DON'T PRETEND YOU LOVE ME

CHAPTER 06

THE VENOM OF A SNAPE

The following morning, Harry, Ron and Hermione were eating breakfast at the Great Hall. Harry was talking about Quidditch, Hermione was talking about things she's going to do after graduation, while Ron whispered to Harry about a weird dream his been having lately when Hermione uncle showed up.

"Uncle Waynard" said Hermione surprised.

"Good morning Mr. Granger." greeted Harry. "Good day isn't it?"

"'Morning all, I just came to tell you that I will be sitting in with some of your classes. Professor Dumbledore was kind enough to offer." said Waynard.

"Yep, he's so great, I want thank him over and over again." said Harry through gritted teeth.

Ron choked on his bread while Harry stared at Hermione's uncle.

"Why are you always choking on things?" an annoyed Hermione asked Ron.

"I think it's great to finally see my niece in action." said Waynard.

But before Hermione could speak, her uncle had already bid them goodbye and set off.

"Well, this is going to be comforting." said Harry mentally.

"Just be careful of what you do." Hermione replied.

"Oh, and I'm sure that Snape will be much of a help." said Harry.

"Hermione, do you know why you're uncle is sitting in our classes?" asked Ron breaking Harry and Hermione's conversation.

"I don't know Ron, let's just see where things go." said Hermione.

Later at Potions, everyone was chattering about Hermione's uncle being in classes where Hermione was. Draco in the meantime was thinking of some sort of way to impress Hermione's uncle by outshining everyone. This is his turf after all. He was pretty sure that Snape would make him look good like he always did.

Beside the talk of Hemione's uncle, students were also talking about Snape's lateness to appear to class today-which was something of a big deal because Snape has a record of attending all of his classes in time since he started working in Hogwarts.

"Wonder what's keeping the old git?" said Lavender to Parvati.

"I don't know. Must have been attacked by a git eating newt." said Parvati.

Dean and Seamus laughed behind them.

Harry however was restless. He wasn't used to the way the door didn't slam forward and Snape coming in and ordering them to take out their assignments he assigned earlier. It was like shifting the balance of nature. Harry looked at the door and it opened slowly, in comes Professor Snape humming some song but he couldn't remember the title.

Except for Hermione's uncle, everyone was paralyzed by the sight. Neville who was withdrawing his quill from his drawer was seen with his jaw hanging out; Ernie Macmillan dropped his cauldron without knowing it.

"Oh-dear-god" Parvati muttered.

"Ernie." Zacharias said. "I don't think I can feel my legs." Ernie didn't respond.

"What a way to kill your reputation." said Dean.

Ron leaned towards Harry and Hermione. "I think there's some dark magic involved with this." he said seriously.

"Oh please, you think everything's involved with dark magic." said Hermione.

"Like the time you couldn't open that jar of pickles and cried." said Harry.

"Do you guys reckon that he's finally gone out of the closet? I mean I had my suspicions back then." said Anthony Goldstein in a low voice.

Everyone who heard him chuckled except Neville who refused to believe what he was seeing. Waynard finally got up and approached Snape still looking neutral.

"Professor Severus Snape I presume." he said shaking his hand. "I'm Waynard Granger, Hermione Granger's uncle."

Snape stopped humming. He faced Waynard with a big smile on his face. "Good morning, yes I am Severus Snape; it's nice to meet you Mr. Granger. Professor Dumbledore told me about you're visit. I must say I'm very happy for someone like you taking time to observe my class." said Snape.

"So, I must ask you, how is my niece doing in you're class?" asked Waynard.

"Oh you have a great niece, she's the smartest girl in the whole school if I might add." said Snape cheerfully.

"Oh Really."

"Yes, that's why she became Headgirl this year."

Waynard gave Hermione a proud smile. As if to say, 'Why of course, she's a Granger.'

"I hope you don't mind if I take a seat over there, Professor." said Waynard pointing at the chair he sat on waiting for Snape earlier.

"I'd be delighted if you would." said Snape.

"I'd be delighted if you would?" said Harry leaning towards Hermione and Ron. "What kind of non-sense is this?"

Hermione and Ron remained speechless.

