The darkness surrounded me and I couldn't stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I was pouring my heart out to him and was about to tell him that I love him and he left me. How could I have been so stupid.
The darkness started to fade as I felt myself being pulled from sleep. I felt my body shift as Adrian removed my arms from his chest and a wave of sadness hit me again. Trying to hide the tears that were now flowing freely I quickly turned my body to face the wall. If he didn't want me fine, but I wasn't about to show him how bad he hurt me. Shoving my face into my pillow I waited to feel the bed shift with the loss of his weight but it didn't happen. After five agonizing minutes I shifted my body toward his.
He was sitting up, his back resting against my headboard. His arms were folded against his chest and his eyes were focused on me.
"Where did you go?" I asked trying to keep my voice from cracking.
His body shifted forward and his arms moved from his chest. With one quick motion he pulled my body toward his. "I was not going to let you tell me how you feel in a dream" he said bringing his lips to mine allowing them to linger for a few seconds before he pulled back.
I pulled my body from his grasp, "why didn't you stop me before I told you the other stuff and tell me this?" I asked getting a little annoyed. Maybe he wasn't ready for me to admit my feeling so he left. Adrian and I had spoke of his feelings in my dreams plenty of times why was this time any different.
"Because Rose when you tell me something this important I want it to be real. Although I love my grandmothers garden, it is part of a dream that I form. I want every part of this to be real. You with your bed head and favorite pajamas and me half naked laying in your bed" he said grabbing my hand intertwining our fingers together.
I looked down at our hands and realized how well they fit, his hands were soft and cool while mine were rough and warm but they fit perfectly. Plus every time he touched me a feeling shot through my body taking my breathe away and I could no longer ignore it.
"Whether it is in a dream, sitting in your grandmothers garden or sitting here with bed head and all" I stopped, took a deep breathe willing myself to go on "I love you. I can't imagine my life without you and I don't want to. I am definitely not one hundred percent and I am not sure when I will be but I don't want to spend another day without you" I said refusing to break eye contact. I didn't realize that I was crying until his hand wiped the tears from my face.
"You don't know how long I have waited to here those words come out of your mouth Little Dhampir. I love you too, I knew the first day we meet at the ski lodge that you would be a part of my life. My heart is yours and I hope from now on the only tears you will cry will be happy ones" he pulled me forward our lips meeting before he flipped me back onto the bed and hovered above me. His lips moved against mine his tongue tracings my lips before entering my mouth. My hands moved up and down his chest then one made its was up into his hair. His hand moved to the bottom of my shirt making small circles with his finger on my stomach.
He finally pulled back his eyes were smoldering and a smile was permanently painted on his face. "Say it again" he said tracing a line down my face and jawbone with his fingers.
"I love you Adrian Ivashkov" I said bringing his hand to my chest over my heart "as broken as it may have been you have slowly helped me put it back together and it is yours" I said feeling my heart beat pounding through his hand.
He bent down to kiss me again when my alarm started blaring, we both let out a moan then he rolled over to shut it off.
He rolled back hugging my body to his, we sat there for five minutes in silence. The best part was that it wasn't awkward, his hand was making circles on my back while I buried my head into his chest trying to breath him in.
"I have to go meet Alberta for training, and you may want to go before everyone starts to wake up" I said the words but my hands wrapped around his body when he started to shift away from me.
"Little Dhampir you are right, but don't worry I will see you at breakfast and after school. Then we will have the next two days to spend together" he said standing up.
I watched him grab his pants sliding them over his legs, before moving to put his shirt on. I just sat in my bed watching him wishing that I could spend all day in bed with him. He walked back to the bed and sat down to put his shoes on. I sat up and moved behind him, kissing the back of his neck, I felt his body tense. Happy with his reaction I sat back before he turned his body toward mine. "You are not going to make this easy on me are you?" he asked leaning over my bed causing me to lean back onto my elbows.
"I don't know what you are talking about, I was just giving you a kiss goodbye" I said giving him a smile, happy he was having a hard time leaving. His body continued to move forward until I was laying completely back, I felt the bed shift as his knee leaned down onto the bed. His face was inches from mine and I wanted nothing else to put my hands around his neck and pull him down onto myself, but instead I waited for him. Our eyes lingered on each other when he finally closed the distance his lips meeting mine. I would have to say it was the best kiss I have ever had. Then I realized my mistake, I wouldn't be able to get through the day without thinking about him and this kiss. He pulled away from the kiss then placed small kisses around my face. "I love you, but you should really get moving or you are not going to be late" he said in between kisses.
