A big thank you to reviewers! I love getting feedback. Now, for some plot-thickened soup... and rice...
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, etc.
Hermione watched Severus leave the library, curiosity almost overwhelming her. She also felt somewhat worried. If they were to retrieve that book, that would mean going to Voldemort's headquarters again. She didn't know how she was supposed to concentrate on anything until 8 that night.
Hermione left the Herbology greenhouse at 3 that afternoon feeling as nervous as ever.
"What are you worrying about? Surely it can't be homework, you've done everything that's due for the next month," Harry said as Ron joined them walking back to the castle.
"Oh, it's just the work I'm doing with Professor Snape. He makes me nervous," Hermione said honestly. "Hey, I'll catch up with you guys later."
Harry and Ron nodded and headed up to the Common Room. She really just wanted some time to think.
She decided tonight that if Severus would trust her enough to let her help him with his real work for the Order, she would venture to ask him some questions. She had lived with his scant explanations so far, but it was killing her not to understand everything that was going on.
What exactly did Severus tell Voldemort was going on between them? Why would Voldemort allow that to go on? Why didn't Voldemort just kill her? Why did Voldemort pretend to trust her? Hermione honestly doubted that the Dark Lord would be so easily fooled. She had a feeling Severus would not want to answer many questions, but Hermione was determined to get her answers if she was going to work with him.
She visited the kitchens, but Dobby wasn't there so she found herself wandering around the castle aimlessly until she bumped into someone.
"Hello, Hermione," Remus said, stumbling backward.
"Oh, I'm sorry Remus! I didn't see you," she said embarrassedly.
"Oh, you're quite forgiven. In fact, if you're not busy, would you like some tea?" he asked.
"Sure." They walked back to Remus' office chatting the whole way. He poured them some tea and they talked about Hermione's classes and then about some new developments in defensive magic. They both subscribed to professional journals of magic and they kept up-to-date on the latest discoveries and research.
"I'm surprised they don't teach more defensive spell at Hogwart's, to be honest, especially considering the times. I mean, I've learned some new ones from this copy of Munimentum that I have and-"
"Where did you get a copy of that? There aren't many left in the world from what I know," Remus said.
"Oh, well, Sev- I mean, Professor Snape leant me his copy," Hermione said. Remus coughed and choked on his tea.
"He leant you his book?" he asked incredulously.
"Well, yeah. Considering the position I'm in, he thought I may do well to learn a few good spells like that," Hermione said.
"So working with him and being his Assistant…it has been, ah, bearable so far, shall we say?" Remus asked gently. Hermione considered it for a moment.
"Yes, actually. I mean, he's by no means outwardly pleasant, but he's not horrible," she said. Remus laughed.
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, but then looked more serious. "Hermione, I really am worried for you, though. I mean, you are in a precarious position. The Dark Lord thinking you are supplying him with information? That makes you a target. Now I know Severus is a very capable wizard, but he can't protect you from everything." Hermione looked down in her tea.
"I know. I mean, it's not a good situation. But it's better than what I expected. As soon as Lucius took me, I thought I was dead. The fact that I'm a live is a miracle," Hermione said. Remus sighed heavily.
"I am so sorry. I should have been more aware. It was my fault he was able to get you. It was a stupid mistake," he said heavily.
"We all make mistakes. It was as much my fault as it was yours. Please, don't blame yourself. Blame Lucius," Hermione said with a smile. Remus returned it weakly.
"The second he disappeared with you, I was so afraid-" he was cut off by a knock at the door. Severus entered.
"Ah, Severus, I was just having some tea with Hermione. Would you like to join us?" Remus asked. Hermione was amazed how kind and easy-going Remus always managed to be, the exception being around the full moon.
"No," Severus said so quickly and curtly Hermione almost laughed. "But seeing as it is Ms. Granger, I don't feel it necessary to talk in code. I've brought your Wolfsbane potion," he said as he sat a bottle of potion on Remus' desk. He then turned his attention to Hermione. "If you're done with your tea, we can get started early tonight," he said calmly. Hermione put her cup down and looked at Remus.
"Go ahead, Hermione. It was nice talking to you," Remus said genially. Hermione smiled and ran to catch up to Severus who had already left and was walking briskly down the hall.
They didn't speak until they got into the dungeons in Snape's classroom. He raised the wards on the door and turned to Hermione.
"Albus has decided I should tell you what I've been researching. Please," Severus said the last word in a way that said he was not asking, "do not interrupt. I might answer any questions you have after I finish explaining."
