Chapter Thirteen: CRACK Interrogation
Go: *sits at a table beside Haya opposite the German brothers, hands clasped and smiling pleasantly* welcome ^^ we are happy to have you for this interview
Luddy: *nods politely, arms crossed* danke for having us
Gil: Kesese! *props his feet up on the table* You should be thanking US for being here!
Haya: NEVER! You're here for us and our readers! My awesome is more than yours! Bwuhahaha!
Gil: Hey! I only allow you to play me because you're slightly almost awesome enough to be me!
Haya: *gets to her feet* OI!
Gil: *on feet as well*
Luddy: *sighs and pulls Prussia back down by his wrist* don't start anything, Bruder. Especially not this early. I could go without the headache -_-
Go: Haya dear ^^; Let's just calm down and get this done. Think of the readers. And poor Luddy's head
Luddy: *twitch* Luddy?
Haya: *plops back into her chair* FUH-ine.
Gil: *snickers* West that's a lame nickname that got for ya~
Haya: Oi! I like it! Now! What's our first question Go-chan?
Go: *sighs* This is going to take a while… *brightens* Anyway! Our first question is from HeadstrongNozomi *reading from a set of papers and now glances down to them* And it's for Gilbert *looks back up* How surprised would you say you were when you walked in on Franny and Iggy last time?
Gil: *snickers* Not surprised at all. Francis has someone different in his bed every other day. Iggster is a a frequent resident of that bed ;D
Luddy: Do you have to say it that way?
Go: who would Gil be without his crudeness I suppose
Haya: Oh hey speaking of crude ;D We have a whole batch of questions from Gaki-Gaki! This is for both Gilbo and Ludsters. Who would you sleep with, marry and kill out of America, Denmark or Romano?
Gil: PFFT. What the fuck? XD Well I'd kill America, naturally. With him out of the way, I could TOTALLY become a nation again! I'd probably sleep with Lovi cause Spain would flip a shit. That'd leave Denmark to marry... Eh he drinks a lot so I think we'd be chill.
Luddy: *once over his initial response of spluttering* -/- This is that stupid game Italia tells me about that teenage girls play. Didn't think I'd ever have to play… *sighs* Fine, I suppose I have to answer, don't I?
Go: *continues to pleasantly smile, a bit creepily* Yes, it would be very appreciated
Luddy: Kill America. Sleep with Denmark. Marry Romano… Knowing him he'd divorce me right away
Go: xD Good answer! Alright, next, again from Gaki-Gaki and for both of you. What kind of porn is your favorite?
Luddy: What is wrong with this person? D/( Guh *covers blush with hand* I suppose… BDSM…
Gil: *totally straight and serious face* Mine
Haya: ... Meaning?
Gil: Porn of me and my awesomeness DUH!
Haya: ... But Gilbo, she clarified not of, but what kind.
Gil: Oh well in that case Awesome porn. Jeez so specific.
Haya: Well Gaki-Gaki also asks, Would you rather swim in sperm or pee?
Gil: West's sperm all the way!
Luddy: O/o What kind of question-? ACK, urine, it's sterile
Go: I'll just say when we've changed to another reviewer xD Gaki dear has quite a few
Luddy: Wunderbar -_-
Go: Which horse breed is your favorite?
Luddy: Finally, something more normal… I haven't ridden as of late, but when I did I preferred a Holsteiner. They're a strong, intelligent, German breed
Gil: DX You wouldn't want to swim in my sperm West? So mean! *snifflesniffle* Anyways, any awesome horse is good with me. I don't know horse breeds! I just rode what they gave me when we still used horses! Horses like to disobey me -3-
Haya: Heh. More like you can't control them. And another thing you can't do GilGil! Can you bake a PIE? And the answer is NO! HAHA!
Gil: Hey that's my question to answer here, bitch. I could too bake a pie if I tried... And I got West or Francis to help me! Or just make it for me...
Luddy: … That answers it for me just fine
Go: And onto the next one! ^^; So we can get these two separated quicker. Have you ever worn Lederhosen?
