Chapter Three
Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.
"What's the point in even having guards to other parts of the planet if they aren't actually going to keep anyone out?" Revan wondered aloud.
Carth snorted. "They probably do but since we're currently dressed like Sith it was enough for them. I mean, Sith uniforms aren't exactly easy to get your hands on."
"Really?" Revan asked skeptically. "Because they were literally just lying around in a room full of already conveniently incapacitated people when we got there."
"Yes, well we're special like that," Carth said lamely. "It doesn't work like that for most people."
"Being a walking deus ex machina does have its advantages, I suppose," Revan said agreeably. "Hey, do you hear blaster fire?"
"Someone might be in trouble!" Carth exclaimed, immediately running towards the sound of the fighting.
"Or it could be gang warfare since apparently the fighting has gotten so bad that the Sith are keeping people out for their protection," Revan suggested, reluctantly following his companion.
"No, I'm certain it's – oh, looks like you're right. It was gang warfare," Carth said as he spotted two groups of three thug-types firing at each other. "It goes against everything I stand for to just stand back and idly watch a fight but…they're both gang members and God help me I don't know enough of the situation down here to be able to tell which is the good guy. Or are they both bad guys?"
"We could just wait to see who wins and then kill them," Revan offered. "And that will probably solve your moral dilemma as the ones who die will have inevitably been the relatively good guys as having a conscience tends to make you incapable of aiming properly. Good guys train for YEARS to overcome that particular handicap."
"Really?" Carth asked, intrigued. "But you're probably the best shot I've ever seen."
Revan raised an eyebrow pointedly at him.
"Oh, right," Carth realized, feeling a little foolish.
"That's why Jedi stick to lightsabers," Revan confided. "It's harder to miss with those."
Just then, the last of one of the groups of thugs fell with a, "I just wanted to help people!" which seemed to indicate he was one of the good guys.
"For the Republic!" Carth cried, opening fire one of the surviving gang members.
By the time he had finished, Revan had disposed of the other two. "At least this time there really aren't any potential witnesses," he sighed. "Remind me to never, ever, under any circumstances ever allow you to do stealth work or espionage."
Carth didn't get it. "Huh? Why not?"
Revan merely shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Let's keep moving."
"After we loot the corpses, right?" Carth asked unnecessarily.
"Naturally," Revan nodded.
Once that was done, they decided to investigate the door right in front of them.
"It's no use, I can't open it," Carth declared.
"Let me try," Revan said. He approached the door and attempted to break in. After a few anxious moments, he shook his head. "It's no use, I can't open it."
"That's what I just said," Carth felt obliged to point out. "Word for word, in face."
"Well, yeah," Revan nodded. "But you just tried to open it. I was attempting to hack it. Now, I'm good but I'm not nearly experienced enough to be a master and the person who designed this door clearly is, so I can't get in. Of course, if I had a lightsaber, then that would be a different story. I've heard all you have to do is stab a lock with a lightsaber and it opens, no matter how ingenious it is."
"That's the second time you've mentioned lightsabers in five minutes," Carth noted. "Is that a fetish of yours or something?"
Revan shrugged. "That is entirely possible. And double-bladed ones are the best, obviously. And it would have to be violet. How badass would I be with a violet double-bladed lightsaber?"
"I thought double-bladed lightsabers were more the Siths' thing than the Jedi's?" Carth asked uncertainly.
"I'm sure I don't know," Revan replied. "But if the Sith and the Jedi were both trying to recruit me and the Jedi told me I had to stick with a single-bladed lightsaber, I would totally join the Sith."
Carth looked horrified, but not really surprised. "I'm sure lightsaber style isn't a deal-breaker."
"Well, it's not like such hypothetical questions will ever in any way ever affect our lives in the slightest," Revan said cheerfully. "Now what do you say we raid all the lower-city apartments?"
"As long as we get to help anybody who needs it," Carth compromised.
Revan rolled his eyes. "Fine…"
"And we should probably take these outfits off," Carth added hopefully. "I mean, we don't really need them and they may cause problems for us."
