Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: So I still don't own KotOR.

"Hello, and welcome to the planet Tatooine," the Czerka representative greeted them the moment they all stepped off the ship. "The docking fee is 100 credits-"

"We're not giving you 100 credits," Revan said flatly, looking her straight in the eye.

"But I suppose we can waive it just this once," the representative continued without missing a beat. "We've also loaded a supply of gizka onto your ship and after double-checking our records realized that we probably shouldn't have done that so even though we're not going to lift a finger in getting them off, we won't charge you for them."

"You will personally ensure that every gizka will be off of my ship within the hour," Revan corrected, still maintaining eye contact.

"Yes, now that I think of it, it just wouldn't do to have people thinking Czerka is that negligent," the representative mused. "I'll have them off the ship within the hours and you have my humblest apologies. Do you have any questions about the planet?"

"Not really, no," Revan replied.

"Well I do," Bastila spoke up. "We're looking for an ancient artifact. Is there anything we might need to know about the planet in light of that fact?"

"An ancient artifact, huh?" the representative asked. "There's nothing like that here in Anchorhead but then again most of the planet is covered in this infernal sand so I'd recommend checking the desert. That sill won't be much use to you seeing as how there is so very much sand around and between the sandstorms and the Sand People you won't be able to search very well."

"What are the Sand People?" Carth asked.

The representative shuddered. "They are a race if vile little people that live in the desert and keep attacking our caravans. If you see one, just kill it. You'll be doing the galaxy a favor. You won't find any in Anchorhead, though, and without a hunting license you can't leave the city."

"Hunting license, huh?" Canderous mused, rubbing his chin. "That sounds somehow both promising and insulting. Why should I need a license to kill peo-animals?"

"We at Czerka corporation will not be held accountable for the deaths of those who refuse to listen to reason and storm out into the desert unprepared and so you have to sign a waiver and pay a fee to get a hunting license," the representative explained. "You wouldn't believe the kind of lawsuits we were getting before. Apparently even though we issue warning at the gates, some people honestly never expected that a volatile desert with angry barbarian natives could be dangerous."

"I guess the Hunting Lodge is our first stop then," Zaalbar declared.

The representative blinked. "Sorry, I don't speak that language."

"Yes!" Carth cheered. "I'm not the only one!"

"That's not really anything to celebrate, Carth," Revan told him. "Czerka is well-known for being largely xenophobic."

"We are not xenophobic," the representative sniffed. "And I will refer you to our attorney is you insist on spreading such malicious rumors."

"What Big Z was trying to say was that we should head to the Hunting Lodge to get our license," Mission translated, hoping to forestall an argument.

"Oh, well I'm afraid that that's simply out of the question," the representative explained.

"What? Why?" Canderous demanded, looking very put out and slightly homicidal at the thought that he wouldn't get a chance to kill anyone while he was here.

"We've not giving out any more hunting licenses until the attacks on Czerka by the Sand People have stopped as we're not willing to risk anyone's safety!" the representative declared passionately. "Although if you're that eager to go out and get yourself killed then sign up to kill the Sand People for us and we'll give you a license."

"Clearly you're not that worried about public safety," Mission muttered.

"Of course we are!" the representative insisted. "That's why you have to sign three waivers. One for the hunting license and two in order to gain employment with us. You can never be too careful."

"Yes, yes you really can," Zaalbar assured her.

"Well, if that's all then I'm off. I only have fifty-three minutes to remove those gizka, you know," the representative informed them before rushing off.

"I can't believe you used the Force in such an inane matter!" Bastila exploded.

"Really?" Mission asked, surprised. "It seemed like a perfectly Revan thing for him to do."

"What, so you'd rather have to pay a docking fee and deal with those gizka?" Revan challenged. "It's bad enough T3 can't come because of all the sand but to be forced to part with my money and deal with those creepy little lizard things on top of that? I'm not sure I can do that Bastila, not even for you."

"The docking fee, yes, although the gizka…" Bastila hesitated. "You must be careful, Revan. I don't want to see you fall to the dark side."

Revan was touched. "Aw, you do care after all!"

Canderous snorted. "Please, Princess, he's not going to fall because he neglected to pay a stupid docking fee."

"I just don't think we should take any chances," Bastila insisted.

"I'll think about it," Revan promised. "But only because you're so beautiful."

Bastila closed her eyes and groaned.

Unfortunately, they barely managed to take two steps away from the Ebon Hawk before two Twi'lek and two humans rushed up to them.

"Bastila, you're mother-"

"Mission, you're brother-"

"Carth, you're son-"

"Canderous, you bastard-"

"Okay, hold up!" Revan ordered. "We can't have you all bore us with personal problems all at once. Why don't you go first, guy that called Canderous a bastard? I really don't agree but this at least sounds interesting. Well, comparatively at any rate."

