Gossip
Many of the crew members of the Normandy had returned from shore leave over the last couple of hours.
Everyone was busy settling in, and catching up, as the gossip around the ship soon began to spread.
It was Garrus and Tali who sat in the mess hall who first noticed.
"Did you see what Shepard did to Joker?" Garrus asked Tali who was sat on the opposite side of the table.
Her mask suddenly lighting up in response to Garrus,
"Well I heard Joker asked if her chest plate was real." Tali beeped.
Garrus's mandibles twitched at the remark.
"Her chest plate? Well of course it's real!" He enquired looking very confused.
"Humans are so strange." Tali added looking towards Lieutenant Alenko who was busy working at his station.
Sensing pairs of eyes upon him, Kaidan looked up and over towards the table where Tali and Garrus were sat. His brow furrowing as he moved towards them to find out what they were discussing.
Garrus chimed in as he saw Kaidan coming towards them.
"Ah Lieutenant Alenko, I'm wondering if you can tell us why the Commander got so angry over a chest plate?"
Kaidan looked at both the aliens with an odd look on his face as he approached the table where they sat. Looking down at them both he leaned on the table, placing his hands on the edge of the table to balance himself, before asking,
"What are you talking about Garrus?"
"The fight between Shepard and Joker?" Garrus explained.
"What fight?" Kaidan faced mirrored the shock coming through in his voice perfectly, as he enquired further at what he may have missed since his return to the Normandy.
"What happened? Is Shepard alright?" Kaidan continued worriedly.
"Lieutenant, do you really think Joker could hurt the Commander?" Tali interrupted with a hint of laughter coming through in her masked voice.
Taking a deep sigh of relief, he smiled to himself at the thought of what Shepard did to Joker.
"So what happened?" He asked more cheerfully.
"Well apparently Joker asked if Shepard's chest plate was real." Garrus answered.
Kaidan suddenly burst out laughing at the alien's misunderstanding.
Garrus and Tali looked at each other with more confusion coming over their faces.
As Kaidan stifled his laughter, he began to explain what really happened.
"I think you misunderstand what Joker actually said to Shepard. He wasn't asking about her chest plate of her armour, he was asking about her actual chest! In particular, asking if her breasts were real, I suspect, being Joker and all."
"And why did he get hit for that?" Garrus wondered out loud.
At that Kaidan began to chuckle, whilst rubbing the back of his head.
Before Kaidan could begin to explain, Garrus continued.
"It's a valid question." Looking to Tali for a confirmative nod.
"I'm curious to know myself now." Garrus said turning back to Kaidan.
"Why don't you go ask her Garrus? In fact any female members of the crew might be happy to answer your question Garrus." Kaidan joked once again trying to stifle his laughter.
Tali beeped in through her masked,
"I think the lieutenant is trying to get you into trouble. If Joker got punched for it, she'd probably do the same to you too Garrus."
"I think you are right Tali, I must learn more of this behaviour and actions of humans towards one another." Garrus replied as he quickly got up from the table, heading towards the elevator to the lower deck, almost bumping into the Shepard as she came down the stairs.
Shepard politely greeted him, but Garrus's eyes were firmly fixed on her chest, so much so he didn't even realise she spoke to him.
Bing.
The elevator sounded as the shutter door opened up, pulling Garrus out of his daze. He immediately realised his surroundings, before nodding to Shepard and quickly jumping inside the elevator.
As the doors closed, she shook off the oddness of her encounter with the alien, before proceeding towards her quarters.
Kaidan and Tali were still sat at the table in the mess hall, both their glances going straight to their Commander, who was walking towards her quarters.
Kaidan was quick to react, as he jumped up from his seat, hurrying over to his Commander who was quickly passing them by.
"Commander" He called out to her.
She stopped suddenly in her tracks and turned around slowly to meet her lieutenant who had now caught up to her.
"Ah Alenko, something I can do you?" She smiled politely, just wanting to get inside her quarters and avoid any questions about the gossip going on around the ship.
"I was wondering if I could have a private word with you for a moment?" He said whilst scratching the back of his head, feeling quite uneasy around the Commander after hearing the gossip around the ship about her actions towards Joker.
"Very well lieutenant." She motioned him towards her quarters, as she followed Kaidan through the door.
The door barely even shut before she turned to face Kaidan and ask him,
"Now Alenko, what is it?"
"Well there is a lower deck rumour going around about you and Joker. I was just wondering..."
