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Characters are owned my Richelle Mead
"What is that suppose to mean?" I yelled thinking how Adrian could play a part in saving Dimitri. He was a spirit user, but his healing powers were no were near as strong as Lissa's. Then I thought of Lissa maybe that is who she was talking about, but as much as I loved Lissa she was not what or who I loved the most anymore.
I waited for a response but did not get one. I felt like I was going to throw up. Adrian had stopped eating and moved closer to me when I first started yelling. He had a look of concern on his face and took the phone from my trembling hands when the tears started to fall.
"What is going on?" Adrian asked into the phone.
"I want to know what was said to Rose that has gotten her this upset and crying" I heard him yell as he moved my food over grabbing my hand.
"She said what?" he hollered into the phone then went silent.
"What is that suppose to mean?" he repeated the question I myself had asked.
"Please speak to your mother I will not have Rose getting upset in her condition. She has enough to worry without your mother's crazy visions" his voice was attempting to calm but I could tell how upset he was.
"I will tell her, yes I know she enjoys your phone calls it would hurt her more if they stopped. I think it is best that your mother no longer speaks to her. She may see things but she can not expect Rose to put herself or those that she cares about at risk in an attempt to save your son. I am sorry to say that and it may seem cruel, but I will not have her risking herself again" he said followed by more silence and then a goodbye.
He threw the phone on the bed before pulling me to his chest.
"She is a crazy old woman that has to much time on her hands" he said wiping my cheeks free of tears.
"I may have been willing to risk myself when I first went to Russia, but I refuse to loose you" I said into his chest. I was sure there was a permanent indent where my head had laid on his chest the last week.
"So you finally admit I am the one you love the most" he said kissing my forehead.
"Of course" I said wrapping my arms around his body.
We laid there, thoughts were running through my head about what Yeva had said. I was in no condition to go fight her grandson and attempt to save him, but could I just give up knowing there may be a chance that he could be saved.
In the silence of the room my stomach grumbling was loud and clear.
"You should eat then we need to start getting ready for the doctors appointment. We are suppose to meet Lissa, Christian, and Eddy for a movie unless you are not up to it. I can call Lissa and see if we can do it another time" he said pulling the food back towards me.
"No, I wouldn't mind getting out of here for a little while and forget about what Yeva said" I said sitting up leaning my back against his chest.
"Little Dhampir do not put to much thought into what she said, if it was as easy as a spirit user healing Strigoi then someone would have figured it out long ago" Adrian said kissing my shoulder as I ate my food.
"I know, but she knew about the pregnancy what if she right and there is something that can be done to save him. I don't know if I could just let them kill him if something can be done" I said finishing off the bacon. I know it sounds terrible me eating while talking about how to save the man I use to love but a girl needs eat.
"We can talk to them and see what they can do to restrain him if possible, but I am not sure if they will do that or if they will even have a chance. But we will talk about it more later we have an appointment to get to" he said shifting his weight behind me to get up.
I devoured the rest of the food quickly. Adrian grabbed the trays and went to dispose of them in the kitchen. While I grabbed my crutches and hobbled to the bathroom doing the routine I had become use to wrapping the towel around the cast and double bagging it. I was turning the water on when Adrian walked in. Helping me undress we both climbed in taking a quick shower. Adrian ran a shaver up my legs, I was worried when he first offered after I attempted and failed. But he did a remarkable job.
We sat in the waiting room until Dr. Olendzki finally called us back. She weighed me and was happy to inform me that I had gained two pounds something I was not to happy about but Adrian seemed to find it amusing. After a glare from me he stopped laughing, Dr. Olendzki caught the exchange and tried to stifle a laugh.
She did some blood work, asked about my leg, did a routine exam and then finally asked if we wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat again.
"Yes" Adrian and I both said at the same time excitement filling our voices.
The sound was amazing and my heart was fluttering with excitement hearing our baby's heartbeat strum away.
After wiping my stomach she asked how pregnancy was going.
"Good I feel like I am either eating or sleeping all the time" I said.
"Well that is part the pregnancy and part your body still trying to recover from your injuries from the attack. It will get better for a little while, but the further along you are in the pregnancy those feelings will return" she said attempting to give me a reassuring smile.
"I was wondering if Lissa's feelings that come through the bond can hurt the baby?" I asked knowing that they sometimes sent me over the edge, I could not let that darkness seep through to our baby.
"Well I can't tell you yes or no because you are the first shadow kissed person I have worked with, let alone shadow kissed and pregnant. Adrian told me you have learned a few exercises to decrease the effects. I would continue to do those and keep working at being able to shut off your bond when she is highly emotional" she said. I sat there twisting the ring Lissa had made me after talking to Oksana and learning how to put spirit into the ring wondering how much it would help keeping the baby safe from the side effects of being shadow kissed. After a few more questions she told me I could get dressed and she would be back.
"I will call Oksana and Mark when we get home, maybe they will come for another visit and help you learn a few more things to help with the bond" Adrian said grabbing my shirt from the chair handing it to me.