Luddy: Ja. One would assume I have worn clothes that my people are known for
Gil: Psh of course I have! What type of stupid question is that?
Haya: Your face is stupid! *coughokayandsexycough* What German beer is your favourite?
Gil: I totally love Berliner Weiße. It's pretty fucking awesome.
Go: *sighs* Oh you two
Luddy: I can definitely feel the beginnings of a headache. Maybe a beer would help… I like strong lagers, Bock especially. It's more nutritious than lighter lagers
Go: Oh, one that's just for our Luddy! ^^ Were you the one that put all that graffiti on the wall?
Luddy: I didn't have time for something like that then, and even if I did I wouldn't have. I admit that some of the artwork was quite good, and some of the statements were what I would have said if I had… Change of topic, bitte
Haya: I can provide that change of topic ;D Who is the best guy you've made out with? And that can't be either of you as the answer.
Gil: Besides West... Well I guess I gotta say Francis. I mean, you would think that the Country of Passion could out make out the County of Love... But Antonio just kept giggling. No idea WHAT at. I mean come on, he was making out with the awesome me! What's there to laugh at?
Go: xD Because Toni dear is weird like that. Luddy?
Luddy: *trying to contain his twitching and furrowed brow in response to Prussia's answer* As I haven't 'made out' with all that many people, I'll have to answer with the only one besides Bruder, and that's Italia
Go: *eyes Prussia* uh-huh… Well on that note, who was your first kiss? Please do give details
Luddy: … *glances away* Considering I did lose a bit of my memories I can't be sure if this is true, for I could have during the forgotten time, but in what I can remember it would have been Bruder… Just being the annoying bruder he is when I was younger *shrugs*
Gil: *taps lips thoughtfully* first kiss... First kiss... First kiss... First kiss... *scratches head* First kiss... What classifies it as first?
Haya: -.- Lips touching for more than three seconds
Gil: Ah! Well then! That one time... *blushes and looks away* looong time ago when Eliza and I thought she was still a boy and were buds. It was a total accident and we laughed it off... But it haunted me once I found out she was a girl and groped her =.=;;;
Haya: *snickers* you were so innocent!
Gil: SHUT UP! NEXT QUESTION!
Haya: *laughs* So the next one is wondering when the last time you guys lied, what it was about, and why you lied.
Gil: Oh well I lied when I told West I got out of bed last chapter cause I was too lazy. Oh and I lied when I said I would brush my teeth. Oh and West, I didn't really take the dogs out on walks like I said I did. Oh and they were on the furniture, but you already knew that~
Luddy: Yes, I did -_- With things like that I am well aware when you lie. As for the last time I did… So my phone may have been working better than I made it out to be when my flight was delayed… I just wanted to read
Go: Liars~ Pants on fires~ ^^ While we're on the wonderful subject of sin how about telling us the meanest thing you've ever done
Luddy: … *slowly looks away* … I'm not proud of things that happened during the Second World War…
Gil: ... Uuuh. I suppose it's kinda mean that I kinda sorta caused every war West was ever in... *shifts awkwardly*
Haya: On a lighter note! What do you usually daydream about?
Gil: WEST! =D Well me and world domination too, but West comes in a close second... Third...
Luddy: I don't daydream
Go: Pft, you daydream about sex with Gil and you know it
Luddy: *glares, blushing furiously* NEXT QUESTION!
Go: ^^ Ja, ja. If you were able to switch lives with someone, who would it be?
Luddy: I don't see how that could happen and why I would want to, Bruder wouldn't be able to care for himself without me, much less care for my dogs…
Gil: I wanna be West for a day so I can have sex with myself!
Haya: *falls over laughing* For some reason, I don't think it's possible for Gilbo to answer the next question... What's the most embarresing thing you've ever done?
Gil: *smiles proudly* I'm never embarrassed by thing I do!
Luddy: I, on the other hand, am thoroughly embarrassed by some of these questions -/-
Go: Course you are~ Big Germany doesn't wanna tell it how it is ^^ *at a German glare just giggles and continues* What is your best pickup line? XD
Luddy: … Was?
