Chapter Eight

"Okay, so you've got everything you need in your bags and notes outlining bottle and bedtimes. We shouldn't be back too late but they'll both be in bed by the time we are back so you guys have fun and try not to break anything...or anyone. I don't know where everyone else is but I'm sure they won't be gone for long."

I picked up my bag and waggled my fingers at Sirius and Peter, "Night boys, have fun." Sirius looked dumbstruck and even Peter looked a little worried. James looked almost green although that was completely understandable. Not only did Remus fill Grace up with sweets in the village but she had also managed to sneak some extra desert at dinner without James or Remus noticing. Not until it was too late and she stopped halfway through sprinting up a staircase so she could upchuck all over the place. She seemed to be feeling fine now and was almost literally bouncing off the walls.

Remus and I managed to get out the portrait hole before doubling over in laughter, "Oh... my Merlin...did you see...the looks...on their faces!" We finally stopped the laughter, gulping large breaths of air, with the occasionally giggle still escaping us.

We had been lucky to have such good, and horrible I suppose, friends that Ig, Billie and Lily easily agreed to be found anywhere but the common room so that we could all really relish in the terror we would be placing the boys in. No help for them tonight.

After walking to the end of the corridor we stopped and looked around. "So uh..." Remus started, "what should we do?"

"I can barely even remember what I did for fun back when I was childless," I said dramatically, "Oh the freedom!" I yelled, throwing my arms into the air. "I just have no idea what to do with it," my arms fell back to my sides, we turned left and walked down that corridor.

"Maybe one day I can actually help you with some potions but tonight we need to relish in the peace and quiet." He paused looking like he was on the verge of saying something but wasn't sure if he should. "I can't believe I'm even saying this but... I could let you in on a Marauder trade secret. Now of course if you were ever to repeat anything I told you to anyone I'd have to kill you. Seeing as I would be breaking the Marauder code and if anyone found out I would have to suffer the consequences. Which would be so horrible I cannot even speak of them."

"Uh...okaaaay. Go for it!"

"Well the thing is I cannot actually tell you, or show you for that matter, you have to discover it for yourself. Seeing as the Marauder code is protected by charms that would automatically let the others know I broke the code I will have to go through the loopholes. Luckily, I wrote out most of the code and I know these loopholes well. And this isn't one of the larger Marauder trade secrets so I don't have to feel bad about this. And of course if I was caught I could easily plead my case through Section Four, Sub-section Three of the code. Alright, I've decided. Follow me."

I was too confused to speak and started walking after Remus who stopped so abruptly, I slammed into his back. He turned and looked down at me, "Of course when I say follow me I literally mean follow, not come with. I cannot tell you the secret and I cannot show you the secret. But if you were, say, following me without my knowledge then my only fault would be lack of proper Marauding stealth, which has a consequence of course but cannot be tracked as easily as the other rules and laws of the code. This one is usually revealed with the receiving of a detention meaning that one of us has not covered our trail properly and the detention is then acknowledged as punishment enough. I think staying around, Oh... ten feet behind me at all times would suffice and of course after I enter you have to wait for the entrance to close and you then enter separately. Got it?"

"Um...uh, no not at all. But I will be all stealthy ninja james bond-y until we get where we are going."

"I don't think I understood that but let's go. I will be able to explain more once we are there because if you already know the trade secret the code doesn't apply in full," he turned and started walking away.

I was oh so confused but as he twisted and turned through the hallways I followed at a good distance doing James Bond poses along with ninja tuck and rolls with a few kick ass karate chops and kicks in between, just in case there was an enemy behind the next suit of armour. One never could be too cautious.

We made our way all the way to the entrance hall and I watched as he walked down the stair case that housed the entrance to the Hufflepuff dormitories. We passed some students still scattered throughout the castle, most stopped to stare at my amazing stealth skills.

As Remus enter the stairwell I walked with my back to the wall on the right of the marble staircase, James bond style. Gun at the ready I paused with three steps left launching my self off the stairs landing in a brilliant tuck and roll that left me sprawled in front of the Great Hall. I got up painfully to see Billie and Iggy with Quinn staring at me along with a group of fifth year Ravenclaws. I went back into my James Bond stance and ran to the edge of the staircase, squeezing as close as possible to the wall.

"No time to talk guys! This is very dangerous stuff, I may have lost him already. Top secret business! Do not. I repeat DO NOT try and follow me it is far too dangerous a mission and you will for surely blow my cover with that babbling baby of yours. I hope to come out of this unscathed but you never know. I hope to see you again, Bon Voyage!" And I lept down the first few stairs, continuing being a bad ass ninja.

