Hey guys I hope you like the chapter, not one of my favorites to write but it had to be done. Make sure you review and I will be sure to add the next chapter ASAP.
Characters are owned by Richelle Mead
I wasn't sure how much longer we drove, it seemed like time was just slipping by. My mind wandered from thought to thought from where we were going, what he would do to me when we got there, what Adrian was doing, what I was going to tell him to make him believe that I didn't want him anymore. That thought alone made my chest tighten bile raised from the pits of my stomach. I tried to hold it back but I ended up throwing up all over the front of my shirt and his car.
"What the hell Rose" he growled at me as I coughed up the rest of the vomit in my throat. His voice was hard and angry although I could not see him because of the blind fold I could tell by the shire volume of his voice that the look on his face would not be a pretty one.
"I am sorry" I said bringing my trembling hand up to wipe my mouth.
"No I am sorry, are you ok?" he asked his voice lower more concerned than angry.
"Yeah I just don't feel well, we have just been in the car for a long time, I think it might just be car sickness" I said lying through my teeth but it didn't seem like he caught on.
"Can we stop so I can get cleaned up?" I asked feeling like I was going to get sick again from the smell and the feeling of vomit on my shirt.
"No, we will be there in less than five minutes and then you can take a shower and put new clothes on. You can remove the blindfold you won't see much from here, go ahead and use it to get yourself cleaned up a bit" he said.
"Thank you" I said untying the blindfold and giving my eyes a few seconds to readjust. Although it didn't take long since it was completely dark outside, it made me wonder why he made me wear it at all since from what I could see we were somewhere in the woods and it was so dark I wouldn't be able to see anything that stuck out. "I don't have any clothes" I said wiping the front of my shirt.
"You will have everything you need at the house do not worry" he said glancing over me with a smirk.
"What about for the baby? It will need clothes, food, and what about when I deliver" I said letting my own mind run wild thinking about everything my baby was going to be lacking without Adrian in its life.
"Roza I told you not to worry, I have everything planned out for you and our child. You will be taken care of" he said frustration changing his calm voice to one of annoyance.
I was about to respond when I noticed a house in front of us. Although it was dark I could see the outline of a two story Victorian house. As we got closer I could see that the house was white, the shudders were a dark color I couldn't make out exactly what color they were because of the darkness outside. There was a big wrap around porch and looked like a porch swing. The paint seemed chipped and the house didn't look like it was in the best condition. Unlike the house in Russia it was a clean cut and perfect in many ways on the outside, the brief time I was out of my room I could tell the inside of the house was as impressive as the outside.
There were a few lights on in the house already. My heart rate increased wondering if this would be like the house in Russia where there were human servants and other Strigoi. Dimitri must of picked up on my uneasiness.
"You will be safe here Roza, we are the only ones here. For now" he said parking the car close to the house. He was out of the car and at my door before I could even register what he had said.
"Come I am sure you would like to get changed as soon as possible" he said extending his hand to help my large figure out of the car. Hesitantly I gave him my hand I figured after sitting in the car for so long I was not going to be that steady on my feet. Of course I was right my legs trembled when I stood, Dimitri's hold on me tightened to keep me from falling.
"You ok?" he asked his mouth bending forward kissing my forehead. I felt a shiver go through my body wondering if he would expect more from me once I had the baby. Those thoughts got the blood running through my body quickly so I could regain my strength to stand on my own.
"I am fine, my legs were asleep. I think I will be ok now if you let me go" I said waiting for him to let go of me so I could get further away from him.
"Ok lets go" he said letting go of my arms instead grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the house.
He pulled out a key and put it into a lock after turning it a keypad opened he entered a few numbers and then placed his index finger on the key pad. Once it gave him approval he pulled out another key and placed it into the key pad and turned entering another code before the locks on the door opened. I watched as he went through each step wondering if he did all of this to keep people out or keep people in.
Once the door was open he grabbed my hand again and pulled me into the house. The inside of the house was the complete opposite than the outside. We had to pass through another door that entailed a lot of codes and key pads but not as much as the first door did. If I ever thought I could escape that thought slowly deflated when I saw how much effort he put in to keeping whoever was inside from leaving or vise versa keeping those outside out.
Once we were through the next set of doors it opened into a spacious hallway. To the left there was a door that was closed, Dimitri walked passed that door instead walking down the hall to the first entrance to the right, pulling me along with him.
