Welcome to: Jazzybell64 and eMmEtT's LiTtLe-SisS! Thanks soo much for your reviews! Dream Painter…like I said…it's true—every word. Including where I met Jasper. And don't worry I'm a bit of a romantic freaky geek myself, and you don't sound like a suck up BTW you sound honest and sincere :D and I appreciate that. Anyway, I apologize for not updating sooner but heeeeereee we go!
Dad,
Jasper and I have started a little game…I think you would find it funny. Anyway the purpose of The Game…is not to think about The Game. The Game is to be touching as much as possible without getting caught. So far we found out that if we sit with our knees up while watching the Hospital Approved movies…we can hold hands. And if we can't do that we're touching feet…and the first person to think of The Game loses….damn I just lost didn't I? Anyway….I lied to him. I told him that I was a pretender as well. I told him that I used to be a cutter, but that I didn't cut to die just to FEEL. Technically that isn't a lie…if you set that statement back in Edwards time period….but I don't want to lose him just yet. For the first time in half a year I smiled dad…a REAL smile…the one you loved so much. How am I supposed to tell him that I don't plan on seeing him ever again? How am I supposed to tell him that right this minute…I'm planning a new way to die? I want to tell him dad…he knows something's wrong (A/N as of this moment Jasper is HUMAN but that is going to change) it's like he can feel what I can…I know it's selfish…but is it wrong for me to be happy daddy?
Bella,
The Mockingbird
His foot twitched against mine and I glanced at him as he passed a note to me.
Ms. Fake Smile,
Is that going to be his new name for me or something? Why do I find it amusing?
I can see the guilt on your face as plain as day…. When are you going to tell me what's wrong?
Mr. Dirty Blonde.
Sigh, same as usual…I'm just have to smile the one he claims to notice…and repeat the words "I'm okay" until he believes them. I've been here for going on a month and a half, Bridgett has been gone for three days, I miss my cigarettes, and I just want to die…really is that so difficult? Jasper has been here for going on four days now…but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives…we complete each other. I want so badly to say "fuck the rules" and just have FUN. Scratch that I want HIM to say fuck it and just kiss me. I can't tell if he really likes me or not…but I love him. Already. Is that wrong?
I was right in my first impression of him, he has done jail time for assault. His step father attacked him and he fought back but as a minor he got scars from his uncle and jail time. The beauty of our Justice System…. I finally got removed from suicide observation and got my shoes back at least. They told me for my breaks I was allowed to go to the gym with the rest of the group…however I refused to go unless Jasper got to go as well… That day we made our bracelets. In crafts he made me a bracelet that spelled my name—backwards, out of beads. I found it sweet. Mine, however, I was much more proud of. I made him a bracelet that was much more symbolic. I sent him a message of things I loved and missed through that bracelet…and we smiled as we slipped them on.
I slipped him my phone number because God knows he earned it… you know…when I first woke up here, I thought I was in hell…but honestly…I wouldn't mind staying here with you forever…
"I wouldn't mind either Bella." I jumped when he whispered into my ear. Did I tell you yet that I SWEAR the bugger can read my mind sometimes….
When you were little, it didn't take much to amuse you. Funny faces were really all it took… When Renee remarried to that god awful Phil, your smile began to fade away. There are times babygirl when I wished I could read your mind…like now. You are all snuggled up against me watching Lord of the Rings with a half-grin on your face as I stroke your hair. Lord knows what's going through that head of yours child but that little smirk of yours will not be permanent…
I promise.
Jasper and I were watching Wall-E for the FIFTH time when his doctor walked up to us…Dr. Young Walker, and asked to speak to Jasper privately. This happened occasionally where they would take you aside and ask you questions like "Do you have any intentions of hurting yourself?" yes "Have you thought of hurting yourself in the past couple days?" yes but of course you answer "no" to each. So when his doctor left I was baffled by the upset look in his eyes. "Jasper? What's wrong?"
"My insurance doesn't cover me staying here Bella…I'm going home."
"When?" My heart was breaking and I was afraid it might show on my face.
"I'm not sure."
Three hours later
I was watching him play basket ball when the door opened and in walked one of the staff. "Jasper's mother is here." Panic flared my heart up to my throat Today? He was leaving TODAY? He walked over to me and lifted my chin and I thought finally finally the boy was going to kiss me….but no…he just hugged me and wished me luck. If I wasn't surrounded by doctors I would have punched a wall when I watched him leave…I just couldn't cry…I wanted to, I TRIED even…I just couldn't. It took until I crawled into bed that night for the tell tale thought to cross my mind,
Fuck it girl…don't be upset over him, you're never going to see him again. Besides, what's the point? You are only going to die anyway.
I guess there is no such thing as a fairytale ending….
More to come! Promise! Reviews would be AMAZING!
Just
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhht
Heeeere!
Yay!
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