A/N: I know I said I was going to try to have everything done by last night, but I spend more time than I should have yesterday working on the master time line for the 'Days' Universe. So here's the second to last chapter. Edited by yours truly in a bit of a rush, so my apologies ahead of time for any horrid mistakes. I'll try to get the last chapter posted when I get home tonight.
And thanks to those who have been kind enough to review. I am glad you are enjoying it.
Warning: Some Lemony-Limey bits at the end.
Chapter 21 – Flying High
(Quatre's POV)
I wish there was a way to describe the feelings emanating from my boyfriend as we walk hand in hand away from the only home he can remember right now.
He keeps looking over his shoulder as we walk to the car where Rashid and Auda wait. I can only assume he's hoping that his parents will realize the mistake they have made and come rushing back out for him. Though, I am very certain he knows that will not happen. Simply imagining what just happened to Trowa, happening to me, makes my blood run cold. Yet, mixed in with the disparity of just having severed ties to the family, is a sense of relief.
"You ok?" I ask quietly.
He laughs, a bit bitterly and I realize that it is a stupid question to ask. Of course he's not ok, he's just found out that he's missing more of his life than he realized at first, and he's just found out that what he was recalls has been warped and twisted to make him something he isn't.
Trowa doesn't answer, not yet at least, and we walk to the car and get in. As I buckle the seat belt, I look him over. The almost calm facade he had worn to the car is now gone and replaced with wide-eyed shock. "Practically, everything that I know is a complete and utter lie."
"Seatbelt." I mutter softly and he reaches to his side and secures the belt across his body, all the while staring straight ahead.
My boyfriend, the man I have been in love with since I was thirteen, vigorously rubs his face with the heels of his palms as I start the car. "Although, so many things make so much more sense now." I glance at him as I put the car in drive, foot on the brake waiting for Rashid to pull out in front of me, and say nothing to Trowa, knowing that he will tell me when he's ready. "I had images of making love to you. I remember the emotions and your golden hair. It blazed in my mind, and I thought once I had a face and a gender, but my parents had already formulated a story to make me doubt that memory. As I would describe what I saw they told me about the girl they made up to replace you."
A long breath escapes his lips and he closes his eyes, I only assume to collect his thoughts some more. "Tristan..." he starts and corrects himself, "I, never told them about us. I was able to get out of them that they saw us kissing somewhere, and Duo and Heero were there with us too. 'We had to remove you from your faggot friends.'" He says the last bit in a lower voice, and I assume he's quoting his father, and I wince, but say nothing.
"I didn't even know I was actually from Sanc until I was getting ready to go to school and needed my official documents to get visas and a passport, only to find out that I didn't actually need them. My parents didn't bother with American citizenship, they just keep getting their visa's extended. I got that the only reason they are over here was to get me on a continent you weren't on, thinking that if they remained in Sanc, we might run into each other again and I would remember everything. They thought that they could make me straight." He laughs softly and I glance over at him — careful to mind the road since Rashid had started driving while Trowa talked — to see a soft, content smile on his face. "Boy, they were wrong...I'm glad they were wrong." I reach over and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. "That's why they got so mad at me when I said I was trying for Sanc University, they knew that the likelihood of me running into you was rather high, and they didn't want that."
His thumb gently makes little circles over my knuckles and out of the corner of my eye, I see him look down to our hands. "Are you mad?" His voice is quiet and directed towards his lap and not me.
"Trowa, why would I be mad?" He shakes his head and looks at me, his green eyes full of held back tears. I don't think I could keep myself from crying if I were in his place. "Every person I dated after you left was lacking, something about them would just never fill that place in my heart that you're leaving left." It is my turn to laugh a little bitterly. "I even compared you, to you. Though, I was getting to the point where you were surpassing the memory of your teenage self. I'm lucky that I can reconcile those the two and make them one. I looked at the file, and by the looks of it, I'd say that I'm lucky that you made it through the accident with only 'relatively' minor reconstructive surgery and memory loss. Though, I am extremely mad at your parents for depriving you of all your memories, all of your friends, your love." I look away from the road quickly and flash him a goofy 'I'm in love' grin and turn back before I do something stupid like drive off of it.
"Is it ok for you to call me Trowa? I'd rather not be called Tristan anymore. Or Barton for that matter, but I'll deal with that."
