Days felt like weeks and by the time a week had passed since her horrid talk with Draco, Hermione felt like a lifetime had gone by.
She had tried her best to appear normal, unbothered, but her friends began to pick up on the fact that she wasn't herself. She barely ate, looked pale and sick. Didn't smile or laugh, wasn't socializing. She had to force herself to study or else all she'd want to do is lay in bed. That scared her a little; she thrived off of studying and working.
She was having breakfast. It was a Monday morning and Ron walked into the hall. Harry wasn't there. He had been meeting Dumbledore so often that half the time she didn't know where he was.
"Hey Mione," Ron said, sitting with her. He sat close, not close enough to where it felt abnormal necessarily, but close. Dating Draco had meant lying to her friends and spending less time with them. "Are you sure you're okay?
"I'm fine," she said softly. "I told you I'm just stressed over it all."
"Yeah," Ron sighed as he grabbed food and served it on his plate.
"Where's Harry?"
"Dunno," he looked at the fruit on her plate. "Still feel sick?"
"Yeah I guess, I don't have much of an appetite."
"Want me to take you to the infirmary?" She looked at him, all sweet and caring, and smiled. She appreciated her best friends.
She shook her head, smiling sadly at the book she was holding. She knew Ron wasn't the best at comforting her, not because he didn't want to, just because he was more awkward about confronting emotions. Ron continued to eat his food, Hermione read while offering the occasional glance at the Slytherin table. He was there, in his own world. She in hers. As if they had never talked. The sight of him made her heart sink. It was a feeling she had never known and she realized then and there that she never wanted to feel this way again.
Ten minutes later, Harry arrived. He sat to Hermione's left and immediately dug into the food. "Where were you?" She asked.
"Dumbledore," Harry said, sounding rather defeated. "He wanted to know how my occlumency lessons are going with Snape." The thought of occlumency made Hermione's heart start rattling. Draco was the only thought in her mind. She felt sick.
"Why?" Ron asked.
"Snape complained that I was being daft."
Ron made a face before eating. "Ruddy business getting tutored by Snape," He snickered.
"Don't rub it in," Harry murmured and Ron chuckled.
Hermione, although in between them, felt deaf. "Hermione?" She heard Harry ask. "You okay?"
"I asked if she wanted me to take her to the infirmary, but she wouldn't budge," added Ron.
She looked around at both of them, letting the voices around her and the smell of food fill her senses once again. "I'm fine, both of you just let me be."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "We just want to make sure you're okay is all."
She smiled and bowed her head. "I know, I'm just tired from the stomach bug and worried about you and all this-" she tossed her hands up around her head as she exhaled.
"It'll be okay," Harry whispered, pulling her into a side hug. It was comforting and he was warm. He wasn't Draco, but she let herself get comfortable as she leaned into his chest. She smiled as she pushed herself off him after a few seconds.
"You've got scratches on your glasses again, Harry." He rolled his eyes as she fixed them for him.
A week later, Hermione felt excited. She hadn't felt this in a while, but today she and Ron were going to their apparition lesson in Hogsmeade. She remembered the number of times she had dreamed of apparating as a child. Their test was just five days away and she couldn't help but feel nervous.
As they walked she took notice of the flowers that had begun blooming. Spring had always been a season that brightened her days. She couldn't help but think of hyacinths, Draco's favorite flower. Her smile deflated a little.
"Nervous for our lesson?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, I want to pass the test on Friday. Reckon I will, but I'm having my doubts."
"Hermione," he chuckled. The sleeve of his robes brushed against hers and she saw the red tint on his face. She pressed her lips together. She didn't want to hurt him, but she also didn't want him. Even now, with Draco out of the picture she hadn't even spent one second to think about her friend like that.
"What?"
"You always doubt yourself and then always do well. Don't worry."
Hermione shrugged. "I'm the one who should worry," he muttered.
"Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine," she said with hope in her voice.
Their lesson did in fact go well. Even Ron seemed to get it perfectly this time. "You're ready then?" She asked happily as they walked back to the castle.
"I'm ready as I'll ever be," he concluded. "I'm starved now. The stress of the lesson made me too nervous to eat breakfast."
"How are you going to feel when we have the actual exam?"
"Don't remind me," he said sadly, kicking a rock. She kicked the same one when they caught up to him. And then he did the same a few steps later. "Who can throw it farther?" He smirked.
"Oh honestly, Ron," she said but kicked it anyway.
"Fair shot," he said, he trotted towards it and kicked it hard. It rolled down the grassy hill and out of view.
"Good going," Hermione chuckled.
They continued on the path, a comfortable silence between them. He cleared his throat and she looked at him for a moment. He was nervous, she could tell and the regret in her gut grew.
"Hermione?" he asked, stopping. She turned to look at him awkwardly. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.
"Yeah?"
"I-" he started, "well, I've been thinking." He took a step closer and she froze.