He trailed off, feeling very awkward even mentioning it, but felt it was necessary.
Shepard sensing his hesitation, asked,
"What are these rumours lieutenant?"
He began scratching the back of his head, whilst shuffling his feet on the spot.
As he stared at the floor, he began.
"Well umm- apparently you hit Joker for asking if your breasts were umm...you know...real" The last part of the sentence an almost whisper as his cheeks became a rosy shade of pink.
Before he could continue, the intercom interrupted, and a strong familiar voice came through filling the room, leaving the Lieutenant silent as he could only listen as the voice had his Commander's undivided attention.
"Haha that's genius, now Commander, don't you want to tell him how it really went down?" Joker laughed over the intercom.
"JOKER!" Shepard yelled.
"YOU WERE LISTENING?" She yelled further at the nearby speaker where his voice was coming from.
"Umm- no Ma'am... Well kind of." Although Shepard could not see him, she knew Joker would be smiling to himself.
He continued. "Anyway Commander there is something, you might want to get down to the lower deck ASAP, Garrus is down there trying to urrr- feel up Liara!" He began to snigger.
The commander looked over at the lieutenant in front of her, who had suddenly gone bright red, he tried desperately not to make any eye contact with her as she folded her arms in front of her chest, putting most of her weight to one leg, as she leant towards that side, glaring at the man before her.
"Something you want to share with me Lieutenant?"
"Umm- no Ma'am"
"Come on Alenko, spit it out, I know your hiding something."
"Hmm, well... I may have mentioned to Garrus, as a joke, he should ask other female members of crew about the rumour, didn't think he would actually do it though." He continued to stare at the floor.
"Back to your station now Alenko, I'll deal with you later." As Kaidan began walking towards the door, he heard the Commander almost giggle as she spoke back over the intercom,
"You too Joker."
Haha, that ought to show Kaidan.
Joker thought to himself as he sat back in his chair, crossing his fingers in front of him and pushing them out and away from him, clicking all his fingers whilst doing so.
He was quite pleased with himself that he had successfully defused another one of Kaidan's attempts to talk to the Commander alone in her quarters. He got incredibly jealous when Kaidan had basically cornered her as she was about to go into her quarters, trying to take full advantage of her open door policy.
Thank fuck for the intercom and surveillance cameras all over my baby.
He thought, if Kaidan had tried making any moves on Shepard, there would have been no chance he would have raced to her quarters in time, but the next best thing:
'Surveillance cameras and the intercom' He said out loud, with a smirk across his face as the fun he had just got up to previously, came flooding into his mind again.
He could interrupt anyone on the ship whenever he felt like it, all at the push of button.
He revelled in having such power.
As he let out a sigh, he flicked on a nearby monitor in front of him, a video link popped up to show the surveillance footage of various areas of the ship. His eyes went straight to Shepard, who was now charging out of her quarters towards the elevator.
She did not look pleased.
He watched her on the Normandy's cameras as she got into the elevator, when she was all alone, heading to the lower deck, he spoke over the intercom.
"So Shepard, am I really in trouble?" He asked gingerly.
She smiled up to the camera, before teasing the pilot.
"Oh, like you wouldn't believe."
The elevator soon came to a stop, and the shutter doors opened up to the lower level deck, to find Liara backing away slowly from Garrus, as his hands, almost like pincers, were close to touching Liara's chest.
Shepard quickly rushed over, pulling Garrus back by his shoulder.
"Garrus NO! Whatever Lieutenant Alenko has said to you ignore it, he was just joking with you. Now I suggest you leave Liara and the female members of crew alone until you can behave properly around them. Is that understood?" Shepard said to Garrus as if he was a child with a puzzled look on his face.
Garrus simply nodded in acknowledgement, but still held the confused look as to why he was being told off. He walked off back towards his station by the mako, thinking about what had just happened, muttering to himself as he goes.
"You never get this with turians, always know what is was, humans are just strange."
"Oh by the Goddess, thank you Shepard. I just don't know what has gotten into Garrus today." Liara cried with happiness hugging Shepard.
She pulled away, before telling Liara,
"I suggest you to speak to Alenko about that one." She snorted, escorting the asari to the elevator with her.
"I think you should stay away from the lower deck for now as well." Shepard continued, as they rode up in the elevator together.
I had a bit a fun with this chapter, hope you enjoyed it, and don't think the character of Garrus is too out of context, it's just a bit of fun.
As always I appreciated reviews/feedback very much.
:)