"You're so demanding," Revan complained as he obligingly pulled off his amazing uniform. "It's always 'Revan, don't kill that guy' or 'Revan stop talking about joining the Sith' or 'Revan these people need those credits more than you' or 'Revan, don't you have any respect for the dead'."
"Well maybe if you possessed an ounce of common decency I wouldn't have to!" Carth shot back, but it was his turn to be ignored.
Upon 'exploring' several of the apartments, Revan and Carth came face to face with a very odd security measure.
"We're supposed to list, in order, when each of the band members joined?" Carth asked, confused. "If they are really a moderately successful band then isn't there a risk of people actually knowing the answer to this? It's a clever enough idea but the question needs work, right Revan?"
"For once, I'm in complete agreement with you, Carth," Revan responded, sounding mildly shocked. "It just so happens that I love the Twisted Rancor Trio. It all started when this guy named Glithos Uksaris wanted to date this singer named Elinda so he decided to form a band. Ujaa joined next, followed by his brother Ujii. Tragically, Ujaa apparently sucked so he got replaced by this guy named Loopa and family loyalty dictated that Ujii also leave the band so Fodo entered the scene. Davik Kang wanted to hear them play after they got a record deal but Elinda said playing for the exchange offended her 'principles' or whatever and so her sister Ashana replaced her. It's all very dramatic."
"I am mildly disturbed that you know that and definitely confused about HOW you do considering it appears it's a Taris-based band and you've only been conscious for a few hours now, but it would appear that you are right," Carth said as he entered the combination Revan's mini-history supplied and the protection around the footlocker died down.
"You just don't appreciate true art," Revan sniffed, popping open the now-unlocked footlocker and pocketing everything that was inside.
"If that's art, I don't want to," Carth countered.
"But you haven't even heard any of their music!" Revan protested.
"Considering that it was started to impress a girl, I don't feel I have to," Carth insisted.
Revan eyed him sadly. "Your loss. I wonder if I'll get to meet the band when I'm killing Davik…"
"Wait, wait, wait…you're going to try to kill Davik?" Carth repeated. "Why?!?!"
"It's not like I want to, per se," Revan explained. "But that droid shop owner said it was the only way to get T3-M4."
"I'm not getting off this planet alive, am I?" Carth groaned.
"Stop complaining; there's breaking-and-entering to be done," Revan ordered. As they stepped back into the hall, they witnessed a confrontation between two Rodian and a strange-looking short human with goggles.
"What do you want?" one of the Rodian asked rudely.
"There's a bounty on your head and I'm here to collect," goggle-head announced. He took out two blasters and pointed them at his targets.
"You think it will be so-" the other Rodian began before a shot from each blaster killed him and his cohort.
"Call me crazy, but I think it will be," goggle-head said, putting his blasters back in his jacket and turning to go. Upon spotting his observers, he asked, "What are you looking at?"
"We were just about to head down this hallway when we saw you in the middle of something and thought it would be rude to interrupt," Revan explained.
"Hn. My name's Calo Nord and I'm warning you right now not to get in my way," Calo threatened as he brushed past t hem.
"I'm definitely getting some bad vibes from that guy," Carth said, shivering.
"Well, that's to be expected," Revan told him. "If his ability to kill two people at once is any indication, he has no soul."
After quickly checking over the unfortunate Rodians for anything even remotely valuable, the pair of fugitives made their way to the next apartment.
"You had better stay out of here or I'm going to kill you," a green Twi'lek warned them, holding up a vibroblade menacingly.
"Why?" Revan asked innocently. "I'm new here and just trying to get to know my neighbors."
"I don't care," the Twi'lek growled. "Get out."
"Well, you heard the man," Carth said, turning to leave but Revan put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Not so fast, there's something more going on here, I can tell," Revan said. He looked straight at the Twi'lek and said, "Tell me what your problem is."
"My name is Matrik and I used to be a member of the Exchange but my poor conscience just couldn't take it so I turned state's evidence. It took Davik many months and thousands of credits before he was back on his feet and I was put in the witness protection program. The Stih closed the program last week when they took over and I've been hiding here ever since," Matrik answered promptly.
"Sucks to be you," Revan said bluntly.
