AN: Thanks for all the reviews. Merry Christmas, this is a short chapter, but it is Christmas.

~34~

EPOV-

He was coming closer; stalking me like a predator would stock his prey. Part of me welcomed it; part of me loved the way my body shivered with lust.

"Love you look so perfect sitting there." I hear him say, just before I pull him towards me and we fall back onto the bed.

My heart rate quickens as I noticed that he is on top of me. Trying to chase my demons away I deepen the kiss just as I feel his cock gently pushing against my own and just like that a moan of pure pleasure escapes us both as I start to come undone.

I don't know what happened.

One moment it was Jasper above me, the next it was Phil, smiling down at me and I had to get away.

It wasn't till I was in the bathroom that I realized what I had done, I had pushed him away from me, I had pushed Jasper the man I love away from me.

That's when I broke down, falling to the floor and hugging my knees I couldn't stop the tears as I thought about the only thing that was going to happen now. Jasper would notice just how screwed up I am.

"Edward?" I hear Jasper cry out to me. "Edward, I'm sorry please, are you ok?" I could hear him on the other side of the door waiting for me to open it.

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom before rising from my spot on the floor and opening the door for him.

"Edward?" He asks not even wanting to come any closer to me because of how ruined I am and I couldn't help it as I started to cry.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to. But um…" I'm unable to go on and sobs overtake my body, how was I to tell him I didn't want to loose him?

That's when I felt his arms around me. "It's ok Edward, nothing is your fault. I knew better than that." I couldn't believe his words as he held me as I cried.

"Don't leave me." I practically cry out when Jasper lets go of me.

"I won't, I'm not…" He says encircling me in his arms again.

My heart beat quickens as he kisses my neck.

"We should probably get going, don't you think? The family will be waiting for us."

I didn't speak still not trusting my voice as I nodded and allowed Jasper to lead me to the bathroom.

My eyes were red from crying I noticed as I quickly washed my face with cool water as Jasper goes and changes out of his tear stained shirt.

Ten minutes pass before we are heading out the door.

"Jazz?" I say as he locks up and we head towards my car. "I'm sorry for my freak out, I love you. It wasn't anything you did, I hope you can just um, be patient with me." I gently push him against the car door, as I let my lips hover close to him. "I want this, whatever this is to work." I don't wait for a reply as I quickly kiss him before moving to the other side of the car in order to warm it up.

"Me too." Is all he says as we head off to my house and to our waiting family.

It was 6:30 by the time I parked my car in the garage.

I could smell the delicious smell of dinner as we walked into the house.

Our family was waiting for us at the table and I could feel my face turn red as all their eyes landed on us. My voice caught is my throat as I thought about what to say.

"We ran into a little snag, but everything is ok. Sorry for keeping everyone, Esme dinner smells great." Jasper says thankfully saving me. The family accepted his excuse without further questions, though Carlisle and Esme watched me throughout dinner.

"Edward, Jasper," Carlisle says as we all finish. "Will you two please come into my office?" I could feel my hand slightly shake as I nod my head. Jaspers calm reassurance is all I need before I rise from the table and follow Carlisle into his office.

"Please sit," He says as he also takes a seat. "Please Edward will you tell me what happened? We've all been worried about you these past weeks."

I look towards Jasper needing the reassurance that he wouldn't leave me.

"We um, well we were kissing and I…" I paused for a moment, slightly embarrassed about what my dad was asking about.

"Please son, go on. You won't get in trouble."

"We were making out and I was lying on Jaspers bed, I had pulled him onto me. I don't really know what happened, one moment I looked up and it was Jazz then the next it was Phil and I panicked I had to get away. Once I made it into the bathroom I realized what I had done. I just panicked that's all." I could feel silent tears falling down my cheeks.

"Edward, son, none of this is your fault. You have been through something horrible. It will just take time for these things not to happen. I just hope that you would come to me about these things or anyone else in the family. We all love you, let us be there for you, let us help you." Carlisle had moved closer as he talked and it wasn't until he wiped a tear from my cheek that I realized how close he had moved. He was kneeling in front of me one hand covering mine. "I love you son that will never change."

Even with all my smarts I can't find my voice to speak.

"I know, sorry." I whisper as I pull him into a hug. "I love you too dad."

AN: Yep sorry it was so short. Merry Christmas everyone I hoped this chapter was ok, it wasn't wanting to get written. Please review. :)