The darkness that surrounded Hermione faded quickly, and all the pain that had been in her body seemed to evaporate into the soft, warm air around her. She was comfortable, for the moment, floating in a very peaceful state. She didn't want to move, not in the slightest. She was just so comfortable lying on whatever it was she was lying on.
Hermione realized that this was the first time in the last six months that she had felt anywhere near as peaceful as this. Even when she had slept, she felt misery seeping through every fiber in her body. Reflecting on this, she realized part of her peacefulness was due mainly in fact that they didn't matter anymore. Ron didn't matter, Harry didn't matter, her parents didn't matter, and nothing mattered. Ron had already long since moved on from her, Harry would be okay, he still had Ginny to keep him sane, and that gave her peace knowing he would be the one to find her. Although it would be traumatizing for him, he would be okay. Hermione's parents were still in Australia, oblivious to the fact that she had ever even existed. She felt a slight pang as she remembered this, but she knew they were happy, and could have another child if they so choose.
Finally, Hermione decided she should open her eyes and see where she was. The light dazzled her eyes for a moment, before focusing on the beauty of the place around her. It was the most beautiful meadow she had ever seen. Tall trees were all around her, ringing the meadow in the distance, with a path leading off over a hill to some unknown place. Wildflowers danced around her in the warm sunlight, nodding their brilliantly colored heads in the soft summer breezes. This is the place in her fantasy that had always brought her peace.
Hermione pulled herself into a sitting position and took in all the surroundings. She felt so at peace that even being completely alone here didn't bother her. She guessed it had something to do with the fact that she had wanted to be alone and pain free for the last six months. Rising to her feet, she chose to take the path leading over the hill to her left. It wandered a bit, fabricating what she would have left out of her fantasies. There was a foot bridge over the stream, birds flying overhead, crying out to their nest mates, and small animals skittering through the underbrush as she reached the trees that had ringed the meadow.
She wasn't sure where she was going, just following the path where it led her, wherever that might be. Hermione had been walking a long time, but didn't feel tired or thirsty, just the strange peacefulness that had lulled over her when she had first arrived here. The trees grew no thicker, and she just kept walking, wondering in a vague way where she was going.
Unfortunately, there were more important things going on in her mind than where she was going. As soon as she reached the trees, she seemed to hear familiar voices echoing around her. Her mother's voice, telling her a bedtime story, Ron's voice when he was overly excited, Fred and George's twin speak that had always found a way to amuse her, and Harry's sound of utter despair, which she knew he had made after he'd found her, which she hadn't even heard. She considered, still at peace, the effect that her dying was going to have on everyone else. She felt a little guilty, knowing that people's lives were going to be changed because of her desperate actions.
As soon as these thoughts rain through Hermione's mind, she crashed into a golden gate in front of her. A sign on the gate, gracefully lettered, read "Please wait for your spirit guide". Hermione pondered this as she sat down on the ground and waited patiently for whoever or whatever her spirit guide was. She briefly considered that they might let her take back her mistake of taking her own life, but she wasn't to entirely sure that could happen. The skies overhead had become slightly overcast now, and she realized the sky above her must reflect her emotions, the clouds above representing each little doubt in her mind as she considered her actions.
The cracking of a twig somewhere to here right put her on high alert, where she'd been mostly since she'd come back from the war. A familiar pattern of footsteps was headed in her direction, and intuitively, she knew it was someone she was very familiar with, but she couldn't quite place who the footsteps belonged to. She sighed and rose from the ground, not wanting whoever it was to see her sitting on the ground.
She then clearly saw the person coming through the trees, towards her. He had flaming red hair, a crooked smile, and an aura that gave off the most amazing sense of fun and mischief. He obviously hadn't been told who he was guiding because the smile fell from his face as soon as he recognized Hermione.
Of all people to be her spirit guide, she absolutely had not expected it to be Fred Weasley. She stared, dumbstruck as he lengthened his stride and hurried towards her.
