If The Moon Fell Down Tonight
Note: So, every time I hear this song, it makes me think of Sam and Dean. It seems to fit them just perfectly, and writing was so much more appealing than restarting my term paper, and I was feeling a bit depressed…and wincest always makes that better :D
Warning: I prefer to call it advice, and it's fairly simple. If you don't like slash, don't read it. If you don't like slash and do read, and then flame me…well, that's just annoying...
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Every time I see your smile
it makes my heart beat fast
When Dean smiled, or grinned, or smirked, it was like everything was going to be okay.
Their world might be falling apart around them, but as long as they had each other, it would all be okay.
Dean could handle anything and everything fate through in his path when he had Sammy by his side. Sam was his own personal ray of sunshine.
Sam had decided a long time ago that if Dean was with him, it would be okay, because his big brother wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to him.
When Dean touched him, it was never embarrassment like it had been with some of the girls he'd been with, or even confusion. It was want.
He liked to lay in bed with Dean, his brother's arms wrapped around him, and be able to feel Dean's heart pick up pace as his hands moved with a practiced skill, working to bring out the pleasured, satisfied sighs and moans that went right through him, until Dean was begging him, begging for release.
And though it's much too soon to tell
I'm hoping this will last
"I have to leave Dean." Sam explained to his brother, his tone bordering on apologetic. "You know I do."
He didn't belong with them, in the hunt, he was a liability. Dean risked his life on every hunt because he was too busy making sure that his Sammy was okay. It could get him killed.
Dean didn't care.
Sam, on the other hand, cared greatly.
Dean shrugged, looking away from his brother. He never thought Sam would leave him. He knew his dad wasn't always there, couldn't always be, but Sam was supposed to be his.
He was supposed to be Sam's.
"School's the right place for me. I belong at Stanford. I don't fit here, I never have."
Dean didn't say anything.
Sam was wrong, he fit perfectly.
They fit perfectly.
'Cause I just always wanna have you
Right here by my side
Once he left, and he was finally alone, he cried.
He knew that it was for the best, that if he didn't, it could be worse for Dean. As much as he wanted to be with him, they couldn't be together.
Dean almost died on that hunt in Toledo because he was so preoccupied when the demon turned towards Sam. Instead of focusing on what his orders were, he changed what he was doing to save him.
He still could hear the squelching sound when the demon plunged the knife into his brother's stomach.
John finished the ritual, but and sent the demons back to hell, and if he hadn't Dean would have died.
But in the long run, he'd rather have a live Dean that he couldn't have, then a dead one.
The futures near but never certain
At least stay here for just tonight
He thought about saying the hell with it, and leaving school every day for the first year.
He didn't think not being with Dean would be so hard.
He supposed that was what soul mates meant. Two halves of a whole, and without Dean, there was a whole half of him missing.
It hurt, and he wondered if Dean missed him, or if he even cared that he was gone.
He wondered if Dean would ever forgive him for leaving, or even understand.
He never wanted to hurt him, he was just trying to save him.
I must have done something right
To deserve you in my life
I must have done something right along the way
Once he was back with Dean, he felt guilty everyday. Every day he wondered if he was killing Dean by being with him.
He knew that he had hurt Dean by leaving. When his brother showed up at his apartment, he could see it in his eyes. He was different, and he had hardened. He was crisp, and clean, and acted like they weren't ever what they had been.
Like they didn't used to just lie around in bed for hours when John was gone, bodies entwined, whispering their love for one another.
Promising themselves to each other.
All Dean had ever wanted was his brother, and if that made him selfish, so be it.
All Sam could feel when he looked Dean's emerald eyes was guilt. Because maybe leaving was selfish of him, maybe he had just been scared.
You can't control Fate.
I just can't get you off my mind and why would I even try?
Even when I close my eyes I dream about you all the time
Even when he was with Jessica he thought of Dean.
Where was he?
What was he doing?
Was he hunting?
Was he okay?
And then Jessica's skillful hands would graze across his body, and he'd moan and wonder… what would it be like if it as Dean was the one doing what she was doing?
Why couldn't it be Dean's hands on his body?
He missed Dean's hands, rough at the fingertips from work—from hunting—that still moved so gently, and carefully. Like Sam was his most precious possession.
And then he'd come, and he'd look into Jessica's bright, innocent, blue eyes. Eyes that never could understand what he used to do, eyes that would look down to him as you freak, if she ever found out.
His most precious possession….
Not anymore
And even if the moon fell down tonight,
There'd be nothing to worry about to worry about at all,
When he was back with Dean, nothing was as scary as it was before.
Dean was his security blanket.
Even when he was scared because he didn't know what was going to happen to him, what he could become…
Dean would hold him tight whispering promises,
I won't ever let anything bad happen to you, Sammy.
And sometimes, Dean said it with such conviction, and determination; he believed his brother.
because you make the whole world shine
As long as you're here everything will be alright