"That's horrible!" Carth gasped. "Is there anything you can do?"
Matrik smiled ruefully. "Not unless you happen to know where I could get my hands on a permacrete detonator without having to leave the apartment."
"We'll find it for you," Carth swore. "We'll find it if it's the last thing we-"
"Oh not another pointless interlude!" Revan objected. Reaching into his pack, he pulled out a device and shoved it at Matrik. "Here's your detonator. Can we go now?"
"Why do you have a permacrete detonator on you?" Carth asked warily. "Those things are supposed to be kind of hard to obtain given that only experts can safely use them."
"I found it on a corpse," Revan replied succinctly. "Probably. I don't really remember."
"Thank you both so much," Matrik said sincerely as he set the detonator in his apartment and ran out into the hall. "You've saved my life."
"People are really going to believe that just because there was a huge explosion in your apartment you're dead?" Revan asked skeptically. "There are easier ways to commit suicide, you know."
"You could always say that you did it and collect my bounty," Matrik offered.
"Done and done," Revan agreed, all smiles.
"I better get out of here before someone comes to investigate the explosion," Matrik told them. "Thanks again."
No sooner had Matrik disappeared out of sight than what must have been every thug in the apartment complex decided to see what was going on and, for some reason, attack them. In the fight that followed, Carth killed three gang members while Revan killed sixteen.
"Okay, seriously, this is getting embarrassing," Carth said. "What is it about morality that makes you fail at aiming?"
"Who knows?" Revan shrugged. "All I know is that if you have strong morals you suck at aiming, although the reverse is not necessarily true. Correlation does not have to mean causation, you know."
The next apartment they tried had blaster fire emitting from it the second the door was opened.
"Hey, what gives?" Revan demanded, pulling out a vibroblade and deflecting the hits with ease.
"You're here to kill me, aren't you?" the woman firing at him accused.
"Well, I wasn't planning on it, but the more I think about it that's actually starting to sound like an excellent idea," Revan ground out.
"Why would we want to kill you?" Carth chose that moment to speak up.
"There was an explosion not ten minutes ago in one of the other apartments and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that was you," the woman said flatly.
"Guilty," Revan acknowledged, not sounding like he actually was in the slightest.
"And also because the Republic put a bounty on my head after I wiped out the Ulgo family," the apparent assassin informed them.
"Trask's family is dead?" Revan asked, surprised. "Guess that means I don't have to worry about finding his possible non-existent wife. I mean, it's not like I was overly concerned about that in the first place, but still. It's nice to know I don't have to."
"You're a monster!" Carth cried, outraged.
"Oh, come off it. You couldn't stand Trask either," Revan defended.
But for once, he wasn't talking about Revan. "You would kill an entire family just for money? Die!"
Revan joined in the fun and shortly thereafter the assassin lay dead at their feet.
"If the Republic put the bounty on what's-her-name, would it still be valid now that the Sith are in control?" Revan wondered.
"We'll soon find out, I suppose," Carth answered. "Now that we've officially broken into all of the apartments and killed at least half of the occupants, can we go check out the Cantina? We might hear something there."
Revan shrugged. "Why not? I could use a drink and I haven't made a professional Pazaak player cry in almost two hours."
- -
"Three," Calo Nod was saying when they walked into the Lower City's Cantina. He threw a flash grenade to the ground and by the time anyone could see again the thugs that were bothering him were lying dead on the floor.
"Maybe that's why he wears the goggles," Carth theorized.
"You two again?" Calo asked, eyeing them suspiciously. "I thought I told you to stay out of my way."
"We are," Revan assured him. "We just happened to run into you twice in thirty minutes."
"I'll be watching you," Calo warned before exiting the Cantina.
"Paranoid guy," Carth remarked. Before Revan could comment on the irony of him calling anyone paranoid when he seemed convinced that Revan was one decent offer away from joining the Sith – which wasn't actually all that far off – the pilot continued with, "Smart guy. I like him. Even if he is evil."
"Let's see if there's anything interesting happening in the Cantina before I decimate the Pazaak players," Revan suggested. He entered the next room over and immediately bumped into a man. "Oh, sorry."
