You guys are amazing you know that right? So I'm throwing another chappie ahead of schedule ^.^
Bella
When I drove back home from the meadow, I sat in the driveway staring at the two story blue house that I used to call a home. How could I smile and tell my mother that everything was alright? How could I tell her what happened?
I decided to be strong. As I opened the front door I winced as she called my name. At the angle she was in, she couldn't see me yet so I took a moment to compose my self.
Breathe Bella, square your shoulders, and of course…smile.
"Hey mom, what do you need?"
She smiled "Good day?"
"Excellent" I grinned through my lie "Edward took me to dinner"
"Good, pistachios?"
"Behind you on the headboard mom"
"Thanks love…go get a shower"
"Alright I'll take one in a bit."
I didn't take one immediately. I sat in the shower holding a blade…remembering.
Holding Jasper's hand while in the hospital.
One line against my left wrist.
The day he left the hospital, all I wanted was one single kiss.
Two lines.
The first time he called.
Three lines.
The first kiss.
Four lines.
Him kissing my scars and whispering "You wouldn't be who you are today without them"
Five.
The fist time he woke me from a nightmare.
Six.
Our first fight.
Three more lines.
Him proposing to me.
I moved to my right arm… four more cuts.
Falling asleep in his arms.
Two more.
Alice. The meadow.
Nine more. Twenty four total cuts. I focused on the blood dripping from my fingers, relishing in the growing light headedness. The buzz that the blade gives you is far better than any drug I've ever tried. Focusing once again on the blood dripping from my stained fingertips…I imagined every memory of Jasper literally flowing from my arms. One memory for every crimson drop.
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Let it go.
I woke up the next morning lying in the shower in a pool of my own crimson tears. Somehow my arms were bandaged and cleaned, my clothes were changed, and most of the blood had washed into the drain…
I was alive to fight another day…and I didn't want to be.
Baby girl don't you see?
I don't want you here with me.
Please baby live fight another day.
Please baby it's the only way.
Take your time.
Fight a while.
Fighting for me, is only fair
When you realize I have enough room up here to share.
Daddy.