A throbbing began in Hermione's head and she realized she must be close to reality once more. The feeling of the soft grass beneath her body faded, and was replaced by lumpy mattress, the warm air around her faded into a drafty room, and the smell of nature faded away into disinfectant and potion ingredients. The only thing that did not change as she woke was the feel of a hand in hers.
After struggling for a moment, she opened her eyes, and again, felt blinded by the lights above her. Quickly, she shut her eyes again, and then opened them once they adjusted to the brilliant fluorescent lights above her. The hand that had been in hers was gripping more tightly now, and hushed voices were speaking all around her. The fervent whisper sounded like "thank god, she's awake" said over and over again by people she couldn't see.
Her eyes fully adjusted to the room around her, and she realized that the person holding her hand was not Fred, like it had been when she'd gone back to sleep from the other world, but Harry. Her heart sank as she realized that her trip to the other side had been just a dream, but decided she would keep her hopes up until she saw a contradiction of it.
Hermione took a good look at Harry's face. He looked like he hadn't slept for days and worry creased every possible line on his forehead. He still held her hand, which she was just realizing was covered in bandages. She pulled her hand free from Harry's and realized what it was that she had done. Immediately realizing how much she must have scared him, she threw herself into a hug with as much for as she could muster, apologizing profusely.
"I'm so sorry, it was a stupid mistake. It wasn't until after I'd done it that I realized I didn't really want to die. Not when I really had so much to live for. Please, please don't be angry at me…"Hermione pleaded, pulling back from the hug so she could see his face.
Harry studied her for a moment, and then pulled her back into the hug one more time, trying to communicate to her that it was fine, she was alright, and that was what mattered most to him. He figured she must have understood when she started crying into his shoulder, feeling ridiculous.
After what seemed an eternity, he broke the hug and lay her back down in the bed where she belonged. She was still crying a bit, which they both were expecting.
"How long was I asleep?" She asked, wondering honestly if she had missed much.
"It's been a few days, Hermione. They kept you out until your blood was fully replenished. You lost a lot. They weren't expecting you to make it, but I guess you really had decided you wanted to live, and you fought hard to keep yourself here." Harry spoke thoughtfully, and carefully, so as not scare her again.
Hermione nodded mutely, knowing just how close she had come to death. At least, how close she thought she'd come to death. She desperately wanted to know if that had been a dream or reality. She desperately hoped for the latter choice, but she couldn't be sure. Harry was watching her as she seemed to stare off into space.
"Hermione?" He phrased her name like a question, sounding almost afraid of her.
"Hmm..?" She mumbled as she continued to stare at the wall, reliving her journey to the gate.
"Please don't ever do this to me again. I've never been so worried, and neither has anyone else. There was something you wrote in your letter that really bothered me. What you said about worrying about hurting me and Ginny because I went to help you. Why would you assume that helping my best friend would hurt us? Hermione, if she couldn't understand that you had really needed me, which she did, then why on earth would I stay with her? She's your friend, too, and she's been just as worried as I have been." Harry said all of this in a rush, but Hermione was quick enough to catch every word he'd spoken. He'd obviously been thinking very hard about what he was going to say when she woke up, and apparently for a while now. She blushed deeply, realizing her mistake in her line of thinking.
"I don't know, Harry. I guess I just wasn't thinking straight. I hadn't been for a long time. But I realized something while I was out. I really do deserve to live, and no one can make me feel like I don't deserve to and anyone that does doesn't deserve me at all." Tears ran down Hermione's face once again, betraying her feelings again, not that it mattered.
Harry smiled at her. He was glad to see that she had made some pretty serious revelations about herself, and that she was slowly moving on from every person that had ever hurt her. Childhood enemies from grammar school, bullies from Hogwarts, Ron, and every other single person in the world that had ever made her feel inferior to who she really was.
"Do you feel like you're up to seeing other people? They've been worried sick, and I'm guessing that now that they know you're awake they're absolutely dying to see you." Harry could hear the voices in the hallway growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed.
Hermione nodded slowly, recognizing that this would be the moment that she would know if that had been a dream or reality. She took a deep breath as a stream of people flooded into the hospital room. She beamed as she quickly saw the faces surrounding her; Molly and Arthur, Ginny, Hagrid, her parents, and a pair of twins that she hadn't seen together in nearly five years. It had been real! Her stomach was again in her throat as she saw Fred alive again for the first time in five years. As she met his eyes, he brought his finger to his lips, letting her not to exclaim on seeing him again.
It was apparent that her eyes lit up, but thankfully Hermione was sure that they thought it was because everyone was there to welcome her back. That wasn't untrue, she was glad no one hated her for being an idiot and nearly ending her own life, but her eyes lit up because she was sure she had found someone that was much, much better for her than he had ever been. In her mind, even thinking his name still hurt. She was far from truly over Ron, but she knew what direction she wanted to move.
