Chapter Twenty-Six
Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.
"Okay," Carth announced. "I see a giant spaceship-factory thing and I'm going to assume that that's the Star Forge. I've also sent the coordinates to the Republic. Is Malak aboard that thing? And what about Bastila?"
Revan nodded. "They are and you're right, that is the Star Forge."
"Do you…remember the Star Forge?" Carth asked hesitantly. "I mean, how bad is your memory damage, anyway? Do you even have memory damage?"
Revan merely blinked at him.
Carth sighed. "I should have known you wouldn't give a straight answer. Fine. Can you tell me anything else?"
"Bastila's kind of turned evil," Revan volunteered. "And let me tell you, I am really not happy about this turn of events in case you were wondering. Which, knowing you, you probably were."
Carth's eyes widened. "Wait, what? What did this happen?"
"I presume Malak's been torturing her, depriving her of food, water, and sleep, and giving her some of his better lectures on the merits of joining the dark side," Revan responded.
Carth looked a little sick. "Poor Bastila…we've got to do something. We really can't go in until the Republic shows up, though, and that won't be for another eight hours or so and so we'll need something to do in the meantime. I don't see any sign of your-"
Revan covered Carth's mouth with his hand and within seconds the ship started to shake and plummet towards the planet.
"Revan!" Carth said angrily after he finally managed to free himself. "What was that for?"
"You were about to say that you didn't see any sign of my disruptor beam, right?" Revan asked patiently. "Even if it really isn't my disruptor beam, per se."
"Yeah," Carth admitted. "And that explains your actions because…?"
"I thought it would be cliché if just as you were saying that, we managed to get caught in it," Revan explained. "And so I took steps to avoid this happening."
"Well…that was thoughtful, I guess," Carth said awkwardly. "What now?"
"Angry pronouncement: Meatbag, your piloting has always been substandard but this is absolutely unacceptable!" HK declared as he walked into the cockpit followed by the rest of their group.
"Hey, what do you mean ' substandard'?" Carth demanded.
"Pointed insult: I was not aware that you were so stupid as to not know what 'substandard' means but given that stunning example of how not to fly the ship, I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised," HK replied.
"Revan, don't take this the wrong way but I kind of hate your droid," Carth told him bluntly.
Revan looked confused. "What? Why?"
"Were you even listening to him?" Carth demanded, annoyed.
Revan nodded. "Of course: he said that he was concerned about the crash."
"He phrased it rather differently than that," Carth said pointedly.
Revan shrugged. "What, was I supposed to quote him or something? And if I did, would I need to add his descriptive phrases like 'angry pronouncement'?"
"Hey, why do you have him do that?" Mission asked curiously.
"I got the idea from this species I met in the Outer Rim called the Elcor," Revan answered. "They spoke in a monotone so added descriptive phrases so non-Elcor could get some insight into their emotions. I thought it was amusing and it annoyed Malak after about five minutes so I decided to program that into HK."
"Don't take this the wrong way but sometimes I wonder why, exactly, it took so long for Malak to turn on you," Zaalbar remarked, shaking his head.
"I guess he just couldn't be bothered," Revan theorized.
Canderous laughed. "Malak isn't you, Revan."
"And thank the Force for that," Jolee spoke up. "I do not think the galaxy is ready for more than one Revan."
"Um, guys?" Carth said. "According to Revan we need to meet up with some Ratakan-"
"Rakatan," Revan corrected.
"Right, them," Carth said vaguely. "We need to meet with them and convince them to let us turn off the disruptor beam so we can get off of this planet before the Republic comes and they all crash. We also need to fix the ship so I propose we split up."
"Brilliant idea, Carth," Revan declared. "I'll stay here and supervise the ship-fixing."
"Oh, no you don't," Carth said firmly. "The Ratakan know you and so you have to go meet with them. Besides, we don't speak their language, remember?"
"Well, you certainly don't," Zaalbar muttered.
"I did mention the part about betraying them, right?" Revan asked. "Some people can really hold a grudge and it might be easier without me."
"Easier for you, maybe," Mission clarified.
Revan nodded again. "Yes, Mission, that is exactly what I meant."
"Most people would be sarcastic when they said that," Mission noted, "but not Revan."
"So what do you propose then?" Jolee asked.
"Revan needs to go to the Rataken because he knows them, I need to go because I don't trust Revan by himself, and Jolee needs to go because he's our only other Force user," Carth began. "Between T3, HK, Canderous, Mission, and Zaalbar, we need the ship to be fixed. Anyone not working on the ship can come with us, I suppose."
"Desperate insistence: I am going with you! I haven't killed anything since the Leviathan and I think I'm going into withdrawal!" HK cried out.
"If there is killing to be done, I will be doing it," Canderous said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "If I'm needed to fix the ship, I'll get to work the minute we kill everything we're planning on killing."
"Big Z and I know a little about mechanics," Mission offered. "I guess we can help."
T3 beeped to offer his assistance which made everyone feel a lot better as he sounded much more like he knew what he was talking about. He beeped again.
