Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"Ah, Revan," Uthar greeted him warmly. "It's good to see you. I haven't actually seen any of the other potential students in quite some time and so you can rest assured that they don't seem to be in danger of stealing your position."

"Oh, I either killed them or otherwise convinced them to leave," Revan explained. His companions were all hanging back as Uthar was supposed to view them all as just slaves and slaves generally didn't participate in discussions to the extent that they usually did. Granted, they hadn't actually been acting like that during their entire time on Korriban but Uthar was the man in charge so they may as well make the effort.

Or maybe they just didn't want to deal with this. After all, Revan didn't feel that there was anything suspicious about his 'slaves' doing whatever it was that they wanted to do although it might indicate that he was weak if he couldn't control them. That or just extremely apathetic.

"That certainly gets rid of any urgency," Uthar remarked, completely unfazed by the admission. Huh. Revan hadn't thought he'd be surprised that it actually happened but he thought the fact that he had just openly admitted it instead of making any effort to disguise it might have raised an eyebrow or two. Evidently Sith didn't actually demand subtlety. Which, based on what he'd seen, did not surprise him in the slightest. "Although you still need to gather sufficient prestige on your own. I wouldn't want to be accused of blatant favoritism after all. Now, learning the code was a good start but I can't actually award you any prestige for getting rid of the competition as such things are usually assumed to be mere incompetence on the part of the failures instead of any great skill on the part of the one who succeeded. So have you done anything to earn more prestige?"

"Well, I found some holocron Lashowe was looking for, got rid of some renegade students hidden in a cave, killed your previous master, neutralized a malfunctioning assassin droid, retrieved the sword of Ajunta Pall, and found out that the Mandalorian that was being interrogated had hidden whatever you were looking for on a hidden compartment in his ship," Revan recited, feeling slightly dizzy as he thought of all that he had reluctantly accomplished since arriving. And he wasn't even done yet…At least this would, hopefully, be the end of his prestige-gathering.

Uthar responded by slapping his forehead. "The Mandalorian had a hidden compartment in his ship? Why didn't we think of that before having the ship destroyed? I'm going to have to kill someone for that and possibly more than just 'someone'. I mean, I'm not even sure what we were looking for but that is really incompetent."

Revan shrugged. "Well, what can you do?"

"Kill them," Uthar repeated. "I just said that. I must admit, Revan, I'm surprised that you managed to accomplish all of that. It seems…unusually industrious."

Revan jerked his head towards his companions. "What do you think I have them for?"

"Oh, so you have your slaves do most of the work?" Uthar asked. "That does seem sensible given your disinclination to really do much of the manual labor. Most people would be uncomfortable having their slaves even knowing how to fight, much less armed."

"I've never had any real problems," Revan said, shrugging. Sure, Carth occasionally suspected him of being a traitor but he suspected everyone he met of being a traitor at some point or another and he had enough social graces not to actually act on it.

"Still, I should warn you that when you take your final exam then you'll have to do it alone," Uthar cautioned.

Bastila practically had a heart attack. "Do it alone?" she hissed. "Not only will he have to deal with a highly corruptive Star Map by himself but he will actually have to find it within himself to complete the task!"

"Well, on the bright side if he takes too long to come back then Uthar will probably just leave and we can try and sneak it after him and make him actually do something," Carth said, trying to be positive.

"Your slaves really are opinionated, aren't they?" Uthar remarked, surprised. "And they seem to have a shocking amount of concern for you."

Revan crossed his arms and glared at him. "Are you saying that it's weird for people to care about me and my safety?"

"Well, no," Uthar hastily back-tracked. "It's just that they're slaves and slaves don't normally give a damn about their master."

"Well maybe I'm just that awesome," Revan claimed.

"Or that lazy," Bastila murmured.

"Not helping," Revan retorted. He turned back to Bastila. "I like arguing. It's very…energizing. And not everyone around me will appreciate a good argument at the drop of a hat but if you can't have your salves oblige you on that front then what, I ask you, is the point of having slaves?"

"A lot of people would say for the sex," Uthar replied.

"That seems kind of pathetic and desperate," Revan noted.

