Chapter Twenty-Five
Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.
Carth had had a mild panic attack and nearly flown them into a sun once he realized that he was the only one on board now with any intention of trying to keep Revan from falling to the dark side again and everyone else either didn't care or was actively working to make him even more amoral. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the fact that they had already been to Korriban, Jolee probably wouldn't have been able to talk him down. Nonetheless, Carth insisted on going absolutely everywhere with Revan until they got Bastila back even if he didn't speak Selkatha. The fact he couldn't bring himself to stay in the ship again put him in a rather foul mood as they exited the Ebon Hawk, especially since HK had refused to go with them once he heard the words 'strictly enforced neutrality' (though Carth had to admit that that was probably for the best). They quickly encountered a member of the Republic army arguing with a Sith.
"Stop staring at me!" the Republic guy shouted. "You know that if you use your evil Sith evilness to kill me by sight alone then you'll totally get kicked off the planet!"
"For the love of-!" the Sith protested. "Just what do you think we Sith are?"
"Monsters!" the Republic declared.
"I just joined up because I have a family to support and Malak pays better," the Sith told him. "Medical bills aren't cheap, you know, and the added taxes to pay for this was are just more than I can afford!"
"Well…I didn't mean to…I just…you're a Sith!" Republic said helplessly.
"I'm just going to leave now," the Sith decided coolly before spinning on his heels and walking away.
"Damned neutrality," the Republic soldier grumbled under his breath. "If it weren't for this I could have just shot him and not had to have him make me feel like a jackass."
"Maybe the problem of you feeling like a jackass lies with you and not with the fact you're not allowed to go around randomly killing people," Mission suggested.
"Them's fighting words," the Republic guy said, all fired up.
"Not on Manaan," Zaalbar pointed out.
The guy slumped. "Oh, right."
"Even this guy can understand him!" Carth cried out incredulously. "This is so unfair."
"Maybe instead of complaining about how unfair it is that everyone else has taken the time to learn my language, you should consider taking the time to learn my language. It might actually save you time in the end," Zaalbar suggested.
"He thinks you're racist," Mission loosely translated.
"Well, yes, but not what I said," Zaalbar replied.
"You know, if you were really dedicated to the cause then you should have just let him kill you and then allowed your sacrifice to get the Republic a monopoly on Kolto," Canderous said, unimpressed.
The Republic soldier glared at him. "Not helping. I just joined up because I thought they'd have a cool uniform anyway. Unfortunately…they didn't. I really should have done some more research before signing that contract."
"You should see what the Sith are wearing," Revan spoke up. "It's pretty amazing."
"I know, right?" Republic gushed. "I am so jealous!"
"The Republic should really let me design their outfits," Revan mused.
"You'd probably make them evil," Carth said disdainfully.
"Really? An evil outfit?" Zaalbar asked skeptically.
"I'm sure it's possible," Jolee said diplomatically. "But Revan would probably have the sense not to do that. The Sith outfits aren't evil after all."
"The Star Forge makes evil outfits," Revan told them. "But, well, the good outfits are just really really hideous and so everyone wears them anyway. Although none of the evil outfits are as nice as that one evil outfit that I have."
"Do the evil outfits actually turn people evil?" Carth demanded.
Revan looked surprised. "I don't know. I don't feel like it's turned me evil."
"Well you're not reliable or objective even if I could trust that you weren't lying," Carth accused.
"Then why even ask me in the first place?" Revan wondered aloud.
Carth ignored that. "Can only evil people wear evil outfits?"
"That doesn't even make any sense," Revan said, rolling his eyes. "How would things like alignment or specialization or dexterity or anything else prevent you from putting on a piece of equipment? Maybe for some things you might not be able to use the equipment as well but it's not like you try to put the evil robes on and there's this invisible wall stopping your or something if you're not evil enough."
"Then how do you know that they're evil?" Jolee asked reasonably.
Carth seized on that. "Yes! Exactly!"
Revan thought about that. "Um…well, it's just a feeling you get, you know? Definitely evil."
"And that doesn't bother you?" Jolee asked.
"Of course it doesn't," Carth scoffed. "He's evil!"
"Very few things bother me to the point that I'll do something about them," Revan replied. "And I'm very fashion-conscious. I'm used to it anyway."
"And seeing as how I'm not Force sensitive, I wouldn't know an evil feeling if I were wearing something right now that emanates it," Carth declared. He looked down worriedly. "I'm not, am I?"
"You're not," Revan assured him.
Carth glared at him. "Well I don't actually believe you because you're evil."
Revan shrugged. "Suit yourself."