Allah, I resist offering up my last name, since the ramifications of even mentioning that at this moment are a little overwhelming. Though, the dream I had when I was fifteen, the dream that someday I would marry Tristan, all the sudden looks like it could become reality. I know I am jumping things a tad, but what had been impossible this morning, was suddenly possible. "I think it would be odd for me to call you Tristan now. Tristan is the younger you, Trowa is you now, and that is how I found you. I'm perfectly happy to oblige and call you Trowa."
"Thank you." He squeezes my hand tightly and relaxes. "Heero knew. He had read the file before he gave it to me the night of the pre-wedding party. I didn't know he had read it until I went to visit them on the day I had enchiladas, but he knew. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before we came here; I needed to know, needed to see your reaction to my parents, and theirs to you. I was so afraid that I was going to lose everything by doing this." He lets go of my hand and runs both hands through his light brown, silken hair. "I lost my family, but, oddly, I think I'm ok with that. But if I had lost you, and everyone I believe are my friends, I don't know what I would have done. To lose everyone, everything twice seems like it would be too much to bear."
"Trowa, you aren't going to lose us. In fact, I think everyone will be happy that you have returned." I pause and debate for a split second on whether I should mention anything about restoring his lost memories, part of me says I should wait, but the other part says it shouldn't. "Do you want your memories back?" My voice is quiet.
I am not exactly sure what he is going to say, in my mind there are only two answers, yes and no. "I don't know." He answers, and I was not expecting that, which is obvious because I know I look confused.
He takes a deep breath and, I assume, organizes his thoughts. "I want them; I want to know about who I was, about us, about what we had, what I had. But, at the same time, I don't want them. I don't want to remember what my parents were like before they found me kissing you. I think it would make it harder to truly be ok with not having them as part of my life anymore."
A sad smile crosses my lips. "I don't think my sisters, or the medical genius' they know, could pick and choose what you remember. They could help you unlock memories, but I don't think there is the option to restore certain files. You don't have to make up your mind now. In the end it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you are here, with me, and we are on our way home."
"Home." Not exactly a question, not exactly a statement, more like a memory, and a happy one at that, if the wistful smile on his lips says anything. "It is funny, I consider that little apartment on campus more of a home than the house we just left behind."
"Funny, in that tragic sort of way, but it makes sense that you feel at home in Sanc. It is your homeland. You just didn't know it until a little bit ago." He nods and then goes quiet, staring out of the window as I drive.
We travel the rest of the way to the airport in comfortable silence. I know that he needs time to think things through, so I let him think. I hope he chooses to work on unlocking the past. It seems like he's being cheated of so many things by keeping them locked up. There is always the possibility that now the truth has been revealed his mind will start to heal on its own, but I think someone could help the process along.
Finally, ahead of me, Rashid signals and turns down the road leading to the private airstrip we are using. I park the car next to the head of my guard had been driving and two men in black emerge from a third car parked on the tarmac. Rashid hands the keys over to one of the men and I hand mine over to the other. I look over at my jet and see the fuel tanker disconnecting and one of my men doing a final look over to make sure everything was in place and ready for takeoff. Trowa walks next to me and I take his hand in mine. He gives me a gentle smile and we drop our hands just long enough to climb the steps onto the plane. I glanced at my watch and it was several minutes before noon. I groaned, eight hours in the air and then back to our normal time zone, would make it two in the morning when we land, and then we had to get home to our beds. Maybe we'll stay on the plane another night.
"What's the matter?" Trowa asks as he sits down in the seat he had sat in on the way over.
"It is going to be about two our time when we land." I explain as I sit down next to him and fasten my seat belt.
"We don't have to drive back, we could always just play hooky tomorrow and sleep in." He gives me a mischievous smile.
"We could." There is the loud thud and I turn to see one of my guards closing and securing the cabin door.
"We are going to be taking off momentarily, Master Quatre."
I nod. "Thank you."
Next to me Trowa shakes his head. "It is weird to hear people call you 'master.' It is going to take some getting used to."
I chuckle. "It isn't that bad, well, not unless I go home and then it is really bad. Everyone is really polite at the big house."
"I'll remember that." He says with a wink and that startles with the sound of the engines and the cabin beginning to pressurize. "This doesn't bother you at all, does it?"
