Los Angeles, March 2000:
The weeks passed. Amber found herself spending more and more time with Spencer. Sometimes, they were joined by Ethan or her own friends, particularly Maria. In fact, after having met at one of the Caltech swim meets, Maria and Ethan started talking to each other and a week after meeting the two of them went out of their first date.
Before they realized it, mid-terms were occurring and spring break was just a few days away. Amber and her friends had planned a ski trip for the week of spring break. Though Amber had extended an invitation to Spencer, he had declined to join them. However, Maria had convinced Ethan to tag along, though he had never been skiing before. Amber was looking forward to it as she hadn't been skiing since she had gone skiing in Vale with her father two years ago.
The Wednesday before spring break found students racing to meet deadlines for papers and projects that were due before they left campus. As soon as she had finished her final class of the day, Amber had placed herself in front of her computer to work on her assignment for her programming class. As she often did when working on her computer, the computer science major had soon lost track of the time. The project wasn't due until Friday, but as she was close to completing it, Amber had every intention on finishing it that night. She didn't even break for dinner, though Maria made an attempt to get her to come to the dining hall with her.
It was a little bit before eight o'clock, when Amber finally saved the program for a final time. She logged into the site, to submit the program for grading, glad to have her final major assignment before spring break finished. As the confirmation message of the assignment being submitted came up on the screen, Amber leaned back in her chair and lacing her fingers together, stretched her arms up above her head.
"Does that mean that you're finally coming back from cyber land," Maria asked, looking up from her notes. She was seated on her bed, a small lamp illuminating the area below the upper bunk.
"Yes it does. The assignment is done and turned in."
"Good, then how about you and I head down to the Sun and Surf Café. You haven't eaten and I'm in the mood for a sundae. I need to take a break from studying," Maria suggested hopefully.
Amber heard her stomach growl at the mention of food. Maybe Maria's idea wasn't such a bad one
"Guess I can finish that reading assignment for philosophy class when we get back," Amber replied, getting up from her chair.
Leaving her notes where they were, Maria had scooted off the bed and was standing next to her friend and roommate in a matter of minutes. The two girls grabbed their purses, slipped their feet into sandals and were soon heading out of the dormitory.
It wasn't long before they were sliding into the booth at the Sun and Surf Café. They ordered drinks and while Amber started looking over the menu to decide what she wanted to eat for the dinner she had skipped, Maria asked the waitress for a desert menu. By the time the waitress had come back with the requested menu, Amber had decided what she wanted. She placed her order and handed the menu to the waitress.
"Is Spencer working tonight?" Maria asked, not looking up from the menu. The Sun and Surf Café served eight different sundaes and she was having trouble deciding which one she wanted to order.
"He's suppose to be working until nine-thirty tonight," Amber replied, scanning the café. "I don't see him though."
"See any wet customers?" Maria asked, laughing as she still debated which sundae to order.
"He only spilt the drink that one time. He's waited on us plenty of other times without incident but you're not going to let it go, are you?"
Maria finally looked up. Glancing over the top of the menu at her friend, she smiled. "Not a chance, because I enjoy watching how fast you get defensive. Say what you want but I think somebody has got a crush."
"I do not. Besides there is no reason to ruin a perfectly good friendship by letting other feelings get in the way. Chances are, one of us would just end up getting hurt, and I'd lose a good friend in the process."
"Or, you could find that special someone that you're going to live the rest of your life with."
"According to my mom, their isn't any room for romance when someone is involved in the military or law enforcement."
"Have you decided what you would like," their waitress asked as she returned with their sodas.
Maria nodded as she placed her order for the sundae. Before she could respond to Amber's last statement though, her best friend changed the subject.
"Are you ready for your test tomorrow?" Amber asked, as she picked up her glass.
The two girls talked about their classes for a little while. While they chatted, Amber had spotted Spencer waiting on tables on the other side of the café. She didn't know if he saw her or not and not wanting to be the possible cause of any accidents, Amber didn't call out to him. By the time Amber's meal and Maria's sundae had arrived, the two girls had changed gears from their courses to talking about the upcoming ski trip.
