Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, confiding to the honest, rough to the ruffian, and a thunderbolt to the liar. But in all this, never be unmindful of your own dignity.

John Brown

Chapter 17: Ramifications.

It was over in an instant. A blinding flash of light that sent everyone to the floor. The deafening explosion. And then once more, silence.

Harry slowly got back up. The backlash had thrown him far away, but his hastily erected shield had kept the worse of the explosion at bay. He was aching all over, but no worse for the wear.

His ears were wringing and he wondered how bad the situation was, the dust was so heavy in the air that he could barely see. Giving a tentative step forward he called out Ginny's name. She had been beside him only a moment ago and he wouldn't be able to think properly before he saw her.

By now the station was filled with cries and moans, and he couldn't hear amidst the cacophony of sounds. He lit his wand, in an effort to discern the faces around him, and was relieved to see a flash of red close by. It was her, leaning against a pillar, obviously alive.

He ran the few meters that separated them and she let herself fall to his arms, hugging him close. They didn't need any words. Her presence was enough to calm him and clear his head, his enough to reassure her that, for the time being, things would be okay.

Relaxing her hold slightly, so that they could talk, Ginny asked: "Did you find the others?"

"No, I wanted to find you first. Everything is a mess… I can't even imagine what would have happened if they'd all exploded at once."

There was a sudden gush of wind and the air became clear. Harry could see Dumbledore, wand raised, a few meters from him. His headmaster seemed to be in remarkable shape, considering the ordeal they had all gone through. His beard was slightly singed, his bright robes covered in dust but his eyes were burning. And suddenly, Harry understood. With this attack, Voldemort had crossed a line.

There was a delicate balance in war. Each side working quietly to fulfil his needs, careful not to drive the other into too harsh a response. When he sunk low enough to attack children, innocent children on their way to school, with no provocation, quite deliberately Voldemort had crossed that line.

Taking Ginny's hand, Harry approached his headmaster. They had things to discuss.

"Professor," said Harry, with a slight nod and a chilly voice, "thank you for sending help. It could have been a massacre."

Dumbledore's eyes held barely hidden surprise, and Harry had to wonder whether it was at his words or the fact that he was there to say them.

"What are you doing outside the train, Harry? And you, miss Weasley?" The headmaster's voice held the slightest traces of reproach.

"We got stranded outside, professor, by your barriers," answered Ginny. Under her breath she added, "Not the most intelligent thing to put up, really."

"And why do you say that, miss Weasley?" asked the Professor, a slight twinkle appearing in his eyes when she blushed a crimson red.

Harry answered for her, with a question of his own. "Do you know what did that, Professor?" he asked, pointing at the carcass of the engine.

"I have not had the time to go investigate, Harry. I suspect some sort of time-delayed curse. Why do you enquire?" he asked, with polite interest.

"Because it wasn't a time-delayed curse, Professor. It was a Faust Crystal. A single one. The Death Eaters had packed the train with about a dozen of them." Dumbledore's eyes widened slightly at the information.

"Merlin," he muttered. "How did he find so many of them?"

"That's not the point, Professor!" growled Harry. "How could you seal the train? How could you leave hundreds of students with no escape route? Do you have any idea of what would have happened if we were inside, as we were supposed to? No one noticed the Crystals, Professor! No one would have gotten rid of the things, and the whole train would now look like that!" he finished with a harsh cry, pointing to what was left of the front of the train, nothing but a pile of smoking rubble.

"I didn't want any of the students involved in case there was indeed a battle. It was a simple safety precaution," replied Dumbledore, not cowering under Harry's accusing gaze.

The boy's voice rose with sudden strain. "Supposing your bloody safety protection had actually worked, you never even stopped to consider that some people might be left outside? Or that the Death Eaters might decide to attack the train? What were you thinking, Professor?"

"I never suspected Voldemort would lower himself quite this much, quite this soon, Harry. It was my decision, and I did what I thought was best," answered the headmaster quietly. It was strange, he thought. The young man he had before him had a look in his eyes he had never seen. The old Harry would never had dared to question any of his actions. Dumbledore had to admit that he had never expected to find himself in this position, having to defend his decisions. For a long time now, he had thought he was above such petty activities. Not anymore.

"And this was why, Professor, I needed to be at that meeting," hissed Harry between his teeth. "For better or for worse, I know how Voldemort thinks. I could have avoided all of this while you almost got a train-full of children killed, Professor. This is no longer your personal war."