"Flying?" He shakes his head yes. "Nope, not in the slightest. All my men are licensed to fly all Winner aircrafts, The plane itself is the best there is, and we have everything we need if we have to abandon ship." I shrug. "And sometimes it feels like I fly more than drive. I'm just used to it."
He nods, takes my hand in his and rests his head on my shoulder. "Trowa?" I am confused by what is his doing.
He lets out a deep breath. "I'm not used to it yet." And I realize that his actions corresponded to plane taxiing.
I cannot help but smile. "We'll talk more when we've leveled off." Trowa nods his head, still resting on my shoulder, and I lean back and kiss the crown of his head.
Takeoff is smooth as usual and in not too long a time we reach cruising altitude. Rashid's voice comes over the intercom and in Arabic he tells me that the skies are clear and we should make good time back to Sanc. He also apologizes for speaking in our native tongue with Trowa on board, but he wanted to let me know that he and his men would only interrupt if we asked. I pushed the intercom button on the wall and thank him for everything.
Trowa is looking at me, waiting for his translation and I couldn't help but smile. "Rashid says that the skies are clear and we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. And they will only bother us if we request anything of them." I unbuckle myself and stand up, stretching as I do. "Come on. We've got sleeping quarters on board." I offer my hand, which he takes after freeing himself of his belt.
I guide him back to the room and slide the door closed. When I turn to look at him, my gut tightens and I try not to act on primal needs. I fail spectacularly, as I wrap my left arm around his waist and my right hand slinks though his hair to cradle where his neck meets his head, pulling him as close as possible for a crushing kiss. His body tenses for a mere moment and then his arms wrap mimic my hold on him and backs me into the bulk head. I hit harder than expected and a small sound emanates from my throat. "Sorry." He says before returning his lips to mine.
There is no way to describe these heated, passionate kisses. It is like, the invisible barrier we had both built up to protect ourselves is crashing down around us and we can truly touch each other again. Feel each other again. Even in my euphoric haze I find it funny that we had our shields up. Me, because I didn't want to get hurt and used again and him, because of the uncertainty of his past and the fact that he was hiding something from me, even though he didn't fully realize it.
A whimper escapes my throat as he breaks the kiss. "I am ready to strip you naked and make love to you all the way home." His voice was breathy, laden with passion and need.
I playfully nip at his chin and he moans low and deep. "Me too, but before all that we've got to talk a little." He groans and leans into me, resting his head on the wall.
"You're right, though I haven't a clue at this moment what we need to talk about." Trowa mumble into the crook of my neck.
"Well, I want to tell you something before we go further, not that it is all that relevant, but I don't want to forget to say something and then have you find out from someone else." I gently push him off of me and walk over to the oversized chairs which can fully recline and be pushed together to form a double bed, Granted you had seat belt in your mattress, but it was better than nothing. I set the chairs up in bed form, grab some blankets from the linen locker and sit down, motioning him to join me.
"It can't be that bad." Trowa looks at me skeptically.
"Not bad, really. But it could be awkward."
He actually laughs at that. "It doesn't have anything to do with the kiss you and Duo shared right before we caught our planes. Does it?"
My mouth opens to say something, and then nothing comes out. "Thought so." He kisses my parted lips and I snap out of it.
"What?" I know I look really confused.
"You slept with Duo, maybe even Heero too."
I stutter a bit, how did he know? "How?" I seem to have lost all ability to speak more than one word.
"I'm right?" He looks a little shocked and I nod. "And how." He shrugs. "Duo and Heero both said some stuff about past boyfriends and I got the feeling from you that you had didn't actually sleep with any of them. And I couldn't imagine not having any for four years. I seemed logical, that they would offer some sort of safe outlet as they seem pretty united on keeping you safe and happy and, for the most part, they appear pretty secure in each other. Then I saw the kiss that Duo gave you right before we caught our plans. It was one of those tender, parting kisses you see in movies. Like the end of something that had been. A goodbye."
Some of my voice returns. "I've kissed Duo before and it didn't have anything to do with sex."
"Quatre, I don't care." He smiles and I am utterly confused. "I'm sorry I couldn't have been there for you though, but I'm glad that you did have people to help you through it."