"Look, do you guys actually need anything or can I just go?" Republic asked, annoyed.
"You can just go," Mission told him. "I don't know why you even had to wait for us to dismiss you but…"
Grateful, he all but ran away from them.
"Why does that keep happening?" Mission wondered.
Once Revan had blatantly abused the Force in order to get out of paying a docking fee yet again, they entered Ahto City and found yet another group of Republic soldiers and Sith bickering with each other…or rather a designated spokesperson from each side were arguing.
"What do you think you're playing at, giving a sizeable donation to the Selkaths' 'Keep our kids in school' foundation?" the Republic soldier demanded.
"Oh, so now we're so evil that we can't even donate to a good cause without that being called into question?" the Sith challenged.
"Frankly…yes!" the Republic soldier insisted. "And what's all this nonsense about 'now'? You never could!"
"Look, we just needed another tax deductable and it seemed like a good cause? What's the matter with that?" the Sith asked, exasperated.
"The problem is that everyone knows that you have to do good deeds for selfless reasons or else it doesn't count and you're evil!" the Republic soldier cried out.
"I really think that if you want more good deeds done, you should really relax your 'it must be selfless or it doesn't count' policy," Jolee suggested. "In fact, if you keep advocating that you might see a sharp drop in the number of good deeds we have being done now."
"I know better than you do, Jedi!" the Republic soldier cried out. "It's not like you're part of an order dedicated to selflessly serving the galaxy or anything!"
"Well, you've got me there," Jolee said, shrugging.
"Was that sarcastic, were you denying being a Jedi, or were you saying that the Jedi aren't selfless?" Revan wondered.
"Yes," Jolee replied, nodding.
"And now I remember why I joined the Sith: they are led by a man who views everyone as disposable and thinks killing your superior is a great way to get a promotion but they are far saner than you guys," the Sith declared.
"Alright, break it up, break it up…" a Selkath official said, finally deigning to get involved. "The last one to leave has to pay the fine for disturbance of the peace!"
Needless to say, the area was cleared in a matter of seconds.
"Jolee!" a middle-aged woman cried as she ran up to them.
"Elora?" Jolee asked surprised. "You look upset."
"I am!" Elora cried out. "It's terrible! My husband was having an affair with a Sith girl and now he's on trial for her murder!"
"That must be so hard for you," Jolee said sympathetically. "Well, if that's all-"
"No, it's not all!" Elora interrupted. "His legally-appointed Selkath lawyer is horrible at his job! He wants Sunry to just plead guilty and to say that he acted completely alone and that the Republic had nothing to do with it so that he can get a reduced sentence and the Republic won't lose its supply of Kolto!"
"…That actually sounds like the best option in this case," Carth opined.
"Sunry will never do it," Elora explained. "He's a big war hero, you see, and he's determined that if he's going down he's going to take the Republic down with him."
"Wow, this guy kind of sounds like an ass," Mission remarked. "And I think I'm going to have to question the 'hero' part of his 'war hero' description. I mean, you don't get to be the hero if you're willing to screw over everyone else for your selfish murdering ways."
"What?" Elora demanded. "You don't think that's a perfectly reasonable position to take?"
"Not really, no," Zaalbar disagreed.
"Well… no one asked you," Elora sniffed.
"Actually, you just did," Zaalbar pointed out.
"Wait, so even she can understand him?" Carth couldn't believe it. "I so hate my life."
"It could be worse," Revan told him with a shrug.
"I don't need to hear that from you," Carth moaned.
"Would it make you feel better if I mocked your pain?" Revan asked him.
"Actually, yes," Carth told him. "Because then at least I would feel vindicated about my hatred of you and belief that you're evil."
"You're not feeling vindicated now?" Revan asked, surprised.
Carth glared at him.
Revan coughed. "I mean, um, ha ha ha. Puny Republic and his puny racist pain."
"That's better," Carth said, satisfied.
"Anyway, can one of you serve as our new lawyer?" Elora entreated.
"So you feel that your legal representation is so substandard that you'd rather hire strangers off the street?" Canderous asked skeptically.
"Well, it's not like I don't know Jolee and I wouldn't say 'hire' so much but…yes," Elora confirmed.
"Revan?" Jolee asked hopefully.
Revan yawned. "I would but I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to take a nap."
"Carth?" Jolee tried.
Carth hesitated. "Is he actually guilty?"
"Of course he's guilty," Elora told him. "Now…will you help get him off?"
"He murdered his lover!" Carth exclaimed, appalled.
Elora shrugged. "So? She was just a Sith. How many Sith have you killed, anyway? Are you sure that you want to start down this dark road where we consider Sith to be actual people?"
