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As they both lay there panting, him still resting inside of her, the guilt overtook him completely. He didn't dare look in her eyes.
He slowly pulled himself out of her, avoiding her eyes, and rolled to his side. Somewhat luckily for them, the inevitable awkwardness was postponed when Bellatrix slammed the door open, striding into the room.
"I see you're already done," she smirked. Hermione blushed deeply, having forgotten that they were being watched. She grabbed the sheets around her, making sure she was covered. Severus said nothing and merely glared contemptuously at Bellatrix.
"You may go now. But be ready to be summoned. Both of you," she added, quickly looking at the still blushing and wordless Hermione.
"Severus, I never imagined you as the kind of lover who could leave their partner so breathless." And with another smirk she left them alone.
After a few tense seconds, Hermione asked quietly, "Are we alone now?"
"Yes." He wouldn't look at her.
"Is it safe to talk?" she asked quietly. Severus looked around the room, everywhere but at Hermione while casting a few silencing charms around them.
"...Yes."
"Look at me!" Severus was shocked into meeting her eyes. She had an intense look on her face, somewhere between desperation and confusion.
"Listen," she said carefully as if afraid he would give her detention, "I know you did what you had to. I already said I trusted that. So please, just talk to me and look at me. Don't treat me like a child. Please."
Even as the confident-sounding words left Hermione's lips, her mind was spinning.
He thought a moment before shaking his head and regaining his composure.
"You are obviously now unfortunately involved in all of this. And I suppose you have gained that you cannot simply walk away from the Dark Lord so easily," he said slowly.
"Yes." He was surprised. She maintained some poise even in the face of all this.
"The Dark Lord now thinks that you have been working with me, providing me with information. He may expect you to assist me with certain assignments or missions. There is nothing I can do about that."
She nodded, trying to take it all in.
"However, I see it in our best interest to not enlighten the Order of what has happened here. They should only know what they absolutely need to. I lied and convinced the Dark Lord you have been an informant to me. That's it."
"Oh… ok," she said. She tried to imagine the look on Harry or Ron's face if they knew what they just did. For the first time, Hermione felt shame creeping into her conscience.
"And for obvious reasons, if and when we are both called back to his presence, we must keep the act up." Hermione looked down into the sheets and nodded.
"The Dark Lord will not have complete trust in you immediately. He may ask you to do things. Things you won't like." He paused. "I will do my best to dissuade him or help you, but there is a limit to what influence I have over his decisions. You will have to do as he asks if you value your life."
Hermione thought all of it over. "So I should be quick to follow his commands, no hesitation?" she asked.
Severus nodded and looked around uncomfortably.
"This," Severus said waving his hand at the bed. He stopped; he didn't know what to say. He rubbed his face with his hand. "This is something that…This is… I am sorry," he said the last phrase so filled with guilt that Hermione pitied him.
"I understand," Hermione said. Her stomach was in knots.
"I do not have to tell you how dangerous this is. One slip up from either of us and- that's it. You should not have to do this, but I imagined you would rather live in danger than not live at all."
"You imagined correctly," she paused awkwardly. "Thank you. For… saving me, doing what you had to for my life."
Severus said nothing. His only thought was that should not be thanking him for that. He was glad, however, that she picked up on hints and he felt secure that she would know how key discretion was.
"What will happen when we go back to Hogwart's- I mean, I'm assuming You-Know-Who would expect things from me," Hermione wondered timidly.
"I would imagine so. But I cannot. That is still a month away. I find with the Dark Lord, you can only take it one day at a time," Severus said somberly. It was a defeated tone of voice that she had never heard from him before.
There was a few more moments of tense silence before he said, "We should get ready to go. I will take you back to Grimmauld Place. I'm sure they are all anxiously awaiting your return." Hermione's face remained passive.
"I'm assuming you have more questions. There is more I need to discuss with you. But first, I will get you back to your friends. We can talk later," he said, some of the usual formality and coldness returning to his voice. At the moment, Hermione didn't know what to think. She really wanted to get back to...well she didn't know what she wanted to do.
They both looked away from each other as they searched for the rest of their clothing on the floor. When they were both fully dressed, Severus cast a few cleaning and straightening charms on their clothing, making them look unruffled.
Without a word, they left the room together as Severus led them back to the main door. As they passed through the room with the Death Eaters, Hermione heard derisive and cruel laughs aimed at her. Again, she felt shame as she simply looked ahead, following Severus. Word had apparently spread quickly.
Severus located a confused Lucius who realized that Voldemort was letting her go. Severus simply summoned Hermione's wand from Lucius' pocket and guided her the rest of the way out with a protective hand around her waist. She didn't mind as long as it meant no one would bother her.