"I could use a nice nap," Mission remarked, doing a much better job of being positive than Carth likely because she really didn't care one way or another who ruled the galaxy.

"I agree," Zaalbar spoke up. "And if we could just stay here forever and then never ever under any circumstances ever go back to Kashyyyk then that would be great."

"You know, if Carth could actually understand you he would probably be incredibly suspicious right now," Canderous said with a smirk, knowing full well the effect that that was going to have on the pilot.

Carth, to his surprise, merely scowled and crossed his arms. "Right," he laughed. "Like I'm really going to trust your translations."

T3 beeped something.

"Translation: You trust Mission's," HK announced.

"Mission is a perfectly lovely little girl who would never, under any circumstances, even consider lying to me," Carth declared.

"Your faith in me is touching," Mission said virtuously.

"If a tad misplaced," Zaalbar added.

"Carth does not look old in that jacket!" Mission cried, sounding shocked.

Revan stood in the tomb of Naga Sadow and watched as Uthar and Yuthura shot nasty death glares at each other when they thought that the other wasn't looking. Of course, it was leading to some awkward moments when Yuthura was glaring when Uthar turned to glare at her or vice versa. Was that their normal interaction or something? If he were either of them (or just even a person who wasn't well-aware that they were out to betray each other) then he'd have instantly realized that they were out to betray each other. He wouldn't have actually done anything about it but he would have still known.

"Okay so I probably should have asked this sooner but I didn't care so…what, exactly, am I supposed to do here?" Revan asked eventually when it looked like they were going to be too busy hating each other to bother with him.

"Oh, so you care now?" Yuthura asked, surprised.

"Well, no," Revan admitted. "But it would be kind of hard to do whatever it is that I'm supposed to do if I don't know what it is. Not that that would be impossible, mind you, just a bit more difficult and I am – on general principle – opposed to difficult things."

"I'm not sure that you will go very far in life, let alone in the Sith, with that kind of attitude," Yuthura warned him.

To her great surprise, Revan started to laugh. "You would think, wouldn't you? Oh, if only…"

"There just happens to be an ancient Star Map of some sort in the back of this tomb," Uthar began to explain. He frowned. "I'm…actually not sure why because that seems like a really bad place to put it and if the tomb was built around the map you'd think they could have destroyed said map or built the tomb elsewhere. I guess the ancient Sith Lords decided that they weren't going to change their plans for anyone and anything and since they were ancient Sith Lords I'm sure that they knew best. So yeah, it's here and so we decided to use that as a nice landmark. It's in the back of a tomb and so we put your new lightsaber right next to it. If you come back alive then you pass. If not then you're dead so I hardly think failing is something you should really concern yourself with."

"Wait…" Revan said. "You guys are just going to give me a lightsaber? The Jedi kept making me make my own."

Yuthura decided to answer this question. "We of the Dark Side are not always well known for our patience. Creating a lightsaber takes patience. Forcing everyone to do so increases the risk that something goes horribly wrong and by this point we are mildly invested in our students and would rather that they lose their lives to each other than to a freak lightsaber making accident. If you have a problem with the lightsaber that we've supplied you are, of course, free to make your own."

"I already have a lightsaber, see?" Revan asked, brandishing his beloved purple double-bladed one.

"Isn't the whole reason you joined the Academy so you could get access to this tomb?" Yuthura reminded him.

Revan sighed. "True…"

"We'll wait as long as we can but don't worry if you come back and we're not here. That just means that our attention spans weren't long enough to stay until the end of your final exam," Uthar told him.

"Oh don't worry, I understand completely," Revan assured them. "In fact, I should get going lest I get too bored to move before even getting anywhere near the Star Map."

"You mean 'lightsaber', right?" Yuthura asked pointedly.

Revan shrugged. "Sure, let's go with that." He started to walk off but then stopped and snapped his fingers as something occurred to him. "So, do you guys actually regularly go back there and place lightsabers in the tomb for people to retrieve? How do you do so without killing any beasts? Or do you regularly kill the beasts and then bring new ones in? Or aren't their any beasts in here at all? Because, let me tell you, this whole thing sounds really inefficient. And it's the kind of thing that makes you think that anyone who could actually pass all of these tests doesn't actually need to be a part of the Academy after all."