"I've killed them in fair combat," Carth countered, not answering that question because he did not – in fact – consider Sith to be people. "And not in a personal matter where it's more murder than warfare."
"Does that mean you won't help?" Elora asked, disappointed.
"Mission? Zaalbar? Canderous? T3?" Jolee asked, looking a little desperate.
"I'm not legally old enough," Mission said apologetically.
"What are the odds everyone there could understand me?" Zaalbar asked reasonably.
"Justice is much simpler when you just shoot the guilty party," Canderous announced.
T3 apparently also had better things to do.
Jolee sighed. "Ah, fine, whatever. I suppose he really is my friend, after all…damn social obligations…"
"I would love to help you," the official representative of the Republic Embassy Roland Wann told them. "Unfortunately-"
"Great, when do we leave?" Revan cut him off, hoping to avoid having to help him in turn.
"The minute you break into the Sith base and retrieve an illegal droid that we had that the Sith captured which has information so sensitive that should the Sith turn it over to the Selkath we'll get kicked off this planet, lose access to Kolto, and thus lose the war," Roland said flatly.
"You guys have got to stop doing things that will get you kicked off this planet, especially if you're going to keep getting on the verge of being caught and thus kicked off the planet because of them," Mission said, shaking her head. "I mean, I'm no expert on how to conduct a war or anything but come on."
"Yeah, I don't like that plan," Revan told him. "How about you let my friends go down there now and I'll go get your droid back?"
Carth looked shocked. "Really, Revan? You're actually…volunteering to do something?"
Revan shrugged. "If it gets me out of having to go down there and look for a Star Map, why not?"
"I'm not sure I trust you to be on your own like that," Carth said disapprovingly. "What if you defect to the Sith?"
"Carth, having someone as clearly pro-Republic with me is probably going to get me caught," Revan pointed out. "As for me converting…well, you'll just have to take that chance."
"I guess that would save time," Roland agreed. "But just so you know, I'm not letting your friends out of this Embassy until you get back with the droid."
"Chances are, I'll be fine," Revan told him. "And I may even get an opportunity to take a nap."
Revan really didn't want to have to do this by himself but with HK refusing to leave the ship, Jolee busy playing lawyer, and Carth, Mission, Zaalbar, Canderous, and T3 off at the bottom of the ocean, he didn't really have much choice. After his nap, he leisurely strolled towards the Sith base.
"What's the password?" the guard asked.
"Let me into the base," Revan said, looking him straight in the eye.
"That is not actually the password but I think I'll let you in anyway," the guard said, standing aside to let Revan pass.
"Hey, who are you and what are you doing here?" a security officer right in the middle of the first room Revan came to demanded.
"Excellent question. Here's a better one: Where is that secret Republic droid?" Revan asked.
Dazed, the woman gave him directions and then wished him a nice day.
Revan frowned. He'd been walking around the base for nearly three-quarters of an hour and he was starting to suspect he was lost.
"Help me!" a dying Selkath pleaded.
Revan looked around automatically for Bastila or Carth to order him to do so. Oh, right. And thinking about Bastila was something he was trying to avoid doing. "Do you know where the Republic droid is?"
"Of course I do," the Selkath said between violent coughs. "But if I'm dead then that won't help you at all."
"So if I heal you, you'll tell me where it is?" Revan asked hopefully.
"I'll take you there myself," the Selkath promised.
Revan knelt down beside the dying Selkath and called upon the Force to bring him back from the verge of death.
"Okay, now that that's done, can we go find that droid?" Revan asked.
"Oh, sure," the Selkath promised. "Of course, we're going to have to walk by the room that my friends are in on our way there. Do you think we have time to stop by and let them know that the Sith are evil and tried to torture me to death because they don't think I'm good enough for them and apparently have never heard of just firing someone?"
Revan shrugged. "So long as I don't have to do anything."
They walked in silence for awhile before the Selkath darted into a room containing several other Selkath kids.
"Hey, where you been?" one of the other Selkath asked him.
"The Sith just tried to torture me to death. I never thought I'd say this but…maybe they might actually be evil," Revan's Selkath said conspiratorially.
"Really?" the first asked skeptically. "I thought that was just something the elders told us so that we wouldn't get awesome new uniforms."
"That's what I thought, too!" Revan's Selkath exclaimed. "But then they were so kind as to hand me a datapad full of incriminating evidence about how evil they are and how they intend to brainwash us and kidnap other Selkath to force into becoming Sith right before they started torturing me. See?" He handed the others the datapad.
"…Well, now I feel rather silly," one of the Selkath said. "Let's get out of here."
