Everything Has Changed

(Senior Year - McKinley)

Walking through the doors, she feels all eyes on her as if they all know something has changed overnight. As if they all know what she and Finn have done the night before. As if they all know what she regrets and why.

She goes straight for her locker, trying to avoid any gaze as much as possible and she's lucky that Finn is still doing football training, because she doesn't know how she could have faced him. Or anyone else.

She rummages through her locker, searching for the books for her classes when someone leans on the lockers beside her, catching her attention because she knows those eyes. She would recognize those eyes anywhere and they're staring at her, in the way she hasn't been able to stare at herself for the whole day.

"Hello, Quinn." She closes the locker with a soft thud and she doesn't need to ask, to know what's troubling the blonde girl.

"We should talk." She looks around, but no one is really paying any attention to them. No one is paying attention to the former most popular girl having a chag with the former underdog. There are not many steps separating them on the social ladder anymore.

"I have an early lecture to attend, Quinn. I am afraid it will have to wait." She walks past her but Quinn is quick to catch her by the wrist and lead her the opposite way, towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

The bathroom where they usually meet up.

"Quinn Fabray, let me go." She tries to pull back from her grip but the blonde keeps the steady grip until they walk through the bathroom door.

"Out. Now." She barks orders like she is still the top dog of McKinley. She makes the two freshman gals scurr away, in a hurry, to avoid her wrath and Rachel is both impressed and annoyed by it.

"You could have been nicer." She rubs her wrist when Quinn drops her hand and they stand there, in front of each other. "They were here before us."

"You slept with Finn." She crosses her arms over her chest and holds her head up, high.

She only misses the proverbial ponytail (and the uniform) and she would be the same girl standing at the top of the human pyramid.

She would be the girl she has wanted to be for three years, without the burden of being it.

"What Finn and I do are none of your business, Quinn." She crosses her own arms over her chest.

"It becomes everyone's business when your boyfriend gloats with half of the school, because he finally popped your cherry." She takes a step forward. "It becomes my business when you came to me to ask me for advice and you did the opposite of what I recommended. Why?"

"He told everybody?" She looks away, unsure. It's the last thing she wants. She doesn't want Quinn to see how hurt she is.

"You had a life plan, Rachel. You wanted to wait till you were 25, why did you sleep with him?" She sighs. "He didn't force you did he? Or I-"

"You what? You will do what, Quinn?!" She takes her anger out on her. On the only person who seems to be in her corner, after all, but it's easier to take it out on Quinn. It's easier to be angry at her, than at Finn or even herself. "You wanted this to happen didn't you? You couldn't wait to come here and rub it in my face!"

"That's not what I wanted to happen." She takes a step forward. "I'm not here to fight with you."

"You can leave, then. There's no reason for you to stay." She turns around, facing the hand towels dispenser. "You got to say what you wanted. Leave, now."

"I'm not leaving until I know why." Shd holds her ground. "You were not drunk right? I can only imagine Puck's advices"

"I owed him, okay? He's been so good to me lately and he cooked us dinner and he tried so much." She sniffles. "He had a bad day and he needed that. He needed me to make it right."

"Do you hear yourself? You owed it to him? You owed it to yourself. If you tell me you wanted it because you felt ready, I will walk out of that door." She points to the doors behind her back. "But you'll have to look me in the eyes."

"Quinn…" She looks away again, wiping her cheeks angrily.

"Rachel, damn it." She swears even if she is supposed not to. She steps forward and when she opens her mouth to speak, the brunette simply collapses against her chest without any warning.

She clings to her, with both arms and cries. She cries against her chest, sobbing in the fabric of her cardigan and there's not much she can do really. She just circles her head with her own forearms, keeping her close as she lets it out.

As she lets it all out.

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(Freshman year - NYADA)

Morning comes but she has no alarm clock to shut, because NYADA can wait. She has been skipping classes for a couple of weeks now.

Since she has been feeling odd and not really herself.

Since she has dropped that stick in the trash can in the bathroom, burrowed an excessive amount of toilet paper that doesn't settle well with her "green" spirit.

Since she has cut ties with a guy who might be the father or maybe not.

Maybe not because she has let herself go back through the memory lane and make the same old mistakes again, with Finn of all the people. With the guy she has wanted to run from and yet, she always ends up going back to.