There was a snicker behind Hermione and she swirled. Her stomach plummeted. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were passing through. Crabbe and Goyle looked as foul as ever. Draco looked merciless as he stared at Hermione. His eyes flicked to Ron's. She could almost see the flames rage inside of them.
"Weasel and Mudblood sitting in a tree," Goyle sang as Goyle laughed. Hermione's mouth sagged, she felt like crying. Not because of Goyle's pointless words, but because of the expression on Draco's face. It was as if she could see the pain in his eyes, the anger in his body.
Ron pointed his wand at Goyle who laughed harder. "Attempting to be brave, lion?"
"Shut it, Goyle." Ron muttered. "At least I'm no snake."
"Ron," Hermione whispered, her voice wavering. She pulled him by the elbow and Draco's eyes shot over to where she gripped Ron's robes. Draco sucked on his teeth bitterly looking away.
They sauntered off and Hermione's pain, the one she had been desperately trying to bury for two weeks, resurfaced.
"Let's go," she said, hiding her watery eyes. A moment later, sober, she spoke again as they walked. "What did you want to tell me?"
"N-nothing."
"Okay."
It was Easter break and Hermione was at the Burrow. Her family had been invited by the Weasely's. Harry was also there. He and Ginny were dating and it was both cute and revolting to see how lovey dovey they were.
She, however, wouldn't be admitting the revolting part to Ron, who kept complaining about it. "How can she parade him like that in front of mom and dad."
"Ron," Hermione hissed as they walked out of the house.
"What?"
"She's not parading him around and the him you're referring to is Harry, your best friend."
"Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes. "I saw them snogging last night." He shuddered.
"Oh please."
"What?"
"As if snogging is illegal."
"It is when you're my younger sister and best friend."
She smiled as they sat on the grass, overlooking the hills around the Burrow. "I just hope she's happy," he muttered after a few seconds of quiet.
"Ron, I think for the first time, she is."
"Yeah, I guess." He pulled a blade of grass out of the ground. "And well, he is Harry."
"Yes, he's Harry. You trust him."
"Yeah," he sighed. Hermione laid down and closed her eyes, the sun warming her face. She was thankful to be away from the castle. The corridors reminded her of Draco. She hadn't set foot in the room of requirement for almost three weeks. Being at the Burrow for break was a much needed distraction.
She heard Ron lay down next to her, his arm touching hers. They stayed there together for a while, long enough for Hermione to begin dozing off, comfortable with the spring breeze ruffling the flowers and creating a nice soothing ambiance.
"Hermione?" Ron whispered.
She hummed.
"I want to talk to you about something."
Nerves immediately swirled inside her. She was dreading this. She secretly hoped he wouldn't bring it up. She kept her eyes closed but when his body propped itself up, blocking the sun she opened them. He was looming over her, not too close but not far. Closer than they had ever been. Not to mention the fact that he was looking down at her, she was laying flat on her back. The position was rather intimate.
"What is it?"
"I realize that-" he gulped. "Well, I don't know if you-" he rubbed his eyebrow and avoided her eyes. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
She closed her eyes and exhaled. The question made her think of Draco and she held in the miserable whimper that threatened to launch a flood of tears. "No."
"Oh okay."
"Ron-"
"Yeah?" She opened her eyes and she cringed at herself. The hope in his eyes was making her gut clench.
"I've always seen you as a friend. And w-well. I don't think that's going to change."
"Oh, I see." His furrowed brows and confused expression made her pursue her lips.
"I'm sorry."
"It-it's okay." He layed back down. "I was just asking cause I realized I didn't know."
So he was going to make her feel like the idiot in this situation? She rolled her eyes. "Okay. I just wanted to clear the air."
"Mhm." He interlocked his fingers over his stomach and took a deep breath. "That's fine."
To Hermione's surprise they stayed there for a while. She half expected Ron to storm off, but he played it cool. A part of her was grateful. Their conversation hadn't ruined anything at all.
Katie Bell was back. The three of them looked at her, Harry immediately went up to talk to her. She looked good, healthy despite the accident.
"Harry, I don't know who gave me the necklace."
"Are you sure, Katie?"
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"It's fine," he mumbled. "I hope you're doing better."
"I am," she beamed. "Thank you for asking." They talked for a few more seconds before Harry turned to walk back to his friends. That's when he focused on something on the other side of the room. Hermione turned and was met with a pale Draco. He looked ill as he stared at Katie. He looked around, his eyes focusing on Hermione for a millisecond before averting. He took a few steps back before essentially fleeing the hall.
Hermione blinked, unable to comprehend what had gone through Draco's mind. Harry was fuming. "What the hell was that? See he's guilty. He's running away."
Ron spoke but Hermione was too lost in thought to focus. Seconds later she reacted. "Luna wanted to talk to me. I'll be back." Harry was too caught up on Draco to care.
She looked back to make sure they weren't looking at her before she slipped out of the hall and began looking for Draco. She had no idea where he could have gone.