Snape went to his table and opened his drawer apparently looking for something...Singing

"The way you make me feel,

You really turn me on,

You knocked me off of my feet,

My lonely days are good."

"Oh my god, now I remember what that song is!" said Harry now realizing what Snape was singing "The way you make me feel by Michael Jackson."

The students suddenly felt the urge to run out of the classroom and leave Snape to his own private-but yet exclusive concert.

"Um... Excuse me Professor but um... are you all right?" asked Draco. Finally, a brave soul spoke.

"Why I'm perfectly all right Draco, thank you for asking." Snape replied.

Draco looked left and right, apparently looking unconvinced.

Snape finally stopped his concert...Err... I mean singing and stepped in front of the class "All right class, about the essay of the Veritaserum I told you to write is due today."

Everyone was immediately rummaging around the place looking for their essay, but paused when Snape continued.

"Well since it's such a pleasant day, I'll just let submit it on Friday." said Snape.

Instead of loud echoes of cheers, everyone was still standing looking cautious.

"Yep, dark magic." said Ron leaning over to Harry.

After the class was over, everyone was now walking out of Potions while talking about their crazed up teacher, while heading to their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.

"…And then! And then! He has the nerve to say... Mr. Weasley, do you need help cutting that caterpillar to pieces, it's like! It's like his insulting me in front of my face." said Ron loudly.

"Why would it matter to you? He's always been insulting you in front of your face." said Harry.

"Harry's right Ron, besides, I think he was really offering you help for real." said Hermione.

"Ah, my dear Hermione, that's something that the real Snape wouldn't do." said Ron sounding very smarty pants like. "The real Snape would have told me that next time I can't cut caterpillars… he would stab me on the neck and feed me to his regrets and disappointments."

"Well, he is acting weird." Harry supported Ron.

"You two are so stupid." Hermione exasperated.

"C'mon Hermione, remember our old pal Barty Crouch" Ron reminded her.

"Suit your selves" said Hermione giving up.

"You have Muggle studies after Lupin right?" Harry asked her.

"Yeah, today we're learning about why people steal mail from their neighbors." Hermione told them.

"Why are you still going to that class? It's so stupid." said Ron.

"It's an interesting study of human behavior." said Hermione.

"I think you're an interesting study of human behavior." said Ron.

"I told you many times to not make fun of my sanity!" she snapped at him.

"For the last time, Neville! You didn't fell asleep at potions! And you didn't dream of Professor Snape singing in front of the class! We all saw it, it's real!"

Harry, Hermione and Ron turned around and saw Seamus shouting at Neville, trying hard to convince him that he didn't dream of the event.

After dinner, Hermione and Ron were still at the Gryffindor Common room still talking about Snape...Well who wouldn't? The smart money says the other Houses are talking about it too.

"Come on Hermione, why won't you believe that the Snape we saw was is a raving nutter. An evil raving nutter….without a conditioner." said Ron

"The only raving nutter here is you." she muttered.

"Huh?"

"I think you've had too much Firewhiskey." Hermione said quickly. "Do you even listen to yourself when you're talking?"

"I can't do two things at once. Who am I? Martin the Muggle?" said Ron.

Hermione rolled her eyes and got back to her book mumbling something like having an ulcer by talking to Ron

"Well, there is something we can do." said Harry who had just come out of the boys dormitory.

"Throw Ron a rope so he can get a better grip on reality." Hermione muttered.

"Where did you go off to? And what's that?" asked Ron pointing at the cloak Harry was holding.

"It's my dad's invisibility cloak" he replied.

"And what do you think you're going to do with that, Harry?" said Hermione placing her book back on the table.

"Hermione." said Harry in a mock-hurt tone. "It's like you don't even know me."

"Of course." said Ron sounding a bit triumphant "Were going to spy on him."

"No-we-can't!" said Hermione.

"We've already been through this, Hermione. No matter what you do, we will always outvote your conscience." said Harry.

"I suppose you have a suggestion on what we should do instead." said Ron.

"Study." said Hermione.

"Surprising." said Ron.

"Oh yeah, Ron, what's our only class tomorrow that has an exam?" Harry asked.

"Care of magical creatures." Ron replied.

"Fine! Let me get my coat." She snapped at the two.

Harry and Ron laughed.