Go: Oh your heard me
Luddy: … I don't have any, so of course I wouldn't have a best one
Gil: Sleep with me. Works EVERY time!
Haya: *drools* I'm sure it does *cough* anywhos~ What do you do when no one else is looking?
Gil: ... Um. Everything I normally do? I'm too awesome to keep everything me to myself! I share everything with the world!
Luddy: I work?
Go: ;D Messes with his hair. Always has to be perfect, the weirdo *coughs, receiving another German glare* Would you rather sleep with Russia or Liechtenstein?
Luddy: Neither. Simple as that. The first… And the second, I know very well how good of a shot her brother is
Gil: Oh I was so close to getting the girlie in bed once! But then Vash had to show up and almost shoot me =3= *grins* Heh, but at least he didn't actually hit me like he did to Francis once.
Haya: *snorts* Anyways, last one from Gaki-Gaki! What would you do if Greece confessed his love for you?
Gil: Eh, nothing much. I'm so awesome that people are just falling for me left and right. But I have West so I don't care about them~
Luddy: Call Japan. He's the best for dealing with him in a positive manner
Go: Alright, thank you Gaki-Gaki dear for you questions! ^^ They were interesting and thought provoking. Now we are onto Cupcake of Evil – nice name~ - and the first question is… Ah, to Gil! *grins* How did you take the pictures, you now the ones, for Luddy here? Was there an accomplice? How in the world did you get the handcuffs off?
Gil: *smirks* I took the pictures by myself. Maybe. West probably wouldn't enjoy knowing if I had someone help me... *laughs* And I have a talented mouth you know! Handcuffs are no problem!
Haya: *looks to Luddy with a smile* Well, now for you. Ludwig, what did you do with those pictures?
Luddy: *having been glaring at Gil suspiciously, eyes widen and turns to Haya only to then look away* ... They're stored safely away... *mumbles* Maybe a few close at hand
Go: *grins* Very close at hand~ Anyway ^^ Say you both wanted to have a third when you're playing in bed. Who would it be?
Luddy: WAS!
Gil: Ita-chan! Right West?
Luddy: Was! Nein! Ugh, just go to the next question
Haya: Heh. Gilbert, if you had to choose between Germany and Fritz (the chick) who would you pick? Can you pick one?
Gil: You expect me to pick between West and Fritz? You're mental! I definitely can't pick between them!
Luddy: *rolls eyes despite the faint smile* Ja, he's too awesome, don't you know?
Go: What is the most romantic thing you have done for each other?
Luddy: ... ¬/¬ ... It's a possibility... That I may have written in my own comment when he left one of his journals out... That I agreed with his addition
Gil: Awww really West? *runs off to see*
Haya: Awwww Luddy you're so cute! Hee now, if you had to pick between giving up beer or sexy time with each other, which would you pick?
Gil: o.O that's an evil question
Luddy: I'm not cute -/- ... And I'm not answering that one
Go: 'Cause you love both way too much? xD
Luddy: Next
Go: Which of your pets is your favorite?
Luddy: Showing favoritism is never a good sign of character... Though, I suppose Aster receives a majority of my attention among them, if only because she is as childish as someone I know and gets into trouble -_-
Gil: haha West =P And Fritz is my favorite of course!
Haya: Of course. My duck is sleeping x3 What nations do you get along with?
Gil: Well obviously my friends... Anyone who accepts my awesomeness! But I hate Russia completely!
Luddy: Italia, Japan, England *shrugs* I don't have a problem with that many
Go: w Duck
Luddy: *clears throat*
Go: oh, ja! ^^ Is there anyone you hate or dislike?
Luddy: *immediately* France. America. Russia
Gil: Ha I already answered that xD I can't stand America much either though. He's a brat.
Haya: Oi, he has his good moments! Now! For Gilbo from amanda0293, what's your favorite video game of all time?