'You will answer some questions,' Hermione thought to herself, but just nodded.
"One of the Order's greatest weaknesses in the First War was the reluctance to use the Killing Curse. Dumbledore still feels the same way about using it, but seeing as the Dark Lord is as willing and ready as ever to use it, I've been trying to find a way to prevent the spell from working. When I asked about inducing death, this is the research I've been doing; to find a potion or spell that will induce death artificially while allowing the user to move around and use magic, with the intention of making the Killing Curse useless in a battle." Hermione's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "Do you see the problem?" he added.
"Well," Hermione started, "I suppose you're looking for something with the same base as the Draught of the Living Death, but without the side effect of paralysis." Severus nodded. After a moment, Hermione added, "But doesn't the Killing Curse also separate the soul from the body? The same potion wouldn't stop that, would it?"
Severus quirked his face in an expression that was somewhere between a smirk and a smile.
"Yes, there is the bigger problem. You undoubtedly know about the Sorcerer's Stone?" Severus asked. Hermione nodded but was confused. She knew it to be destroyed after first year.
"As I'm sure you're aware, it was destroyed for fear of it getting in the wrong hands. However, Albus was wise enough to think there may come a time when we could use some of the stone's properties. You are familiar with the Elixir of Life?" Severus asked. Hermione's eyes widened.
"Yes! It has the ability to return a wizard or witch whose soul is separated from their body! Which is why Voldemort wanted it, right?" Hermione asked excitedly before thinking.
"Don't say His name!" Severus yelled so angrily that Hermione actually shrank away in fear. She hadn't seen Severus get angry that easily before. She stepped back from him, eyes wide.
Severus took a deep breath before recomposing himself. He felt a pang of shame to see how he had scared her.
"I-I," he struggled to find the words. "I apologize for my outburst." Hermione paused but took a tentative step back toward him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it. It just- popped out," she said sheepishly. Severus nodded and continued.
"I have enough Elixir to use for this purpose, but none to waste," he explained.
"So why can't we just use the Elixir of Life by itself to prevent the soul from being torn away from the body permanently?" Hermione asked.
"It's complicated. The Killing Curse takes the soul away from the body but also shuts down all the organs immediately. Taking the Elixir by itself would not prevent organ damage. The soul would return to the body just to die from the organ failure. But if we induce the physical aspect of death ourselves, if we can find the right potion to combine with the Elixir, no harm will come to the body or soul from the Killing Curse whatsoever," Severus said.
"Why hasn't this been researched before? I mean like in the First War?" Hermione asked. Severus gave her a long, almost sad look.
"Because this is messing with Death itself. This is verging on necromancy. What I have been researching is of the Dark Arts. Which is why I am telling you and giving you the option to say no," Severus said and then took a step closer to look her in the eye. "Even if this is for the War, if the Ministry finds out about this project even after the war and even if we win this war, it is likely we could be imprisoned for doing this kind of work. Do not take this lightly," Severus said in a deadly serious tone. But she didn't even have to think about it.
"I'm in this. If this gives us a better chance, I don't care if we tread in the Dark Arts, as long as our intentions and use of the product are pure. We are only doing so to prevent worse things. I'm willing to pay any consequences if this means I can help to end this War," Hermione said very confidently and with her hands on her hips, daring him to argue.
Severus smiled. An actual smile. Not a smirk, but a smile, albeit a small one.
"I never took you to be a moral subjectivist," he said. Hermione paused. She hadn't really thought about it. If someone had asked her even one year ago if it was ever okay to dabble in the Dark Arts, she would have said no.
"Well this is war, isn't it?" Hermione said after some though. "Perspectives change. Unless you're in the middle of it, you can't understand or really judge why people do the things they do to protect others. To protect their loved ones."
"Indeed. War brings out the best and worst in people, but always brings out the best in innovation," Severus said in way that told her he had thought about it before. Hermione decided it was now or never, seeing as he was being unbelievably forward with her
"In that case, in the case that your trust me with this, will you be honest with me about some other things?" Hermione asked cautiously. Severus immediately looked uncertain.
"Such as?"
Hermione took a deep breath.
"What exactly have you told You-Know-Who is going on between us? What is it that all the Death Eaters know?" she began. Severus shifted.
"I have told Him that since His return, at the beginning of your fifth year, I have been seducing you. That I have succeeded to the point that I have gained your trust and you tell me things that the Order might not tell me. I told him that with you wrapped around my finger, Potter will be weak when it matters most. It is well-known that you are the…brains of the 'Golden Trio'. If I have the ability to control you, Potter's support will be corrupted," Severus said slowly.