Uthar was twitching. "Just. Go."

Revan groaned as he came upon a second puzzle. The first one was extremely tedious as he had to play around with some rings and a few pillars (and totally cheated with the Force as avoiding minor inconveniences like that was half the point of getting some semblance of Force training). This one was far more basic but still kind of insulting. There was acid spread on the ground and no way around it. There was a fire grenade and an ice grenade located right next to it. Clearly what he was supposed to do was to throw the ice grenade at the acid (or, if he were an utter idiot, blow himself up with the fire grenade) and then walk over the frozen surface. Revan, however, decided that one never knew when an ice grenade would come in handy and so chose to instead pocket both grenades and jump over the acid. In doing so, he enabled future laziness by actually doing something today.

He walked into the room that had the Star Map in it. He could search for the lightsaber but he wasn't particularly invested in finding it and actually looking for things was just so inefficient so he simply raised his hand and summoned it to him. Honestly, the Force may have been the cause of most of his problems in life but it also allowed him to get by with his current attitude and motivation so he couldn't complain. He approached the Star Map and opened it. It definitely radiated an aura of evil but that didn't really concern Revan very much. After all, what happened happened and he had at least some experience with the dark side so it wasn't like he was likely accidentally become a Sith. The odds of that happening just once were small and for it to occur more than once? Well…it seemed even less likely. With his luck, however, it could still happen.

Once he copied the Star Map into his datapad, he leisurely strolled back towards the entrance of the tomb and feeling very fortunate that he hadn't been called upon to rescue anything or anyone because people in need were always a nuisance and he'd be forced to deal with those people himself. Once he reached the room he had left Uthar and Yuthura in, he found them heading for the exit.

"Well, we can't say that we didn't warn him," Uthar said.

"I know, it's been forty entire minutes. I think he should actually be impressed at just how long it took for us to decide to leave," Yuthura agreed.

"I'd be even more impressed if you could pay even the slightest bit of attention to your surroundings and realize that I'm back before you decide you're bored," Revan spoke up.

"Actually, we decided we were bored about half an hour ago but then we were having a battle of wills to see who would give in and leave first," Yuthura explained. "Ultimately, we decided that that was wasting time and so just decided to leave together."

"Revan? You've returned in one piece, I see. Not that I'm particularly surprised," Uthar told him. "You are Revan, after all. Do you have the lightsaber?"

Revan nodded. "I do. And I don't mean to brag but…honestly, I could craft a better one in my sleep. As it happens, I'm nearly positive that I have done just that. Multiple times, in fact."

"Yes, yes, we're all aware of how special you are," Uthar said, a little annoyed. "Which is why I want you to kill my apprentice for me."

Yuthura drew back as if slapped. "You bastard! See, this kind of treachery is exactly why I want Revan to kill you for me instead!"

Revan blinked. "Not for nothing but…you two are the two heads of this Academy, right?"

"Right," Uthar confirmed.

"And I literally just passed the entrance exam," Revan continued.

"Well, you will once one of us is dead," Yuthura corrected.

"That makes this even more absurd!" Revan complained. "What kind of entrance exam is killing either the head of the Sith Academy or the second-in-command? If I can do that, why would I even need to attend the Academy in the first place?"

"Normally, I would concede that those are valid points," Uthar said seriously. "On the other hand…Revan!"

Revan sighed. "Now I see why Alek changed his name. Though after his accident there was no chance that people wouldn't recognize him no matter what he called himself."

"Who's Alek?" Uthar asked blankly.

Revan nodded in satisfaction. "Exactly. But aside from that…if you think I'm so awesome that I can do all of this for you then why did you make me go through your stupid entrance exam?"

"Because…reasons…" Uthar said shiftily.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Yuthura, don't you think that if you need someone else to kill your master for you then perhaps you're not ready to end your apprenticeship?"

Yuthura shrugged. "Who cares how the Sith are supposed to work? No one actually bothers killing their own master these days. In fact, I heard that you killed Uthar's master earlier today. At least I'm trying to ensure that mine dies now and doesn't come back in the future to inconvenience me with his presence. And besides, I'm only doing this since Uthar is clearly trying to kill me."