"But won't we get in trouble?" another Selkath asked uncertainly.
"Not if we claim that we were some of the kidnapped Selkath," the first replied.
"Great, now that that's settled, can we go get the droid?" Revan asked impatiently.
"Oh, sure," the Selkath nodded. "It's right across the hall. Hurry up and get its memory and then you can follow us out."
How thoughtful. Revan decided he kind of liked the Selkath after all. All of their laws were still kind of stupid, though.
After Revan got out of the base, he decided that he wasn't quite tired enough for another nap and the others weren't back yet so he might as well become a swooping legend on Manaan. In the middle of becoming the most talented swooprider they had ever seen, a Selkath approached him and paid him a vast sum of money for 'rescuing' the Selkath children. Today had been a pretty good day.
"Today was the worst day I have ever had!" Carth complained as he and the others (and Jolee who had apparently caught up with them before they reached him) made their way to Revan's table.
"Those stupid sharks that could kill a man by poking him!" Mission griped. "I mean, in some cases where their tail barely brushed past you I don't think they even realized that you were there! And it's instant death! What is that? I don't even…"
"And it took forever to move in those suits!" Canderous added.
"Those mad scientists kept trying to kill us and don't even get me started about all the insane Selkath!" Zaalbar contributed.
T3 added something about everyone else being utterly helpless without him and how droids were not meant to go underwater.
"And all of those environmental lectures we had to listen to on the way up…" Canderous trailed off, shaking his head. "The ride was four hours both ways!"
They all looked expectantly at Jolee and Revan.
Revan shrugged. "I didn't have much trouble."
"Big surprise there," Mission murmured.
"And I discovered that if I just used the Force while saying that Sunry was completely innocent then everyone would listen," Jolee said proudly. "Too bad I spent all that time and effort bribing witness…"
Carth looked horrified. "Oh, not another one!"
"It happens to the best of us," Revan said consolingly as he patted Jolee on the shoulder. "Did you at least use the Force to get your money back?"
Jolee nodded. "Naturally. Just because I wasted all day on this damn trial doesn't mean that I'm going to lose out on any money because of it."
"And Elora…really doesn't mind that her husband was sleeping with a Sith and then murdered her?" Carth asked uncertainly. "Because I gotta tell you, I'm fairly certain that Morgana would have had just a bit of a problem with me doing, well, any of that."
Jolee shrugged. "Sunry and Elora have always been just a bit…unconventional. I did the same thing when my wife turned out to be a Sith. Wait…did I kill her? I don't remember…but I definitely remember the part where she was a Sith."
"Hopefully not when you married her," Carth said, perturbed.
Jolee shrugged again. "No idea. I hope not, though. I mean, I had enough crap to deal with for just getting married. Or at least I would have if the council wasn't out of its damn mind."
"Are we all ready to get the hell off of this Force-forsaken planet?" Carth asked.
That was a mad dash for the Ebon Hawk and Revan surprised everyone by being the first one aboard. Apparently they had underestimated his hatred of Manaan, despite the fact he'd been complaining about having to go there ever since he found out that he would actually have to go there.
As Carth took off, Revan went into the cockpit in order to pester him.
"So that's it, then?" Revan demanded. "We are absolutely done searching for the Force-damned Star Maps?"
"Yes, Revan, we are done looking for the Star Maps," Carth confirmed.
"So this means that we can head to…wherever it is that the Star Maps are located?" Revan pressed. "No more detours, no more pointless personal problems that need to be resolved, no more being captured by the Sith?"
"Yes to all of those, particularly the last one if we're lucky," Carth agreed. "I've put all the Star Maps together. Funny story, we probably could have gotten to the right system even without that last map…"
Carth gulped at the murderous rage in Revan's eyes.
"So, uh, now that that's done with we just have to go to this completely uncharted system of stars and hope that we'll find something there that tells us what to do because I have to admit that once we get there I have no idea what we're doing," Carth confessed. "Do you?"
Revan nodded. "Sure."
Carth waited. "…Can you tell me what's going to happen?"
"There will be a disruptor beam on the planet we emerge by that, if it's working, will cause us to crash land. We'll need to deal with the Rakata who built the Star Forge in the first place and deal with their minor civil war in order to get past the force fields and turn off the disruptor. I kind of maybe sort of totally betrayed them last time so they won't be too eager to help. The Star Forge should be in plain sight once we get off the planet, though," Revan informed him.
Carth groaned. "Why can't anything ever be easy?"
Revan stared at him. "But…it is. I mean, I'm still probably not going to do anything but I wouldn't call it difficult, no."
"I miss Bastila…" Carth muttered.
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