She rolls over in her small bed and hugs the pillow to her chest, curling around it. She has no tears to shed. She has many dreams to break. All the dreams for Broadway and a bright future that might not even happen. Not with a baby on the way and a small town to go back to.

She looks over at the phone on the nightstand and reaches for it. Brody's name is not even an option and Finn's is a too obvious one.

She doesn't need to hear from either of them, whether there's something (or someone) that she needs to deal with.

She doesn't need or want to hear from anyone but one person that she hasn't heard from in a while.

Too much time has passed. Too much for what they had promised each other, when they had parted ways in a high school bathroom.

It rings.

It's free.

It rings again and again. It rings for so long that she almost hears it close to her. Closer than 83 miles.

It rings so loud that it becomes an echo, resonating across the silent loft.

"You can stop calling, you know?" The call doesn't get picked up, but the voice is still there. It is coming from the doorway rather than from beside her, on the mattress.

"You're here." Rachel sits up too quickly and she almost feels dizzy. The nausea waves hit her and she has to keep herself from making a mess in front of her.

"So it seems." Quinn hands her a mug of chamomile tea and takes a seat on the edge of the mattress. "You should have called me."

"I did." She nods to her phone.

"Days ago, Rachel." She sighs. "I had to hear it from Santana that you needed me here? When did we let it happen?"

"You look so happy at Yale, Quinn." She sits her mug down. "I don't think I've ever seen you so happy and that's because you're away from Lima and your past and-"

"You? Do you think I'm happy because I don't see you and my high school friends anymore?" She reaches for her chin, cupping it. "I'm free from everything I was supposed to be in Lima, but not from who I've become. I am still your friend."

"I missed you." Rachel nuzzles her palm, sniffling.

"I missed you too." Quinn leans forward to kiss her forehead. "So, what do you want to do?"

"What do you think I should do?" She holds onto her wrist.

"It's not my body, Rachel, but I'll be there for whatever you may want to do." She brushed her thumb over the side of her jawline. "Did you take another test?"

"No, but…" She looks away. "I don't know who might be the father. What have I done?" She drops her face in her palms.

"Nothing. You've done nothing wrong okay?" She rubs the back of her head. "You shouldn't blame yourself for anything. Have you booked an appointment with a Doctor? They will tell you if you're really pregnant or it is a false alarm."

"It's later today, I asked Santana to go with me but…" She looks up at her.

"I'll take you." She pulls her against her chest and holds her tightly. She holds her and calms her down, hoping it will be alright.

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(Sophomore - Yale/NYADA)

She has just started her second year at NYADA when she makes use of the Metro Passes that Quinn has bought for them.

Waking up at Yale, in Quinn's new single dorm room, is different from waking up in New York.

There is no one shouting profanities from the floor above her head.

There is no one bickering for hot water - Kurt always consumes most of it - or for the dirty dishes in the sink, from the night before.

There is no ambulance sound or noises from the streets, that are so crowded even at 7.30 in the morning, with all the people rushing to start their day.

Waking up at Yale is just like she has imagined it to be. It is quiet and silent. She wakes to the sound of Quinn's alarm clock, from the bedside table the furthest away from her. She wakes to the sun peaking out from behind the closed blinds,

She wakes to Quinn curled beside her, posed even in her sleep. She is a restless sleeper, rolling over to find the best way to sleep, but Quinn is exactly the same way she has left her, the night before, when they have fallen asleep together.

Quinn is lying on her back, one hand over her stomach and the other over her phone, to shut it and give them a few more moments of rest. There are no classes and they are just supposed to go around New Haven and campus.

She is dozing off again, with a light pout on her lips, and Rachel can't keep her eyes off her. She can't tear her gaze away. She can't look anywhere else but at her friend - her best friend - sleeping beside her.

"Is it the hair?" Quinn mumbles with a sleepy tone.

"What hair?" She rolls on her side and scoots closer, burrowed under the duvet they're sharing.

"My hair. I know I have a bad case of bed-hair." She tries to reach for it but Rachel stops her. She covers her hand with hers and curls against her shoulder.

"You're fine. Your hair reminds me of Junior year." She rubs her thumb over the back of Quinn's hand.