Once outside the heavy metal door, she realized it was now night time. The warmth from his body next to hers was conflictingly comforting. He grabbed her arm gently, looking at her. She nodded that she was ready and he Apparated them to outside Grimmauld place.
They both paused at the top step. Severus looked at Hermione. She still looked a bit battered and bruised, but it was the look in her eye that really caught his attention. And it made his stomach clench in guilt. Her eyes weren't watering, but the look on her face was worse than if she had been crying. Sensing his eyes she snapped out of it and shook her head, leaving her eyes blank once again.
"Let's go then," she said quietly and as flatly as she could manage.
They opened the door. Hermione's eye flitted to a clock which read 12:32 am.
Whatever chatter there had been in the nearby kitchen immediately stopped when they heard the front door open.
Hermione suddenly stopped. She was trying so hard to be strong, and it worked until she was about to face her friends. Then she would have to admit that this was all real.
The distressed and ashamed look on her face pained Severus, knowing he had caused it. He found his cold demeanor melting, which surprised him. He had been forced to hurt his peers before while doing Voldemort's bidding, but never like this.
In one quick movement, her picked Hermione up bridal style and whispered, "Play along, stay quiet." He hoped that it didn't sound too much like his instructions from earlier, not wanting to distress her more. He kicked the door open before walking in with Hermione in his arms. Everyone who had waited up (which was everyone) was shocked into silence at the sight of a bruised and limp Hermione. Unfortunately, that blessed silence could not last.
A million questions rained down on Severus, each more panicky than the last.
"Is she okay?"
"What happened?"
"Where did you find her?"
"Did that bloody bastard touch her?"
"SILENCE," Severus yelled, even making Hermione wince. He smirked inwardly; he still had it. As much as Severus would have liked to tell himself he was only carrying her in like this to look like a hero, he deep inside knew he did it to protect Hermione from being questioned.
"Now, Ms. Granger is okay. Obviously in the need of some healing, which I assure you I can take care of. However, now would not be the time to barrage her with questions. She needs to rest and does not need any of you pestering her. I brought her in here to show you she is indeed alive, but I will now take her to her room and let her rest. I expect you all to respect this," Severus said shortly.
Hermione raised her head enough to look at everyone. She was quite well enough physically to answer all their questions if they demanded it, and Severus knew that. But she was very grateful that he was saving her from that experience. For now.
The room was quiet as they all took his words in. Severus took the opportunity of their silence to turn around to carry her upstairs. He made it halfway up the stairs, Hermione clinging to his broad shoulders and neck when they heard hurried footsteps behind them. Turning to see who it was, Hermione's heart clenched again.
"Lupin, I thought I made it clear-" Severus began angrily
"Made it clear that you are going to care of her all by yourself? You want us to wait downstairs while you carry her up here all alone with no explanation to us?" Hermione was shocked by his aggressiveness. It must be near the full moon.
Severus sighed most condescendingly. "I assure you, I pose no threat to her. The concern for her safety is funny coming from you, though. Now, who was there when she was abducted?" Severus asked smoothly.
Remus' face lit up in anger like she had never seen before. He had his hand on his wand and would have sent one hell of a hex at Severus had Hermione not been conveniently between them. Hermione felt a slight suspicion that it was for that fact that Severus felt safe in goading Remus.
Severus continued, "Now Remus, I would advise you against rising to anger. It's near the full moon, is it not? It would be a shame if any more accidents happened around you."
Hermione was annoyed at how Severus was treating Remus, and she had been squeezing his shoulder as hard as she could to signal him to stop. But Severus had ignored her silent pleas. Apparently squeezing his shoulder didn't work here.
Hermione's eyes met Remus' for a moment. She could tell that Severus' words had cut deep. He looked wracked with guilt. 'You're not the only one,' Hermione though to herself.
She tried to give Remus an apologetic look for Severus' comments, but she could tell it did not register with him. Severus turned around and continued carrying Hermione up the stairs, leaving a wordless and heavily emotional Remus in the hall.
"Which room is yours?" Severus asked softly without the coldness he had directed at Remus.
"Second on the left."
Repositioning Hermione in his arms, he opened the door. She wondered why he didn't just let her down at this point. But she was too emotionally and physically exhausted to care. He closed the door behind them before moving to the bed and laying her down gently. She stared at him, torn between gratefulness and anger. He had saved her from the questions, but he had no right to talk to Remus like that. It wasn't his fault. She decided to just remain silent, not trusting her tongue when she was so stressed.