"You are going to have to stop that if I am going to get out of this bed" I said closing my eyes trying to get my brain to memorize the feelings that were going through my body as his kisses moved down my jaw line and neck. He placed another kiss on my lips and then wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me from the bed. I let our a small annoyed moan but stood up. His hands moved to my chin bringing it up so I had to look at him. "I will see you at breakfast, now go jump in the shower and go kick some butt" he said taking a step away from my body. The space between us was small but my body reacted to the separation I wanted to wrap my arms around him again but instead I listened to my brain that was telling me I was going to be late if I didn't get a move on. He bent forward giving me a small kiss then turned away and walked out of my door.
I flopped down on my bed cursing my training sessions and school, when I finally realized how late it had gotten. I only had ten minutes to get to the gym for practice. The thought of showering went out the window as I grabbed my training clothes throwing my pajamas off and replacing them with the blue shorts and a tank top and tying my shoes before running a brush through my hair and putting it into a high ponytail.
I swung my door open and ran to the gym. Alberta was waiting for me sitting on the ground stretching. When I opened the door she looked up giving me a small smile before returning to her stretches. It was something that I enjoyed about her, we could be in complete silence and it was still comfortable. She wasn't like so many of the other teachers were they felt the need to hear themselves talk. Throwing my water bottle down I took my spot and started to stretch. I couldn't stop thinking about Adrian, his face keep flashing through my head gosh I loved him.
"Rose" Alberta yelled snapping her fingers in front of my face to get my attention.
"Sorry" I mumbled pulling myself up to stand.
"Are you ok? You seem to be out of it since you got here" she said a look of concern on her face.
"Yeah I just had a crazy night and had a hard time getting up this morning and didn't get a chance to shower yet" I said stifling a yawn.
"Well lucky for you I am in a good mood, so let us get through all of the exercises and I will let you go early so you can take a shower before classes" she said patting my arm before turning to get into her fighting stance.
The next hour and a half we went through different exercises before she finally let me go. I ran to my dorm and quickly jumped into the shower. As much as I was enjoying the shower I wanted to get to the cafeteria so I could see Adrian before I had classes all day. Gosh I had turned into that girl, couldn't focus, and only wanted to hangout with her boyfriend. It was weird thinking I had a boyfriend, even with Dimitri we never considered each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Our relationship was not allowed and there was no point in trying to pretend it was. I pulled my favorite pair of jeans out slipping them on , then grabbed a vintage t-shirt pulling it over my head then tied my shoes. I dried my hair and let it fall over my shoulders, makeup was not my thing so after applying a coat of lip gloss I was out the door.
When I reached the cafeteria I couldn't help but feel some disappointment when I realized Adrian wasn't there. Lissa was sitting at our regular table and she waved as I came in.
"Hey you look cute today" she said smiling and then waved again. My heart fluttered when I turned hoping it was Adrian coming in. Instead Eddy and Christian walked up.
Maybe he is still asleep, I know I would be if I didn't have class, I thought to myself trying not to sulk. I would see him later, I guess I can wait for lunch unless he doesn't show up to that either.
"You want to go grab some food" Eddy asked pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yeah lets go" I said grabbing his arm pulling him toward the line. Grateful that it wasn't to long yet. I grabbed a bagel and a banana with a water, while Eddy stacked pancakes, eggs, and bacon onto his plate. I couldn't help but laugh watching him fill his plate.
"So you are the reason there is never any food left when I get here?" I asked.
"Hey you know what they say early bird gets the worm, in this case the early dhampir gets the good breakfast" he said chuckling to himself before shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth. I couldn't help but smile, Eddy had become a valuable friend that I was very grateful to have in my life. There was even discussion that he would become Lissa's other guardian. I had a hard time thinking about someone taking Dimitri's place, but now I seen how much he cared for Lissa and he was a really good fighter. I knew he would make a great guardian.
I put my food down on the table so I could pull out my chair when I felt someone's arms go around my waist pulling me to their body. "Good morning Little Dhampir" he murmured into my ear placing a small kiss on my neck. The look on everyone's face was priceless. Lissa seemed confused but then she smiled. I knew she would be upset thinking I had kept things from her again but it is hard to tell someone else how you feel when you are not admitting it to yourself.
Turning around so I was facing him I put my arms around his neck pulling his face closer to mine so I could reach. "Morning" I said before kissing him lightly on his lips. We stayed like that until Christian and Eddy both started to clear their throats. I felt my face blush, but Adrian just smirked then pulled my seat out allowing me to sit down before taking the seat next to me. Adrian was still holding one hand while I used my free hand to eat my bagel.