Harry's anger seemed too deep now for shouts and raised voices. His eyes were burning as he stared at Dumbledore, but he seemed to feel too much to explode. His body seemed unnaturally still.

"Harry…"

"Don't, Professor." Ginny saw his anger as a change in his eyes, nothing more. "One of my best friends was just put under Cruciatus because the Order and the Ministry combined weren't able to properly defend a station, when you were warned in advance of the attack. I'm sick of it. None of you are ready for this war and quite frankly it's more than a little pathetic. I wonder how you'll fare if he gets you by surprise."

Harry's eyes were mere slits now, his arms crossed, so focused on the man before him that he was completely unaware that they now had an audience.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Dumbledore's eyes held a deep sadness, and Ginny felt a slight stirring of pity for the man.

"Aren't we all," answered Harry, before he turned around and noticed the people watching the discussion. "What are you all staring at?" he snapped. "There are people under the rubble! Start digging!"

Disgusted with the whole thing, Harry turned round and walked towards the corner of the station where they had left Ron and Hermione. He could see now that the Crystal had only destroyed a small portion of the train, and that most probably no students had been hurt. He felt sheer relief run through his body, and reached out to Ginny.

"We did something good today Gin," he said quietly.

"I know, Harry. You did great." She smiled at him, wishing that he could accept the compliment, even as he shook his head despondently.

"I didn't get that last stone. And Hermione was hurt. It wasn't great, Ginny. Acceptable, maybe. Not great."

"Look Harry," she said, grabbing him by the arms and forcing him to look her in the eye, "you were trust into a situation where you were never supposed to be, unprepared and completely ignorant of what was going on. No one told you who was here, what was the plan, nothing. And you still managed to keep us all alive in the middle of a battlefield plus save most of the Hogwarts Express. Whatever else happens, it will not have been your fault. After what I saw, I don't think anyone could have done better."

Harry was quiet a moment. In some small measure, he realized, Ginny had lightened the burden he felt. She let go of him, and stepped back, waiting for his reaction, watching the flow of emotion in his eyes.

His hands were shoved in his pockets, he looked slender and solitary. Much too young to have lived the life he had lived and to bear what it had brought him now. All that she wanted to do was hold him.

Harry did not answer. He gave her a slight smile and started walking, hands still in his pockets. She remembered that he had been hit by a hex, and wondered if he was hurting, but knew better than to ask.

They found the other three teens where they had left them. Neville was pale and holding one of his arms close to his body. Something was obviously not right.

"What happened, Neville?" asked Harry in a concerned voice.

"Rock, in the explosion. I think it's broken," his voice was shaking slightly, and he bit his lip as soon as he finished explaining.

Turning to Ron, who still had Hermione locked in his arms, he asked quietly: "How is she?"

"I think she's in shock. She doesn't answer my questions and she won't stop trembling. She needs a healer or someone to look at her." Ron didn't meet his eyes as he spoke, but Harry figured that at least he'd acknowledged his presence. Maybe something good would come out of this whole mess, after all.

…

Half an hour later, Charlie came by with a portkey and a short message from Dumbledore: none of the students, other than the five of them, were hurt. They were to go to the Hogwarts infirmary and wait for the headmaster there.

For once, Harry didn't mind the abrupt dismissal. He had watched as the Aurors started the search and had realized that they knew how to deal with the aftermath of the battle, if not with the battle itself. Soon, a triage section was set up, those with the worse injuries being sent immediately to St. Mungos. Death Eaters were portkeyed to holding sells pending trial. They were remarkably efficient, all in all, he thought ruefully. A pity it was slightly too late.

They had been waiting in tense silence. Neville was in too much pain to hold a meaningful conversation and the other four had too much between them to even try.

Harry kept running his conversation with Dumbledore over and over in his mind. He knew he shouldn't have been quite so forward. He wasn't sure, but he thought he'd actually qualified the headmaster's shield of 'bloody'. If he didn't feel so strained, and if the situation wasn't quite so bad he might have laughed. In the heat of the moment he'd forgotten his place, and he could only hope that it wouldn't hurt their relationship too much.

Ginny watched Harry from afar. She could almost feel his tension, but knew she had to wait him out. He needed time to process whatever was going through her mind, to put his finger in exactly what was eating him inside.

He knew that the headmaster would want to see him once they were safely back at school, and he needed to decide how much he was going to tell. He needed Dumbledore's trust, but at the same time he wanted to keep his game in hand. It was a delicate balance, and Harry didn't want to mess it up.