Gil: Well I love the pointless bloody shit, but I gotta say. The most amazing game ever is Rise Of Prussia! FUCK YEAH! You have no idea how much fun it is going around beating French ass and winning my lands!
Luddy: You have no idea how loud he can be when he plays that game -_-
Go: Oh, poor Luddy ^^; Well this would only give you more headache. What would do if you wouldn't get punished for it?
Luddy: ... Probably... 'Talk' with a few choice nations
Go: ^^;;; Do these talks include blood? *only response is silence* Thought so...
Haya: Scary Ludsters xD What would you do Gil?
Gil: ... Streak?
Haya: Aaand if you had the chance to be seme in your relationship with West now that you've accepted you're an uke?
Gil: ... Umm... *grins* No actuallyLuddy: *blinks at him in surprise*
Go: *giggles* After all that whining?
Gil: Heee yeah~
Go: *giggles* Alright. So, Luddy, what's your favorite brand of cleaning solution?
Luddy: *turns back, raising a brow* Well... I don't use brands when I don't have to. Chemicals are bad on a dogs nose, and for smaller animals like chicks. The mixture of vinegar and water I use is the one I prefer out of anything. It can be used on so many things, and is cheap
Haya: Pft. Anyways, our next batch of questions come from Rinkuu! If you had the opportunity, who would you cheat with?
Gil: Hmmm... I dunno. I like being with West. I suppose invading Austria's vital regions again wouldn't be so bad *shrugs*
Luddy: I wouldn't take the oppurtunity
Go: -3- No fun. Who would you rather sleep with, Russia or America?
Luddy: There is something seriously wrong with these readers... *sighs* America
Gil: That's an obvious answer!
Haya: Heh. If you could kill one person who would it be?
Gil: Again, OBVIOUS!
Luddy: There are a few...
Go: *looking at papers* Another threesome question, but y'all've answered that... Okay *grins* Would you ever like to have a family one day? Explain your answer
Luddy: I assume you mean adopt?
Go: *grin grows* I never specified
Luddy: That's not physically possible, not to mention we know nations can't reproduce
Go: You say that now. Just answer the question mister!
Luddy: I already have giant children to deal with. But I suppose it wouldn't be... Too bad
Gil: Passing on my awesome genes would be the best gift to the world EVER!
Haya: *giggles* Oh yes. Yes it would. *cough* ANYWAYS. What's your favorite toothpaste flavor?
Gil: Uh. Mint? I don't care about toothpaste... Is there a flavorless kind? That would be awesome.
Luddy: Mint as well. It's the cleanest
Go: ... ;3 Favorite perverted joke?
Luddy: *hand covers his face* Gott... Not joke so much as joke, but saying... 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me'
Go: *falls over laughing*
Gil: Heh. My favorite? Well there's this one about a group of guys. The first one says-
Haya: Okay Gil that's enough. Now, someone has stolen your dogs and replaced them with cats, how do you react?
Gil: ... As long as they don't eat Fritz I'm good. I guess.
Luddy: Find my dogs. I'm not one for cats...
Go: This is for Luddy, if both Gil and Ita-chan were drowning in the middle of the ocean during a storm and you could only save one, who would it be?
Luddy: Bruder I suppose. Italia never really gets hurt -_- The luck of the idiot. His Grandfather would probably show up and save him
Gil: Awww West~
Haya: ... Another for you Luddy, if Gilbo decided to go on a mass murdering spree what would you do?
Gil: o.O WTF?
Luddy: My thoughts exactly... Get him tranquilized, then properly held away so some sense could be talked into him. At least, enough to get him out of it. He doesn't have much when he's being his usual self
Go: Oh we all know xD Okay! Gil! Boxers or briefs?
Gil: Boxers when I'm not going commando ;D
Haya: Hee. Now from Anon, do you guys have any cute nicknames for each other?
Gil: West is West? XD
Luddy: *shrugs* Bruder, that's all I call him
Go: *covers nose to stop a nosebleed* From Sixteen clumsy and shy ^/^ Gil, what's you favorite... Sexual position?