"It's going to be so much fun. I'm looking forward to meeting Alicia. She sounds like a really nice person."
"She is," Amber replied, thinking of the waitress from the Desert Rose Café that Vince had met over the holiday break. Vince had surprised her by keeping in touch with Alicia and had even invited her along on the ski trip with them. "I guess Chelsea and I are going to be hanging out a lot as all you love birds hit the slopes together. Of course, knowing Chelsea it won't take her long to find herself a guy to hit on and leave me by myself."
"Too bad you couldn't convince Spencer to join us."
"Breaking my neck is not how I plan on spending my Spring Break," Spencer said, in response to Maria's comment as he walked up to the table. He had just gotten done with his shift, and as he had spotted Amber and Maria while working, he had decided to stop by their table before heading home. "Mind if I sit down?" he asked, hesitation evident in his voice.
"Have a seat," Amber said pushing her empty plate toward the middle of the table and scooting over. As Spencer sat down where she had been sitting, placing his bag on the seat in between them, she reached over and grabbed her half-full glass of soda.
"Is there really a high risk of injury with skiing?" Maria asked, bracing herself for the numbers that were about to get thrown her way. They had all learned that asking Spencer any question was going to result in more information than they really wanted, but this was something she was interested in having answered so she figured she'd take the risk.
"Well statistically speaking skiing isn't any more dangerous than other high-energy participation sports. It's even safer than some common activities. Deaths attributed to skiing accident are on average 38 per year while serious injuries are at the average of about 42 per year. Both figures happen at about a rate of .80 per million skier and snowboarding visits. Minor injuries are more frequent. Now comparing skiing to swimming and bicycling, which due to the difference in comparing exposure to risk, can be difficult, you'll see that skiing is actually relatively safe. Skiing and snowboarding has a fatality of about 3.69 per million participants compared to a fatality rate of 54.3 per million participants in swimming and 22.3 fatalities per million participants in bicycling.*"
"Skiing of course takes a certain amount of coordination and athletic ability, and as I'm not exactly athletically inclined and clumsy at times, skiing holds a greater risk for me than some other people."
"Well, what do you know Amber, you're probably safer skiing than you are swimming."
"That's not completely accurate as given the level of Amber's swimming ability the chances of her drowning as compared to say you or me are statistically less likely."
"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel all that good," Maria commented.
"Can I get you anything else?" their waitress asked, showing up at the table.
Amber and Maria exchanged looks and silently agreed that they were ready to leave.
"Nothing else, thank-you," Amber replied.
"I'll be right back with your check," the waitress said and disappeared from sight.
"So what are your plans over Spring Break, Spencer?" Maria asked, looking across the table at the young graduate student. She was hoping it was a question she could ask without getting a whole bunch of statistics.
"I'm not as far along on my dissertation that I would like to be, so I'll probably work on it."
"Spring Break is suppose to be for fun not schoolwork," Maria told him.
Spencer didn't have time to answer as his cell phone rang. Looking down at the screen he saw Mrs. Henderson's number on the screen. "Um, excuse me a minute," he told the two girls getting to his feet and walking away from the table a little.
"You need to get the guy to lighten up a little bit," Maria told Amber.
"Well, the dissertation is important. If I were going for my doctorate I might forgo some fun to complete one myself," Amber replied.
Their waitress came back with the check. Amber and Maria were in the process of figuring out how much each of them owed when Spencer came back.
"I'm sorry, I've got to go," he told them, as he snatched up his bag from the seat beside Amber.
Amber noticed that the color had drained from Spencer's face and he was wearing a panicked look.
"What's wrong?" Amber asked.
"Family emergency. I need to get back to Las Vegas as quickly as I can," Spencer told her, and started to walk away.
Amber reached out and grabbed his hand. "Hold up. I just need to drop Maria back off at campus and then I'll drive you."
"You've got classes . . ." Spencer told her, as she let go of his wrist.
"Nothing I can't make up," Amber assured him, taking out some money from her wallet to cover the bill and a tip. She put it down on the table as she slid out of the booth.