"Don't worry about it," the man told him. "I'm in a good mood and you look dangerous so I'm not going to put a bounty on you. My name's Holdan, by the way."
"I'm Revan," Revan introduced. "Do you-"
"Wait, you're that bastard who put a bounty on Dia, aren't you?" Carth accused angrily.
"It's possible," Holdan admitted. "I put bounties on lots of people. Which one was Dia, again?"
"How can you not remember a girl you put a bounty on?!?!" Carth couldn't believe it.
Revan, who had once found himself in the same situation, quickly described her. "She's a Cantina waitress who you tried to molest so she kicked your ass."
"Ah," Holdan winced. "Dia. Gorgeous girl, but man she's got a temper on her."
"You can't have someone killed because they defended themselves from you!" Carth burst out.
"Why not?" Holdan asked.
"Because it's not right!" Carth told him.
"I don't actually care," Holdan replied apathetically. "But tell you what, you feel that strongly about it you give me five hundred credits and I'll call it off."
Carth looked beseechingly at Revan.
"No, not going to happen," Revan insisted, shaking his head.
"What's the point in having all this ill-gotten wealth if we can't use it to help others?" Carth asked rhetorically.
Revan answered anyway. "Well, we could spend it on ourselves, for one. Or we could just horde it. I really like that plan actually."
"But I promised Dia and if we don't do it, she'll die!" Carth reminded him.
"The things I do for you people…" Revan muttered. Looking straight at Holdan, he said, "Drop the bounty for free."
"Alright," Holdan agreed easily. He quickly made his way over to a Hutt they could only assume was in charge of bounties on Taris.
"No matter how many times I see it, that's still really impressive," Carth complimented.
"Thanks," Revan replied, trying not to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Carth inquired.
"He got his ass kicked by a waitress," Revan answered, quickly losing his battle with laughter.
"I take it that's never happened to you?" Carth asked.
Revan stopped laughing. "Once," he confessed. "But to be fair, it WAS on Nar Shaddaa."
"I see," Carth said, as if that explained everything. And it did, really. Nar Shaddaa was one of the toughest and least regulated planets in the Republic. "It looks like Holdan's done talking to the Hutt."
Revan and Carth approached the Hutt slowly.
"Are you the one to talk to about bounties?" Revan asked.
"Yes, I am Zax," Zax introduced. "Are you interested in collecting or would you like to put out a hit on someone?"
"Is the bounty on Dia still open?" Carth asked.
"No, that man just cancelled it," Zax replied. "Any other questions?"
"Is there a bounty on some girl who killed the Ulgo family?" Revan inquired.
"You mean Selven? Yes, there is. I wouldn't recommend going after her alone, though. She is a professional," Zax cautioned.
"I already killed her," Revan informed him. "I also blew up some guy named Matrik and killed Bendak Starkiller in a duel. Do I either of them have bounties?"
"Yes, all three of them have bounties worth three hundred credits," Zax responded.
Revan made a face as he looked straight at the Hutt. "I'd rather have four hundred a person."
"Four hundred it is," Zax agreed. "And may I congratulate you on your powers of persuasion? It is not easy to get a Hutt to part with his credits. Here are twelve hundred credits."
"A pleasure doing business with you," Revan nodded politely before waking away.
"Okay, seriously. How do you do that?" Carth demanded.
"Don't know, don't care," Revan said breezily. "Maybe it's the Force."
"Little girl should not be in Cantina all by herself," a rather unctuous rodian to their left said.
"Your concern is touching," the blue Twi'lek kid he was talking.
"You never know when something might…happen," another equally slimy rodian leered at her.
The Twi'lek sighed. "You know, it's perverts like you that make Big Z think I can't go anywhere by myself."
"It really is for your own good, Mission," a large Wookie – presumably this 'Big Z' character – said sternly.
"We don't want any trouble with a Wookie," one of the rodians decided and both of them quickly made their escape – or tried to.
The rodians had the fatal misfortune of running past Revan, who calmly stabbed them both with his vibroblade. "No one likes a pedophile," he lectured.
"You didn't have to do that," Mission told them. "They wouldn't bother me again if Big Z was here and he always is."
