A/N: Hey, everyone. I know it's been a while. I know I've said this before, but some crazy stuff has happened in my life over the last few years. Some good, some bad. I've been battling depression for some time, so I ended up losing interest in Steven Universe and writing all together. Plus, this is an older fic of mine, so I was pretty young when I started writing it. I honestly cringe at some of my old writing lol. But even to this day, I'm still pleasantly surprised at just how many people enjoy it. This story and the character I've created still hold a special place in my heart and reading all of your kind comments have encouraged me to further nurture it. So here I am again. I'm still determined to finish this even if it may take a few more years.

It's dark.

All is silent as I'm wrapped in a soft, cozy blanket, a pair of arms wrapping themselves around me, lulling me into a blissfully deep sleep.

Safe.

Warm.

Then suddenly, I hear a voice from above me. A mother's murmur. So familiar, yet foreign. Like a harmony of angels warming my soul, touching up my previously broken heart.

"Oh, my love. In all my existence, I never knew what pure perfection looked like until meeting you. My little girl..."

Teardrops that fall on my cheeks force my heavy eyelids to flutter open, blinking blearily up at the source, and what I see makes my heart stop momentarily, leaving me breathless.

Mom?

Her face is the sun shining through the haze all around me. So beautiful, otherworldly, so full of love.

"There, there." She gently bounces me. "Mommy's here. I've got you."

The words are bubbling in my throat. There are so many things I desperately want to say to her, but all that comes out is a noise. What is happening right now? Is this even real?

She smiles and brings me closer to her face, nuzzling my head. "Oh, you'll never know just how precious you truly are." She brushes her nose with mine. "My beautiful little bird. My Evelyn."

Evelyn? I know that's not my name, but somehow it feels so right.

She pulls away and starts to hum a familiar song that I can't quite put my finger on.

The warmth and the love she radiates seeps through every single cell of my body and I've never felt more content in my life.

The next thing I know, a cool breeze that brings with it the smell of sea salt permeates my senses as the hot summer sun warms my hair. I take a quick glance down and realize I'm a little kid again. Sand sticks to my wet skin as I'm laughing and running alongside a little boy with dark curly hair.

A mousy girl with shaggy blue hair wraps a towel around me as Uncle Greg strums his guitar and Auntie Rose hands me a slice of cold watermelon.

I've never seen these people before, yet I somehow know who they are.

The little boy takes my hands and spins me around. The sun bathes the sky in warm colors as it disappears under the ocean as we all sing, dance, and laugh together.

Now I'm sitting cross-legged in front of a mirror. I'm surprised to see that my hair is the color of a chestnut instead of the stark white I'm used to.

My head tingles pleasantly as the woman sitting behind me runs a little singing comb through my hair. She braids my hair, deft hand interweave the strands, tying the end of the plait with an elastic band.

"There you are."

Every time I hear her voice, it makes my heart stop and restart and knocks the wind out of me all over again.

The comb stops singing when she sets it into a cup on the bathroom sink with a soft clink. "All done."

I stick my tongue out at my reflection in the mirror. She giggles, the chiming noise shaking in my ears, making my heartbeat speed up. "Silly girl," she says.

I turn around to look up at her then. Seeing my mother's face up close for the first time makes my throat constrict and the corners of my eyes water in a way that both dazzles and dizzies me.

I can't help the words that fall out of my mouth next. "Thank you, Mommy."

Is this a dream? A fantasy?

She smiles and strokes the top of my head. "You're welcome, little bird."

"Can I go play with Steven now?" I ask her.

"No, my dear. It's time for school."

A warm tear slides down my cheek, my lower lip quivering. "But I don't wanna go! I wanna stay with you." I throw my arms around her, clinging to her for dear life. As if I were to let go, she'd disappear, leaving me as empty and hollow as before. "Don't leave me..."

Patient smile unwavering, she lifts me up, hoisting me onto her hip. "Oh, I would never do that. I'll always be with you." She gently taps the area of my chest where the gem is. Well, where it normally is. "Right here."

I wipe away the tear that's now dripping off my chin. "Can you sing that song for me again?"

She sits down, setting me on her lap. "Of course."

The soft, angelic voice that flows out of her mouth dries my tears and makes me ascend above the clouds.

Your heart sings like a kettle

And your words, they boil away like steam

And a lie burns long while the truth bites quick

A heart is built for both it seems

You are lonely as a church

Despite the queuing out your door

I am empty as a promise, no more...

"Lori?"

"Lori!"

"LORI!"