"Most people always turn right, so I choose left," she remembered he said once. So left she went. In fact she continued going left until finally she saw him from afar. He was walking briskly, a man on a mission. His hair looked wild even from behind. She took a moment to see where he'd go but she never expected him to enter Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. She scrunched her eyebrows in concentration. She had never once mentioned the bathroom to him, so it must have been something he figured out on his own.
She walked up to the door and paused, her hand on the door handle. She could hear sobs and her hand went to her mouth, eyes watering. Before she could chicken out she opened the door.
He was on the floor, his head in his hands. He didn't move when she walked in. Closing the door gently, it didn't shut all the way, leaving a crack open.
She knew he heard her because her shoes were making noise against the tile floor. "Draco," she said, her voice hitching. She stepped towards him and crouched to eye level in front of him. He sobbed again and she didn't know what to do.
She had never seen him cry in the months they had shared together. Not once. Sure he had shown emotions– anger, joy, embarrassment even. But tears? Sobs that wracked the body. This was a new Draco.
"Draco," she repeated. When her hands grazed his hands, the electricity she felt in her body was exhilarating. It was enough to make her gasp. He flinched and her heart sank.
She paused, her hands still over his. She began to pull when he didn't move away. He resisted for a moment before letting her see his tear streaked face. He looked down at the floor as she adjusted her legs under her body, scooting even closer.
"Draco what happened," she needed to be strong for him even though the watching him break down made her want to cry.
Tears fell silently against his pale cheeks, a few dropped all the way to the floor. Her left hand let go of his hand and stroked his cheek, wiping them away. Just like he had done for her.
"I won't be mad."
He shook his head, she raised his face and their eyes met. A month without staring at his gray eyes had taken a toll on her. The intensity of his gaze made her combust. His red, tearful eyes looked broken. The held gaze was gone a moment later when he pulled back and turned his face away from her.
"Draco, I hate seeing you like this," her voice was thick with emotion. "What's wrong?"
He looked at her again and his face contorted into one of pain as more tears fell. That's when he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her torso. He buried his face into her chest and sobbed once again. He was touching her, holding her, seeking her comfort. Those thoughts brought peace to Hermione's mind as she circled her arms around his shoulders and held on tightly. She brought her lips to his head as she played with his hair soothingly.
"You're going to hate me, Hermione."
"I won't."
"I'll be left with no one."
She hushed him. Wanting to be closer, she straddled and held him. He buried his face in her hair and neck. His lips brushed her skin and she stiffened, loving it despite the agony he was feeling.
"I'm here. I won't leave you."
She could feel his tears dampening her shirt but she didn't care. She didn't care because she was in his arms. He was in hers. She felt whole again.
"Hermione," he moaned miserably.
"Trust me."
"I did it."
She leaned back to look at him. They stared at each other, he held her gaze as he said, "It was all me. Katie. The mead."
Hermione's heart skyrocketed at his confession. But she knew. Her Draco wasn't evil.
"I had to," he whispered.
"Why?"
"I was tasked to do so by him."
She didn't have to ask who he meant by him.
"Draco."
"Seeing Bell," he cried again, fat tears. "It was a reminder of the monster I've become."
She jumped slightly, as if a shock had gone through her. "Monster?" She asked, anger in her voice. "Draco Malfoy you are no monster."
He closed her eyes, unable to look at her. "I am."
"Look at me," she willed, holding his face with both hands. "You're not a monster. I know this because I know you. Trust me."
They stared at one another and her heart leapt when his eyes flickered to her lips. She looked down at his and he licked them. She was now very conscious of the fact that she was straddling him and her body screamed for more closeness. She missed him.
She inhaled, prepared to close the gap between them when they heard footsteps. The door was slightly cracked open and Draco immediately pushed her off. "Someone's coming," he hissed. "Go, go now."
"I-" She hesitated, standing, feeling stuck. The footsteps were getting louder. Draco turned away from her, leaning against the sink. Their eyes met in the mirror and she backed away. Realizing it was too risky to leave through the door, she walked into a stall and hid.
She froze, sitting on the toilet when she heard the murmur of Harry's voice speaking to Draco. Before she knew it they were throwing spells at each other. She prayed one wouldn't hit her stall. She raised her legs and huddled in the corner.
They threw spell after spell. She could hear them whizzing by. That's when she heard Harry shout a spell she had never heard before. Draco screamed and her mind went blank, stuck in that stall and unable to go check on him.
Harry was so reckless. Why did they have to fight? Why did he have to hate Draco?
"What have you done," she heard Snape yell and for a moment she wondered when their professor had come in and how he had found them.
Draco was in pain, she could tell by his screams and groans. His short gasps for breath made her want to run out just to see what had happened. She stayed put.
They calmed as Snape muttered healing incantations. Moments that felt like hours passed and eventually Snape left with Draco, taking him to the infirmary. She had to go see him. She had to make sure he was okay.
She stood, the floor wet from broken pipes and slowly opened the door. The bathroom was quiet. She could hear the water drip. She stepped out and turned towards the door when she was met face to face with Harry. She swallowed.
"What the hell are you doing here, Hermione."