"This is the living room, you are permitted to enter this area anytime you want. If it is lacking something let me know and I will be sure to get it if it is within reason" he said. I stood in the entrance looking at the nicely decorated living room. There was a deep red leather couch that wrapped around the living room. I pulled my hand from Dimitri's so I could explore the living room and just to get my hand out of his grasp. Walking further into the living room I noticed the huge flat screen television that was anchored to the wall, much like the old apartment Dimitri keep me in everything in this room was anchored down and I suspected the whole house would be like that. There were dark brown coffee tables at the end of the couches and a huge table in the middle of the living room. I noticed a stereo system connected to the DVD player and what looked like TVO set under the television. The walls were a deep brown almost matching the coffee tables, the furniture was nice but the only thing I could think of while looking at it was this is not my home.
Adrian went out of his way to make sure that after we had decided to stay that I was allowed to redecorate since the apartment was already decorated when we moved in. We had started two months ago and was finally working on our bedroom that we had planned on having finished before the baby came.
"I am not putting that in our living room" I said looking at Adrian's face attempting to be stern but as soon as I looked at his puppy dog eyes I felt myself giving in. That was until I looked at the matching recliners.
"Please, you like yours so much now. They are comfortable" he said grabbing my hand pulling me closer to his body. "You remember how we broke yours in when we first got it" he said kissing down my neck.
"I remember quite well, but Adrian the only thing that would make having these chair bearable in our living room is if we were having sex in them and I don't think our guest would like that very much. And I do like the two we have now but that is because I am fat and can sleep easier in them sometimes when the baby shifts" I said closing my eyes and suppressing a moan as he lightly bite my neck.
"Come on babe, they are not that bad" he said moving his lips up my jaw until they were lingering on my lips. But he wasn't kissing me, he just sat there looking into my eyes his breath supplying me with oxygen every time I breathed in.
"Compromise" I said knowing I could get him to fold on the recliners.
"Fine, let me hear it" he said his trade mark smile appearing on his face thinking he had broken my resolve on the chairs.
"You want a recliner because you think they are comfortable right?" I said running my tongue across his bottom lip after I stopped talking. If he was going to get me all heated I was going to make sure he was in need of release as much as me. Therefore I took a step forward running my hand down his torso across he stomach that had definitely gotten harder recently from all of his exercise.
"Yup" he said his breathing picking up when I lightly brushed across the bulge that was beginning to develop in his pants.
"Then you would be ok if we didn't have these two recliners then but something that was equally as comfortable" I said stopping my hand movement above the bulge now and putting a slight pressure on it.
Adrian moaned a little to loud, I took a step back when the sales clerk looked over at us. "You are going to want to stop teasing me or we will be buying a bed after I have my way with you on it in front of everyone in this store" he said his breathing still a little ragged.
"How about we buy a couch that has built in recliners" I said stepping forward once I saw the sales clerk go to help another customer pulling Adrian's face down so I could kiss him. I was desperate to not have these hideous recliners in our home so I put a little tongue in the kiss and grabbed his butt. I knew Alec, Eric, and Michelle were watching us but at this point I was sure they had seen much worse.
"Fine, but I want one thing" he said.
"What" I asked moaning when he ran his nose down my jaw his tongue snaked out on the trip down to my neck. When he was at my neck he whispered sexual acts that actually made me blush even though I knew I was the only one that could hear him.
"After the baby is born of course" he said smiling when I just nodded my head unable to speak thinking about some of the demands he had made. We were both so flustered that we ended up picking the second couch we saw. When a few guardian's delivered it two days later we were in shock.
"It is awful" Adrian said standing next to me.
"Is there a word worse than awful because I don't think awful is good enough for what it is" I said looking at the horrible piece of furniture that stood before us.
"I don't even know what color it is" he said a look of disgust on his face.
"It says olive green" I said looking at the order form they had placed on the side table.
"You know this is your fault" I said taking my eyes away from the hideous couch to look up at him.
"Me. How is this my fault?" he said acting shocked.
"I know you are old and I am sure your memory is going, but if I recall you started your whole distract Rose so you get what you want" I said laughing when his arms engulfed me.
"If I recall you are the one that started using my lack on control when it comes to you to get what you want" he said moving his lips to mine.
"Ok before we get distracted what are we going to do with that awful thing they call a couch?" I asked wrapping my arms around his body the best I could without putting to much pressure on my stomach.
"Don't worry I already called someone to pick it up and we will look at a catalog once we are done" he said pulling my feet from under me carrying me toward the bedroom. I was going to protest with him carrying me but I couldn't stop laughing to get the words out
"Roza" Dimitri said his voice sharp and angry.