On the other side of the table, Maria was also getting to her feet. The three of them hurried out of the café and out to Amber's pick-up truck. It wasn't long before, Amber had the truck on the road and was heading back to campus.
"Do you need to stop by your place and get anything, Spencer?" Amber asked as she slowed the pick-up for a red light. She looked up to see his face in the rearview mirror.
Spencer shook his head even as he spoke. "No," he told her. "I just need to get home as soon as possible."
"Okay," Amber replied. She wanted to ask Spencer what was going on but she didn't want him to feel like he was prying.
She dropped Maria off at their dorm building. Maria got out of the truck and Spencer climbed out of the back seat.
"Call me and let me know when you get to Vegas," Maria told her friend as Spencer climbed into the passenger seat.
"I will," Amber told her, as Spencer pulled the front door shut.
As Maria headed for the dorm building, Amber pulled the truck out of the parking lot. She kept the truck just above the speed limit as she headed through the city to interstate 15. She knew that Spencer wanted to get there quickly but getting a ticket wasn't going to be conducive to that either.
"Spencer, you should probably call Ethan and let him know where you're heading so he won't worry," Amber suggested.
"You're right," Spencer said, absently though he took his cell phone back out to make the call.
Las Vegas:
It was approaching two o'clock in the morning when they saw the sign for Las Vegas ten miles. Other than stopping for gas, Amber had been driving straight through. Amber and Spencer hadn't talk much during the trip, but finally Amber got him to tell her what was going on.
Spencer had admitted to her that his mother suffered from schizophrenia. He told her about Mrs. Henderson telling him back around Christmas time that things were getting worse, which he had seen for himself when he had been home. The reports over the past months had been much the same and despite the doctor's switching medicine and increased visits from home health nurses, it was becoming more apparent that Diana Reid couldn't be living on her own anymore. Mrs. Henderson had even been staying more with Diana than at her own home the last couple of weeks.
"I had planned on coming home over Spring Break to deal with things," Spencer had told Amber. "Things are getting too out of control though. The visiting nurse couldn't get Mom to take her meds today, and apparently left after being threatened. The nurse called Mrs. Henderson who ended up leaving the café early to check in on her. She wasn't able to get into the house though."
"If she's been staying there, wouldn't Mrs. Henderson have a key?"
Spencer nodded, though with her eyes on the road, Amber couldn't see the gesture. "Apparently, Mom secured the dead bolt to the front door and barricaded the back door with something because the door won't budge even after she unlocked it. Mrs. Henderson finally did get my mom to answer her phone and she went on about government fascists being out to get her and that she wasn't coming out."
"Government fascists?"
"She didn't take her meds. Chances are this wasn't the first time. Her illness is making her hear and see things that aren't there."
"What are you going to do?"
"Try to talk to her. To reach her so she'll let me in," Spencer said. The only other option was to call in the police and have them break into the house. Somehow, he had to make sure that it didn't come to that.
The two friends fell silent until they got into the city and Spencer started giving Amber directions to his house. As she pulled her truck into the drive way behind the other car there, Mrs. Henderson got out of the car where she had been sitting.
"Thanks for the ride," Spencer said, putting his messenger bag over his head and reaching for the door handle. "I really appreciate it. I'll call you when I get things under control."
"What? Wait. Maybe I can help."
Spencer shook his head. "The less people around right now, especially people my mother doesn't know, the better chance I have of reaching her. I can handle this. You've got classes and that ski trip coming up. Go. I'll call you," he told her, climbing out of the car.
Amber nodded. If Mrs. Reid was already convinced people were out to get her, she could understand how seeing a stranger would make things worse right now. Spencer closed the passenger door before she could say anything. She watched as he walked toward Mrs. Henderson. As much as she wanted to be there for him, right now she just didn't know what she could do.
Reluctantly, she backed the truck out of the driveway. She did know one thing, she wasn't heading back to Caltech that night. She didn't have anything due before the break started, as she had turned in his last assignment before going out with Maria. She also didn't have any other tests. She could afford to miss a couple of days of classes. As for the ski trip, she would call Maria and tell her she wasn't coming. There was no way she could go out skiing knowing that Spencer was dealing with all of this back here.
