Chapter 8 - Morning Confessions
I retreat hastily to my apartment, desperately needing to escape from the guys before I do something stupid in front of Trowa. Stupid, like punch Duo in the face for meddling and then getting punched by Heero for hitting his boyfriend. Well, probably not. Heero would be the rational one and separate us before we could actually damage each other.
I run into my haven, making sure to leave the door unlocked – though I'm sure I'll be out of the shower before Duo is done drilling Trowa – strip out of my damp clothes and jump into relaxing lukewarm water. Allah, I hope Duo doesn't mess this all up. I know he means well. But he sure as shit can be a scary s.o.b. when he gets serious and protective, and Heero really doesn't help to change that picture.
It does seem that they managed to resolve whatever issues they were having, including Heero's issues with public displays of affection. It is as if they went in the end of a tunnel where nothing was allowed and emerged on the side where everything is allowed. There were some points this morning that I thought they were just going to go at it in front of us. "Allah, I don't need any more reminders that I don't have anyone. Or that the only sex I've had in years have been pity fucks." I bang my head gently on the tiled wall because I really shouldn't be thinking about any of this.
"Fuck." I hiss and start washing as quickly as possible before my poor neglected libido takes over. I manage to make it through my shower without caving to my baser needs and with a triumphant cry, I turn off the water, jump out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. With bouncing steps I make my way to my room, hopefully a positive attitude will be able to overcome any damage Duo may have done.
Now what the hell am I going to wear today? Jeans are usually good and neutral. I start combing my closest for one of the two pairs of relaxed fit jeans I own, which appear to be conveniently underneath a pair of shoes I haven't worn in a year. Shows how much I wear relaxed fit jeans. Ok, time for a shirt. What do I have that doesn't scream 'hey look at me I'm a rich, available, gay boy?' Not like I'm trying to hide it, just want to keep it low key. Why? I think I am worried about scaring him off. But if he is gay he'd want to see me in my normal 'I'm so fuckable' outfits. Right? Oh the dilemma!
"Oh hell." I should start with the basics and work my way up. Boxers are good. Since I am going to be helping Trowa move into his apartment that eliminates flannels for they are too warm and silk, as that would just be pathetic since we're not at that stage in our relationship. Though he did see me in my underwear already, I don't think I want to push my luck on this one and risk him turning tail and running away before anything gets a chance to happen.
I pull out a pair of slightly goofy boxer briefs, a gag gift from Duo when I off-handedly complained about my boxers bunching uncomfortably last year when I was helping him and Heero move into their house. I don't know where he found them; don't want to know where he found them, but they so embarrassingly have 'Study Hard' neatly written on the crotch and ass. Since there is no possibility I'll be losing my pants in front of Trowa, I feel ok with putting them on for the day.
Suggestive boxer brief? Check. Relaxed fit jeans? Check. I step into them and pull them up, noting that they are a bit on the large side. They must have fit when I bought them. Grrr…
"Quatre?"
Shit, Trowa. "Bedroom." I know I've been caught; at least I didn't pull the stereotypical girl thing and pull everything out of the closet to figure out what to wear.
Trowa comes walking into the bedroom. I'm standing there without a shirt on, jeans riding low on my hips showing the band of the special pair of underwear. I look at him with an embarrassed look on my face, and he starts to chuckle. "Why can't I see you as the type of person to wear clothes that don't fit perfectly?" He asks me with a smile.
"Because, I'm not." I answer truthfully and then shyly I add. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by wearing what I usually wear."
He gives me an odd look. "Why would I be uncomfortable with what you are wearing?" He sounds confused.
I furl my brow and take a deep slow breath. "Because I think they make me look like a rich, available, gay boy?" I run my fingers through my still damp hair.
"Well aren't you a rich, available, gay boy?" Trowa asks me with a teasing tone in his voice, and I catch myself before I respond with something akin to: well, I don't know about available.
His eyes brighten as he catches my hesitation in answering the question and I opt for a vague answer. "I guess."
"Quatre. Dress however you want to. You're not going to make me uncomfortable." I squirm a little as his eyes appear to roam over my body hungrily. There is always the possibility that I am making things up that aren't really there. I think I need to push him out of my room before one of us does something stupid. Like jump each other before we're ready. I will not let lust fuck this up, no matter how much I want to let it pilot.
"Ok." I walk up to him, put my hands on his shoulders and gently push against him. "But you have to get out for a moment. So I can change."
Trowa takes a step back and chuckles. "I have seen you in your underwear, and I know you are wearing some."
He had a point, but he hadn't seen me in this ridiculous pair of underwear. "Well…" Hum, choose words carefully or else it will arouse major suspicious.
"Well?" He questions as he attempts to suppress a chuckle.
"Well it is embarrassing."
"You're not wearing a thong or a g-string are you?"
I feel my eyes bug out. "I don't even own any."
His green eyes sparkle with mischief. "That, of course, could always be remedied." He gently leans against my hands.
My jaw drops, what feels like clear to the floor, and I look at him incredulously trying to figure out what exactly he meant by that. "I can't imagine that they're all that comfortable." I finally say as I regain some of my composure.
"Eh, they're not that bad." Confusion! I give him a suspicious look. "I was part of a circus fraternity the last two years. There were times when you needed to make the costume a little less… see-through and a jock strap would look funny under skin tight spandex." That was a little more candid than I was prepared for.
I'm also not sure which surprises me more. The fact that he was in a circus or that he just 'fessed up to wearing thongs while he was there. "You get to tell me more about the circus while we're at breakfast, but now I kick you out so I can change." I tell him sternly with a slight shake of my head, causing semi-dry bangs to fall onto my face.