"Sorry" I said shaking my head trying to get the memories to fade to keep myself from breaking down in front of Dimitri.
"Lets go there is a lot of rooms to see and you still need to shower" he said grabbing the back of my arm to pull me along with him. The rest of the tour I was distracted thinking about Adrian and what his life would be like without me or this baby. By the time we got to the end of the hall upstairs I was almost in tears trying to hold myself together thinking about what our baby was going to miss out without him in her life. Yes at this point I knew what I was going to have to do to get Adrian to stop looking for me and keep Dimitri from killing him.
"This will be our room" Dimitri said opening the door. I stepped in before I registered his words.
"Our room?" I whispered looking at the huge room that stood before me. Like the living room and most of the house it was painted a dark shade of red. A king size bed was pushed against the wall with a back comforter on it. The rest of the room I didn't really register because his words keep repeating in my head our room, this is our room. If I hadn't thrown up in the car those words would have done it.
"There is one more room left" he said walking out of the room. I walked without actually registering what was around me until I stepped in the room that was across the hallway.
"No" I said my heart stopped and I felt like I was going to pass out. The room was painted a light green, a small wooden crib was against the wall. A changing table, rocking chair and dresser matching the color of the crib was also nestled in the room.
"What is this?" I said not being able to stop the sob that broke out of my chest.
Dimitri was in front of me within seconds.
"It is for our baby. If you don't like it we can redo it" he said reaching his hand out to touch my stomach.
"No" I said stepping out of his reach. I knew it was not going to make him happy but I couldn't let him touch me not in what was going to be my baby's room.
"Roza it has been a long day and a lot has happened go take a shower and we will talk about this later. You know where the bathroom is and there are clothes in the bedroom closet and under garments in the dresser" he said before walking out of the bedroom leaving me to break down alone. On shaky legs I walked to the crib running my hands across the wood before I crumbled to the ground.
How was I going to do this, how was I going to give birth to this child and raise it with a man that I couldn't look at let alone love. How was I going to protect it and keep it safe. I felt like I couldn't breath like my chest was constricting like I couldn't get any air in. I wasn't sure how long I sat there but eventually I had no more tears to cry. I lifted my body from the ground and stumbled to the bedroom to grab clothes. I wasn't sure where Dimitri was but I was glad when I noticed he wasn't in the room. I grabbed a pair of underwear but decided to keep the bra I was wearing. Walking to the closet I grabbed the first thing on the rack and walked toward the bathroom.
Once I was stripped and had the water set on a good temperature I stepped into the shower and let the water rain over my naked body wishing it would wash away all of the stress, pain, and anger my body was harboring. But no matter how long I stood there it all remained, occasionally rising to the surface causing a sob to break through the silence. The baby moving broke me out of my trance I grabbed to soap washed my body then my hair before finally climbing out and drying off. I dressed in the clothes I had grabbed hating how they weren't mine, hating the fact that I was not slipping one on Adrian's shirts over my head like I did every night before bed.
"Are you hungry?" Dimitri asked as soon as I walked out of the bedroom. I jumped back when he spoke not realizing he was in the room since it was completely dark.
"You have to stop doing that, you are going to scare me to death" I said bringing my hands out to feel around so I wouldn't run into anything.
"I do recall a time where my voice did not frighten you but made you smile. Lets see if we can get back to that point. I love you Roza you might try to ignore my words but you need to know that I mean them" he said his voice soft and gentle. I figured out why he left the lights off to tell me this, because in the dark I could almost believe the man that I had fallen in love with more than two years ago was in the room confessing his love for me.
"You have broken my heart twice in the little amount of time that I have known you. Once you could not prevent or change and that was the day you were changed and I saw what I thought to be the love of my life slip through my fingers and out of my life" I said taking a deep breath so I could finish.
"I have already apologized about not telling you I love you on the bridge" he said his voice almost remorseful.
"No, that is not the other time you broke my heart. Although I feel like I would have given anything that day on that bridge to hear those words come out of your mouth but that is not what broke my heart."
"Then when?" he asked. The way he spoke now made me believe that he knew what I was going to say.
"Now, you are breaking my heart now. And I am sure you will completely shatter it when you force me to tell Adrian goodbye" I said finally reaching the door pulling it open to exit.
"You continue to push me Roza and one day you will push me to far" he said his hot breath on my neck. "I love you but I will not hesitate to put you in your place and if you push me I may consider doing it before that baby is born if necessary" he said with so much venom in his voice that I cringed away from him. He pulled the door open pushing me through it and closing it behind me without following me through.