"Yeah I guess it is time to tell them about the baby" I said pulling the shirt over my head wondering how long I would have before my clothes no longer fit.
"I am sure Olena or Viktoria has already sent out a newsletter" Adrian said laughing while helping me slid my pants back on.
"I don't know I am sure Oksana would have called by now if she knew and we just told them what two hours ago" I said before the door opened again.
"Well so far everything looks great Rose, I know you are leaving for the Royal Court in a few days. Due to our close relationship and my knowledge of your case I will be accompanying you until after the baby is born or you can return to the academy" she said pausing for my response.
I was happy but confused. "You don't have to do that" I said not wanting to inconvenience her.
"I think it would be best if I did, now I am going to want to see you in three weeks and we will do another ultrasound" she said jotting my appointment date and time on her card and handing it to Adrian.
"Ok" we both said before I slid off of the bed and leaving her office. Once outside I turned to Adrian.
"Did you do this?" I asked trying to gage his face and expression as he spoke to see if he was lying.
"Of course not although I am happy that she will be coming with us" he said.
The next thought I had was my father. Although I appreciated everything he had done for me he could be a bit pushy and I was hoping he had nothing to do with this. We had spent some time together since he was still at the academy. He stopped by daily and occasionally stayed for dinner. Adrian and him seemed to hit it off, which I was grateful for. It was nice seeing another side of him, when he was with us he wasn't Zmey he was just dad.
When we got to Lissa and Christian's room I was tired and ready to sit down. I could not wait to get rid of these stupid crutches.
Lissa flung the door open. "Hey" she said ushering us in. Eddy and Christian were already sitting down. They both had to patrol earlier during the day since they had cancelled classes until further notice, so all the teachers could also patrol. I felt bad I couldn't help since it was my fault, but realized there was nothing I could do about that so there was no point in stressing about it.
"Hey" I said dropping the crutches against the wall hopping to sit down on the loveseat. Adrian took the seat next to me.
"How is my little God baby?" Lissa asked bending down to talk baby talk to my stomach and touch it.
I found it awkward when she started to do it, but had gotten use to it when I realized it was going to be another six months and there was no reason to fight it. It was when other people tried touching me that I had a problem.
"So when are you guys going to have a little fire throwing spirit user?" Adrian asked directing his question to Christian.
"I am going to say after we have been married for at least ten years" Christian said. Lissa rolled her eyes and walked to the DVD player putting a movie in. We ended up watching two movies, eating three bags of popcorn and two pizzas. Stretching my back I placed my legs on Adrian's lap and closed my eyes for a minute.
Darkness started to fade in and I knew what was coming. I was sure Adrian would realize I had fallen asleep any second now and show up in the dream or wake me up.
"You are looking better Roza" Dimitri said sitting on his mother's couch holding one of his old western books. For a minute I thought it was an actual dream because he looked like his old self his hair was tied up, he had his leather duster on and the small smile I could see on his face was what I remembered. That was until he looked up and I seen his red eyes shining and his fangs out.
What if Yeva was right and there was a way to save him, no I wouldn't put anyone in danger to save him. But seeing him so close to his old self sent a wave of grief through my body realizing what all was lost when he was turned.
"Why can't you just let me go?" I asked not bothering to raise my voice. I didn't want to anger him and I was hoping that there was still part of the old Dimitri inside of this one that would just let go and move on.
"We belong together, I know you wanted me to say because I love you on that bridge, but I didn't think it needed to be said I assumed you knew that" he said putting the book down on the couch his movements were slow and non threatening.
"It wouldn't have mattered, as much as I wanted you to say those words it wouldn't change the fact that I will never willingly turn to be with you no matter what your feelings are" I said glancing around the room recalling my brief time in Baia with Dimitri's family.
"Oh but I think it would have Roza" he said standing up from the couch. His movements were slow and graceful. I watched him move around the coffee table until he was standing in front of me.
"Can I give you something?" I asked staring up at the man I once thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
"You are the only thing I want" he said bringing his hands up to cup my face brushing the hair away from my eyes. My body wanted to retract back, but I wanted him to stay calm so I went along with it.
Grabbing one of his hands from my face gently I pulled it into mine. I had slipped the ring off of my finger while he was on the couch and was now holding it in my hand. He looked down at our hands together I could see his facial features softening and I hadn't even put the ring on him. He looked back up at my face.
"I have missed you" he said leaning down to kiss me. I slipped the ring on his pinky since it was the only one that I could get the ring on halfway. Something happened because he stopped the movement. For a second I was scared that he was about to lash out, he glanced down at the ring and looked up at me again. The red was almost completely out of his eyes.
"Oh my gosh Roza, what have I become?" he asked dropping to his knees wrapping his arms around my legs. Unfortunately since Dimitri liked to keep my dreams with him as real as possible I yelped when he put pressure on my leg.
"I am sorry I have hurt you" he said letting go of my legs but remained on the floor.
