AN: The good news is finals are done. The bad is I will be out of town December 31st- January 2nd, I will not have my computer and I will try to post a new chapter before I leave.

Thanks to all the reviewers. I can't believe I have 430 reviews.

Ok I own nothing… now onto the chapter.

~31~

EPOV- Tuesday December 21st

"So Edward, I see you've been keeping a journal like I asked." Dr. Greenway says just as I sit down in her office. "Has it been helping?"

I don't know how it's supposed to help me. I think to myself, but I don't say this out loud. Instead I tell her how it's helping me writing down every horrific dream, memory, and thought. So I could easily relive it when I look back at the journal.

"Edward would you mind sharing a page or two of your journal with me, I would like to see what kind of progress you are making." I couldn't believe her as she asks that question. Did she truly believe that I was going to share this with her, with anyone?

"Um, I rather not. I don't want it to be read." I shyly say before she nods her head and moves on to asking more questions.

Our session goes by quickly and I exit her office in search of my dad who insists on driving me all the time to therapy.

"Edward, over here." I hear a voice call my name and I quickly look over.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I walk over to the coffee machine he's standing next to, currently drinking the bad coffee from it.

"What? I can't give you a ride home?" He says faking being hurt by my reaction.

"I was just expecting dad not you." I say as he swings one of his arms around me and guides me out to his car, thankful that his arm around me no longer makes me shake.

"Yeah, well I thought we could hang some. Rosie is working and Alice and mom are baking Christmas cookies that we're not allowed to touch." He says as we get into his car "And I kind of need help shopping and I know you still have gifts to buy so I thought hey, brother Christmas shopping bonding is in store. What do you say?"

"Ok let's go." I say as he starts up his car and we speed off to get to the mall to shop.

We get there around 4:30 and we immediately rummage through the stores. Emmett's sticking close to me, because of all the people shopping and making me nervous.

Shopping took us forever around and 7:30 we decide to head home.

"Why do you keep lying?" Emmett asks when we are both in the car.

"Um, I don't, what do you mean?" I say wondering where this is coming from.

"Don't play dumb, my room is right across from yours." He says slightly raising his voice. "I hear you, do you know that? I hear you talking at night when you think no one is around. You are pushing us all away. Do you know Jasper is my best friend and I think he is in love with you? And you I don't even know what you are thinking anymore. You were coming out of your shell and doing great now it just looks like an act. Gosh Edward can't you see we all care for you? That we all love you."

By the end of his little rant, there are tear flowing down my face as I refuse to look at him.

"Look Edward I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, it's just. You need to let it out don't hold it in." He gently pulls my face up to look at him and I can see his own tears silently flowing. "I kept all my thoughts to myself and it was almost too late for me. I tried to kill myself, because I couldn't handle this. He says pointing to his scar."

"I'm scared." I say no louder than a whisper.

"Talk to me?" his tone matches my own.

"Your scar was an accident; she didn't mean to leave you with a scar. Mine, my scars, they are all from times when I was bad. The punishments weren't the beatings I received. My punishments came in the form of scars, scars that will never fade, scars that I must see every day." I took a short calming breath before continuing. "My sleeping pills don't work anymore. I still dream, I'm not seeing my past I'm seeing random stuff like driving and crashing and then all of a sudden he's there laughing at me telling me I'm his. I can't escape him. Sometimes when someone touches me from behind I think for a moment it's him. I'm afraid I'm damaged beyond repair and that once Jasper realizes that he'll leave and find someone whole, someone pure. And I'm afraid even Dad and Esme will leave me along with Alice and you, and I'll be alone. I, I don't want to be alone."

"You are not alone Edward. Dad and mom love you, so does Alice she's so happy to have another member of the family that she can tell what to wear." He pauses as he wipes a tear from my face. "And I love you, you're my brother."

I don't say anything as I pull him into a hug.

I'm not sure how long we say there hugging.

But I do know it felt nice, knowing that someone cares.

The drive home was spent in comfortable silence with the radio softly playing.

Alice was sitting on the couch when we got home. Emmett and I both had our arms full of Christmas presents.

"Edward, Emmett, I'm so glad you're home." She says making it sound like we have been gone for weeks.

"We had some left over cookies, help yourself." She says as she goes out to grab some more bags.

"Hey they're already wrapped." Alice yells from outside. Making Emmett laugh.

"Told you we had better wrap them before coming home." He says as we place the gifts under the tree.

"Yeah even though I told her what I was getting some people." I say as we each grab a sugar cookie.

"Yeah me too." He says laughing as he turns on the TV.

AN: SO who all thought it was Jasper who was picking Edward up from his therapy session?

Yes this is shorter that my other ones but it was very hard to write. If I get at least 11 reviews by tomorrow night I may post the next one (tomorrow night) that will have a flash back of the date Edward took Jasper on. And will possibly also have Christmas on it :) If not then I will post the next chapter probably next Thursday night.