Right now, she'd find a place to stay near-by and get some rest. If she didn't hear from Spencer by tomorrow afternoon, then she'd call him.
Amber stood at the window of her room at the Days Inn she had checked into. She had already called Maria and broke the news to her. Her friend was disappointed but understanding and had promised to break the news to the others. Now she was trying to get a hold of Spencer, who hadn't called her that morning.
Amber was starting to expect his voice mail to pick up, when the phone went silent in mid ring. Moments later she heard his voice.
"Hello," Spencer said, sounding distracted and tired.
"Spencer, it's Amber. Did I wake you?"
"No, I was just thinking about some things."
"How's your mother?"
"Still sleeping," he told her. "Thanks again for giving me a ride home at the last minute like that. I really appreciate it."
"It's no problem. I'm always willing to help out a friend. In fact, if you'd like some company I could come over there. Might help to have a sounding board."
"Come over? I thought you went back to Los Angeles."
"You're kidding, right?" Amber said, surprised that Spencer would even consider the idea that she would just head back to Los Angeles like nothing had happened. "I never could have made the drive without getting some sleep for starters, and second of all, even though you didn't want me around last night, I had a feeling that might change. I got a room at the Days Inn."
"You should head back. I don't want to keep you from your classes and you've got that trip with your friends . . ."
"I'm staying in Vegas for the foreseeable future and there is nothing you can do to change that," Amber told him. "Now if you insist on keeping me at arm's length then fine, I won't impose but I'm here for you Spencer. All you have to do is give me the word and I'll come to you."
"I wouldn't mind the company but I have to warn you, my Mom . . . well, I can't make any promises what she might be like when she wakes up."
"I understand. So does that mean you want me to come over?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"No problem. I'll see you soon," Amber tells him, before ending the call.
It wasn't long before she was heading back to Spencer's place. After two wrong turns, she had finally retraced her steps. Pulling her truck into the driveway, she parked it behind the same car that was there the night before. She assumed it was Mrs. Henderson and figured the lady had either never left last night or had come back. Getting out of the truck, she walked past the car and up the fronts steps, knocking on the front door.
It wasn't long before, Spencer opened the door. Instead of inviting her in though, Spencer stepped out onto the front steps.
"Do you mind if we go for a walk? Mrs. Henderson just came back and I need to get out of the house for a little while."
"Of course not," Amber replied.
Spencer pulled the door shut behind him and the two of them walked down the driveway toward the sidewalk. They walked in silence for awhile. Amber wasn't sure what to say. The whole situation was new to her and she was afraid to say the wrong thing. On the other hand, Spencer just wasn't sure how to put into words what was going on inside of him. He had dealt with this alone for so long and yet here she was. After his brusque dismissal of her the night before, she had hung around.
"Mom woke up not long after you called," Spencer said, finally breaking the silence. "She was actually lucid. Like last night never even happened. She's having tea with Mrs. Henderson right now and they were talking about their time at college. It's how it should be and its moments like that, which make the decision I know I need to make so hard."
Amber remained quiet, not knowing what she could say that would be adequate. Instead, she slipped her hand into his. As she grasped his hand, she could feel the tenseness there but he didn't try to pull his hand away.
"I've been dealing with this alone for so long. I had to. I didn't have a choice after my father walked out on us. It's just getting to be harder and harder. Or maybe it's just me? Maybe I'm just trying to take on too much? Maybe I just need to drop out of Caltech and come back to Vegas?"
"Do you really think that's what your mother would want? You really think she wants you to give up your dreams to live with her your whole life?"
"I'm her son. I'm suppose to be there for her."
"How many teenager are taking care of their parents?" Amber asked. Spencer didn't answer and she hadn't expected one. "Most people your age are still depending on their parents for help. You're not. Instead you're not only taking care of yourself but her too. And I understand how much you want to be there for her but you need to look at the big picture. If your mother's illness is getting worse, she's going to need more and more help. Sure you could drop out of college, give up your dreams and devote your life to her but what happens further down the line, when your fifty years old and she passes away and you find yourself alone with all these regrets of things you never got to do."