"I am sorry I failed you" I said putting my hand on top of his head letting my own tears fall.
I could feel the dream fading, Dimitri must of felt it to because he gave me one last pleading glance before I was in a completely different scenery.
The sun was high and I found myself standing in a field of flowers. The colors were beautiful and bright, but something felt different.
"Adrian" I called glancing around waiting for him to appear.
"Sorry but he said I could take this shift" Lissa said standing up so I could see her.
"Lissa you did it" I said running to give her a hug. She had been working so hard at dream walking and I knew she had grown frustrated with it mainly because I could feel the frustration through the bond.
"Yeah I had a hard time getting Adrian to agree to let me come when he realized you were asleep. Something about it taking me to long to get in but I told him if I didn't get it after a minute he could do it. Don't tell him but I had to pretend I was in for a few minutes so he wouldn't take over" she said laughing to herself.
"I might not be able to do that. I spoke to Dimitiri again, Liss I think he can be saved" I said taking a seat in the flowers.
"Oh my gosh Rose I am so sorry I didn't even think about Dimitri that is why Adrian was being so crazy when he saw you had fallen asleep" she said sitting down next to me.
"It is fine Lissa, but something happened during the dream. I put the ring you made me on his finger and it was like the old Dimitri was back, his eyes were still lined red but most of it faded and he was like his old self again" I said looking down at my hand, the ring was back on my finger.
"Do you think it would be that easy?" she asked.
"No, but I think that it is something to look into" I said feeling myself being pulled out of the dream.
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you, I had to go the bathroom" Adrian said shifting my legs back onto his lap.
"It's ok" I said rubbing my eyes realizing how tired I was.
"I did it, I can't believe I finally did it" Lissa yelled jumping up from the couch throwing her arms around Christian as he congratulated her.
"Good job cousin" Adrian said. Eddy was passed out on the other couch and even Lissa's yelling was not waking him up.
"Can we go back to the room? I am tired and it has been a crazy day" I asked Adrian.
"Of course" he said scanning my face. I could tell he knew something was wrong but also knew he would wait until we were alone to discuss it.
We made our way to the door, Lissa pulled me into a small hug the best she could with the crutches. "I will see you later, maybe sooner that later" she said smiling when she heard Adrian grunt.
"Bye Rose" Christian said kissing my forehead and fake punching Adrian in the arm.
"You better watch it or I will have Rose kick your butt after she has the baby" Adrian said smiling at me.
"Sorry baby but you will have to fight your own battles, I am sure I will have my hands full" I said walking out of the door toward our dorm.
Once we made it back to our room I flopped down on the couch, Adrian took the seat next to me pulling my legs back onto his lap. Slowly he massaged my good leg and softly rubbed my other leg.
"You seemed upset when you woke up" Adrian said without stopping the massage.
"Lissa was a little late" I said watching his hand movements stop.
"She was pretending to be asleep instead of telling me she couldn't get in" he said his voice getting louder.
"Damn it, I know she wants to be able to dream walk, but doesn't she realize what happens when I am not there" he said. I could see his frustration and worry.
"Don't be mad at her she didn't think about Dimitri and she was really upset when I told her he came" I said sitting up to pull his hands into mine. "Really I am ok, that is what I wanted to talk to you about" I said scooting closer to him the best I could since my legs were still across his.
"Why didn't you call for me when you realized you had fallen asleep and I wasn't there?" he asked his voice back to normal.
"Baby, I have to learn how to deal with him and Oksana told me I need to work on being able to get out of the dreams. You can't and won't be able to save me every time, there will be times you can't stop what you are doing to get into my dream or come wake me up. Plus he seemed different this time" I said.
"I will always be here for you. If all I can do is enter your dreams to protect you then that is what I will do every time. Nothing is as important as you and this baby" he said bringing our intertwined hands to his mouth kissing my hand.
"How was he different?" he asked laying out hands back on his lap.
"It was weird we were at his mother's house he seemed so normal. He was wearing his old clothes, he didn't seem evil or like all he could think about was killing me. He wasn't completely normal his eyes were the same, his fangs were down, and he was still wants me" I said wincing at the painful expression those words caused on Adrian's face.
"But when he moved closer and touched my face, I pulled his hands from my face and slipped the ring Lissa made me onto his finger and it was like a switch had been turned. He fell apart it was like he became the old Dimitri and he knows everything he has done. He was crying and saying how sorry he was" I said letting my own tears fall as I recalled the look on desperation on his face.
"I think I can save him" I said.
"Rose I don't know what you want me to say. That I am ok with this because I am not. Even if it is true that he can be saved, I don't know how you expect me to let you go off and risk everything I care about for him. I let you walk away once and even gave you the money to help you on your quest to kill him but damn it Rose I will not let you do it again" he said gently lifting my feet off of his lap to stand up. Even in his anger he was gentle. He was staring at the wall away from me.
"I know he is the love of your life, but I am asking you to let it go not for my sake but for this baby's" he said before he walked toward the front door.
"Adrian."