"I was a bitch back then." She chuckles softly and rests her cheek against the top of her head. "I was obsessed with the Prom thing and Finn. God, what's wrong with us?"

"We didn't know better." Rachel giggles against the fabric of her night shirt. "At least you moved on sooner from him."

"You're still into him? Rach, c'mon…" Quinn looks at her with a proverbial raised eyebrow.

"No no. I'm done okay? Last I heard, he is dating a girl from Lima." She looks at her. "Kurt told me that."

"You didn't tell me how last Friday's date went. How was the guy?" Quinn settles back down and when Rachel snorts, she knows it didn't go well.

"He took me to a basketball game to join his friends. They shouted and cursed most of the time, while I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to root for." She shakes her head. "I left and he didn't even notice I was gone."

"Geez, what a disaster." She chuckles. "That's why I haven't been on a date in months, I really don't want to deal with this nonsense."

"So, no one has asked you out?" She sits up to look at her friend.

"They did, but I said no. I am not interested, Rach." She looks at her. "Don't look at me that way."

"Quinn, you can't lock yourself in here ok? You're a beautiful and smart girl and this is Yale. This is the "cream" of America, there must be someone who can catch your eye and be worth it of your time." She is confused. "We need to go out and have fun. We will find you someone."

"No, thanks." She slips out of bed. "Now, get ready so I can take you around campus and show you my world."

"Quinn, really? We're not changing subject here." She follows after the blonde, who is gathering the bathroom stuff to take a shower.

"Rachel, I don't need you to be my wingwoman. I'll get myself a date when I want to." She sighs, tiredly.

"Fine, but we're still going out tonight." She snatches the towels from her hands. "And it's my turn to shower!" She bolts to the bathroom, leaving the blonde dumbfounded in the middle of her dorm room.

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She hasn't been able to sleep at all. She hasn't been able to keep her eyes closed, not even for ten minutes. She should have not let her leave with that woman, but Quinn is a free woman and who is she?

Quinn is a very pretty young woman, who catches anyone's eye and she is just…she is just her friend. She is her best friend but still nothing more.

Quinn is a very pretty young woman who has not come home yet and she is worried sick. And…well, she can't exactly pinpoint what she's feeling but by the way her anger is slowly building up (aggravated by her lack of sleep), she is not happy. She is not happy at all.

"Rachel, what are you doing up already?" Quinn slides the door of the loft open with the spare keys that she has made her.

"Why don't you try again and ask me if I've even gone to sleep?" She scoffs. "Do you even know what time it is?"

"No, I really lost track of it." She yawns loudly and checks her phone. "Geez, it's 6 already?" She chuckles.

"You find it funny? You didn't text or call or share where you've been. I was sick worried about you." She raises her voice but she remembers Santana and Kurt in the other room.

"I'm not a kid, Rach. I know how to take care of myself." She takes her jacket and boots off. "And where do you think I've been huh? You saw me leaving with that girl no? You took me out to have fun and now, you're giving me the third degree for it?"

"Well, anything could have happened to you. What if that girl was just a bait and you got kidnapped by some sex trafficker? I watch Law&Order SVU. Bad things happen here!" She rambles.

"You're just being dramatic, Rachel." She walks past her to get a glass of water. "I went home with this girl and lost track of time ok? Sorry I didn't text you but I was otherwise occupied."

"Was it good?" She asks, regretting it as soon as she does.

"I'll pretend you didn't ask me that." She twists the bottle open and takes a long sip. She is too tired to deal with this.

"Why not? We're friends and I'll tell you how my dates go, don't I?" She leans against the doorway.

"Dates, Rachel. This wasn't a date." She leans against the counter watching her.

"You didn't get her number? You're one of those who won't call people back after sleeping together?" She crosses arms over her chest. "I thought you were better than that."

"Dear God, Rachel. What the fuck is wrong with you?" She slams her bottle on the counter. "Why don't you just say it without making up excuses?"

"This is not a hotel okay? You left with that girl and came back as if no one was waiting for you here. Like I wasn't sick and worried about you."

"And I am sorry for that but you're totally blowing it out of proportion. It was a fuck." She snaps . "It's not like I took her here and fucked her in your bed!"

"As If I would have let you do that." She scoffs, looking down.

"Whatever, really." She shakes her head. "Can I go to bed now or do you want to grill me over something else? Do you want to know how many times we did it? How did I take her?"