"Trowa." I put my hand on his shoulder and pull him down onto the 'bed' and to me. "I got to the point where I stopped trusting everyone that hadn't already been my friend. I'll tell you more about them, but not now. I don't want to talk about them now." I can't stop the tears rolling down my cheeks and I pull him close to me. "Allah, I have missed you so much. And I hate your parents for taking you away from me, for making my life miserable for all the years in between. I thought, when you didn't contact me after you moved. You hated me. That what we had didn't mean a single thing to you. I didn't handle that so well." I try to laugh through my tears and it just sounds pathetic.
"I missed you too, I didn't realize how much until all of this came out in the open. But I know that you were the first thing I remembered from my life before the accident, and one of the first things that they repressed. I swear to you that I will not leave you unless you tell me too."
Those words do it and I capture his lips. "And I swear to you I will not tell you to leave." Not exactly marriage vows, but the words hold the same power of me. A promise for the future, that if we are ever separated it was not because either of us wanted it to be. Some would argue that this was not the best time to make vows like that to each other, when we are so emotionally controlled, but I really don't see a difference. Any time you make a vow to another person, and truly mean it, I don't think you could keep emotion out of it, especially when we're talking about relationships and being in love.
Trowa rolls onto his back, pulling me with him and practically forcing me to straddle his waist. He reaches his hand up and cups my cheek. "Make love to me." He pleads and I momentarily consider not doing it. Just because he's been through a roller coaster ride of emotions and I don't want this to be the safety net that catches him. "Make love to me because we have wanted to for weeks now and haven't because the unknown stood between us." He smiles. "Make love to me Quatre Winner, because you're not going to be rid of me."
I laugh. "You're right. I've wanted to make love to you since we first kissed." I lean over and kiss him gently.
"Me too." We meet in another heated kiss, tongues battling, exploring, figuring out what has changed since we last made love together. He's a better kisser now than he was then, that is for sure.
I'm only aware of the fact that my shirt is being pulled off because he tugs none too gently on it in order to get me to raise my arms. We break our kiss just long enough for me to finish pulling my shirt off and him to do the same. The feel of his skin beneath my hands makes me break the kiss so I can taste his skin, to kiss it, caress it and make it mine. It isn't something that we haven't already done before. No, we've explored each other's bodied quiet thoroughly already, but this is different. I can't explain why it is different. It shouldn't be, but maybe I want to relearn Tristan as Trowa. Because I am allowed to compare the two now. I get to compare my memory of my love then and revel in what time has changed in him. What he has become in our years apart. I get to revel in the fact that he is mine, as I am his, and I will not be letting him go again.
His skin tastes different as I re-explore his chest and arms as his fingers curl into my hair. There was a sweetness about his skin back then, but it has been replaced by something musky. A masculine scent that fills my senses and makes me drunk. There is a lingering taste of that sweetness I had thought I had forgotten, but I like how he tastes and smells now.
I am very happy to find that all that spots that made Trowa squirm with pleasure when he was younger, still make him writhe beneath my touch. Make his breath hitch in his chest and cause him to whimper softly, all the while pushing his body to meet my touch, begging for more. As I move lower I see the top of the scar from where he had his appendix removed. I sit up, so that only my knees touch the side of his hips. I shimmy back a few inches and undo his pants, pulling them down just enough to reveal the entire scar. I run my hands over his smooth belly and bend over to kiss the scar.
"I was there when your appendix burst in orchestra rehearsal. I was so scared, and insisted that I ride with you to the hospital. I refused to leave until I knew you had made it out of surgery all right. And even then, Rashid ended up carrying me out when I finally fell asleep. I was such a naive thirteen year old."
"I probably was too." I lick across his belly, more so to see his reaction while trying to talk. He gasps and arches his back. I grin and take this little break to divest myself, and him, of what clothing we have left on. I take extra care undressing Trowa and caress his skin as it is shown to me.
"All the way?" I make sure, not that I wasn't sure before I asked, but I was giving him a chance.
Trowa chuckles. "I do believe I asked you to make love to me."
"No lube." I state.
"What did we use as alternatives?"
I frown. "We really didn't have to worry about that. My sister smuggled goods to us. The guy she's married to now ran a porn shop for a while before they got together. They knew each other in school, met while he was working on his second PhD, and she really wanted him to work with her. He wasn't ready for a life of research and ran away and hid in a place he thought her least likely to find him in." I chuckle. "Little did she know that the store she walked into was run by him." I lightly drag my nails over his skin and think. "Mild liquid soap might do it. I can't guarantee how long it will stay slick though. And I don't want it to hurt."