"So when did this happen?" Lissa asked waving her hand gesturing toward Adrian and I. Instead of answering her I took another bite of my bagel. Adrian seen my classic avoidance and chuckled. "Well cousin for me it started a dark and cold night at a ski lodge. Rose here just took a little bit more time catching up" he said smiling at Lissa while squeezing my hand.
"I need to go to the feeder before class, do you want to go?" Christian asked Lissa standing up.
"Yeah, do you need to go Adrian?" Lissa asked.
"No I have already gone. Thanks though" he said smiling at me. Well that would explain why we wasn't in the cafeteria when I first got here. Eddie finished his food and said he had to run back to his dorm to get a book he forgot for class. I really think he got tired of watching Adrian and I make googly eyes at each other.
"So what are you going to do today while I am at school?" I asked him while finishing the last bite of my banana.
"I have a few things to finish up from last night" he said bringing his face closer to mine kissing my lips. "Quite a few things" he said barely removing his lips from mine as he spoke.
"Is that right?" I asked leaning so our lips were touching again.
"Rose" someone screamed my name and from their tone I could tell they were not in a good mood. Without looking away from Adrian I spoke. "Good morning to you too mom" I said shifting my body so I could see her. The look in her eyes was not pleasant, I don't recall ever seeing her so mad. I didn't bother letting Adrian's hand go and the way he was holding onto mine I could tell he was ok with that. As much as my mother scared most for good reason, Adrian was attempting to be strong and give me support.
"I think we need to speak outside privately" she spit out not attempting to hide her anger.
"Ok I will meet you out there in a minute let me say goodbye to Adrian and I will be right behind you" I said turning back to Adrian. I could tell she hadn't moved, so I pretended she wasn't there. Adrian stood pulling me into a hug "I might not be able to make it to lunch, I am going to try but if not I was hoping you would join me for dinner tonight" he said letting his arms loosen around me so I could see him. "I would love to, will you finally tell me why you are being so secretive the last two days?" I asked. "Maybe" he said before leaning down to kiss me quickly. "I will see you later Little Dhampir. I love you" he said removing his arms around me completely and started to walk away. "Adrian" I called, since he was already half way to the door, apparently more scared of my mother than he had been letting on. "I love you too" I said watching his face light up, while my mother's whole body stiffened up.
Grabbing my arm she yanked me forward "gym now" she hissed in my ear continuing to push me forward. Adrian took a step toward us, but I shook my head telling him not to interfere. "I have class mom, I am going to be late" I protested but she didn't seem to care as she continued pushing me forward. When I finally realized she was not going anywhere I pulled my arm from hers and walked to the gym.
As soon as the door shut behind us she unleashed her wrath. "Rose what the hell are you doing? I thought I told you to stay away from him. And his proclamation of love, you have got to be kidding me. I know you are still hurting with what happened with Di"
"Don't say his name" I yelled at her not caring that I had interrupted her. "You have no clue about my life and that was your choosing. You chose to abandon your child so you could go off and gain some type of stellar guardian reputation. So don't pretend to stand here and act like you know me and what I feel. I love him and he loves me. I am sorry if you can't see that or if you chose not to believe it but I do and nothing you can say will change that" my voice lowered the more I talked. I knew that when people found out about Adrian and I there would be some fall out but I was so tired of her trying to tell me what to do and how to feel.
"I am sorry Rose, I just know how much you have been through the past year. I don't think that it is wise for you to use the Queen's nephew to get over what happened" she said her voice softening.
"I would never do that. You have no clue what he has done for me, how he has brought me back to life when I felt like I had nothing to live for. I admit you don't know this because I haven't told you, but I am telling you now and I am asking for your acceptance. We are going to have enough people tying to push us apart I would really like you on our side" I said quickly wiping a tear off of my cheek hoping she didn't see it.
"I am not going to pretend that I am happy about this, you have so much to offer I don't want you to ruin your future as a guardian because of this. But that being said I won't stand in your way to be with him. Just be careful and please start talking to me. I know I was not the best mother if I was a mother at all, but I can't make that up to you if you don't let me in" she said taking a step forward pulling me into a hug.
Of all the Janine Hathaways I have seen this side of her was new, a little strange but better than her yelling at me or slapping me.
"Thanks mom, but I really need to get to class or my teacher is going to kill me" I said unwrapping my arms from her. She kissed my forehead and told me to hurry up I would get there in time if I ran. And ran is what I did.
I flung the door open as the bell rang, Lissa looked up and smiled and Christian just smirked and looked to the front of the class were the teacher was starting her lesson. After class Lissa and Christian walked off to their Moroi class while I made my way to combat training with Stan. I was not looking forward to it, but it gave me a little time to hang out with Eddy which was always fun.
