Chapter Twenty-Seven

Diluc paused for an instant, staring at Kaeya. His sense of honor urged him to apologize, but oh, it was hard to say anything when his little brother looked at him with such confusion. I shouldn't tell him all of this. I have to protect him. But the look in Kaeya's eye and the way he glanced down at Diluc's journal prodded him on. This time when Diluc's defiant stare faltered, he looked off to the side and swallowed hard. "I shouldn't have pushed you the way I did. I know I hurt you, almost killed you, and I… I couldn't live with that. And I knew that if the Fatui found out about your origins, they'd come for you. So I left." He took a deep breath. I have to tell him everything. Kaeya still looked too stunned to respond as Diluc forced himself to continue. "I attacked every Fatui base I could find, trying to make myself a bigger target so they wouldn't realize who you were. And… I couldn't face you anymore. Not after I betrayed your trust like I did. It wasn't until I nearly died in Snezhnaya that I realized I was still putting you in danger. If they couldn't stop me through brute force, one of the Harbingers was eventually going to hit on the idea of using those close to me against me. I decided that the best thing I could do was return to Mondstadt and guard it myself. They'd have to go through me to reach you." Unconsciously Diluc drew his boots slightly closer to his body, as if to protect himself. His voice was still defensive as he admitted, "I-I didn't mean to abandon you. But… I couldn't risk letting the Fatui know that I still think of you as a… as a brother. So I kept pushing you away, even when I got back. Everything that's happened to you, everything you've endured… it's all my fault." His knees edged closer to his chest, and he couldn't look up at his brother as he whispered, "You trusted me with your most dangerous secret, and I-I failed you."

There was a long silence before Kaeya stirred. Sarcasm tinged every word as he said, "So you mean the fact that I grew up with a father and a brother who loved me… that was your fault?" Diluc's eyes flew up to meet Kaeya's, startled. Kaeya didn't let him speak, though. "The fact that even after I told you my darkest secret and you left, I wasn't arrested because you didn't tell the Knights of Favonius my secret… that was your fault? The fact that I was swiftly promoted to take on your mantle as Cavalry Captain and given every opportunity due to being from the illustrious house of Ragnvinder… that was your fault?" The Cryo user looked up at the stars above them. His tone softened. "The fact that my father abandoned a defenseless boy in the rain with only plots to keep him company… that was your fault? And when that boy was rescued, adopted, and loved by the very people he was meant to infiltrate… that was your fault?"

It was Diluc's turn to stare in silent shock as Kaeya met his gaze. "Don't kid yourself. It's not your fault. It's mine. I should've told you about my heritage long before that night. I just… that night, when Father died," (Diluc knew by the loving caress of Kaeya's voice on the denominator exactly which father he meant) "It felt like everything fell into perfect clarity. I'd been struggling with what I'd been told when I was abandoned in the woods. You and Father were so kind to me, so welcoming. I didn't want to have anything to do with Khaenri'ah's plans for Mondstadt, but I felt honor-bound to obey them. They were my people, right?" He paused, then continued more slowly. "When Father died… I realized the truth. He could've done anything that day when he found me in the woods. I wasn't from Mondstadt, anyone could tell that at a glance. He could've left me there, or taken me to the Knights of Favonius to be interrogated, or he could've merely taken me to an orphanage and washed his hands of the matter entirely. But he didn't. He took me in without the slightest hesitation. And so… when he died, I felt like for the first time, I knew where I belonged. In Mondstadt, fiercely defending our family's honor. So I told you my secret so that there would be nothing between us. I didn't realize… I didn't stop to think what you would feel." He winced. "I'm sorry."

Silence fell again. Diluc watched his brother, trying to process Kaeya's words. Finally he said slowly, "I don't feel like I can ask for forgiveness for what I've done to you. You can't be brothers with me again, and I understand that. I will respect that. But—"

Kaeya cut him off. "Why not?" he challenged, fiery ferocity in his gaze.

"Because there's no way you can forgive me for turning on you when you trusted me!" Diluc exploded, shooting to his feet.

Kaeya shot up too, his eye flashing. "I forgave you before I got my Cryo Vision, Diluc! I just didn't get a chance to tell you!"

Diluc fell back a step. "You—what? Your Vision came in the middle of our fight because I was about to kill you!"

Stubbornly Kaeya said, "I know. And you had every right to execute a traitor to Mondstadt. I forgave you."

Diluc looked away sharply. "I don't deserve your forgiveness," he said harshly.

He heard Kaeya take two swift steps towards him, and a hand landed on his shoulder, His eyes darted up to meet Kaeya's gaze. "And I don't deserve yours. Forgiveness isn't earned. Although I don't know how you can forgive me for essentially revealing my betrayal the night that you lost Father."

Diluc clasped Kaeya's wrist, staring at his brother. He said, "I never once thought you would truly betray us, once I could think past the grief. I'm truly sorry for how I treated you."

His brother glanced back at the notebook lying beside the fire, then looked back at Diluc. "You're not the only one who misses his brother," he said softly.

The Pyro user's gloved hand tightened slightly on his brother's wrist, Kaeya still holding his shoulder. His scarlet eyes searched Kaeya's, and after a long moment, he nodded. "Then… I would be honored if you would consider yourself my brother, Kaeya Alberich Ragnvinder."

Relief flooded Kaeya's face, so poignant that Diluc blinked. "Believe me, the honor is all mine." He threw his arms around Diluc in an embrace so tight the redhead lost his breath. He wrapped his own arms around his brother, patting Kaeya's shoulder firmly as he gazed into the fire. The flames blurred through his emotions, and he blinked quickly.

I have my brother back, and I will NOT lose him again.