"We really didn't have to worry about it?" I shook my head 'yes.' "Where the stories about sex in the bathrooms at school true?"
I laugh, and purr. "Oh, very true. Some of the hottest sex we have ever had. But we both always had a stash with us." I nip the inside of his thigh. "Heero and Duo had a hard time keeping up with us, and they've slowed down a bit since then." I let him work that over in his head.
"You have got to be kidding me." He says in disbelief, while sporting a very large grin.
"Not at all."
He shook his head, still trying to imagine that much sex. "I really don't know how your parents managed to be oblivious the entire time we dated. We fucked like rabbits. Never at your house, but you didn't always shower after we were done. We had to have both smelled like sex. But at the same time, after today's events, I don't know if they really would know what sex smells like." I muse.
"I don't think they did. And I'm willing to chance soap." He grins.
"It's your ass." I give him a cocky grin.
"I expect you take good care of me."
I kiss him. A long, gentle, sensual kiss. "I promise to make this as pleasurable as possible." I go to the medicine closet and poke around until I find something that looks like it might work and a bottle of water. "Part of me is glad neither of us is prepared. Means we weren't expecting it."
I kneel between his legs and position him in the best possible way. "I feel silly." He mutters.
"You won't in a moment. Trust me." He picked his head up the 'bed' to protest, but before he could say anything I go down on him. That very nicely handles and protesting him might try.
I settle into a nice slow pace and prepare him. Our makeshift lube works for the most part, but I need to add a bit of water to the mix to keep the soap slippery. For some reason I always enjoy this part. I love being able to see what a little tiny movement of my finger does to his self control. But then again, self control be damned if you've got a person who knows what they are doing playing with your prostate.
He writhes in front of me, and it is the most erotic and beautiful thing in the world. Ok, one of the most beautiful things in the world. The guttural, primal scream as he comes and pants my name afterwards is about as wonderful as it gets for me. I like knowing that I did that.
"Are you waiting for something?" He manages between deep breaths.
"Mmm, no not really. I'm just admiring. Enjoying your looks while I play with you. But if you insist." I say and realize I am extremely nervous about what I am about to do.
"Quatre, please." He rolls his head to the side and begs me with bright, practically glowing, green eyes.
All I can do is nod and prepare myself with the right mix of soap and water that I hope will give the best lubrication. I take a deep breath and position myself between his legs, and with all the patience I have left I slowly push in. I watch his face for signs of pain, but I don't see any and continue to push in I can't any further. "Hurt?"
"No, feels odd, but doesn't hurt." I pull out just a little and angle my hips differently and he breathes in quickly, tosses his head back while letting out a low, sexy moan.
"Do that again." Trowa pants and I gladly oblige.
Allah, I missed making love to him. I missed the feel of his body against mine. I missed him. And now I have him, beneath me, joined with me and he is my world.
Unfortunately, neither of us manages to last too long. It doesn't take long to bring him to completion again, just a few rough strokes and uncoordinated thrusts. Seconds later I'm losing it and fireworks explode in my vision. I fall forward, landing on my hands, which are resting on either side of his head and wait for the colors dissipate. When they do I look at him, looking at me with a content smile on his face. "That was beautiful." He whispers and props himself up so we can kiss. I pull out and crawl up next to him and wrap my limbs around him.
"So how do you want to spend the rest of the flight home?" I ask with a mischievous grin.
"I don't think you really need to ask that." He replies with a soft bite to my shoulder.
"No, not really." With that, our energy returns and we continue reacquainted with each other's bodies.
I can't tell you how long and how many times we make love on the plane. But it gets to the point where we are both too sore to do anything more and too exhausted to even want to try. We haul ourselves over to the sink and use washcloths to clean up a bit before we pass out.
"We should get dressed." I mutter as I rinse out my wash cloth.
Trowa smiles sleepily. "We should." So we do, and curl up next to each other to sleep for the rest of the flight.
At this moment, as Trowa wraps his arms around me, I am the happiest person on Earth and the colonies. And no one, not even Duo and Heero, can persuade me otherwise.