"Thank you," the man said smugly. "My name is Jagi and I used to serve under Canderous here."

Revan groaned. "Oh, Force, not a jealous ex! How cliché can you be?"

"We never dated, Revan," Canderous informed him flatly. Seeing Revan about to respond, he elaborated. "We never fooled around, either. I was his commander in the War."

"Well that's alright then," Revan decided. "Carry on."

"You left me and everyone else to die!" Jagi accused.

The three others who hadn't gotten their chance to speak yet gasped dramatically.

"It's true," Jagi said grimly. "And I'm going to kill you for it."

"Not here, I hope," Bastila spoke up. "Czerka would probably try to charge us another fee."

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"What?" Bastila demanded, her hands on her hips. "Am I supposed to be all 'no, murder is wrong'? He's a Mandalorian. He'd probably refuse to speak to me if I did. Although that might not be all that bad…"

Canderous nodded. "She's right. I would. But Jagi, I had to leave you all to die. I saw an opportunity for glory!"

"What use is glory to the dead?" Jagi spat bitterly.

Canderous shrugged. "Not much, I guess, but I certainly wasn't planning on dying."

"Death is scared of Canderous," Revan added loyally.

"And no remorse, either, after all this time!" Jagi cried out, anguished.

"You fail at being a Mandalorian forever," Canderous said dismissively. "Honestly, 'you should put your lives men above glory'? Who says that crap? Go join the Republic, why don't you?"

Jagi gasped. "Take! That! Back!"

"Let me think about it…" Canderous trailed off, pretending to think. "No."

"Then I challenge you to a duel in the Dunes!" Jagi declared.

"I'll be there," Canderous vowed, his eyes dancing dangerously.

"Not for nothing, but how would you even find each other if you don't get any more specific than 'the Dunes'?" Carth asked reasonably. "And we don't have a hunting license so we can't get out there so you either don't have one either and thus can't go or do and can help us get out there? And why does it have to be in the Dunes anyway? That's hardly the best location for a fight or are you guys just trying to be dramatic? And another thing-"

Canderous jerked his head towards Carth. "See, that's what Republic soldiers are like."

"Now I'll kill you doubly for your insult," Jagi bit out, deeply offended. "Until then, Canderous. Try not to let the little sand creatures kill you first."

Canderous shook his head ruefully. "That boy had such promise. Now I think even Republic here could take him."

"Hey!" Carth protested.

"Okay, who wants to go next? Let's go with one of the Twi'leks so I'm not being accused of being racist," Revan decided.

"I'll go," one of them spoke up quickly. "Bastila, how are you, dear?"

Bastila looked confused. "Do I know you?"

"Well, maybe not," the woman conceded. "But I'm a friend of your mother's and my name is Malare. you look just like your mother…poor Helena…"

Bastila looked horrified. "I do not! Take that back you vile, horrible woman!"

"But…but you do!" poor Malare insisted.

"I'm warning you, I have a lightsaber and I'm not afraid to use it," Bastila threatened.

"Didn't you just say five minutes ago I shouldn't use the Force for inane things like, say, being told I resemble one of my parents?" Revan reminded her.

"Don't be silly, Revan, this isn't like that at all," Bastila disagreed.

"It isn't?" Revan asked skeptically.

"No," Bastila confirmed. "For one thing, a lightsaber doesn't require the Force to activate."

"I…I just wanted to ask if you'd been in to see Helena," Malare said, looking terrified.

Bastila made a face. "Why would I? She wouldn't want to see me anyway."

"But she's dying!" Malare declared passionately.

"…What was that?" Bastila asked.

"Your mother is dying and she's all alone so all she wants is to see her only child again!" Malare claimed. "Would you really deny her that?"

Bastila looked torn. "I…suppose…not."

"Well, now that I've done my public service I can go about the rest of my business," Malare informed them before running off.

"So I won't be accused of being racist against humans – and don't give me that look, guys, it has happened – why don't you go next, other human?" Revan invited.

"Okay," the man nodded. "My name is Jordo and if you don't remember me, Carth, then I'm just leaving right now and won't tell you anything about your son."

"Jordo, old buddy, I remember you," Carth said immediately. "Back on Taris we'd go drinking. Good times…good times…before, you know, the Sith blew it up. I really need to kill Saul for that… slowly and painfully. Canderous promised to help."

"It's the only thing that makes me feel that there is hope for you, Republic," Canderous declared.

"And why do you keep calling me that, anyway?" Carth wondered.

"Because he's awesome like that," Revan replied. "Duh."

"So you're still anti-Sith, huh?" Jordo mused.

Carth stared at him. "Am I still anti-Sith? Of course I'm still anti-Sith! The Sith killed my wife and son and razed my planet!"

"Yeah, they did do that," Jordo acknowledged. "Oh, except the part about your son."