I gasp. This time I open my eyes and find myself back in the classroom where the choir club meets, tears blurring my vision. My heart and mind are both jumbled, unable to quite comprehend it all. It was all a dream, an illusion. The gravity of it all really hits me, and I clutch at my chest, at the hole it has become. I feel sick, empty, and pathless all at once. It's all gone. They're gone. The life I wish I had, the family I've always wanted and needed, gone.

"Lori?"

I turn my head to the desk beside me. Sydney's features are etched with worry. "What just happened?" she whispers. "Are you okay?"

The teacher clears his throat and I turn my attention to the front of the classroom. "Miss Reese, is everything alright? Do I need to call the school nurse?"

Everyone in the room is gawking at me. I shrink under their wide-eyed stares.

Something cracks inside of me, my ribs are collapsing in on my lungs, which is why I can't breathe.

I mumble something idiotic and scramble out of my seat and out the door. I stumble down the empty hallway until I find the girls' bathroom. I slip inside and slam the door shut, my back against the door, falling, falling a mile downhill until I'm on the floor, where I sink my teeth into the soft white skin of my wrist and cry like the baby I am. I rock, thumping my head against the door. That dream, vision, whatever it was, has unveiled every knife that sticks inside of me, every cut.

I sit there for what feels like hours, before I take a deep breath and compose myself, pushing my bangs out of my eyes, and pull myself to my feet.

I make my way over to the sink and put my hands on either side of it, propping myself up. I stare at my reflection for a moment. These dreams are going to be the death of me, I swear.

I flip on the faucet and splash some cold water on my face. Then I unzip my backpack to find the bus ticket to Beach City. It took every single dollar I had saved up in my allowance to get this. If every fiber of my being is telling me that I need to go to this place, it better be worth it. But there's no way Mom would let me go. I need to come up with a plan.

With a sigh, I shove the ticket back into my bag. I'll figure this all out later. For now, I have a stupid club meeting to get back to.

Once I look somewhat presentable again, I head out of the bathroom and back down the hall.

Someone touches my shoulder. Images of him flash through my mind in a split second. He forces me down, hand clamped over my mouth...

It happens so fast. I clench my fist and whip around. I realize too late that it's Randy. Thankfully, he dodges just in time.

"Whoa, whoa, chill! It's just me! Geez, you almost punched me in the face."

My heart is practically hammering my ribcage. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry." Randy awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. "I should've been more careful, considering...well, I heard about what happened."

I shake my head. "Who hasn't at this point?"

"Believe me, I wanted to throttle the bastard myself," he says, slamming his fist into the open palm of his other hand. "You deserve better...but I'm proud of you for standing up to him."

"Thanks..."

There's a beat of awkward silence between us, before I ask him, "So what are you still doing here? School let out, like, an hour ago."

"I was looking for you," Randy says. "I wanted to ask you something."

He bites his lip and wipes his palms on his jeans, then he takes a couple steps closer to me. I raise my eyebrows. My heart stops, then stutters and pumps again.

Randy clears his throat and does a little bow with a dramatic flourish, extending a hand towards me. "My fair lady, your beauty is out of this world," he says with a silly, over-exaggerated accent. "I would very much enjoy your company at the Winter Formal ball tonight. Do you accept my invitation?"

I can't help but snort and crack a smile. I play along. I take his hand and curtsey. "I'd be delighted, good sir."

We both dissolve into a fit of giggles. Then he grins at me. "Pick you up at your place tonight?"

I stand on my toes and brush my lips against his cheek. His eyes widen and he touches at where I just kissed him, his nose and cheeks tinged pink. "Sounds like a plan." I smile up at him.

His expression is tender as he brushes a lock of my hair behind my ear. "You're so pretty when you smile. I'd like to see it more."

I feel my cheeks heat and I laugh nervously as I try to hide the furious blush that's probably forming on my face. "No, I'm not." I wave my hand dismissively.

"Yes, you are."

"Am not!" I playfully shove his shoulder.

"Well, you'll just have to take my word for it," he says. Randy brings his car keys out of his pocket and starts towards the exit. "You're a cool person, Lori." He throws one last glance at me over his shoulder. "See you tonight."

My head is spinning. Is this another dream? I have to brace myself against a locker. I can hardly remember a time I'd been so deliriously happy. I have a date. Wait, does this mean I also have a boyfriend now?

There's a spring in my step as I walk down the hall. I feel like I'm floating. All of my worries have melted away. I almost don't hear the familiar voice calling out to me from behind me.

"Lori!"

Sydney runs up beside me. "There you are. Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm more than okay." I turn to her, a barely contained smile tugs at my cheeks. "I have a date to the dance."