"I don't want to turn my back on her. Leave her alone like my father did to her."
"Getting her the medical help and care that she needs is not turning your back on her."
"Mrs. Henderson has been saying the same thing," Spencer told her. "And she's been helping out so much since I've gone away to college and I know its taking her away from her own family. I just don't want to turn my back on her but I just don't know how much longer I can live like this."
Amber squeezed the hand she was holding. What she wanted to do was pull her friend into a hug but she knew Spencer wouldn't be receptive to it. Not out in the middle of the street in the neighborhood he grew up in.
"This isn't an easy decision to make, and as young as you are, well, we shouldn't have to make these kind of decisions, but this is how things are. Mrs. Henderson, your mom's doctors and nurses, myself well we can give you all the advice in the world but the final decision is yours."
"When I got that call last night . . . well, it was like my heart stopped. It worked out well this time but what if next time I can't reach her? What if I had to call the cops in to get into the house? What if she got hurt? It's too much. And I know I can't keep doing this. Can't keep asking Mrs. Henderson to keep doing this. I've known it for awhile. I've even been researching facilities in the area that could give my mother the care and medical help that she needs. I've been putting off doing anything about it though. Logically knowing what I need to do and actually doing it are so different."
"This isn't going to be easy no matter how long you put it off. You said you've been researching facilities," Amber ventured. Spencer nodded next to her. "Then how about we go check places out in person."
"Your ski trip . . ."
"I've already told them I'm not going. I'm staying here in Vegas to see you through this."
"You don't have to."
"I want to," Amber told him.
Spencer stopped walking. He turned and looked at her. "Thank-you," he told her, the tone of his voice conveying so much more than those simple words.
The house was quiet. In the living room, Amber and Spencer had been sitting in silence for hours, ever since Amber had arrived at the house and had managed to get Spencer to move from the floor of the office where he had been when she had arrived.
Today was the day the orderlies from Bennington Sanitarium had come to take Diana Reid away. Spencer had insisted it was something that he had to do alone and Amber had respected that. She had stayed at the hotel waiting for him to call. At four o'clock he still hadn't called, so Amber had tried calling him. Forty-five minutes later, he still hadn't returned her calls and wasn't answering so she had headed for his house. She had found him sitting on the floor of his mother's office, hands wrapped around his knees and head resting on his knees, crying.
Amber knew there wasn't any words that could adequately console him in this situation. Instead of trying to talk, she had gotten him to move from the office to the living room. Now, three hours later, Spencer was curled up on the longer section of the L shaped couch. He was hugging one of the pillows close to him and he had fallen asleep.
Amber had made herself comfortable on the shorter section of the couch. The only light in the room was coming from the lamp on the connecting end table of the sectional. She had propped a pillow underneath her head, but she wasn't tired. Instead she was watching her friend sleep.
Despite the tousled hair, and the tear stained face, Amber realized for the first time just how good looking Spencer was. She thought about all the teasing she had taken from Maria and her other friends over the months. They were all convinced that she liked Spencer despite her denials. She had just kept insisting that they were just friends and though that was true, Amber realized that there was something more under the surface. What she felt for Spencer went deeper than how she felt about her other friends, even Maria and Mark whom she had grown up with.
That realization scared her. She thought about her parents and their multiple marriages between them. Was this how it started? Had her parents felt this way about each other at one time?
She thought about how that relationship had turned out. Every conversation between the two of them anymore usually ended in an argument. It had ever since she was twelve and her mother's third husband had raped her. Her Dad blamed his mother for putting their daughter in that situation. For not seeing the signs. More than that though, Amber thought her father hadn't forgiven himself for not being able to protect his daughter.
There had been a time when she had blamed them both. Had blamed herself. A couple years of therapy had shown her that the only one at fault in the situation was her stepfather.
