Chapter Twenty-Six

Kaeya bounced liquidly on his heels as he dropped into Sumeru. He opened his mouth to forestall whatever comment Diluc was about to make, and froze.

The redhead had fallen asleep on the far side of the fire, his breathing deep and even. His usual flatly annoyed look had vanished in slumber, leaving him looking so much softer and less jaded. Crimson hair tumbled across his coat. A small notebook and a pen had fallen from his gloved hand as he slept on his side with his back to the rock, and Kaeya smiled ruefully at his position. Keeping your back guarded even when you're asleep, eh Diluc? But his attention was caught by the book on the ground beside his exhausted brother.

As the unofficial spymaster of Mondstadt, and a certified younger brother, it never occurred to Kaeya to leave the notebook alone. Softly he stepped to Diluc's side and knelt to pick up the item. He carried it back to the fire and stirred the dying embers absently, adding another log before settling down with a final wary look at his sibling. Good, he's still asleep.

He flipped open the cover of the book and turned the first page.

Bennett burned Kaeya's cape by accident this week. I've been working on a new one for him, but I wonder if he'll even want it. I'm sure he could get a replacement easily, but I've seen him wandering around with some woolen scarf. Did he forget that wool makes his skin break out? I'll just make him the cape, drop it off in Jean's office after hours, and let him decide what to do with it.

One of Kaeya's hands unconsciously stroked the very same cape, now settled around his shoulders. His eye softened, something like a smile stealing across his mouth.

He flipped another page. There was a picture of Dawn, Diluc's falcon. Compared to the drawings he'd found littered all over his room after his curtailed trip to Sumeru all those years ago, Diluc's artistic skills had drastically improved.

Another page.

I was a fool. I let an Abyss Herald slip past my guard, and now Adalinde has confined me to the bedroom for a week. It shouldn't scar too badly, it was a clean cut, but I was pretty weak when I finally managed to return to the mansion. I suppose I can't blame her for her overreaction. At least it's winter. It won't raise any eyebrows when the news spreads that I'm feeling under the weather and have decided to cancel my engagements for the next week.

Kaeya's stomach dropped, and he couldn't stop his gaze from darting to his slumbering brother. He was badly injured this winter, and didn't tell me?! His fingers tightened on the delicate pages, crumpling them. Distracted, he glanced down at the book again and turned another page.

I dealt with another group of Fatui that were creeping too close to the city. I also dispatched a gang of Treasure Hoarders who were plotting to make off with the Holy Lyre Der Himmel. I can't imagine Barbara would be too pleased if someone absconded with her precious relic… again.

He kept paging through the journal, finding sketches and entries in Diluc's defiant handwriting. The entries chronicled many of Diluc's nightly exploits, fearlessly throwing himself into the never-ending struggle to defend Mondstadt from the threats that the Knights never really saw. The drawings were beautiful but sparse, not quite up to Albedo's talents, yet still subtly eye-catching. There were sketches of Mondstadt, of the winery, of Stormterror's Lair, and many of Dawn in various poses. But when a thin page slipped free from the notebook and wafted to the ground, Kaeya didn't have to see the signature of 'Calx' to recognize Albedo's distinctively stunning skill. Ah, this is the picture he gifted to Diluc this afternoon. He picked it up, inhaling sharply as he took in the scene.

Instead of the charcoal sketches Albedo had given to Kaeya and Noelle, this picture was painted in full color. A young boy with an eyepatch was the center of the picture, his hair messy and barely contained in a silken ribbon. He had a startled look in his eye. His mouth was turned up in a tentative smile, his hands resting lightly on the arms thrown exuberantly around his shoulders. The redheaded owner of those arms was hugging him tightly from the back, his shout of laughter practically echoing from the painting, his eyes alight with enthusiasm. Sunshine bathed the two of them in light, chasing away any possible shadows lingering in their eyes and leaving nothing but the wild freedom of being young and happy and innocent.

Kaeya's throat tightened. Albedo had captured both boys with pinpoint accuracy. Newly accepted into the Ragnvinder house, Kaeya had struggled to believe the warmth with which both Ragnvinders greeted him. Diluc had appointed himself as Kaeya's best friend, and spent hours showing him through the city and introducing him to everyone. Kaeya's shy, quiet demeanor had gradually blossomed into self-confidence with the bold example who guarded him zealously against anything that might possibly harm him.

He rubbed the edge of the paper gently between his fingers and became aware of another page behind it. He set down Albedo's painting, revealing a second painting tucked against the first. If the first picture brought back nostalgia, this one stripped away every single thought and left him with a bone-shattering sense of longing. He couldn't even breath.

Diluc was caught in the act of writing, the sharp slash of jolted ink bold against the white notebook knocked from his grip. His eyes were laughing, a reluctant smile tugging at his mouth as Kaeya half-dragged him sideways. A pair of swords lay discarded in the grass along with a Pyro Vision and a Cryo Vision behind the brothers, clearly deemed unnecessary by the relaxed posture of both men. One of Kaeya's arms was slung around Diluc's shoulders, and his other hand was waving in the air as he described something to his brother, too eager to care about interrupting Diluc's writing. But this picture wasn't of two over-eager boys as the first painting had been. This was a perfect depiction of Kaeya and Diluc as the adults that they were today, only… happy.

Even the sound of the fire faded slightly as Kaeya stared at the picture of two brothers in complete harmony. This was what he'd missed. The way Diluc didn't mind his exuberance. The way he joined in without missing a beat. The way he could trust Diluc with anything and know he would never tell another soul. The way he knew his brother would protect him to the end of time, and he could be totally secure in that knowledge.

Carefully he set Albedo's second painting down. He didn't move for a long time. Eventually he took a deep breath and flipped the page, revealing the entry where Diluc had fallen asleep that night. He read it slowly, confusion jolting through him.

…How can he face me, after everything I did to him? I don't understand…

… Sometimes I want to say something, anything, out of a morbid sense of curiosity, I suppose, to see how much he truly resents me.

…And it's all my fault.

I miss my brother.

"So now you know."

The calm voice startled Kaeya so badly he nearly jumped into a teleport. Frozen, he stared at his brother as Diluc sat up and rubbed his face to clear the sleep from his eyes. The Cryo user couldn't think of a word to say as his brother's gaze dropped to the notebook held loosely in Kaeya's hands and the paintings lying on the grass. He watched as Diluc's gloved hands fisted slightly; a vulnerable look flitting over his face before meeting Kaeya's dazed look.

"You've read my journal, I assume." When Kaeya nodded mutely, a shiver ran down Diluc's arms. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have attacked you that night."