"Don't be crass." She looks away when Quinn walks past her.

"Don't be a brat, then." She says under her breath and Rachel looks at her back as she heads towards Santana's room.

She storms out to her own room, to try and sleep the anger off. When she wakes up, a few hours later, Quinn is gone without having even said goodbye.

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She jumps on the first train to New Haven even if she knows she should have called her first, but she hasn't heard from Quinn for days and she needs to fix whatever is currently broken between them.

The ride is smooth and it takes her a 5 min cab ride to be on campus, heading to the dorms where Quinn is located. The staircase is familiar and the hallways are quiet. She makes it to the door without running into many people, also given the early hours of the morning.

She knocks and waits.

She knocks again, leaning on the pink suitcase by her side.

She knocks a little bit harder and faster, when there's no response on the other side.

She knocks again, defeated, because Quinn is who knows where (and who knows with whom).

"What are you doing here?" The voice startles her. It is hard and direct, just like the Quinn who used to rule McKinley.

"Where were you?" Rachel asks but she should be able to put 2+2 together. Quinn is in a jogging outfit, with wireless earbuds in her ears and a crop top that leaves nothing to her imagination.

"It's pretty obvious, don't you think?" She walks past her to get the door open and to let her in.

"You haven't called me back." She awkwardly stands by the door. "We skipped two weekly calls and you never called me back."

"I've been busy." Quinn gets a change of clothes and her fresh towels.

"Can we talk?" She looks at her back.

"Give me 10 minutes. Make yourself at home, you know your way around here." The blonde disappears in her en-suite bathroom and Rachel does exactly what she is being told to.

She takes her jacket and shoes off. She makes herself a coffee, with Quinn's Nespresso coffee machine and waits, sitting at her desk.

The dorm room is exactly the way she has left it, weeks before. Same tall pile of books, on the left side of the desk and her MacBook and notebook on the other one.

It smells like old spices and Quinn's French perfume and books. Tons of books.

"Shouldn't you be in class today?" Quinn emerges from the bathroom, clad in loose sweatpants and a McKinley Cheerio shirt. The mere act of lifting her hair up in a ponytail brings back so many memories.

Too many.

"I can skip a couple of days." She stands from where she had been sitting, on her bed.

"You're planning to stay for more than one day?" She raised an eyebrow at her.

"Is it a problem? Did you make other plans?" She looks away. "I didn't think I'd bother you. We always said we could visit whenever we felt like and-"

"Nothing that cannot be postponed, no big deal." Quinn shrugs and walks to her desk, to check her phone.

"I should haven't bothered to come, really." She shakes her head and goes for the door.

"Why are you being like this? You drop on my doorstep, totally unannounced, and you expect me to change my plans to fit you in. I tell you it's not a problem and you're already storming out on me?" She raises her voice.

"I can tell when I'm not wanted." She holds her head high.

"And I can tell when you're being overly dramatic and petty, without any good reason for it." She fires back at her.

"I am not being a drama queen, Quinn." She stomps her foot on the floor and it totally backfires.

"Right, you're totally doing the opposite." She mimics her gesture and chuckles.

"Stop it." Rachel takes a step forward, pointing a finger to her.

"Or what?" She does it again. "You'll do a stormout? Go ahead but I won't stop you."

"Why are you being so mean?" She stops a couple of feet away from the blonde. "Where is my Quinn?"

" Your Quinn?" She chuckles bitterly. "Since when have I become your property? Do you want to mark me?"

"God, stop it. Stop it." She reaches for her wrists and grabs onto them, with her hands. She holds her arms down and steps even closer. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't." She looks down at their joined hands.

"Where is my friend? My best friend?" She slips her fingers through Quinn's. "Where is the girl who waited with me outside the doctor's office when I thought I was pregnant?" She looks at her. "Or the girl who lets me pick movies to watch even when it's her turn?"

"Rachel…" Quinn looks away.

"Where is the girl who lets me keep her awake with my rambling about the bitchy dance teacher or when I thought that homeless man followed me home?" She tugs her by the hands. "You stayed on the phone with me for the whole time and made sure I was okay."

"I had Santana ready to come to your rescue." She chuckles. "With those razor blades in her hair."