"Not everyone has a bodyguard," Revan pointed out.
"True," Mission agreed. "I'm Mission Vao and this here in Zaalbar, but he'll answer to Big Z. I know pretty much anything you need to know about Taris so if you have any questions, be sure to let me know."
"It's nice to meet you," Revan said graciously. "I'm Revan and this is Carth. Do you have any idea where we could get information on possibly captured fugitives? I'd rather not go into specifics, you understand."
"Oh, absolutely," Mission nodded. "I'd recommend checking with Gadon. He's the leader of the Hidden Beks, which is the relatively nice gang around here. Their headquarters is just down the hallway. Watch out for the Black Vulkers, though. They're ruthless, even by swoop gang standards."
"Thanks for the warning," Revan said. "Now, if you'll excuse us…"
"Now what?" Carth asked. "Are we going to go see this Gadon character?"
"All in good time," Revan promised. He walked over to the Pazaak players. "First I've got to make some grown men cry…"
- -
"Give me one good reason why I should let you in to see my leader without an appointment?" the guard at the Hidden Bek base said irritably, crossing her arms.
"I'm a good guy," Carth promised. "Which means even if I were to feel that the moral thing to do would be assassinating Gadon, I'd probably miss."
"I don't really have any morals," Revan admitted. "But I'm not suicidal either and killing Gadon in the middle of your base surrounded by all of his men would almost certainly guarantee I would not make it out again."
"That is sound reasoning," the guard decided. "Alright, feel free to go in."
"You'd think she'd at least have disarmed us first," Carth commented as he and Revan walked straight through the front door.
"Don't give them ideas," Revan hissed. "There is no guarantee this won't somehow end badly."
They went straight up to the man sitting at a desk in the back of the room who looked to be in charge.
"Hold on, how did you get in here? What do you want? Are you a spy? Why am I even asking that if any spy that could possibly pose a threat would deny it?" a Twi'lek standing defensively at the man's – Gadon? – side fired off the questions in rapid succession.
"We're looking for any information you have on Republic fugitives or a girl named Bastila," Carth said seriously.
"Fine, ignore me," the Twi'lek muttered bitterly. "See if I care."
"It's fine, Zaerdra," Gadon assured her. "As it happens, I do know of this 'Bastila' that you seek. She was captured by our arch-rivals, the Black Vulkers, and she's being offered up as their share of the prize in tomorrow's Swoop Race."
"Is that a good thing?" Carth asked dubiously.
"Possibly," Gadon replied. "Unfortunately, our illegal accelerator was stolen last week by the Vulkers and we can't hope to beat them without it."
"That's too b-" Revan started to say.
"BUT if you get it back for us I'll agree to let you race for us and you can have your Republic Officer back," Gadon offered brightly.
"What? Why would we have to race if we already have to slaughter our way through a rival base?" Revan demanded.
"Because I said so and you can't even get to Bastila without my help," Gadon said stubbornly.
"And people wonder why I don't 'put myself out there' more," Revan murmured. "So how do we get into the base?"
"You need to go to the Under City. Of course, you can't get there without some security papers and these are very valuable documents that I just can't be bothered to give away," Gadon said seriously.
"You…you won't give us the security clearance we need to accomplish the task you just set for us?" Revan asked in disbelief. "You're some kind of asshole, you know that?"
Gadon shrugged. "I'm a gang leader, it comes with the territory. What do you have to barter?"
"I shouldn't HAVE to b-" But again, Revan was interrupted.
"Would you like some Sith uniforms?" Carth asked, trying not to sound too eager to get rid of them.
"You've got yourself a deal," Gadon said, reaching out to shake Carth's hand. He handed Carth the security clearance and Revan grudgingly parted with his beloved shiny uniform.
"Why can't we just kill the Sith on duty?" he complained but Zaerdra ignored him as she literally pulled the uniforms out of his arms.
"Well, that was productive," Carth beamed as they left the Hidden Bek Base.
"Carth, it would be remiss if I didn't warn you now that first chance I get, I am SO betraying these people," Revan vowed. "Those uniforms had class."
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