Touching the portkey, he allowed his body to relax for the first time that day. He was finally safe.

…

Harry sat in a corner of the infirmary, gazing out the window and waiting for his Headmaster to arrive. Madam Pomfrey had harrumphed the moment they had appeared in a flash of light, apparently not very pleased with the invasion of her territory for the second time before turn started.

Ron hadn't hesitated before gently helping Hermione to a bed. She wouldn't let go of his hand, but seemed calmer now that they had reached some more welcome surroundings. Harry really didn't like the glazed look in her eyes... He simply hoped that with a little time she'd recover the bit of herself that the curse had stolen.

Watching the girl in the bed, the nurse had turned to Harry and asked quietly: "Cruciatus?"

Harry nodded sadly as he heard her murmur and sigh quietly: "Then there's not much I can do."

She had proceeded to make Hermione as comfortable as possible and put her to sleep. Watching, Harry had remembered all the times the nurse had done that to him, helping him move on simply by stuffing him full of Dreamless Sleep potion.

While she took care of Neville, he'd been drawn towards the windows, reacquainting himself with the grounds, the castle. He was finally as safe as magic and strong buildings could make him, and he couldn't deny the slight loosening of his heart. They had made it, and Voldemort was probably beyond furious. He'd have to deal with the consequences eventually, but for now they were safe.

A moment later, Ginny joined him and sat silently on the sill. Seeing that he was much calmer now that they were finally at school, she asked: "Do you want to talk?"

"Not really, no. But I'm pretty sure Dumbledore won't care for that." He smiled a tight, bitter smile, and never looked at her.

"You still have some time before the headmaster arrives, Harry. You can think about what you want to say."

"And remind myself to keep my vocabulary clean while I say it?" He smiled slightly, and Ginny realized that he was amused by his slip.

"I really don't think he noticed it, Harry. He was too preoccupied by your murdering glare, you know?" she simpered at him.

His eyes opened wide at her statement and he couldn't hold back a bark of laughter. Something about it had picked his sense of the absurd.

"Merlin, was it that bad?" He started laughing and couldn't stop.

There was a sudden carelessness about his smile that made Ginny want to keep it there: for a moment she could remember the young man he used to be, before time and circumstances had changed him. And in that moment, when his eyes were for a moment completely unguarded, she realized how attractive he was to her. How he seemed to appeal to all her senses, making her breath catch without her noticing.

"Only for Professor Dumbledore." Ginny grinned. "Oh, and for the poor Auror you caught gawking… He's probably scared for life."

"Nothing more than he deserved," Harry said, but there was no anger in his voice, and the smile had not disappeared from his lips.

They slipped back into a comfortable silence, watching the wind blow through the trees of the Forbidden Forest, the soft waves in the lake.

"What will you do, Harry?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know, Gin. Talk to the Headmaster, probably," Harry answered, shrugging.

"Is that what you want to do?" Ginny insisted, watching his face for some clue about his emotions.

"What I want to do, Gin, is something else entirely." There was something in his eyes that Ginny couldn't read. She didn't know what to say, so she just watched him, waiting for him to continue.

"What I want is to stop feeling guilty each time I talk to you, what I want is to finish what we started in the parlour at Grimmauld Place. But I don't know if we should."

She took a moment to try and understand how the conversation had shifted so completely and gather her thoughts.

"Why shouldn't we, Harry? If it's what we both want… We can't let him rule our lives, and I'm not afraid." She spoke quietly, not wanting to attract the attention of the others in the ward.

"But I'm afraid, Gin. I couldn't stand to lose you. Too many people around me have gone. I couldn't stand it if it were you." For the first time he turned from the window to look her in the eyes and she felt the hurt as acutely as she could see it in his eyes.

"I know, Harry. But there is only so much we can do, and no one is entirely safe those days. I refuse to let Tom rule my life. You told me this summer that if we did that, he would have already won. I believed you then, and I still do." She smiled slightly, before continuing, "And in the end it's my choice, with my life."

Harry's eyes narrowed; Ginny could not tell whether this was in contemplation of her statement or of what he would answer.

"In a way, Ginny, I understand what you're saying," he said finally. "It's what my mind tells me is true. But I can't help but be scared… for you and for what he can do to people. You saw Hermione today, Gin." He shuddered visibly, and Ginny wondered if it was in remembrance of his own pain or of Hermione's.