"What's happening to us?" She looks down at their joint hands.

"One night stands don't mean a thing to me, Rach. You're not going to lose me because I sleep around." She pulls her right hand free from her grip and uses it to tuck some chestnut hair behind her ear.

"But you're going to meet someone one day and they'll love you the way you deserve and you'll do the same and I-"

"You what?" She cups her face, brushing a lone tear away with her thumb.

"This." She rocks on her tiptoes and presses her mouth against Quinn. It is a simple peck, at first. It is just lips touching. It's nothing more than that.

When Quinn stands there, frozen, she realizes the mistake she has made. She realizes she has misread the signs, fucking everything up for good.

"I'm so sorry." She turns to leave. She turns to bolt out of there and never look back. Never come back.

"Since when?" Quinn catches her by the hand before she can get too far, even if the dorm is not really Versaille.

"It was a mistake, Quinn." She tries to escape her grip but the blonde grabs her by the forearms, to face her.

"Answer the question, please." She looks into her eyes and she gives in.

"I think a part of me has always had a crush on you. How could I not? You were pretty and smart and popular." She looks down at their feet. "And then, when you stood by my side after the scare and everything else. I…I don't know when exactly, but I know I was furious that night because I was kinda jealous."

"Jealous?" She furrows her brows.

"We were dancing and having fun and then, that girl hit on you and you went home with her." She sighs. "And I got left behind."

"Goddamn it, Rachel." Quinn drops her grip on her. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I never thought you could reciprocate. Have you looked at yourself?" She wraps her arms around herself.

"What if I do?" She leans on her desk and looks at her.

"Look at yourself?" She asks.

"Like you back." She shakes her head. "What If I told you that I like you the way you like me?"

"You do?" She beams at that revelation.

"We should get our eyesight checked, 'cause we've been totally oblivious to this." Quinn holds her hand out and Rachel just takes it, allowing her to tug her in.

"So, do you like me?" She rests her forearms on her shoulders and leans in.

"Only if you do." Quinn stands to her full height and leans down, to brush a tentative kiss on her lips.

"I do. I totally do." She grins and pulls her down for a full kiss.

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The morning after her first time with Quinn has never felt any better.

The morning after her first time with Quinn, she wakes up nuzzled against her shoulder, tucked in the circle of her arms that have been protectively around her, for the whole night.

"It's too early for you to go." Quinn mumbles against the top of her head and tucks the covers around their nude bodies, keeping the natural heat in.

"I am not going anywhere." She nuzzles the side of her neck and curls her arm around her hip, stroking the small of her back. "Good morning." Rachel tilts her head to drop a soft kiss on her lips. Their first morning kiss.

"Good morning to you." Quinn's forearm closes around her head as she rolls them over and leans down, to kiss her a second time.

"Come here." She parts her thighs to let her slip in between.

Once she is back on top, she locks her thighs around her hips to keep her close and against her.

"So, are you still okay with what we did last night?" She hovers her on her elbows, as their lower bodies rock together. It's natural.

"What do you think?" Her hands trail up her sides and caress the underside of her breasts, before settling on her shoulders.

"I think I don't want you to ever leave my bed." She dips her head down to kiss her languidly and slowly. "I think I can't get enough of your kisses or the way you taste." She licks her bottom lip.

"I can't get enough of the way you feel against me." Her heels rest just under her backside and pull her down, against her. "Why have we waited for so long?"

"No fucking clue." She chuckles against her lips.

"You know I usually don't condone swearing but…" She rolls them over with a swift movement of her hips. "You sound so sexy when you do it."

"Oh really now?" She raises her eyebrow challengingly.

"Stop it." She lies against her, stretching fully.

"Make me." Quinn grins and leans up, to capture her lips for a hard kiss when she rolls them back again, tugging the covers over their heads.

Her laughs quickly turn into moans and soft whimpers, when their kisses become longer and hands roam, exploring places that are becoming more familiar.

She loses herself into Quinn's embrace, sure that the blonde will break her fall.

It's not really a surprise when Rachel misses her train back to New York, that day, and ends up spending the whole weekend locked away in Quinn's dorm room.

It's not really a surprise how morning afters quickly turn into afternoon delights and passionate nights.

All I knew
This morning when I woke
Is I know something now
Know something now I didn't before

The End