"Hang on, Harry. We have an exam tomorrow?" Ron asked.

"Yeah."

"Blimey, I didn't study."

"Neither did I."

The three went off to the empty corridors of the school while looking at the Marauders map. An old piece of parchment which contained a magical blueprint of the school. Currently on it, three dots labeled with their names making their way to the Great Hall. When all of the sudden, they saw a dot labeled as Severus Snape which is walking down at the corridor towards them.

"His coming this way." said Ron.

"Quick! Under the cloak you two." said Harry quickly.

Harry, Hermione and Ron quickly dashed underneath the invisibility cloak. Moments later, Snape was walking hastily pass them with a big grin on his face. When he was meters away, Harry urged his two friends to follow.

"Where do you think he's going?" whispered Ron.

"I think we're going to the Astronomy tower." Hermione whispered back.

"What do you reckon he's going to do at the Astronomy tower at this hour?" Ron asked again.

"Maybe he's going to use those lunarscopes to spy on women." Harry sniggered.

As Snape reached the door leading to the stairs of the tower, he stopped and combed his greasy hair and checked his robe for any dirt or wrinkles.

"What? Is he going to be in a photo shoot or something?" Harry whispered.

Hermione and Ron sniggered. Snape finally finished his checking and preceded upstairs, the three followed. As the three reached the top, they stopped dead as they saw two black figures standing in the cold of the night. One of the figures was obviously the man they were following just moments ago. it was clearly Snape judging by the he stood. The other one was a female. Harry couldn't make who it was, but then he heard Hermione whisper to them that the female was their Astronomy teacher, Professor Saphina Sinistra.

"How did you know?" asked Harry now realizing that his best friend was right.

"Well for one, she is the only person who has access to the Astronomy tower. Judging by the fact that this is the place she spent most of her time" Hermione replied sarcastically.

"Shhh, be quite, I think they're trying to say something" Ron interrupted.

"Severus, what brings you to my tower?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing special Saphina, I just want to see the view from up here for a change." said Snape sounding his usual but smiling.

"Well that's a good thing." she said now returning his smile. "With all the time you spent in your office at the Dungeons, if I were you I wouldn't last a week."

"Well clearly you aren't me, Ha Ha Ha Ha ha.. ha...ha....." Snape stopped laughing realizing that he was not in front of the right crowd for this kind of jokes. He stuttered to say something to her to save what's left in this conversation.

"I hate Harry Potter!" he said out loud to her bluntly

Hermione and Ron turned their heads to Harry only to find him glaring at Snape.

"Feeling's mutual Snape, the feeling is very mutual." he said still glaring at his Potions Master.

Sinistra looked taken back from the statement that Snape told her. "It's...it's nice of you to share me that information Severus."

"I hate Harry Potter with every fiber of my being, His essence lingers of what dirt his father and his associates (he said associates with a great feeling of disgust, Sirius this is all you're fault you big bully) had created in the time they have spent in this school a long time ago." Snape said to her.

Snape seemed to be in a trance. Everything disappeared. The next thing he knew, he was inside a casino with Sinistra clinging on to him with her tiny black dress. Laughing at all of his jokes and kissing him on the cheek.

They were on the Blackjack table and he had just won.

"Bwa ha ha, Lupin, here's ten Galleons, go buy yourself a silver bullet to kill yourself with." Snape bellowed.

"You're amazing." said Sinistra, grabbing Snape's face and planting a big smooch on him.

They were on the Craps table and he had just rolled seven.

"Yes! Pettigrew! Here's six sickles go and get your shirt printed on the back that says, half percent full. Sure you're a scum, sure you touch yourself when you think nobody else is looking, but be proud of yourself, you're special." Snapped raved on.

Sinistra licked the side of his face. "Oh, I can't stand it! Make love to me. I want to have your abortion."

They were on the Roulette table and the ball just dropped to his number, number 13.

"Yes! James Potter I'm not giving you anything but an advice, take your beloved broom, polish it thoroughly, take a good look at it before you shove it all the way inside you're ass." said Snape.

"Severus, I want you to meet my twin sister Sophie." said Sinistra as a woman who looked exactly like her came by.

"Hello." Snape greeted her.