Gil: *grins* Riding a handcuffed West ;D
Haya: Haha! Now, Luddy, besides BDSM, what's your other kink?
Gil: I can answer that! He has an AWESOME kink!
Luddy: Er, ja
Go: Okay, we're to Doughnutwithsprinkles. Luddy, do you like cupcakes? What flavor?
Luddy: ... German chocolate? *shrugs*
Haya: Now from PRUSSIAisAWESOME. She would like to know more about Luddy's first memories of Prussia are like. Unfortunately, disclosing such information would be a spoiler for later chapters. Jeez girl. You're a psychic.
Go: And so are a few others ** Alright! Some questions from us now~ I'd like to know, what is your favorite body part of the other? ;3
Luddy: How did I know yours would be on such a subject as well *sighs, pausing* ... -/- Mouth
Gil: I love West's dick. A lot. His fingers are pretty fucking awesome too.
Luddy: Bitte, are we almost done?
Go: *ignoring pleas* What do you wash first when you take a shower?
Luddy: *faint groan* Hair, I have to be sure to get all of the gel out
Gil: Whatever is dirtiest *shrugs*
Go: Wonder what that is~ *phone goes off in pocket* Text! *produces cell and laughs, showing Haya* Alright, a few from a friend of mine. What would be an ideal place for you two as a honeymoon spot?
Luddy: Uh *looks to Gil* Ich weiß nicht, I don't really care...
Gil: I would love to go to the beach or something! Just no where cold! Well warm and not super sunny. Sun hurts my skin =3=
Luddy: *rolls eyes*
Go: Seems like it would be the same answer, but ideal vacation
Luddy: That would have to be some place quiet. Where I could just sit and read
Gil: Well it'd also have to be awesome enough so I could pull West away from his reading.
Go: I'm sure you could do that anywhere~ Just lose a few articles of clothing in his presence ^^ *just laughs at the millionth glare from Germany* What would be your favorite childhood memory?
Luddy: ... *sighs* Bruder taking me in I guess
Gil: Hmm. Childhood... I suppose the days when Eliza and I were buds. Those days were fun. No paper work, no worries. Just ran around beating the shit out of people~
Haya: Hee. Thrilling. Now, some questions about Fritz from Agneszika! When will Fritz get his awesome ninja suit? I can answer that~ Soon ;D The rest are for Fritz! What is your favorite outfit?
Fritz: Peep peep-eep peep peep! (My biker outfit!)
Haya: And your favorite food?
Fritz: Peep peep pe-peep! (Sunflower seeds!)
Haya: Who do you like more: Armond or Jacques?
Fritz: o/o P-p-p-peep? Peep peep pee-ppeep-peep pe peep! (Wh-wh-what? Why do I have to like one of them more? I l-l-like them the same!)
Haya: *giggles* Thank you Fritz
Go: *turns off the Bird-English translator* ^^ Thank you Fritz... ^/w/^ Gil, are we allowed to hug the cutie before you leave?
Gil: ... *laughs* Just can't resist my peeps can you? Ja, you can hug him.
Haya: Heee~ *nuzzles Fritz*
Go: *squeals and nuzzles as well*
Luddy: And these are the ones that portray us...
Go: Oh don't complain~ Haya is awesome so she's Gil, I take German and love my semes so I'm you
Luddy: Does /everyone/ use those phrases?
Go: Would you prefer we say catcher and pitcher?
Luddy: ... Those work fine -_-
Go: Okay! ^^ That's all of our questions~ Danke!
Gil: Sweet. See you fangirls next chapter!
Haya: Bye Gilbo ^w^ Bye Ludsy
Go: Wir lieben euch~
Haya: Any finally to our wonderful readers and reviewers who asked questions, thank you! Hope these eight pages of pure nonsense were fun! We'll be back to our story of idiotic Germans and Prussian adventures next week… Well next chapter xD Now, if you excuse me… I have a duckling in my lap under my laptop I need to take care of~
End of Chapter Thirteen