"As you wish." He offers me a small, gentle smile that just makes me melt and carefully brushes my bangs from my eyes, his hand ever so slightly brushing my forehead in a mock caress. Trowa takes a slow step back allowing me to rebalance my weight so I don't fall over. With a small smirk he turns, leaves my room and closes the door behind him.
I stare at the door for what feels like eternity, trying to figure out what exactly he was getting at during our exchange. With a little wiggling, my pants fall to the floor without being undone, and I laugh at myself for thinking that wearing them was a good idea. I grab a pair of maroon cotton boxers and the jeans I wore briefly two days ago, along with a lightweight burgundy, touchable soft, complimentary, form fitting tee shirt.
Dressing quickly, I stop abruptly, look myself in the mirror and sigh. Allah, I am so pathetic. I feel like an eager high school student with a stupid crush. I can't read him, I don't even know if he's actually gay or just really comfortable with his own sexuality that he feels it is ok to flirt. I hardly know anything about him, and what I do know I've learned after two and a half days. Yet, there are people you are just drawn too. Like Duo. Duo and I were friends from the moment we met, to the point where we were virtually inseparable. Well, until he and Heero started dating and even then we remained close.
"Fuck." I hiss in sit down on my bed, all the sudden feeling totally inadequate and pathetic. Then there was a knock on my door.
"Quatre?" He sounds a little lost.
"You can come in." I tell him as I flop backwards on the bed.
Trowa enters and sits down on the bed with me. "You ok?"
I give him a weak smile. "Yeah. Just been a crazy couple of days."
He smiles. "It has, hasn't it?"
Then abruptly, before I can tell myself it is a bad idea I say, "I'm glad that Duo didn't scare you away. How did it go?" I roll my head to the side and look up at him.
Trowa closes his green eyes and is silent for a moment as if debating what exactly he wants to tell me. Then he takes a deep resolute breath and exhales slowly. "Well the bulk of his inquisition was focused on trying to figure out if I was gay."
That got me flying into a sitting position a look of shock on my face. I groan miserably. "I can't believe he did that."
Trowa laughs quietly. "No. It's ok. He meant well. I give him credit for his bluntness. Not many people have the ability to just come out with it."
Allah, I so want to know the answer to that question. "So, everything ok?" Not exactly indirect, but a bit more tactful than Duo's approach.
"I don't know if the answer thrilled him, but he seemed to accept it. He also told me that if I hurt you, he would have Heero beat me up." He gives me a little thoughtful smile.
I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and look at him. "He's unbelievable."
"He's protective, maybe a little too much. But the sentiment is sweet." He pauses and bites his lower lip, then looks into my eyes. "Quatre, I couldn't give Duo a solid answer to the question." He pauses as if he is looking for the right words. "I've been in a few relationships with girls. Nothing really ever came of them, and to say I'm inexperienced with guys is an understatement, but…" He takes a deep breath trying to steady himself. "If you think you would be ok with..." He pauses again and runs his hand through his hair. "God this sounds stupid." He whispers under his breath, and I decide to hopefully make the awkward moment less awkward.
"Be ok with helping you figure it out?" I offer, figuring that is where he is going. I wouldn't consider myself overly experienced, but at least I know.
Trowa bites his lower lip again and nods his head weakly. "I don't want…"
I don't let him finish, quickly lowering my legs so I am sitting in lotus position on my bed, I reach out my hand, caress his cheek, and lean forward, kissing him mid-sentence. What has taken possession of me, I have no clue, but it seems like the right thing to do at the moment.
He hesitates, his green eyes flying open in surprise and shock. I look back into them and pull away. It was a simple chaste kiss, something akin to what you would give a family member when saying hello or goodbye to them. His green eyes reflect his confusion, and he licks his lips subconsciously. "If you want more just ask." I state simply, letting him digest what just happened.
Trowa swallows hard. "Quatre…"
I grin and stand up, pulling him with me. "Come on lets go get some food and you can tell me about the circus." A bright smile graces my lips, and I gently grab his hand, giving it a gentle pull to follow.
He grasps my hand tightly and pulls me to him. "One for the road?" With his free hand he caresses my cheek and tilts my chin up.
"One for the road." I nod not wanting to say anything about more, not knowing if there will be more, but this is a definite improvement over where I was yesterday.
Trowa lowers his lips to mine and they gently meet. I allow Trowa to lead, knowing that if I lead, we'll probably end up on the bed with me trying to strip him of his clothes. Yeah, I really need to get laid, but calm is the name of the game at the moment. I can feel him tense just a bit, as if he is unsure what he wants to do with this chaste kiss of ours. Does he want to deepen it? Or is he content enough right now to have our lips touching while gently playing with my hair.
He pulls back for a moment, and I open my eyes to see if I can figure out what he is thinking. Bright green eyes stare back at me, and he smiles mischievously and gently pulls me back to him again. This time he kisses me for real. The same slow tentative start and then, like he craves more, I feel his tongue tease at my lips. With a smile, I play back, taking minute control of the situation. I slip my hand around his neck and tilt my head for a better angle and deepen the kiss. Wonderfully, he follows along, and we stand in the middle of my room, both of us with one hand around each other's necks and the other around the other's waist, kissing with exploratory wonder and passion.
As we pull apart, I gently bite his lower lip and grin. Allah, that was one hell of a kiss. "I think we should go get food now. Because if we don't, I might not be able to stop kissing you." He tells me quietly, his voice weak and breathless.
"I think that is a good idea." But I am unable to move away and pull him down for another long kiss. This is so much better than breakfast, I grin to myself even as my stomach rumbles in protest.