I was slowly creeping along the wall curving in front of me. I went through the corner fingers in gun stance, only to see one Remus Lupin leaning, quite sexily if I do say so, across the corridor from a painting of a bowl of fruit. He didn't not acknowledge my presence, he walked towards the portrait reaching out and... was he tickling that pear? Yes the pear was definitely giggling. The portrait swung open, Mr Remus Lupin stepped across the threshold. There was noise coming from the room beyond, clanging noises.

Once the portrait was shut tight I cautiously approached it. Standing in front of the portrait I jumped on the spot landing facing to the left with gun outstretched. It was clear to the left. I lept into the air landing facing the right and all was clear this way as well. Keeping my 'gun' trained to the right, in case I had been followed, I reached out and little tickled the pear. There was a small giggle and the portrait swung open. My gun proceeded me across the threshold the sight that greeted me was so terrifying, so unbelievable that I dropped my gun in pure horror.

Okay just kidding, but I was shocked out of my spy mode, hands falling to my sides I stood up straight.

"What is this."

"Oh my Merlin," Remus said dramatically, "however did you find me? Well I suppose since you're already here I may as well explain."

I grinned at him.

"This," he gestured around, "is a kitchen!"

"Really? A kitchen? A real kitchen? I feel honoured, I've never been in one before."

"Yes I hear they are quite rare, I am glad that you have chosen this fine establishment as you first kitchen visit. Shall I explain the purpose of one?"

"Oh yes, please do!"

We walked around the kitchen Remus pointing out such things as an oven, and knives, explaining the purpose of each item we passed. He was also giving me little bits of real information such as what the house-elves were, I really had never seen one of them, and was interested in all the jobs they do around the castle and whatnot.

Eventually we ended up sitting at a table with some tea and biscuits. "So how did you guys find this place? Do you go around tickling fruit often?"

He laughed and said, "Sorry I really can't tell you that one."

I grinned, "Breaking the code, eh?" I sipped my tea.

Swallowing a biscuit he said, "Yeah, the consequences for that one are one of the worst."

"I don't think that I've been more intrigued in my life, or more confused," I laughed. "How might one become a Marauder? Is that possible?"

"Well...technically yes, kind of. See no one could ever become a real true Marauder because a part of the way to becoming one of us is to be a founder of the Marauders, seeing as the four of us are the founders we are the only true Marauders. There is a section that outlines how one can became an honorary Marauder although no one is allowed to see or be told of this list outside of the four of us. But if we found a person that met all the qualifications we could nominate that person to be given the title, a case would be made and there would be much debate and a vote as to whether or not the person is truly deserving. They would need three of four votes before they could be sworn in. This has never happened but if it did there are certain sections that would be revealed to this person, though they would not have access to the entire code."

"Wow, that seems pretty intense. The Maraudering Code must be a very long document eh?"

"Oh yes, you wouldn't believe me even if I could tell you how many sections, sub-sections, rules and laws that there are to abide by."

I couldn't help but laugh at how serious he sounded. Sipping the rest of my tea I asked if he knew the time.

"Merlin, we've away from the common room almost three hours now. Wonder how James and Sirius are doing?"

"Has it been that long? Didn't feel like it, I guess we should go rescue our "children" then." I thanked all the house-elves on the way out and promised to come back soon.

We continue to talk about the most random things on the way back to the common room, wondering if the people in the portraits could do things like have sex, and if they could then could they become pregnant? And what about if someone in the portrait was pregnant, did they stay pregnant forever or could they have a painted baby and how would that work? Would the baby have to be painted into the picture?

Neither of us knew any of the answers to our questions, but it was an interesting conversation that kept us entertained and laughing the whole way back. We were shocked into silence when we saw the common room.

Gracie was the first living being we noticed. She was curled up, dead asleep ontop of one of the tables. She was covered from head to toe in ash, she looked like she'd been rolling around inside an unlit fire place. She also had something that looked green and gooey in her hair. Peter was spotted next. He was sleeping on one of the couch cushions although it was no longer on the couch but on the floor in front of it. Actually the couch had no cushions on it at all, neither did the chairs for that matter, they were scattered throughout the room. James was sitting on the cushion-less couch, his head lolling to the side with a sleeping Sirius' head in his lap. There was a few little things that looked like balls of fuzz hopping about the room in different colours. Lime green, neon pink, bright yellow and a hideous neon orange.

I was speechless.

"What...how..." so was Remus apparently.

"O...kay. Let's get the babies in their beds and then murder their "fathers", mmkay?"

"Yeah, okay."

A/N - Okay so, as always I really hoped you all enjoyed this. Any comments, questions, suggestions, complaints or really anything at all please tell me about it in a review! I love all those who review, and those who read too but I love the reviewers just a teeny bit more :P

Oh and I have just finished reading a story called backwards with a purpose, it's friggin' awesome and if you like Timetravel you should go check it out!