Uthar snorted. "Please. I'm only trying to kill you because you're out to get me. And as your master I'm not even required by the Sith to kill you personally."

"Not like you would even if you were," Yuthura shot back.

"So wait…this is all just one big misunderstanding?" Revan asked hopefully. "Does this mean that we can all-"

Yuthura and Uthar exchanged glances. "No."

"But…but I don't even care which of you wins!" Revan protested. "Can't I just stay out of it?"

"If you'd like, Yuthura and I can launch a suicide attack on you and then if a miracle occurs and you die we can settle our issues then," Uthar suggested.

"I don't like that plan," Revan announced.

"Well, you already promised that you'd help me, remember?" Yuthura prompted.

Revan thought back. "Oh, right, I did say that if I were being forced to choose which one of you to kill that I'd end up supporting you, didn't I?"

Uthar coughed. This was really not going the way that he had expected it to. Who would have thought that Revan would choose to side against the stronger opponent when no one was there to talk him into it (or, more accurately, pester him until he did) and he admitted that he didn't care about the outcome? Maybe he shouldn't have let Yuthura spend so much time with him..."You know, on the other hand, you're right. We've disregarded the traditions of the Sith for far too long and it's about time we begin to respect them. Besides, you're just a stranger so-"

"Too little, too late," Yuthura told him flatly as she swung her lightsaber at his head. Yuthura was nowhere near good enough to take Uthar on (the Sith really did weaken themselves by attacking and killing their masters before they had learned all they could but that was no longer Revan's concern) but fortunately for her, she had a reluctant Revan on her side.

Within a few minutes, Uthar lay dead at their feet.

"Well, that was easy," Yuthura said cheerfully. "I guess it pays to recruit the most powerful person you've ever met, huh?"

"Yeah, probably," Revan said vaguely. "Can I go now?"

Yuthura looked confused. "What, already?"

"Well what do you expect?" Revan demanded. "I just killed Uthar pretty much by myself so, no offense, I really don't think I could benefit all that much from enrolling in this Academy."

"I was actually kind of wondering whether you were going to attempt to redeem me or something," Yuthura prompted.

Revan shrugged. "Do you want to be redeemed? If so then, trust me, you do not need my help for that. And you probably should have asked Carth and totally-not-Bastila about that earlier."

"Making the decision yourself…" Yuthura trailed off with a sigh. "I just don't know. That doesn't sound very dramatic. I guess I'll just stay here and run this evil Sith Academy and hope that someone who actually cares about my soul will come by."

Revan stood unrepentant. "You had all the time in the world to talk to the others!"

"So how did it go?" Canderous asked once Revan had rejoined them on the Ebon Hawk and they were about to take off.

"It went okay, I guess," Revan replied. "Yuthura made me help kill Uthar and now she's running the Sith Academy and I got the Star Map so we can just go."

"You didn't manage to redeem her, then?" Bastila asked, disappointed.

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he hadn't even tried but that would just lead to annoyance on her part and perhaps on Carth's. Besides, attempting to redeem her would make him seem like a better person than he actually was. "No, she was too caught up in the dark side," Revan lied. "I should have killed her but if I had done that I would have been exposed and forced to slaughter my way through the Academy."

"I don't think Dustil left yet," Carth said, looking anxious.

"I understand," Bastila said, a little sadly.

"So where are we going next?" Revan asked, quickly changing the subject.

Carth looked a little surprised that Revan was at all interested but responded with, "I was thinking Kashyyyk. Manaan is one of the most tedious planets I've ever been to and they just have so many ridiculous laws…it's really best to just put that off as long as possible."

"I vote that we don't go to Kashyyyk," Zaalbar immediately disagreed. "In fact, I vote that we never go there. Ever."

"Well, that's not really an option…" Mission pointed out.

"See?" Carth said happily. "Zaalbar agrees with me!"

"How did you get 'Zaalbar agrees with me' from Mission saying 'that's not an option'?" Canderous wondered. "You don't even know if they were talking about this!"

"I know," Carth said confidently, albeit wrongly.

Revan groaned. "Does this mean I'm going to have to start dealing with your problems as well?"

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