The hunger that I had been feeling disappeared knowing that the baby was not as safe from him as I had thought and it would be me that would put her in danger. I walked down to the living room wanting to get away from him. I sat down on the couch letting my eyes close trying to calm myself I don't think my body could handle any more crying.
I hadn't realized I was sleeping until the blackness started to shift and I was standing in Adrian and my apartment. My heart thumped in my chest.
"Rose, thank God you are here I have been so worried" I heard his desperate voice call to me and I did one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. I started to shift the dream to kick him out, unfortunately I think my emotions were all over the place that it ultimately slowed it down. I felt his arms go around my back trying to grasp my slowly fading figure.
"Stop Rose please stop stay with me" he said his voice broken and I could tell he was crying. Closing my eyes I put all of my strength into pushing him out. I felt his warm arms disappear. I opened my eyes letting the sorrow that I felt from the loss of Adrian's presence disappear. Knowing that the next time I would see him I would be breaking his heart.
"You did not eat, the kitchen has been untouched" Dimitri said walking into the living room coming to stand in front of me.
"I don't have an appetite" I said wiping my face to free it from tears.
"Well you need to eat, if not for yourself for our baby" he said putting his hand out to help me off the couch. The way he was looking at me I figured it wasn't really a choice he was going to give me. I took his hand reluctantly and allowed him to help me up.
The kitchen was fully stocked so I walked to the fridge grabbing the boneless chicken breast out. I wanted something that would take a little bit of time and keep my mind from thinking about everything. I could not afford to let Dimitri see me break down again.
"Can you eat food?" I asked wondering if I should make food for him. It was a bit crazy that we didn't know much about Strigoi since it was not like we have ever had a conversation with them.
"Yes, I can eat food. I actually enjoy eating as much as I did before. I still need blood to survive, but not much has changed from before" he said. I wanted to laugh, did he really think that he was the same. Instead I grabbed two more chicken breast and started to season them. Dimitri sat on a bar stool watching me work around the kitchen, I attempted to avoid looking at him.
"You are so beautiful" he murmured as I grabbed lettuce, carrots, and celery out of the fridge to make a salad.
"Thank you" I said walking to the sink to wash the vegetables. Once the food was done I made two plates and put the food in front of him before taking a seat as far away from him as possible. I finished my food before I decided to tell Dimitri about my plan on how to get Adrian to stop looking for me. I surprised myself when I didn't cry, yell, or break down although I knew that would not be the case when it was time to actually do it.
"I was hoping to do it sooner" he said.
"Do you feel that they will find us here?" I asked.
"No" he said his voice deep and angry.
"Then time will not matter and this is the only way I think that it will work" I said knowing if I was going to do this I was going to do it right.
"Fine no more than a week" he said getting up from the table and grabbing my empty plate and his walking them to the sink before washing them off and placing them in the dishwasher. His actions surprised me because it looked so normal, maybe there was more of the old Dimitri there than I thought.
The nights pass slowly as do the days. I felt like my life was on repeat, I had told Dimitri I needed a recliner and told him the one I wanted because I couldn't sleep in a bed very well. When he left the next day to feed he came back with the exact recliner I had asked for. Although I usually only sleep in the recliner when the baby shifted over to far I figured if I had one it would prevent me from sharing a bed with Dimitri. My dreams were always black unless Dimitri came into them. I had my full barrier up to keep Adrian and Lissa out of my dreams, there were a few times it started to falter and when that happened I was able to wake myself up.
When the day finally arrived I cried the whole time that Dimitri was gone knowing how much I was going to hurt Adrian but I prayed to God that I wouldn't completely break him.
"Don't be stupid tonight Roza, I will not hesitate to kill him and I might go ahead and kill the rest of your friends during the process just to prove a point" Dimitri said sitting down on the bed next to me. He had insisted that I sleep in the bed tonight. I lowered my body to the bed and turned away from him closing my eyes.
The dream started to change until Dimitri and I were standing in the cabin that I had lost my virginity to him in.
"Still looks the same" he said pulling my body closer. I didn't hesitate since this was part of the plan.
"Will you know when he enters the dream?" I asked looking up at him.
"Yes, I am sure it will not take him long" he said once again pulling me as close to his body as he could get me.
"He is here" he whispered. My stomach dropped and I wanted to vomit but instead I put my arms around his neck pulling his face forward until his lips were on mine.
I know I am an awful person, but make sure you review so I can make it up to you.