"Hermione? What on earth happened to you? I didn't expect to see you hear for ages!" He sounded worried, and in her mind she knew he was worrying about Harry and Ron and the rest of his family that absolutely adored her.
Hermione kept her eyes downcast because she didn't want to answer him. She didn't want to be the one to tell him that Ron had absolutely destroyed her and that she couldn't deal with the pain. She fidgeted, and she felt his eyes on her, obviously curious and a little bit afraid.
"By not speaking are you trying to tell me you don't know, or that you'd rather not say?" He questioned, wondering if that was the case.
"Truthfully, I'd rather not say…but I definitely know.." Hermione's eyes darkened, but at least she had admitted part of the problem. She sighed, not sure where to go with this conversation. She knew, again intuitively, that he couldn't help unless she told him everything. But it was Fred. She had never really told him anything before, let alone this. She felt him move closer, and a hand rested on her shoulder.
"Hermione, I kind of already have some idea of what happened, if you had been killed by rogue death eaters, you'd have admitted that straight away. If it had been something where you didn't know, you would have been confused. And you look incredibly guilty, which is why it's now raining, in case you didn't figure that you. Adding these parts up, that leaves one solution: suicide." His voice was calm, and it calmed her down a bit, "Now, I know what you did, but I can't help you through the gate unless we talk and you tell me why you did it."
She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, while Fred just sat down on the ground in front of her, waiting patiently for her to talk. Copying his movement, she sat down in the brush facing him, not sure where to begin. She sighed; she had some questions for him before she would tell him anything.
"What's through that gate?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Fred watched her carefully for a moment, wondering whether to answer or to push her further. He considered his options, and chose to answer the question.
"Through the gate is what most people would call 'heaven'. However, in your case, you have the option not to go through. Right now, you're in a comatose state, and that's why I'm here. I'm going to help you make the decision to go back or to go through the gate." His voice was casual, but Hermione could hear a lot of careful thought put into the words. She knew he couldn't be harsh with her, or she'd just go back the way she came, "So, are you going to tell me why you did it?"
Hermione carefully considered his words, and slowly nodded, deciding that she knew he would help her make the decision.
"Well, after the war, things started to settle down again. There are still pockets of rogue death eaters roaming around, so I never went and got my parents, thank God. I moved into a flat in London, by myself. I became the head of Muggle Liaisons…"—Fred interrupted with a low whistle—"And Ron and I began officially dating." She Hermione saw Fred blanch in front of her. She turned curious eyes on him, and watched as he realized he had no choice but to explain himself.
"Before I was killed, Hermione…I always sort of had a thing for you. You weren't like other girls, and I always sort of hoped. I was going to ask you on a date but, well, a wall kind of got in the way." Fred explained, blushing. Hermione felt herself blushing, as well, but knew she had to continue.
"Ron was playing keeper…"—another whistle from Fred, which Hermione ignored—"for England. Things were going well for awhile, I was really falling for him, when I became friends with a bloke from work. One night, Matt and I had sat on the couch in my flat making fun of one of Lockhart's old books, and we fell asleep, and Ron flew into the worst rage I had ever seen him in." Hermione had to pause here, tears overtook her and the rain that was falling around them increased.
Fred was boiling with anger at this point. He didn't want to know what was coming next, but he knew he had to listen. Fred couldn't believe that Ron had hurt her this way. He wished that he had said something to her sooner. He scooted closer to Hermione and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She was experiencing the full weight of her actions now, and he knew that she was going to go back to reality because she felt the guilt.
Hermione stopped crying, and knew without a doubt that she had to continue. She took a deep breath, and leaned against Fred's chest.
"What happened then, Hermione?" He pulled her closer, wishing he could hit a reset button and make her better before she went back.