Sinistra leaned to Snape's ear and whispered. "She may look like me but I can assure you that she's the slut in the family."

"He's gorgeous Saphina," said Sophie. "Maybe we could share him."

They were at the slot machine and just pulled three sevens.

"It's my lucky day! Sirius Black! You can crawl under a box somewhere in an alley and die miserably, and then go to hell where you will be forever be tortured miserably. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha."

PLOP!

Going back to the real world, Snape was beaming at nowhere. He then realize that Sinistra was trying to get his attention for a while now

"Severus are you all right? I think you really have been overwork lately." she said worriedly.

"Who? Me? Overwork? That's preposterous." said Snape laughing mildly. (Snape don't you dare go back to that place) "I'm just merely exercising my ability to...look ...like...this."

"Nonsense Severus, I want you to go rest, you'll be needing it for tomorrow." she said smiling at him again.

"Well... um...err..." Snape for the first time, the man who tells Harry and the other Gryffindors to shut up, screw you, grab this and kill you in your sleep is having trouble to say something.

"Okay ill go and sleep, but only if you rest as well." he added quickly.

Sinistra smiled at him. And before he could leave, Snape felt something he had never felt before, he was kissed on his cheek. Snape looked natural, he walked downstairs with such haste that the three in the invisibility cloak had to jump sideways to let him through. Harry saw something in Snape's face, something that it would never occur in his mind, dreams or nightmares, Snape was blushing.

The three were walking down the corridor back to the Gryffindor tower.

"Snape has the ability to blush! Do you know how much galleons we can get for that information? Not to mention about the hanky panky going around with Sinistra and Snape." said Ron beaming brightly.

"So that's why he's acting so weird this afternoon, I think Professor Snape has a little bit of a crush with our Astronomy teacher" said Hermione.

"I think I'm going to have more sleepless nights again" said Harry sniggering; Hermione and Ron couldn't help doing the same.

"Come on you two. I for one think it's cute."

"You find lots of things cute." said Harry

"No I don't, stop it!" Hermione slapped Harry on the shoulder.

"What? You don't find me cute?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"Come on, you can say it. I find you cute."

"That's just because I am cute."

"Fine, you can call me hot,"

"Your ego is going to blowing up."

"All I'm trying to say is you didn't deny that I'm cute."

"Geez, get a room you two." said Ron.

Harry and Hermione forgot all about Ron. The two quickly turned silent and red.

"I'm cute too." said Ron trying to brake the tension.

Moments later, Ron stopped and told Harry and Hermione to go on right ahead.

"I have to go to the little boy's room." he said. "You two go on right ahead, don't wait for me. I'm going to sleep straight ahead when I'm done."

Harry and Hermione nodded and walked carefully to the Gryffindor tower, while leaving Ron with the Marauder's map to avoid filch. Ron was heading back to the Gryffindor while thinking about Snape's escapade earlier; he didn't realize that he forgot to consult the map when it was too late.

"Hey you!"

Ron turned around quickly to see where the familiar female voice came from. It was then that he saw his fellow Gryffindor Parvati Patil standing behind him; Ron gave a sigh of relief and went over towards her.

"You almost gave me a heart attack." said Ron trying to not shout. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Me? What about you?" she said beaming at him. "You, Harry and Hermione have a record of gallivanting outside the Gryffindor tower at night for six years."

"For us it was different, we were..."

"Who cares." she cut him off. "It's all in the past now, right." Parvati walked slowly towards Ron and placed her index finger on Ron's chest which left him stuttering. "You know what, Ron."

Ron suddenly felt his body refuse any means of movement that he wanted so badly. His face turned as scarlet as his hair as and he was sweat madly.

"W...What?"

"I really like you're red hair, you look so cute when it's all combed roughly." she said, now circling Ron like a lioness on its prey, feeling his body seductively with her hand.

"Y...You do?" Ron squeaked.

"Yeah, and you know, I dreamt of you and me having a go on you're large...broom yesterday night,."

"Y...You did?"

"And I would so fancy it if that would come true."

"Y...You would?"

Parvati stopped behind Ron and leaned only a few inches from his ear. "Yesssssss!" she said blowing on Ron's ear. "B...Bloody hell" squeaked Ron blushing even more.