"We can't live if we think like that, Harry. We've managed to keep ourselves alive this far, that should count for something. That should give us a little hope, don't you think?"

Harry gazed at the beds in the far end of the ward almost idly, and was saved from answering by the arrival of Madam Pomfrey, wand in hand, ready to put them back in one piece. Ginny gave a small smile at his wry expression as he turned to her, as if in search of rescue. With an internal laugh she remembered he was the one who had started that particular conversation, however unwise the idea might have been.

…

Harry sat in one of Dumbledore's comfy armchairs, watching the headmaster watch him. They had been sitting there in silent for long moments, both waiting for the other to start diminishing the gap that sat between them.

Suddenly Harry asked, out of the blue: "You had already given up on me, hadn't you? That's why the Order never found me, because they weren't looking."

Dumbledore saw no anger in Harry's voice, only acceptance. The statement of a fact. He chose not to lie. "Indeed, Harry. I thought it highly unlikely that we would ever find you alive, despite miss Weasley's strong expression of the contrary. But I never pulled out the search, and the whole Order did its best to find you. Obviously our best wasn't enough."

"Then it's even worse then I thought. You aren't prepared for this war. I wasn't even in a place under Fidelius…" Harry felt strangely empty, as if his last conversation with Ginny had drained him of all emotion. His head was clear for once, and he didn't feel the overwhelming urge to snap at the headmaster he'd felt at the station.

"We don't have endless resources Harry, and the ministry doesn't approve of our actions," said Dumbledore quietly, imitating Harry's demeanour.

"The Ministry won't last another month, Professor. If the Wizengamot doesn't throw Fudge away, then Voldemort will and there will be no more ministry." Harry's tone didn't change and Dumbledore wondered how the boy could talk of the utter destruction of the structure of the wizarding world with such cool. "I don't know what would be worse… on the one hand we might get a decent government; on the other people might realize just how serious the situation is and actually start organizing some sort of resistance. Maybe that would even get the I.C.W. involved."

"I hope to avoid leaving the wizarding world without leaders, Harry. The Wizengamot won't let it go that far."

"It's gotten this far, Professor, and no one did anything," said Harry with an ironic smile. He knew Dumbledore wouldn't answer, and waited for the barrage of questions to start.

The headmaster sighed deeply and Fawkes, who had watched the conversation from afar, quietly took a perch on the old wizard's knee, crooning softly. Dumbledore let his hand sink slightly into the warm comfort of his life-long companion's feathers.

"Harry, you know that we need to talk, politics aside."

"Okay professor. But first tell me what happened at the station. Did everyone make it?" His voice was tight, but he needed to know.

"For the moment there are no casualties from the battle. The Aurors have three of their number in critical condition; they were very close to the crystal and the explosion shattered their shields. But they are getting the best possible care, and there is still hope. As for the Order… Remus is stable, but he was hit by an unknown curse. The Healers are trying to find out what's wrong with him. Tonks was hit my a rather nasty variation of the burning hex and will probably be in considerable pain for the next few days, her injuries are not life-threatening, however. The Hogwarts Express' conductor has some severe injuries. Healers aren't confident he will recover. Most of the other people involved had minor injuries and burns - nothing too worrisome."

"Everyone was lucky. The Death Eaters weren't there to kill; that should have been the Crystals work. They were there to capture me… Voldemort will be furious, neither part of his plan worked and he probably lost a few men. How many were captured?"

"Unfortunately, most Death Eaters had Portkeys to escape. There are only eight of them in custody."

"Did you get Rookwood? He was stunned and bound, no way he could have used a Portkey."

"Indeed, he is one of them. He was found near two other men, rookies with no experience. Where they your work?" Dumbledore watched him with a penetrating gaze that made Harry more than a little uncomfortable.

"Only Rookwood. Ginny managed to surprise the other two while I was duelling him. He's the one who got Hermione."

"Congratulations, Harry, it is not a common accomplishment to get the better of one of Voldemort's most trusted Death Eaters." Harry saw the question in the headmaster's eyes without his having to ask, but didn't want to broach that particular subject yet. So he simply nodded, reluctance creeping back into his eyes.

The headmaster gave another heavy sigh and closed his eyes briefly, as if preparing for a confrontation.

"Harry, do you have any further questions or can we move into more serious matters?"

"I have nothing else to ask, Professor, but there are things I might chose not to answer. I will be as honest as possible, and I trust you understand that there are compelling reasons to keep quiet about certain matters."