Revan flinched. "T3! I-is that really necessary?"
"What did he say?" Carth demanded.
"H-he said…he said…" Revan began shakily.
"Yes?" Carth prompted encouragingly.
"He said that if Revan comes back evil or doesn't come back at all then he's going to take the news very badly and will probably be forced to wipe his own memory for the first time ever so that he forgets about the pain," Canderous revealed.
"Jealous muttering: bloody drama queen…" HK murmured.
"Honestly, Carth, you don't speak Shyriiwook, you don't speak droid, you don't speak Selkatha…what does the Republic teach you?" Mission demanded.
"Certainly not piloting," Jolee deadpanned.
"Hey!"
"Don't do it, T3!" Revan begged, completely ignoring Carth's predicament. "That's like droid-suicide! You have so much to live for!"
T3 beeped something else.
"I promise, I won't!" Revan said earnestly.
"Well…I guess that's one way to keep Revan on our side," Carth said dryly. "Appeal to his droid fetish."
"Revan!" the One – leader of the more primitive off-shoot cult of the Rakata – cried out. He did not look pleased.
"Hi," Revan said shortly.
"Don't 'hi' me," the One said angrily. "You promised me that you'd kill off the Elders for me twenty years ago and I'm still waiting!"
"Oh come on, it was not twenty years ago!" Revan argued.
"Okay, fine, maybe it was only three," the One admitted. "But they're still not dead. Now, do you have any intention of killing the Elders for us?"
"That sounds like a lot of work and since Malak isn't here to make me do it, Jolee doesn't actually seem to care, and Carth can't use the Force to totally cheat and understand other languages-" Revan started to say.
"Hey!" Jolee objected.
"Well, you are totally doing just that," Revan said unrepentantly.
"Look who's talking!" Jolee shot back.
"Oh, you did not just go there," Revan said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I learned all these languages manually!"
"Even the sand people language?" Jolee challenged.
"…There was no other possible way I could have learned it!" Revan protested. "Be fair."
"And how exactly, hiding out in Kashyyyk for twenty years after being a Jedi most of my life, was I supposed to learn Rakatan?" Jolee inquired.
"You could have asked me to teach you," Revan pointed out.
"And would you have?" Jolee demanded.
Revan was silent for a moment. "…Point."
"Um, Revan?" the One spoke up. "Perhaps you could finish answering whether or not you're actually going to do what you promised or at least pretend to do it so we can get on with it?"
"What? Oh, right. No, I won't kill the Elders for you," Revan told him.
"Then you will die!" the One screeched. "To arms, men!"
"Revan, what did you do?" Carth shouted as the Rakatan began to attack them. "I thought you were a better diplomat than that!"
Revan shrugged. "What? The Elders would have just made us come back and kill them anyway in exchange for their help. I'm saving time."
"Do we even want to know why there were a few dozen Mandalorians and some Rancor here?" Jolee wondered aloud. "Not to mention the Gizka…"
"The Mandalorian empire was very far-reaching before Revan defeated us," Canderous bragged.
"Not quite that far-reaching," Carth reminded him smugly.
A hologram of a Rakatan appeared before them as they got near the Elder compound.
Canderous looked intrigued. "Is it just me or could this electrical fencing absolutely kill us if they don't like what they're saying?"
"Pleased confirmation: Most certainly and I'm impressed that you noticed that," HK, who had actually been here before, replied.
"Ah, Revan. It's been…three years. Have you killed the One and his band of renegades yet?" the Elder inquired politely.
"We just did that now," Revan affirmed. "What, didn't that Rakatan we rescued say something about that?"
"He did," the Elder acknowledged. "But he's also been tortured for several weeks so we're taking everything he says with a grain of salt. If this is really true, though, then come on in. I'm sure our leader would be thrilled to finally get a chance to thank you for this."
The hologram faded away and the door opened.
Carth tensed, preparing for a fight.
Jolee gave him a strange look. "Calm down, Carth. You wouldn't want to start something."
Carth choked. "Me? You don't want me to start something? What about Revan?"
"Suspicious inquiry: What about him?" HK demanded, cocking his gun.
Carth coughed. "Nothing, nothing…"
Once inside they were led to the leader of the Rakatan.
"And so we meet once again, Revan," the Elder leader greeted him. "I confess, I had rather hoped you would have killed the One and his ilk three years ago but at least it's done now. You have my eternal thanks and, knowing you, I'm going to assume that you want something."
"So let me get this straight…they'll let you in but only by yourself since they're annoyed you took too damn long to kill off their rivals," Carth said flatly. "And you won't use the Force to convince them to let me in because…?"
"Because there's really no point," Revan informed him. "Only those that are Force-sensitive can enter and despite your son's abilities, you do not qualify."
"But earlier you said that evil Bastila is waiting on the roof for you," Carth protested.
"Telling him that probably wasn't the brightest move," Jolee commented.