Throughout the day more people came in and out, never leaving her a moment at peace. Harry never left her side, but Fred, to keep up appearances only stayed as long as his parents and Ginny did. Suddenly showing interest that way could truly bring up suspicion. Hermione wished he would stay longer, as she desperately needed to talk to him about what had happened. She kept up her appearances, especially when Ginny chose to spend a few hours talking and laughing like nothing had changed. Hermione really did appreciate that she chose to act like nothing had changed and that she still cared.
Finally, Ginny and Harry both headed out, finally giving Hermione a bit of peace and quiet. She sat up in bed and stretched. She had been lying down far too long. One of the healers on the ward popped and she had to ask if she could take a walk. She was desperate to move. After a few moments of pleading and a promise not to strain herself, she could walk to the end of the hall and back. It felt very good to stretch her legs. She made her way back down the hall to her room, tired out after her short adventure. There, sitting in a chair stretch out by the bed, was Fred Weasley.
Hermione grinned as she walked in the room, she couldn't help it. He was the direction she should have been moving in from the beginning. She sank back down on the bed, pulled the blankets up to her waist and turned to face him. She could see the mischievous smile lighting up his amazingly blue eyes. They were so like Ron's, only the blue was darker and had a light in them that Ron's had never captured.
It took a moment, but she realized they were staring at each other. Blushing, Hermione looked away, but when she looked at Fred again he was still looking at her.
"Hermione, can you believe that that craziness we just went through was real? I mean, can you believe that I just….came back to life?" Everything that he wanted to say was just spilling out, like a dam of words was spilling out.
She just shook her head, "No, Fred, I'm having a hard time believing it myself. I mean, that means I was really dead, doesn't it? That I had really died. I almost lost everything…" Fred watched her eyes cloud over, and worry etched itself across her forehead.
"But I think that's why I was there. You weren't meant to die that soon. Hermione, there was so much life for you to live that there was no way they were going to take you that soon. You had the choice, but they sent me because they knew I could convince you to go back." Fred said, watching her reaction very carefully.
"You knew all that? Really knew?" She asked, almost not believing a word he said.
"I'm pretty certain, but I wasn't directly told anything. Do you remember what I said to you?" He looked a little afraid of her reaction to that one.
Questions formed in her mind, as he had told her so many things while they were "dead".
"Which thing, exactly are you talking about?" She cocked her head to the side a little bit, very curious as to where this conversation was going.
"About how I…erm…have a thing for you?" Fred's ears turned red as he looked downward at his hands in his lap. Hermione felt herself blush as well, more from being nerbous as to what it is he was about to say. She had this absolute fear that he was going to take it back. She didn't want to find out that he didn't want to have any sort of feelings for her in reality. She took a deep breath, and let him continue.
"Do you think we should give it a try? Not now, obviously, but…eventually. I want to take this slower, especially after everything you went through with Ron. Not to mention…" He paused, trying to find the right words. Finally he took a deep breath and continued, "Ron's not really through with you. He broke up with that girl he was messing around with. I figure you should hear it before he tells you. I don't want you to go back to him, Hermione. He's not worth it."
The shocked expression on her face could've been from anything he had just said, but really, it was from hearing that Ron was hurting just as much as she was. Her head was spinning as she tried to work out what it was she was going to say to Fred.
"You're really rather cute when you look that clueless, you know that?" Fred grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood at little. She blushed and involuntarily felt herself break into a smile. No one made her feel quite as…she couldn't describe the feeling, but it was that feeling that made her find an answer for Fred's question.
"I don't know. It took me nearly seven years to say yes to Ron, and that was after he saved me from a troll and he was there through so many things…and there's so much you don't know, Fred…" She trailed off. There was so much he didn't know, like how Ron had up and left during their hunt for the horcruxes.
"Then start telling me. Hermione, I've never wanted to be close to someone like this. I want to know everything. I want you to trust me. Even if nothing comes of this but becoming your best friend, that's fine, I just want you to be happy." Fred's face was the most serious Hermione had ever seen it. There was such intensity in his eyes that she had to look away. She had never seen this side of Fred before, and quite frankly, she liked it. He was intelligent and loving and all the things she wanted.
With a deep breath, Hermione began talking. Telling Fred anything and everything he wanted to know. Pausing only when he wanted to ask a question, or when she strayed too far of a subject. Hours, it seemed, passed before she was finally done talking. Fred was just left staring at her in disbelief.
"I didn't know things had gotten that bad with you Hermione…I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner." He looked sad when he spoke and Hermione felt a pang of guilt for making him look that way.
"It's okay. You were dead; you couldn't have done anything, really, anyway." She half-laughed at that but it didn't quite reach her eyes, "I guess part of the reason I felt so terrible after Ron left the second time was that I was still traumatized from the first time he left…especially because he was over reacting both times." She closed her eyes so Fred wouldn't see the pain in them.
She could practically hear the anger coming off of him as he rose from the chair and sat on the bed. Sitting down, he wrapped her securely in his arms, where she buried her face in his shoulder and cried until she fell asleep again.
ATTENTION: There is someone reading this story that I would very much like to thank. Even if she isn't talking to me, MintyRocker is still complimenting my writing and being generally encouraging. Thank you so much. Can we please try to work this out?