The headmaster didn't seem pleased, but said nonetheless: "I cannot force you to talk, Harry. We've seen abundant proof of that in the past weeks. I can only hope that under the circumstances you are as open as possible. You may not be best pleased with me right now, with good reason, but I can assist you and in the end we have similar goals."

Harry nodded once more, waiting for Dumbledore to get to the point once and for all.

"I would like to discuss your training with you, Harry. Rest assured that I don't mean to stop you in any way, on the contrary, I would like to offer whatever help is in my power to further your education and your magical skills."

"And I will be grateful for the training, Professor. At least in this matter we seem to be in perfect accord."

He paused for a moment, in thought, and made a split second decision before continuing, "Maybe the best way would be for me to show you, Professor. I'm sure that would clear most of the questions you're about to ask me anyway."

Harry got up and cleared a space in the centre of the room with a quick flick of his wand. Dumbledore watched in silence. He stood in one of the corners, taking a deep breath, trying to stop the doubt creeping up on him. Now he had to do this, and the first thing was to make his heart stop beating quite this fast.

Closing his eyes, he blocked everything from his mind but the feeling of magic around him; felt the slight tendrils of his power coming to the surface pooling around his hands, guiding his body. Before he was even completely aware of what he was doing, he felt his body move in the rhythmic dance of the battle, following the steps that had made wizards feared opponents in battle centuries ago.

A few minutes later he paused, his breathing slightly faster than usual, his heart beating a slow drum in his chest. He felt invigorated, as if his magic had cleansed his body of the last vestiges of the battle of the station taken away the hurt. Turning towards his headmaster, he waited for the comments to come.

"That was impressive, Harry. Obviously not the work of the last few weeks. How long have you been training?" His eyes were twinkling slightly but there was a concerned frown on his brow.

"As I told you professor," said Harry as he sat down once more, "I started working the steps as soon as school was out. I… Well, I kind of borrowed a few books from the library for the holidays." He blushed slightly but didn't feel too guilty. He had, after all, intended to put the books back where they belonged as soon as he was done with them.

"I'm sure madam Pince will be pleased to know that her book did not, in fact, grow legs," the headmaster commented, smiling. "I am amazed at the speed with which you bonded with your magic, Harry. I expected the transition to take much longer."

"The control I learned while working on my Occlumency helped me a lot. Now I just have to keep practicing, I guess."

Dumbledore was quiet for a long moment before saying quietly: "You should talk to your duelling Professor, Harry, if he doesn't come to you first with a proposition. I'm sure it would be beneficial to both of you."

Harry didn't know what to make of the cryptic remark, so he only nodded.

"Thank you, Harry, for showing me what was going on." Harry nodded once more, wondering where the headmaster was going. "And I am sorry I didn't have more faith in you. I know you are dealing with emotions and situations that we can only imagine, and you've shown more character than me or the Order could ever ask for… So I have decided to try not to intrude in your personal life. If you have a problem, I trust you to come to us for help, but otherwise, I'll let you figure out your own way."

Harry furrowed his brows, and then asked: "What about the Wizengamot ruling? You made pretty sure I couldn't take control of my life, professor. I don't care for fancy speeches that you won't actually live up to."

The headmaster sighed deeply and then said: "I see that the time has long passed when I could comfort you with words. Very well, I hope at least my future actions will meet your expectations, Harry."

"We can both hope, Professor. That doesn't mean you won't be hearing from my attorney. Nothing personal, Professor, I'm only fulfilling Sirius' last wishes." Harry smiled slightly, and amused glow in his eyes. Sirius would have liked to see this, he thought.

"I understand, Harry. I will talk to your professors about what I saw here. I have a feeling that your classes will lose much of their challenge this year, but that will mean you'll have more time for your training. I'll make sure Professor McGonagall gives you a detailed schedule in the morning, and any further questions you might have, my door is always open."

"Thank you, Professor." They both seemed to know that the offer was perfunctory. Harry wasn't at all likely to come up for a chat at the moment, and none of them had any illusions as to the contrary. "Is that all, Professor?"

"Yes, Harry. I'll see you at the feast."

Harry bowed himself out.

A/N: And they finally make it to Hogwarts. I'm not absolutely happy with this chapter, there are parts I like and parts that I fear are dragging a bit. But it was necessary… one of those transition chapters that I don't like to write. At least I managed to post it soon! Keep an eye out for the next one, it won't be long! Oh, and don't forget to drop a few words to tell me what you think!