Your mom was perfect."
He glances at Astor. So much like her mother. From the way she held Harrison, to the scrutinizing glint in her eye.
He sighs, "She was the best person I knew." His voice lowers, but his words are unmistakable. "I'll always love her."
He's surprised by the sincerity in his voice. It appears to throw Astor somewhat off guard, before the mask of obnoxious teenager easily slides into place.
She tucks her hair behind her ears, chin slightly raised, "OK."
She then ventures back into the living room, calling over her shoulder, "I think she would have liked Lumen."
She places Harrison in his play pen and watches over him.
Dexter looks on. The void inside of him left from Rita's death suddenly feels less like a gaping wound and more like a healing scar.
He will always be grateful for her. To her.
For always believing there was more to him than what he'd limited himself to. For giving him a son he never knew he wanted until they'd discovered she was pregnant. For trusting him enough to share her family, her children with him after their own father threatened to break it.
Rita will always remain a joyful memory and he will always believe she died an unjust death (because of him), but he thinks that she would want him to find that happiness she thought he deserved.
He likes to think that Astor could be right.
That Rita would have liked Lumen.
When Dexter asks Lumen to come over for pizza night, she's only slightly hesitant before she agrees and Astor is a little less antagonistic, glares are barely there (though she may have just grown more adept at hiding it). It isn't much; more than inches, less than baby steps.
But it's something.
It's progress.
It's close to what he'd shared with Rita. It's the closest he's ever been to having it all.
TBC