"Why did He forgive the fact that you hadn't told him about our, um, affair until now?" she asked, fidgeting with her robes.
"I told the Dark Lord at first you thought you were helping the Order by informing me, but over time I planted seeds of doubt in your mind. I made you see in the last year that the Order is corrupt and the world would be no better off if the Order and Dumbledore won the war. I told him I only wanted to bring you to him when I was sure you had been converted." Hermione was surprised by his honesty and decided to go for everything she had been wondering about.
"Why would Voldemort allow this to go on? I mean, he knows that you have gained the Order's trust back mostly. You probably know more things than I do about what the Order is doing. Why not just kill me, especially if he thinks I am the 'brains' backing Harry?" Severus shifted a little more and didn't answer immediately. Hermione waited patiently.
"I asked Him not to kill you as a favor. I think killing you was his original intention. But I have never asked him for anything else. The only other request I ever made of him was… ignored," Severus said surprisingly coldly. Hermione wondered what the other request had been, but decided not to press her luck.
"What reasons did you give for wanting to keep me alive?" she finally asked, afraid he would change his mind and erase her memory of this entire conversation. Again, he didn't answer immediately.
"I told him that I have… greatly enjoyed your company the last couple of years. That I have you conditioned to my, ah, physical liking, and that it would be a waste especially if you can still be manipulated to hinder any progress Potter or the Order makes. He let you live as a reward to me," Severus said, not meeting her eyes. Even if none of it was true, Severus did not like the idea of training a girl to be his whore.
"So he left me alive to keep you… pleased?" Hermione asked, trying to put it as nicely as she could.
"Yes."
"Considering that's what my life depends on to Him, doesn't He, um, check in on your memories to make sure that I'm, um, doing my job?" she asked awkwardly, avoiding his eyes.
"Yes. I am an accomplished Occlumens, though, and I have been able to fabricate other scenarios based on… a particular memory." As he said this, he actually hunched his shoulders in discomfort.
Hermione hated herself for having to ask.
"…But won't You-Know-Who eventually notice a certain level of repetition? I mean, eventually He would notice everything He sees is like an echo, right?" she asked.
"Well, I have been working on that as well. Trying to find a way to fabricate new scenarios without actually having to… do anything," he finished uncomfortably. Hermione nodded.
"So why was He being so... pleasant to me? To Him, I'm a- a Mudblood. Why feign niceties and trust?" Hermione asked.
"He is playing to the fantasy He thinks you have in your mind that He is the better choice between Him and the Order," he answered.
"Okay…thank you for being so honest with me. I don't mean to be a burden to you, with everything you already have to put up with," she said softly. Severus met her eyes for the first time in several minutes.
"Do not think of it that way. Think of it as you said before. This is your opportunity to do something." Hermione smiled. She guessed that was as close as Severus Snape ever came to giving a pep-talk.
"So what now?" she asked, eager to shake off the heavy moment.
"If you don't mind I was going to allow you to make some burn salve for the Infirmary. It seems my personal stores are also low," he said with a smirk. Hermione rubbed her arm where she had burned herself only the night before.
"But what about that book? Didn't you say we were going to retrieve it?"
"It would not be wise to bring you with me. Among other things the Order has sheltered you from is The Dark Lord's more… depraved activities and, um, voyeuristic habits. He orders female Muggle-borns and Muggles to be raped as he watches. If I brought you, He would most likely want me to, ah… entertain him," Severus said, with a strained look on his face.
"Oh…" Hermione was shocked by his brutal honesty about the rapes. Hermione always had the thought in the back of her mind that Death Eaters probably did more than just torture people with curses, but no one ever discussed it. Hermione then began to wonder is Severus had ever been called on to perform such awful activities. She did not want to think about it.
"Will you be okay to make the burn salve by yourself?" Severus asked.
"Yes."
"Good. I will be leaving now. I should hopefully not be gone long, but I never know…" Severus trailed off. Hermione nodded.
"Severus, please be careful," she said as he made his way to the door.
He stopped after he opened the door. He looked back at her as if he wanted to say something else, but settled to nod at her before shutting the door behind him, leaving her to work.
Thank you for reading! Please review.
Warning: I'm about to do some shameless self-advertising. I've recently posted two new stories. One is a one-shot, the other will be a longer fic like this one. You should check them out.