Taking my seat next to him on the gym floor we started to stretch. I could tell he wanted to say something he would look at me and then back to the ground a few times I seen him shaking his head after five minutes I couldn't take it anymore.
"What is it Eddy?" I growled at him.
"What are you talking about?" he asked reaching over to stretch his left leg.
"Don't mess with me, for the last five minutes you have been staring at me, so you either have a crush on me and you can't help but stare or you have something to say" I snapped at him, everyone always had something to say.
"You are beautiful, so how about we go with that one" he laughed before switching to his right leg.
"How about we go with the truth" I said trying to calm my voice since a few students were now staring.
"It's just Adrian really, like I get it all the girls think he is hot but he is just so Adrian" he said a look of confusion on his face.
At first I was annoyed, but then I realized he was right. Adrian rarely showed anyone his serious side that he shows me, so I could see how people may think that is all there was to him.
"He is different with me, I know he sometimes may seem like he only cares about drinking and smoking but he has his reasons for that. When we are alone I get to see the real him even if you chooses to only show me" I said hoping that one day maybe Adrian wouldn't mind showing everyone else why I love him so much.
"Well I might not get it, but I see the way he looks at you and I can tell he definitely loves you. So as long as your happy that is all that matters and tell him if he hurts you that I won't have a problem beating the crap out of him" Eddy said his face showing no sense of humor.
Class started and for the next hour Eddy and I defended Stan from being attacked by the other students that were acting like Strigoi. There were a few times that I thought about letting them get past us and get Stan but I didn't want to let Eddy down so I took the high road and kicked some Strigoi butt.
After two more classes my stomach was starting to make some very interesting sounds. I walked from class and started to make my way to the cafeteria.
"Are you ignoring me" Lissa yelled behind me stopping me in my tracks.
"What no, why would I be ignoring you?" I asked waiting for her to catch up so we could continue to the cafeteria.
"Well it is just after this morning I figured you would talk to me about what was going on with you and Adrian because there is clearly something going on, after your display of affection for one another this morning. Then you practically run out of first period after it ended" she said. I could feel her annoyance and sadness through the bond. It seemed like after I got back to the academy things had changed, not a lot but some. She was depressed about Christian breaking up with her and I couldn't be there for her because the amount of pain I was feeling was overwhelming. I wanted to be able to support her and help her but for once I needed to come first and she wasn't there. I don't blame her she had gone through a lot but I need to be someone's number one and she couldn't give that but Adrian could and did.
"Lissa I didn't tell you about Adrian and I because it just happened. I am sure you could tell we have been a lot closer the last two months but I didn't want to admit that I had feelings for him but last night I finally did. I never thought I would be able to love someone after what happened, but he healed me. Lissa I love him and I couldn't be happier" I said letting out a deep breath happy that most of the people I care about knew and so far so good. Although they might not agree they were not trying to interfere with our relationship or so they said.
"You love Adrian, gosh you must of gotten hit on the head while you were gone" Christian said walking up putting his arm around Lissa's waist and winking at me.
"That is why I didn't talk to you this morning, Flame likes to ruin everything" I said chuckling at the look on Christians face he hated the new nickname I gave him that now a few of our friends were also using.
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that" he huffed pulling Lissa toward the feeders.
I just smiled. "Lissa we will talk later, I promise" I said walking to get in line to get food. Eddy was already at the table huffing down what looked like a whole pizza. I put my food down and took my seat, a small pang of sadness went through my heart that Adrian wasn't going to be having lunch with me.
"I can't believe we graduate in less than a month" Eddy said shoving a bite of pizza in his mouth. They had extended classes because we missed so much time after the attacks.
"I know we will no longer be students but guardians responsible for someone else's life" I said thinking that I would be responsible for Lissa's life.
"I wonder what court life will be like" he asked staring off like he was trying to picture it.
Thinking about court life made me think about what had happened yesterday with Christian and Lissa, they were clearly back together but did that mean that she agreed not to go to court. Just then Lissa and Christian walked up and sat down. I would have to ask her later when we were alone. They started to talk while I sat there thinking about how things were going to work out with Adrian and I once I became a guardian. Would he be ok with following me wherever Lissa went, or the fact that I would put my life on the line to protect Lissa's. I thought he may have a problem with that one, but he knew what he was signing up for when he fell in love with me.
Clearly staring off in space caused me to not notice someone come up behind me. I felt there breath on my neck and immediately knew it wasn't Adrian.
"So I hear you have turned into a little blood whore, I was wondering were I could sign up."