"He stormed out of the flat yelling about how 'I'm not who he thought I was' and 'we're through'. I lost it, Fred. I spent days crying, and once the crying stopped, I just felt dead inside. I blamed myself. Ron told the rest of your family the same night. Your dad understood enough to give me work off until I was myself again. It was six months before anyone spoke to me again, and that was when Harry could come see me. I knew that he was risking everything just to come see me, and I couldn't do that him and Ginny. That's when I decided it was time to just…go." She finished rather lamely. She took a shaky breath, and looked up at Fred, who was considering her entire story.
"Hermione, it's up to you at this point whether you want to go back. If you do go back though, I don't want you anywhere near Ron. He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you. In fact, it makes me want to tell you not to go, because I'd take much better care of you here." Fred tensed as his anger coursed through his body again.
Hermione considered her options. She could go back, get treatment and possibly be happy again, without Ron. Or she could stay here, in this place, with Fred, forever.
"Do you happen to know what the consequences of each choice are?" She asked, wondering how in the world she was going to make this decision. It was going to be far from easy, and she knew it.
"Well, if you go back, it's a long road to recovery. You'll have to go through therapy, and lots of it. If you stay here, you will have to watch your friends and family grieve for you from here. Truthfully, it was hard for me to watch. I honestly don't want to see what it will do to the rest of them if they lose you, too." Fred put his input in, and then sat back to watch her consider.
"Is there any way I could take you with me, if I go? I don't want to be alone anymore." Hermione felt her feelings betray her and confess what she'd been thinking for awhile now. Fred smiled at her sadly; there was no way for him to come back, no matter how much he wanted to. He desperately wished there was.
The quick snapping sound of a twig snapped them both from their thoughts. Another figure was coming towards them, one neither of them recognized. They looked curiously at each other as the girl neared them from the opposite way Fred had come.
"There is a way." She spoke softly, ethereally, "However, it comes at great cost."
"Erm..not to be rude, but who are you?" Fred asked her, curiously.
"I am the guardian of life and death. An oracle, if you will." The girl's ethereal voice did not change, but she glowed softly with a soft white light emanating from her.
"You said there's a way for him to come back?" Hermione asked curiously, hardly daring to believe that such a thing could be done.
"Yes, but like I said, it comes with a cost." The girl looked pointedly at Fred here, "The cost is something most people aren't willing to pay. First, however, you have to tell me why it is you want to go back, and the reason must be valid."
Without hesitation, Fred responded, "Hermione needs me. If she goes back, she's not going to be able to keep going on her own." The girl considered Fred's words, and smiled.
"Your reason is valid and unselfish. We will return you in such a way that it will be as if you never died. That part of their memories will be wiped out. The cost, however, is something you value greatly. More than you value anything else." Fred's stomach lurched, praying that he wouldn't have to give up his relationship with Hermione. There would be no point in going back then.
"I won't take Hermione from you, because she is your reason to go back. What I will have to take from you, is something that is yet to happen. The cost is that you will lose your first child." Her eyes darkened slightly, and Fred closed his eyes, considering it.
He opened them a moment later.
"I'll do it. I want to go back." His eyes sparkled knowing that he was about to be back at home, running his joke shop with his brothers and sister and friends. He grinned at Hermione, who looked absolutely bewildered at him, but smiled back, albeit a bit unsure.
The girl smiled, and spoke, "You need to back down the path Hermione came from. There you will find the door back to reality. The best of luck to you"
The girl dissolved almost at once. Startled, Fred and Hermione took a step back from the spot they stood.
"We're going home," Fred grinned at her again, and grabbed her hand, nearly dragging her down the path. "I can't wait."
Hermione knew that she would be grateful when she woke up. She just wondered how different things would be when it did.
A/N: It may take me a while to keep updating this, since school started again. I really didn't intend to make this a Fred/Hermione thing, but I like that pairing far too much to just ignore it. Plus, it's better than stopping this story to start something new. :) Twice as long as the previous chapters, because this chapter was really fun to write, actually, hopefully I can keep it up.
Reviews would be much appreciated. :)