Still, the thought of a relationship scared her. Even after her stepfather had raped her, her mother had stayed loyal to him. Going to see him in jail for the next couple of years. She claimed she loved him. Amber thought that if love could make you blind as to exactly how much of a creep someone was then it was a feeling she didn't want to experience. Then there was her father. He often let himself get distracted by his work and forgot to show the people who were important in his life how much he cared about them until it was too late. He was careless when it came to love.
Given her exposure to the emotion growing up, it was no wonder that she was scared to experience it herself. She had prided herself in not falling in love. For keeping a safe distance between her and the few guys she had dated. Watching Spencer sleep now, she felt that distance evaporating. Yes, she was scared, but for the first time she was starting to think that maybe it was worth the risk.
Did Spencer feel the same? Ethan had thought Spencer did. Was he right? Did she want to risk their friendship?
There were so many questions but there was one thing that Amber knew for sure. Right now was not the time. Spencer needed time to adjust to the major change in his life that had taken place today. For now, she just needed to be the friend that he needed and nothing more.
Amber stood in the doorway of the big common room at Bennington Sanitarium. Diana Reid had been there for the past three days and Amber had finally convinced Spencer to come visit her. Convinced him that it was something he needed to do for both him and his mother before he headed back to Caltech.
Over the last few days, she had helped him go through the stuff at his home. They had brought Diana Reid's personal items - clothes, photo albums, jewelry and some of her books to the hospital. Despite that, Reid hadn't had any contact with her. They had also packed up and got rid of the other stuff in the house. With his mother in Bennington and him in Los Angeles, Spencer didn't see any reason to keep the house. Some of the stuff he was taking with him to Los Angeles. Other stuff he was putting into storage, and other things he was giving away. A lot of the furniture and household items had been donated to help out a family that had recently suffered a fire in their home. Mrs. Henderson would take care of selling the house and then the money from that sale would be put toward the bills for Bennington. For now, Spencer would stay with Mrs. Henderson when he came home to Vegas.
Spencer had been planning on leaving Vegas without seeing his mother. He had convinced himself that she wouldn't want to see him. That she wouldn't have forgiven him for what he had done to her. Amber knew she couldn't let him leave without Spencer going to see Diana Reid. She had finally convinced him of that and had come with him to Bennington. She had hung back when Spencer had gone into the room though, feeling that mother and son needed some time alone right then. As she watched the emotional reunion from a distance, she knew she was right.
Amber had lost track of how long she had been standing there, when Spencer finally broke away from his mother and headed back in her direction.
"Are you okay?" Amber asked as he approached her.
Spencer nodded. "Thanks for making me come," he told her.
Amber let a small smile come to her face as she nodded in acceptance of the words.
"She wants to talk to you," Spencer said, nodding his head in the direction where Diana was sitting in a chair. "She noticed you standing here."
Amber nodded, and started slowly in that direction. She had met Diana Reid a few times at the house before she had been committed to Bennington. As she approached her, she wondered what the woman wanted to see her for.
"Mrs. Reid," Amber said, as she sat down in a chair across from the woman.
"Hi Amber. It's good of you to support Spencer through all of this. I appreciate that. This hasn't been easy on him."
"Just being a good friend."
"Good. He needs people like you in his life. He's a good boy," Diana Reid said. There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "He cares about you, you know. He doesn't let just anyone get close but you're special. Even I can see that. You care about him too. That's why you're here."
Amber opened her mouth to say something but couldn't think of what she could possibly say to her friend's mother. She hadn't anticipated the conversation going this way.
"I need you to do something for me. I know you're both still young and who knows where your lives will take you, but I need a promise from you."
"What is it?" Amber asked, hesitant to agree to anything without hearing what it was first.
"Don't let Spencer drown in the guilt. This isn't his fault. I don't blame him but I know he blames himself. A mother just knows things like that. Whatever happens between the two of you, I need you to do that for me."
"I'll try my best."
"That's all I can ask," Diana Reid said, with a nod of her head and a sad smile on her face.
*Stats in this paragraph taken from .. Yes I know the year is off but it was the closest I could find.