"My son is dead," Carth said heavily. "I never found his body but I know he's as dead as Morgana…"

Revan yawned. "I'm bored. Mission, want to play Pazaak?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Mission said eagerly and took out her deck.

"Don't you two have any decency?" Zaalbar wondered.

"You're just jealous because Pazaak is a two-person game and I asked first," Revan said smugly.

"I'll play you," Canderous volunteered. "If you have another deck."

Mission absently passed a second deck to Zaalbar who started shuffling.

"You guys are horrible," Bastila complained.

"You're just jealous because there isn't anyone for you to play with," Revan claimed. "Although don't worry, I still like you."

"That's…very interesting, Carth," Jordo lied. "But seriously, your son is not dead. I saw him on Korriban at the Sith Academy and I only remember this because I was all 'You know, Carth used to be pretty anti-Sith so I can't imagine that he's pleased about this' and so when I saw you I decided to ask about it. Dustil always did manage to guilt you into supporting whatever he wanted to do because you were never home."

"I was trying to make the galaxy a safer place and the Republic needed me," Carth said automatically. He'd gone into shock at the words 'Sith Academy.'

As he just continued to stand there, Bastila decided to help him out by elbowing him in the side.

"What do you mean you saw him at a Sith Academy?" Carth cried out, horrified.

Jordo shrugged. "Just what I said. I haven't seen him for awhile and I don't think he recognized me but he looked enough like you that I could tell it was him."

"Well, thank you for telling me this, I guess," Carth said, trying to keep himself under control.

"I'm really sorry," Jordo apologized, wincing slightly. "I thought you knew…" He quickly made his excuses and took off.

The last Twi'lek stood there for a few minutes waiting to be acknowledged by Carth was too caught up in his grief and horror, Bastila was trying to convince herself she really didn't look at all like her evil mother, and the others were too busy with their card game. Eventually she cleared her throat.

"Yes?" Revan drawled when he finally deigned to look at her.

"Is it my turn yet?" she asked. "Everyone else already went."

"If you must," Revan said with a put-upon sigh. "Mission, I believe she was saying something about your brother?"

"I have nothing to say to the likes of her," Mission sniffed, refusing to put down the cards.

"Mission," the Twi'lek looked hurt. "It's me, Lena. Don't you remember me?"

"Of course I remember you, you gold-digger," Mission said coldly. "Why would I have anything to say to the woman who stole my brother from me? Is he still around or did you use up all his money and ditch him on some convenient planet somewhere?"

"Mission…I'm not sure where you got the idea that I wanted to leave you behind but that's not at all how it happened!" Lena exclaimed. "I wanted to take you with us! You were just a child, it was absurd to leave you alone. I even offered to pay your way like I did Griff's but he wouldn't hear of it. He said you were better off there for now and he'd come back for you when he struck it rich. Eventually I grew tired of his gold-digging ways and gave him the boot. I'm relieved to see that you managed to get off of Taris alive. I was worried."

"Force, Lena, you're such a liar!" Mission shouted. "My brother would never do that to me! He loves me! I hate you and I want you to leave!"

Lena looked upset. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I should probably go. I've heard he's working for Czerka now, here on Tatooine. If you really want to find him again I'd recommend looking there."

With that, Lena too took her leave.

"I hate her," Mission declared. "She is just the worst person ever. She's so bad I'm surprised she's not a Sith. But maybe they took one look at her and decided that she was too evil even for them. Still...if she's right about Griff being on Tatooine then I'm going to need to find him. I don't believe Lena's story but I need to ask him anyway so I can hear just how much of a lie it is from him."

"And I suppose I should look for my mother," Bastila said reluctantly. "Knowing her she's probably off in a Cantina somewhere…Surely I don't REALLY look like her. I mean, really? We looked nothing alike when I was a child. Sure people used to say I looked like a mini-her but my father assured me that that wasn't truth and he wouldn't lie to me."

"And I need to go duel Jagi to prove what a pathetic excuse for a Mandalorian he is," Canderous declared. "Not that it isn't blatantly obvious but I'm sure it will be glorious anyway."

"And then once we're done with Tatooine we need to head straight for Korriban," Carth said firmly. "I have to see Dustil as a student at this supposed Sith Academy for myself in order to believe it. Why do Sith even have an Academy and what do they even do there?"

"Why wouldn't they?" Bastila asked sensibly. "The Jedi do, after all. Since most of the Jedi training is about self-control so you don't fall to the dark side I'd imagine their training is a good deal shorter."

"I think that Carth's suggestion is a good one," Zaalbar spoke up. "We really should go and make sure his son is okay instead of, I don't know, returning to Kashyyyk where I was exiled a few years back…"

"It's strange," Revan remarked. "I totally was paying no attention but I feel that if I were I would be suspicious right now…"

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