"What? He asked me whose ship we saw landing and I answered before I thought about the negative ramifications of that decision," Revan said defensively.
"Hence this conversation," Jolee said pointedly.
"Well, you can't go in there alone," Carth said firmly. "And that's final."
"Why is the worst fighter here who isn't even Force-sensitive and can't fly properly the one making the decisions that we actually listen to?" Canderous wondered.
"Because Revan's in charge and Carth's good at nagging so it's easier for him to give in," Jolee replied.
"Your lack of trust is really biting, Carth," Revan said, looking wounded.
"Just try and not tell me that it isn't fully justified," Carth challenged. "The only reason you didn't join Malak back on the Leviathan was because I pointed out how much wasted effort that would have been."
"That wasn't the only reason," Revan said unconvincingly.
"If I can't go then I can't go," Carth said resignedly. "But still, Revan simply cannot be allowed to go in and meet his evil girlfriend who has had some success in persuading him of things in the past by herself." He snapped his fingers suddenly. "Jolee!"
"What?" Jolee asked, jerking to attention.
"You'll go into the temple with Revan, won't you?" Carth asked eagerly.
"Are you sure you want me to?" Jolee asked, surprised. "I mean, I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue over here. I killed my evil Sith wife and recently got a shamelessly guilty man off for killing his evil Sith girlfriend and blatantly bribed my witnesses."
"Well yeah but, unlike Revan, you've never actually become a Sith," Carth pointed out. "I figure there must be some reason for that even if it's only because I'm sure the uniforms before Revan took over were substandard."
"Amused remark: Oh, now he knows what 'substandard' means," HK commented.
"I like the word 'Jedi' more than 'Sith'," Jolee confided. "That's why I call myself a grey Jedi. Those red lightsabers are an eyesore and purple ones are just too trendy. Also, I pride myself on always being on the side of an argument that is against the killing of babies and even though I've never heard anyone actually argue this viewpoint, I'm pretty sure that if anyone did it would be the Sith."
"Well…I suppose that's something," Carth said slowly. "So…will you do it?"
Jolee sighed. "Do I have to?"
"Yes," Carth said firmly. "Or I will spend the entire time that Revan is in their potentially turning evil and you're out here lecturing you about how you're failing your duty to the galaxy out of laziness."
"You know, I'm right here guys," Revan reminded them. "Honestly, this is quite unnecessary. I couldn't possibly even think of doing anything or else T3 is going to kill himself, remember?"
"Fine," Jolee grumbled, ignoring him. "Revan, if you would…?"
Revan rolled his eyes but approached the Rakatan in charge of the ceremony to allow them into the temple. "My friend is coming in as well."
"I still can't believe that you actually admitted that we're friends," Jolee said yet again.
"Why do you keep saying that?" Revan asked. "It's getting kind of annoying."
"Sorry about that but…this is huge! Have you actually admitted to being friends with anyone else in our group?"
Revan considered that. "I…don't think so but I'm not positive."
"Given what your old best friend did to you, I suppose that's not surprising," Jolee continued. "And did you see the look on Carth and Canderous' faces once HK translated for them? They could not be more jealous. I'm honored, humbled, and paradoxically kind of smug that I've helped you get past your friendship issues enough to not only secretly consider me a friend – which I've suspected all along – but to actually openly acknowledge it."
"It's just a word, Jolee," Revan said tiredly. "And it rolled off the tongue easier than 'my companion' or 'this man with me'."
"Deny it all you like, Revan, we all know the truth," Jolee said proudly.
"Did I hear someone say 'Revan'?" a female voice demanded, poking her head into the room. Her eyes widened. "I did, didn't I? Hey guys, come on!"
"This looks promising," Jolee said with a smile as two more girls joined her. The smile disappeared when three guys showed up as well. "And…that looks decidedly less so."
"Don't judge," Revan snapped. "I mean, it's not but you still shouldn't judge. It's not the Jedi way."
"Revan, you've got to be the only Jedi I know that is actually worse than me," Jolee pointed out. "And as such, I am suitably chastened."
"You made us wait for you for three years!" one of the dark Jedi accused. "What is wrong with you? Did you just forget about us? I thought we meant more to you than that!"
Revan looked honestly confused. "You did? I'm sorry, I don't know how I managed to give you that impression but there is very little in this universe that I care about and none of you actually make the list."
"Except me!" Jolee broke in brightly.
"So Revan doesn't care about us and leaves us to practically starve in this temple for three years, probably forgetting about us and then when he does return, he brings someone that he actually does care about to rub our faces in it?" another dark Jedi summarized. "Let's get him!"
To Revan and Jolee's great surprise, the six turned as one and began to attack Jolee instead of Revan.
"A little help here?" Jolee implored as he hastily fended off some well-placed blows.
"Oh, I wouldn't want to interrupt," Revan said innocently.
Jolee took the time to glare at Revan but, since he was ducking, it looked rather less-than-impressive. "I hate you."
Revan looked sad. "Aw, and here I thought that we were friends!"
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