He looked at her a moment, seeing her eyes burning with conflicting emotions.
"I'll be right back," he said, letting some coolness creep back in his voice.
And as Severus left to get some more efficient healing potions, Hermione was left alone to her thoughts.
Everyone in the kitchen was silent as Severus stalked out with Hermione in his arms, clinging around his neck.
Before anyone spoke, Remus suddenly uttered a throaty growl before following quickly. Everyone remained silent, just relieved with the fact that she was alive. They heard heated voices near the stairs, though they couldn't hear distinct words. They heard silence again and heard someone walk angrily to the front door and slam it as they left. They all presumed that was Remus.
"Don't worry, it's just near his 'time of the month'," Sirius attempted to joke before he walked out to follow Remus.
The small chuckles were enough to break the tension. Everyone released the breath they had been holding. Mrs. Weasley began to cry.
"Oh, Mum," Ginny sighed as all the redheads moved to comfort her.
Harry remained silent, still angry at himself for letting this happen. And angry for having to get Snape to help. And angry that Snape had strode in to the room with a superior smirk on his mouth and a battered Hermione in his arms.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Well, we know that Ms. Granger is safe and in good hands."
Harry and a couple of others scoffed. Dumbledore ignored this and continued, "And I do agree with Severus. She needs to heal and rest. We know she is fine, and I believe we should leave the rest until morning. Perhaps everyone should go to bed and get some rest," he finished, emphasizing the last phrase.
Slowly, grumbling, most everyone filed out. Harry was one of the last to leave, but Dumbledore gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as Tonks and Kingsley steered him forcefully out of the room.
This left Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Moody in the kitchen.
"So, what do you think Albus?" McGonagall asked worriedly.
"I have faith in Severus. But I also feel Ms. Granger has been through a lot tonight," Dumbledore said sadly.
"I would bloody well say so! You saw the look in her eyes. She's been traumatized," Moody said gruffly.
"I trust Severus to fix her up. Though I am anxious to find out what happened, I believe I will take my own advice and let her rest and leave questions for her for the morning, though I will go ahead and get Severus' report," Dumbledore said a little more lightly.
After exchanging one last worried look, they all left, leaving those staying at Grimmauld Place to lie awake with a conflicting mixture of relief and worry.
"Remus, please! Stop and talk to me. Mooney!" Sirius pleaded.
The use of his nickname finally caught Remus' attention. He sighed and stopped his rapid pace, causing Sirius to collide with him.
"Oomph! Now please Remus, I shouldn't even be out here! Dumbledore is working on my pardon, but I'm still technically a wanted man!" Sirius said exasperatedly, looking around. They were alone in the street, but Sirius still felt paranoid.
Remus let out a slow breath.
"Yes, of course. I'm sorry. I just- snapped. I don't know why. It's just- I let this happen to her. And to have Severus of all people rescue her…" Remus rambled. Sirius looked at him sympathetically.
"I know, Mooney, I know."
"I hate that she and Harry and the others are being affected by this war. I will be glad when I will be nearby this year. But you know Severus will love rubbing her capture in my face! He will not let me forget," Remus exclaimed.
He was indeed going back as the D.A.D.A. professor this year. Dumbledore had smoothed things over with the Ministry of Magic and the School Board and had gotten Remus his post back for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Mostly it was because no one else wanted the job; the supposed curse on the job was widely known.
"You don't need to take this all so personally though. Hermione is a smart young lady and knows you would do anything to protect her and that you feel horrible," Sirius reasoned.
"She is a bright witch. But I hate what she is being put through because of the war. She shouldn't have to deal with all of this," Remus worried miserably.
"So this 'bright witch' as you call her, can't handle the danger? Well I admit, if there is one witch who doesn't know how to handle danger, it is Hermione!" Sirius said sarcastically.
"Please, Padfoot, don't mess with me, not tonight. I'm tired and the moon is putting me on edge," Remus pleaded. He rubbed his face with his hands tiredly. He just wanted to see Harry and Hermione and the others live the normal lives they deserved.
"Very well Mooney, be a Hippogriff's arse. Let's go back inside then," Sirius said jokingly as they turned around to walk back.
Hermione hadn't moved since Severus left. She watched the clock. It had been 10 minutes. In that time, she heard people slowly move back to their rooms, thankfully none of them tried to visit her.
Hermione's stomach filled with uncomfortable butterflies. She felt ashamed. It hit her full force. What would Harry or Ron or anyone say if they knew what had just happened? They wouldn't look at her the same way again.
A hot tear rolled down her cheek as Severus returned with his impeccable timing and a few bottles of potion.